Interesting question...

[Titanll]

A buddy recently asked me a question that I thought I would share here.

 

For background info:

He's been dating a woman for about 4 months. She's attractive but he has dated, what I think, are more attractive (physically) women. She's very nice and they both seem very happy.

 

His question to me was...do I think it's unusual that she never comments on his face? He says that he compliments her often about how beautiful he finds her and he zeroes in on her face purposely to see if she will follow suit. She reciprocates about his body but never his face.

 

Assuming he has an "attractive" face (which is very subjective) what do the good folks here think? He's not always the initiator of compliments, they seem to genuinely care for one another but the poor guy is bent over her lack of positive comments about his face haha!

 

My answer to him was a simple, "I have no idea." The more I thought about it, the more I began to think that maybe she doesn't find his face very attractive.

 

Ladies in particular, is she skirting around his face because he ain't no Chad or is it something less insidious?

[Batya33]

How often does he compliment her on her personality or character/integrity? Maybe she's not into the compliments on physical features so she doesn't want to encourage by reciprocating.

[mustlovedogs]

I've never really been one to compliment someone's face specifically. I don't know. I personally wouldn't read in to it.

 

Also, I think it's so petty that he's testing her. And your comments make it clear he "could do better" - so it's almost like he's surprised she's not doting on him.

 

That's toxic to a relationship.

[shellyf62]

She's attractive but he has dated, what I think, are more attractive (physically) women

 

That poor girl.

 

He sounds very shallow, and must check himself out in mirrors all the time

[Starlight925]

As a female, I can tell you this: I have to remind myself to give compliments to a guy, any guy. Yes, I admit, that's terrible, and the only reason why is, I guess I never think of it. I have to consciously decide to give someone a compliment, because when they give me one, I guess I feel embarrassed, so I turn my feelings inward, and they don't receive a compliment back from me. Years ago, a boyfriend made a comment about this: He asked me how I felt when he complimented me, and I said it makes me feel great! He said, "well don't you think I would feel great too?" And that made me realize that I need to just be more conscious to give compliments.

 

My point is, she may just not give compliments about his face because women aren't accustomed to giving men compliments about their face. Or that she feels a bit odd, or embarrassed, doing so.

 

I wouldn't read anything into it. If she's with him, she's attracted to him. I know that's a double standard, because women love receiving compliments. We just aren't always as good at giving them.

[LaHermes]

Ease off, T.

 

" for any future posters, if you are only going to comment some irrelevant BS, just don't waste your time."

 

No need to be rude to the posters who replied.

 

You DID ask:

 

"what do the good folks here think? "

[mustlovedogs]

^ I'm totally different from LHgirl. I give compliments out freely. And even I don't give face specific ones often. Maybe your eyes look nice today or I like your smile?

 

But to say I like your face...

 

]

[Titanll]

As a female, I can tell you this: I have to remind myself to give compliments to a guy, any guy. Yes, I admit, that's terrible, and the only reason why is, I guess I never think of it. I have to consciously decide to give someone a compliment, because when they give me one, I guess I feel embarrassed, so I turn my feelings inward, and they don't receive a compliment back from me. Years ago, a boyfriend made a comment about this: He asked me how I felt when he complimented me, and I said it makes me feel great! He said, "well don't you think I would feel great too?" And that made me realize that I need to just be more conscious to give compliments.

 

My point is, she may just not give compliments about his face because women aren't accustomed to giving men compliments about their face. Or that she feels a bit odd, or embarrassed, doing so.

 

I wouldn't read anything into it. If she's with him, she's attracted to him. I know that's a double standard, because women love receiving compliments. We just aren't always as good at giving them.

 

Thank you...this is helpful. This is the kind of thing that he needs to hear. Thank you for a useful response.

[mustlovedogs]

You are wrong. I never have or would expect him or anyone else to date someone based upon my tastes...again, I thought something this simple would be understood. I guess both of our assumptions were incorrect. And I made no implications...you read that into my comment. I more or less emphasized that it was "my opinion" that he has dated more physically attractive women. If anyone is shallow, it's me haha!

 

Anything you post is considered relevant.

 

So if it's not relevant, don't post it.

[boltnrun]

Maybe she feels "face" compliments are superficial.

 

I'm curious why this bothers your friend. Is he sensitive about his facial features?

[reinventmyself]

She reciprocates about his body but never his face.

 

Is he self conscience about his face, perhaps?

I find this odd.

I can compliment my man. . in a general sense. You look handsome tonight -- great shirt, it looks good on you.

I may have complimented a mans smile once or twice before. But I don't think I'd be irresponsible if I complimented one thing and not the other.

At least I am complimentary.

[Titanll]

^ I'm totally different from LHgirl. I give compliments out freely. And even I don't give face specific ones often. Maybe your eyes look nice today or I like your smile?

 

But to say I like your face...

 

]

 

Haha! I get it...I think if she complimented anything above his neck he would be happy. This guy isn't someone that I would consider shallow or narcissistic, when he asked me the question, I was taken aback a bit. I certainly thought it was unusual. I only posed the question here looking for replies specific to the question...not a diatribe about my buddies (or even my) potential shallowness.

 

Again, if I told my SO that she has a beautiful face and she said..."uh, I love your feet", I may start to wonder, haha!

[Nikego]

If i like a guys face, id compliment him on it for sure. Ive only really liked a few guys faces tho. I definetely have a type.

[Careerchoice]

Maybe your friend is insecure about the way his face looks so he would notice such a thing. Seems pretty obvious to me.

[nutbrownhare]

I don't think I've ever commented on a guy's face specifically. Ever. I've told partners things like "You really are a handsome sort of a chap" or suchlike, but not really elaborated on that. I think most of the guys I know would find it embarrassing if I did.

 

I guess many women spend more time on enhancing nature when it comes to their faces than men do, so to an extent compliments are "expected" (sometimes as much for their artistry as their facial features!) It could be that if he spends time working out, say, she'd feel it appropriate to comment on his body because he's specifically worked on it. For whatever reason, it seems more acceptable to openly admire a man's muscles than it does his baby-blue eyes and finely-chiselled nostrils.

 

So... to answer your question, I doubt he needs to worry. Though, the more I think about it, there does seem to be a difference in expectation between the sexes.

[shellyf62]

No need to be rude.

 

I commented my way because you implied he could do better - something I'm sure you've told him. Am I wrong?

 

He wasnt talking about your comment he was talking about mine. lol

[shellyf62]

I sort of expected intelligent replies...one out of three ain't bad, I guess.

 

I have no influence over his choice, never voiced a negative comment in any way about his girlfriend and I very much like her and him. He asked what I thought was an interesting question.

 

I shared it here because I thought it was actually interesting. I would wonder too if my situation was similar.

 

Instead of trying to defend my friend, for any future posters, if you are only going to comment some irrelevant BS, just don't waste your time.

 

Also, if you lack any ability to comprehend what I posted and are intent on "reading" into what I posted, please just hop to the next thread. Good lord...

 

3 people liked my comment, so it looks like you are the only one who didnt.

Posting on an open forum gives anyone the right to comment on it, tough if you didnt like my response.

I do still feel sorry for the girl dating someone as shallow as your friend.

[nsolo]

"but the poor guy is bent over her lack of positive comments about his face haha"

 

You've got to be kidding me.

[Vicky89]

I complimented my ex on the following....

 

- His eyes

- His smile ( He had unique shaped teeth

- His nice tight butt ( He was hair free, smooth, and it looked sexy as hell )

- His big thick um... well yeah

- His legs, he actually had nice legs for a guy, not too thin, not fat, he had muscle and tone without working out for it

- His skin ( blemish free and nice light color)

 

The end God, this question made me realize that although he was a butthole, he was a nice looking one.

[Sportster2005]

A buddy recently asked me a question that I thought I would share here.

 

For background info:

He's been dating a woman for about 4 months. She's attractive but he has dated, what I think, are more attractive (physically) women. She's very nice and they both seem very happy.

 

His question to me was...do I think it's unusual that she never comments on his face? He says that he compliments her often about how beautiful he finds her and he zeroes in on her face purposely to see if she will follow suit. She reciprocates about his body but never his face.

 

Assuming he has an "attractive" face (which is very subjective) what do the good folks here think? He's not always the initiator of compliments, they seem to genuinely care for one another but the poor guy is bent over her lack of positive comments about his face haha!

 

My answer to him was a simple, "I have no idea." The more I thought about it, the more I began to think that maybe she doesn't find his face very attractive.

 

Ladies in particular, is she skirting around his face because he ain't no Chad or is it something less insidious?

 

That just strikes me as an odd question. Sorry. Why is he so worried about his face? Why not his chest, or hair?