poorlittlefish Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months and pretty much every time we have sex I end up with an irritation that is akin to burning, which can take 3-4 days to go away. I have absolutely no other symptoms and I've not spotted anything unusual with him. He lasts for quite a long time and has to go very fast to be able to climax. We don't use condoms because he's had a vasectomy (and they are likely to make him last even longer!). Could it simply be that I'm being "roughed up" down there because the longer the sex goes on the less lubrication I have left? Allergic to his semen? Is he harbouring something from his ex that is infecting me, even though there's no redness/discharge etc? As I'm 45, is it a sign of impending menopause? He's very difficult to talk to about sensitive topics. At the weekend he wanted sex a second time and I said it would have to be gentle as I was already sore. Unfortunately for me he soon went into jackhammer mode and I felt forgotten about. He was sorry afterwards but by then the damage was done. I said I experience soreness and burning most times we have sex but got no reaction. I don't want to stop having sex with him because I love him but knowing I'm going to suffer for days later every time is really getting me down now. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 i think you're just roughed up. coconut oil? no harm in getting checked up, especially not knowing for sure he doesn't have something. i'd generally advise getting tested when switching partners, especially if you're not using condoms. is he careless in bed generally? if it's just the rhythm he requires to finish i would try to lube up and if it gets bad just plainly tell him we have to stop because it hurts. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Have you and he both been checked for STD's? Other than that you could have one of two problems (or both)...you might need more lubrication (this is very common with aging) or you could possibly have a mild yeast infection, which is easy enough to fix with the right treatment. Link to comment
poorlittlefish Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 Yes 🤔. We got over that, although I suspect he may have Aspergers because that would explain the communication problems (else he can just be insensitive and rude, I guess!). Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Eek, I wouldn't use coconut oil - sounds like it's asking for a yeast infection. Maybe I'm wrong. I would say it's getting too roughed up. Definitely try adding some lube next time. And be vocal - you have the right, and the obligation, to communicate with him if something needs to change (in real time!) it's an obligation because he's not a mind reader. It's on you to talk to him when something needs to change. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 sounds like it's asking for a yeast infection. antifungal. with good hygiene, i suppose one wouldn't create a breeding ground. i suggested because pregnancy isn't a concern and they're not using condoms, plus i thought she said she was allergic to commercial lube. i see she meant allergic to semen. probably off point anyways, i'd be more panicky about contracting STIs. that would be something i'd want to check regardless of if there was discomfort or not. Link to comment
Andrina Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Go to the gynecologist and get checked out. If it's due to peri-menopause, you can be prescribed a vaginal cream called Estriol. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Go to the gynecologist and get checked out. If it's due to peri-menopause, you can be prescribed a vaginal cream called Estriol. I was going to suggest this, too. It could be a combination of being 'roughed up', combined with vaginal atrophy, and a combination of the two is going to be pretty excruciating. Interestingly, the VA isn't related to lubrication or lack of it necessarily, but it will make your vaginal walls much more fragile - leading to the symptoms you describe. It's a hormonal thing, and lube won't particularly help. Just to be on the safe side, do get tested for STD's anyway. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Talk to your doctor, not him. If sex is uncomfortable then refrain and explain you are sore and no is no. Why can't he do oral on you? You are not a blowup doll so why say yes to this then pout and complain? See a doctor ask about rough sex, lubrication, etc..He's very difficult to talk to about sensitive topics.Unfortunately for me he soon went into jackhammer mode. He was sorry afterwards but by then the damage was done. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Go see a gyno and ask them, not strangers on the Internet. It's not normal, no. But none of us can tell you what it is or why and it could be nearly anything, so get it checked by a professional. They will be able to tell you what's going on and give you treatment/solutions. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Go to the gynecologist and get checked out. If it's due to peri-menopause, you can be prescribed a vaginal cream called Estriol. you can get rx-ed suppositories too. lots of options if this is hormonal. Link to comment
marie0906 Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Do you urinate right after sex? If not, you should try. It will help flush out any bacteria transmitted during sex, and help prevent UTI's. When you say burns, does it burn to urinate or just burn in general? May be tiny abrasions from sex if not lubricated enough or a UTI. Again, try to pee right after sex. It will help a lot. Link to comment
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