Relationship issue what to do. Am I asking too Much?

[RKYoung]

Annon post.

 

What would you do. Been together two years married to a veteran. When we first met we went to a burger place and movies and then I went to his place weeks later he just moved he had nothing but a twin bed and a laptop. I didn't care because I don't care really about money and stuff, Im very accepting and he says that's why he liked me so much. We used to watch movies on his laptop and i never complained or anything. He moved me in his place and we built together and now in a two bedroom with two kids and make a lot of money now. I used to work I stay at home with the 1 year old because he can't deal with him so it's just his income. He watches our son like a "babysitter " can't leave him more then a hour. I have the child all day while he just plays the game , I feed him , bathe him, take him to doctors , I take care of him. He stated he didn't like my hair because he felt like it wasn't much to do with it (I have locs and he just wanted something different ) so me being compromising I got weave over $500 worth of weave and wigs changing it up. I try to keep the spark in our relationship lingerie and surprising him with pictures. I'm not a good cook not really confident in the kitchen but I try to make a effort even if my effort comes out disgusting I still try again had a bad situation growing up so didn't have much kitchen teaching ( I look up recipes and YouTube cooks and look up cooking classes ) , I clean and do laundry , watch his stupid games and stupid shows I try to be interested in what he's interested in. I don't cheat. I believe I am a good girl and very different. The problem is that he has never been emotional type and I'm not asking for flowers or anything just simple cuddle with me kiss me once in a while. I ask for simple things let's do something for our anniversary or birthday , show some appreciation for what I do, no porn ( I know that's hard but I wouldn't have a problem with it if we was having sex ) , lets change up positions in sex ( tired of missionary ) , and don't disrespect me. He has the nerve to say you can't cook so if I cheat it's not my fault I feel offended because I make my effort and he has made NO EFFORT. It's always been one sided I make so much changes and I get nothing but cursed out all the time , called stupid , and demeaning. I'm aware I can't cook but I try. He won't be emotional (says he would feel like a punk and I assume his mother didn't love him maybe he doesn't know how too just like I don't know how to cook ) I'm just like am I crazy ? Like I could've cheated with someone who would want to still "date " me even though we are married that never came to mind when I'm not getting what I need from my husband. I just feel like I just want a divorce, I feel unappreciated.

[melancholy123]

So why are you still with him? Your life sounds very unpleasant.

[1a1a]

Seconding that, in what way does this person support and nurture you as a person? (Leave income right out of the picture or a moment).

 

Even the most basic conflict of you would like to share physical affection but he does not, it's a fundamental incompatibility and if he isn't willing to go out of his comfort zone to try and meet your needs, this is a dead relationship walking.

[RKYoung]

I'm pregnant with his second kid and idk. I just have a hope this things could change. Like is cooking really a deal breaker for someone ?after all I have done.

So why are you still with him? Your life sounds very unpleasant.

[HeartGoesOn]

I'm pregnant with his second kid and idk. I just have a hope this things could change. Like is cooking really a deal breaker for someone ?after all I have done.

 

Your cooking is not the issue, his attitude, and blatant disrespect towards you is. You can't change him nor can you fix him, it is what it is.

 

In any event, I'm sure it's not a walk in the park with raising 2 children on your own, yet you and your children have a better shot at having a normal lifestyle by living on your own. You deserve better...

[RKYoung]

Your cooking is not the issue, his attitude, and blatant disrespect towards you is. You can't change him nor can you fix him, it is what it is.

 

In any event, I'm sure it's not a walk in the park with raising 2 children on your own, yet you and your children have a better shot at having a normal lifestyle by living on your own. You deserve better...

 

Yeah. Your right. I keep getting the same response, I probably would've been left if I didn't have two kids I keep fighting for this marriage for them.

[1a1a]

That's a terrible reason to stay in a toxic relationship, you'll be teaching your kids to settle for someone who doesn't meet their needs.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this is happening. It seems he sees you as a stay at home mother who takes care of the kids, household, etc. and he provides for the family. It's unclear why you are bothering with hairdos, lingerie, pics, etc.

 

Unfortunately you seem pointlessly focused on this perfect housewife stuff and seem oblivious to the real issues. Such as this type of verbal abuse. Go to therapy Yourself and evaluate the pros and cons of leaving.

 

Also if you 'want a divorce', get serious and consult an attorney.. Stop asking him for things, stop arguing with him. Stop the sex if you don't like it. Stop the silly fancy meals. Stop the crazy come-ons with lingerie, hairdos, sexting etc..Take care of your kids.

I cheat it's not my fault. I get nothing but cursed out all the time , called stupid , and demeaning.I just feel like I just want a divorce

[mandeelove]

Was he like this in dating stages or is it something new?

[thealchemist]

He sounds like a complete . I would think that raising 2 kids is easier than 3.