GentleStorm Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Hi guys, I'm trying to get back with my ex boyfriend who I still very much like, and because I still think we were perfect together. I just want to share my story with you guys, and get your opinion about what I should do next. Me and my ex broke up 7 weeks ago, after a pretty much flawless 4 year relationship. We didn’t live together, but did saw each other up to 3 days each week. In short the reason for the break up was loss of trust from his part. He caught me messaging with other guys on apps and Whatsapp. I never actually cheated on him, but obviously this hurt him a lot. He just didn’t know what to do anymore, and lost all trust in me. I implemented the no contact rule directly after the break up. After a little over 30 days I contacted him with an upbeat message, and he said it was way too soon to meet up again (I didn’t suggest we should, he just assumed that). I told him that was not my intention, and went on to try to make a conversation with him. He didn’t respond. The next week I gave it another try. This time no message, but just a picture on Snapchat which should’ve made him laugh. He actually responded to it and we had I short conversation. I ended it soon after. A couple of days later I tried the same thing again, this time there was no reply. The day after I got a message, he wanted to meet up to talk. I accepted and we went to get a coffee in town two days later. We talked and he told me he thinks we can never be together anymore because too much has happend. I said I didn’t expect anything different, and that I’m totally okay with the break up (to make him feel secure, and that it's ok to talk to me). I showed him myself and all the progress I made (it’s a lot, both physical as mental (professional help – self asteem, which was the main cause of the messages according to my psychologist, and so forth)). We decided that we want to be friends, and start talking a bit more again. He just doesn’t know how to just yet. But he told me he wants to try. This now is two days ago. An hour after the meeting I sent him a message saying I liked talking to him, and that it was good to hear that he is doing well. He didn’t reply to it, he neither has to, but I was a little disappointed as we’d said we wanted to talk a little more. Right now I don’t really know what to do next. I could either give him more time, let it all sink in. I somehow have to rebuild the trust with him, and this could obviously be a long process. And I think this can only be done by actual interaction, showing him who I am, als also rebuilding attraction. This is difficult, especially since I’m not sure if he’s open to a real positive conversation. We always texted a lot, so this would be the obvious way to start talking again. What do you guys think? 😀 And if you think I should talk to him, how should I start and build the conversation? Obviously I really want to get back with him. We've had a wonderful relationship and have many things in common. All my friends and family are saying they expect us to be together again, because we were so perfect together. For me however it feels like we never will be at this moment, and I'm willing to work for it but in the right way. For now that was mainly working on myself, which I did and I will continu to do so. But that also includes regaining trust and building attraction and so on.. Link to comment
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