Jump to content

i have some closure but i'm still crying.


Recommended Posts

i need help.

 

my heart is aching, my face is wet with tears, and my mind is racing. all over my stupid ex.

 

i don't understand why i'm so upset over someone who's a manipulative druggie.

 

i'm so anxious for some reason?

 

guys, i don't know what to make of this.

 

i'd like to add that his longest relationship was 4 months (with me). he feels so intensely? he falls in "love" way too fast.

 

i'm so sad because TWO WEEKS after we broke up, he went into a relationship with his best friend claiming he loves her all this sh*t hes said to me.

 

the girl is a druggie just like him, and is untreated bipolar.

 

i know i shouldn't care abt what he does but my mind is always racing when it comes to him.

 

all of his previous relationships ended when the infatuation did. and for some reason i just keep getting worried about his new relationship, even when he's gonna leave her after the infatuation.

 

by the way, we're both 16. and i guess its common for teenagers to mistake infatuation as true love?? he's already calling her the one and perfect when she's actually a crazy cheating piece of garbage.

 

also, my ex is over sexual, had a bad childhood and all these other red flags that i was too stupid to notice.

 

i guess im just so annoyed that I'm WAY more mature than most people my age. I actually know what love is. And knowing these horny boys think infatuation is love makes me not want to date.

 

he broke up with me because we lost the "spark", and he broke up with the girl before me for the same reason!!

 

i just read some stupid love letter he gave me and its so obvious the things he was describing was teenager infatuation. ugh.

 

sorry for rambling.

 

i guess my question is, do infatuation junkies break their pattern for someone specific? all i know is that he didn't give a sh*t about her until she confessed her feelings.

 

is it evident he doesn't really know what love is? dating to fill a void?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are way too young to be worrying about this. He broke up with you and I know it hurts, but this guy is very toxic and he was probably gonna take you with him in the long run. As corny as this sounds, you need to focus on school. Years from now you will be thankful for being removed from this situation..trust me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are way too young to be worrying about this. He broke up with you and I know it hurts, but this guy is very toxic and he was probably gonna take you with him in the long run. As corny as this sounds, you need to focus on school. Years from now you will be thankful for being removed from this situation..trust me

 

I am very focused on school. i'm in the AP program getting college credit, and i'm only 16. school isn't really of my worries. i just need answers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't worry about him or why he does what he does. Worry about yourself and how you will AVOID this type of man in the future.

Ur a smart woman. Stop diagnosing your ex.

Move on from him and his issues.

U need to focus on why you are so caught up on someone who obviously isn't your equal in any way.

Is it a need to conquer? Be a savior? Be "the one" despite all the odds? Whatever it is, find it in yourself and then heal it.

Move on! This guy isn't worth the finger motion it takes for you to type about him.

Be strong for yourself. Let go of him and his issues. And go flourish in your life.

I wish you love and light.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't worry about him or why he does what he does. Worry about yourself and how you will AVOID this type of man in the future.

Ur a smart woman. Stop diagnosing your ex.

Move on from him and his issues.

U need to focus on why you are so caught up on someone who obviously isn't your equal in any way.

Is it a need to conquer? Be a savior? Be "the one" despite all the odds? Whatever it is, find it in yourself and then heal it.

Move on! This guy isn't worth the finger motion it takes for you to type about him.

Be strong for yourself. Let go of him and his issues. And go flourish in your life.

I wish you love and light.

 

thank you it's my first relationship so its hard for me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are way too young to be worrying about this. He broke up with you and I know it hurts, but this guy is very toxic and he was probably gonna take you with him in the long run. As corny as this sounds, you need to focus on school. Years from now you will be thankful for being removed from this situation..trust me

I agree with the above.

 

i guess my question is, do infatuation junkies break their pattern for someone specific? all i know is that he didn't give a sh*t about her until she confessed her feelings.

Personally, I don't believe in the term "infatuation junkie" - sounds like a term made up by someone wanting to convince themselves such a thing exists (sorry).

All I see is a very immature 16 year old guy enjoying himself playing the field - just typical 16 year old kid with raging hormones. You are both VERY young and have a lot of growing up and maturing to do. All totally normal, imo.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't be so hard on yourself. It is completely utterly normal to still be crying and missing them, even if you know they were toxic, for a few months after the breakup. More time if you stalk their Facebook pages or don't cut them out of your life altogether.

 

Breakups hurt, they just do. And what you're doing now is learning how to build in resiliency and how to survive that heartache, to move forward, to heal. And yes eventually to love again, although I know right now that day seems like it will never happen.

 

Big hugs, hang out with friends, do something that makes you smile no matter how silly or insignificant it seems. This will pass.

 

And yes venting here helps, we've all been there and survived it, so lean on us when you have to do so.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sad,

 

Get rid of anything that is associated with him: letters, texts, pics, emails. The cleansing helps.

 

I have read many of your comments, and you are very wise in your advice. Please apply it to yourself. How do you know what this guy is doing? Did he do drugs when you were together?

 

He is not your problem, he has made his choice to associate with someone who also does drugs. This is not your problem. Do you really want someone like this in your life?

 

Staying very busy, and time helped me move on from my ex.

 

Hugs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sad,

 

Get rid of anything that is associated with him: letters, texts, pics, emails. The cleansing helps.

 

I have read many of your comments, and you are very wise in your advice. Please apply it to yourself. How do you know what this guy is doing? Did he do drugs when you were together?

 

He is not your problem, he has made his choice to associate with someone who also does drugs. This is not your problem. Do you really want someone like this in your life?

 

Staying very busy, and time helped me move on from my ex.

 

Hugs.

 

yes he did drugs when we were together. ive gotten rid of everything but the thoughts are still there. i dont know what he's doing, just dating some bipolar chick and doing drugs. he'll never stop drugs.

thank you for your words.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He's 16. And a very immature 16.

 

The girl he is with now will not be the one he stays with forever, though he likes to fantasize about it. And no, at 16, he doesn't yet understand true love. Nobody does at 16. I can guarantee that 10 years from now, he and this girl probably barely know each other anymore. It seems heart-wrenching now, but I promise you OP that you will someday be glad that this boy was just a blip on your timeline of life. In 10 years, you will barely remember him either.

 

For now, take care of yourself. Block and delete him in every way possible and in the future, stay away from boys who mess around with drugs. You don't want to get wrapped up in that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He's 16. And a very immature 16.

 

The girl he is with now will not be the one he stays with forever, though he likes to fantasize about it. And no, at 16, he doesn't yet understand true love. Nobody does at 16. I can guarantee that 10 years from now, he and this girl probably barely know each other anymore. It seems heart-wrenching now, but I promise you OP that you will someday be glad that this boy was just a blip on your timeline of life. In 10 years, you will barely remember him either.

 

For now, take care of yourself. Block and delete him in every way possible and in the future, stay away from boys who mess around with drugs. You don't want to get wrapped up in that.

 

thank you, but I don't think anyone ever forgets their first bf or gf, am I right?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thank you, but I don't think anyone ever forgets their first bf or gf, am I right?

 

Of course you won't forget him in the true sense of the word. Human memory doesn't work like that.

 

But will he be an important figure in your life 10 years on? No, he won't. I guarantee you won't attach as much significance to this in the years to come. You will meet other guys and have great relationships that will make you wonder why you ever gave this clown a passing thought. First loves are important, but nowhere near as much as common society or Hollywood movies would have you think. For some reason, our society wants us to attach great value and romantic ideals to the "first love" when really, most first loves are not all that earth-moving in the grand scheme of things. The most important relationships in your life are yet to come.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thank you it's my first relationship so its hard for me

 

I'm so so so sorry you're hurting. It doesn't matter if it's your first or your 5th, heart break is excruciating.

I understand where you are and I can tell you that it doesn't get easier....but you will get better.

It just takes time.

Focus on you. Cry and allow yourself to feel how you feel. Be good to yourself. And try to work on letting him go. He's really not worth your time anymore.

Sending you a hug.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thank you, but I don't think anyone ever forgets their first bf or gf, am I right?

 

I'm still very good friends with mine.... BUT HE DIDNT BREAK MY HEART AND TREAT ME BAD.

 

The boys that hurt me are not forgotten but they are gone from my life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thank you, but I don't think anyone ever forgets their first bf or gf, am I right?

 

They won't be the true love of your heart the love that you always remember ,hell no . My dad was my mom's first boyfriend and true love she was 15 he was 16 . They got married when they were 18 . My dad has serious serious mental health issues and was very abusive to my mother . ( and his kids)She remembers their time together I guess with nostalgia maybe a little more than nostalgia because they have two children together . She doesn't pine for him or anything she's had many relationships since and she's remarried . Mostly the only reason she has any caring for him whatsoever is because he's the father of her two children . And what happens with him hurts her children .

 

So no ,this won't be the love of your life that you remember or anything .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1) it's not 'love'.

Especially if they're a 'Manipulative druggie'... ( They USE)... Use drugs & use partners

 

Untreated Bipolar? Awww.. been there.. so sorry!. Yes, those ones' can be especially challenging. ( Do some research on that illness and 'how they work'. Often relationships are VERY challenging, love isn't true. full of moods.. Ups & downs etc.

- Not successful.

 

Im sure all his relationships are short.... so No real loss.

 

This can be marked up as a learning experience.. again, sorry you had to encounter this .

 

HE is UNstable.. No good for anyone... walk & keep walking.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thank you, but I don't think anyone ever forgets their first bf or gf, am I right?

 

True, you don't forget them. But I can tell you honestly I could no sooner pick out my first serious relationship from a lineup than I could a stranger. I barely remember his face as it is. He was also a kind of lousy human being - I had terrible taste in men back then, LOL - a drug dealer and abusive.

 

The good news is I learned to do better and you will too. This is the thing about love, there is no teaching it except by way of field work so to speak, through life itself. So you can look at this as a learning experience in what you don't want as well as what you do by way of a relationship. And over time you'll learn more and more what it is you want, and how to get it.

 

Given how mature you already are, how self-aware you are, I'm thinking you're going to do okay and be okay. It does get better, I promise you that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...