Break ups much harder for men?

[Jy1986usa]

Hollyj- think you're probably right. I just became really messed up in the head over all this and am clearly struggling to put it behind me. I'm bias. I've been rejected by a lot of women in my life and I'm an awesome guy. I've just kind of lost faith in the whole process.

[Dominique]

Hollyj - I know I have a messed up perspective right now and I admit it. But statistically 70% of break ups and divorces are initiated by women. Why is that? I think it's because of everything I've been saying. You got more options so you can be fickle in relationships. But I welcome your opinion on why breakups are so lopsided.

 

I initiated my divorce becuase my spouse was abusive and unlike in decades past where people "stay for the kids", I decided to leave to save myself. I know many women who have done the same. It wasn't about "options". It was about choosing to be happy without "him" ruining our lives.

[Hollyj]

BTW: your girlfriend is a jerk for the way she ended things. She should have been respectful enough to discuss things with you. She is a coward.

 

You deserve much better, and do not want this type of person as a friend.

[Jy1986usa]

Dominique - well said. Like I said I do have a messed up view right now because of my break up. I am broken and I have become obsessed. Thank you for setting me straight though girls. honestly it's what I was seeking.

[Hollyj]

Hollyj- think you're probably right. I just became really messed up in the head over all this and am clearly struggling to put it behind me. I'm bias. I've been rejected by a lot of women in my life and I'm an awesome guy. I've just kind of lost faith in the whole process.

 

You sound like a great guy!!!!

 

OP, if you continue to run into the same problem, then you are the common denominator. Your picker is off, my friend!!! You need to reassess the type of women you are choosing, as I believe there to be a bad pattern. I too had this issue. It took my last relationship to recognize this, to make positive changes in my life.

 

Lastly, just because someone ends a relationship, does not make them bad. I do think you ex is a witch, as she did not show the simply courtesy of telling you why she wanted to end things.

[Hollyj]

You are not broken. Stop with this thinking! You will survive. We all have.

[HeartGoesOn]

Mod Note: Please avoid turning this thread into gender bashing, which in turn would result in the thread being closed.

[Jy1986usa]

Thanks Holly. I appreciate your kind words. And I probably could make better choices in dating. This has been a huge eye opener for me. I've been broken up with before but nothing like this. I just loved her so much and was pretty convinced it was the real deal and can't believe what happened and how easily she's moved on and how cold she's become towards me. She's a completely different person than I thought. And that's why I'm on this site to better understand. I apologize for my somewhat negative view towards women and painting you all with the same brush. I'm just lost right now.

[Dominique]

Dominique - well said. Like I said I do have a messed up view right now because of my break up. I am broken and I have become obsessed. Thank you for setting me straight though girls. honestly it's what I was seeking.

 

Try not to focus on the global perspective. Focus on yourself and your heart and what you want out of life.

 

There isn't a woman in here who hasn't felt the EXACT same way you do right now but about "men". Let it go. You're hurt. You're projecting.

 

Read some more posts around here and then you will see you are not alone. There are plenty of women here feeling just Like you do. Myself included.

 

Sending you light and love.

[boltnrun]

Where are all these men that I have the luxury to choose from? LOL

 

I have been 100% single since 2010. I am middle-aged, but still a size 6, still have a (mostly) wrinkle-free face, dress stylishly and make an effort with my hair and makeup and grooming, am social and outgoing and can string a sentence together oh, and I love sex...but, crickets. No man anywhere to be found.

 

My ex dumped me for a girl 16 years younger than me. Big time ouch. If you think I just bounced to the next guy, well, that didn't happen because there WAS no next guy.

 

However, I am one of those weirdo "happy single" people. I actually like doing things on my own. I like having my own home that I can decorate however I want. No one complains about my crazy cat and I can eat dinner whenever I want (and have it be whatever I want).

 

I mean, sure, I could go down to the tourist spot and pick up some random stranger. But, ick. STD city plus I can't, um, "get ready" for someone I don't even know.

 

Meantime, my ex is still with his younger woman (who I think may finally be in her 30s). He got over me just fine. However, I don't blame him or men in general for my single state. It's just the way things are right now. Maybe because I'm older I have a more philosophical thought process. I don't just want someone to slap the label "boyfriend" on. And I don't consider myself a "boyfriend-less loser". I'm a good woman, and maybe someday I will meet a man I want to share my life with. It just hasn't happened yet.

 

I think you just need some time before you realize you can't blame all the millions of women in the world for what your icky ex did. No matter what "studies" you read online, no way can those studies apply to every single situation.

 

Check back in with us in six months, I bet you feel differently.

[Bob2526]

Thanks Bob2526.

 

Pretty much same thing happened to me. Women leave men mentally long before they leave them physically. She seemingly moved on very quickly and never looked back while my life has been in complete disarray.

 

Sorry to hear that. It's tough and it's the first time I've ever gone through a heart break. From what I've read and I do believe is that they probably still think about you and they'll never forget you. I know I made a lot of mistakes and i could have done better but i later realized I can't really change because she wants me to change. Time gives you clarity. Just hang in there, things will get better. You may not see it right now but you will. I can't believe where I am now and looking back I ask myself how I could allow myself to suffer so much when she probably doesn't even care. I'll try and never allow one person to have that much control over my happiness. You'll get through this.

[charity]

It sound like you were uncomfortable with certain aspects of her personality from the very beginning and throughout the relationship.

 

This is what you have to realize, the problem is with her personality, not her gender.

 

Yes as women, its easy to get a man. But think of why that is. Because a lot of men just want to get laid. They want, as you said 'that thing between our legs'. Nice. Do you think women are happy with that!

 

When you stop judging all women to be like your ex, you might begin questioningwhyyou chose to be with someone who wasn't a good match?