4 months in, cancels on me with vague prior plan

[fabact]

Hi, four months into a relationship. exclusive (he said it a few weeks ago, not me). and i come back from a trip, we plan on seeing each other tuesday.

tuesday rolls along 2 hours prior texts to say he forgot he made other plans - had rsvpd for an event and was so sorry. apologized a few times which made me even more suspicious. whenever he has something to do he gives a bit more detail - like something he has to do with parents, or a friend, or work, or something. this had no explanation.

 

how would you interpret this? I'm a little sad, not angry b/c I have double booked accidentally in the past - and I get it that it happens. just bummed b/c I'm thinking could it be a girl and he doesn't want to tell me about it? He has never cancelled on plans with me in the past and I one time told him how much I admired that about him.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately you'll have to wait it out and see what the last minute cancellation was about. How was your communication during your trip?

 

Did he reschedule?

four months into a relationship. bummed b/c I'm thinking could it be a girl and he doesn't want to tell me about it?

[j.man]

So this happens once in four months and you assume there's another woman?

[fabact]

yes, for the next day. we kept in touch during trip via text/email.

[Billie28]

Because you once told him you admired him for not cancelling plans with you, the one time he had to he was super apologetic for it.

So far I'm thinking nice guy for paying attention and remembering your words?!

 

He is usually more detailed about his plans, perhaps because they are discussed in advance and not last minute when cancelling with you? And perhaps he doesn't know much details about the event other than turning up with whom he is going with?

 

Did you ask him what the event was?

 

What if he is super apologetic because he is bummed about having to cancel on you?

 

When are you seeing him next?

And how long was your trip? Were you in touch while away?

 

Btw I would expect the exclusivity subject to come up earlier than the 3 month mark. Were you both seeing others up until a few weeks ago?

[Andrina]

For an exclusive couple, you don't seem to be very involved in each others lives. You don't even want to hear each others voices every day, especially when you're gone on a trip? It also seems odd to me that he called it an event, and didn't go into more detail about it. You've been away on a trip, and so if he missed you, wouldn't he have already scheduled another date with you?

 

You'll have to take it day by day and see how things progress or regress. If he's not what you're looking for in a longterm bf, speak up about your needs. If your needs are reasonable, and he cares, he will strive to please you. If he doesn't care, he will let things slide and you can end things.

[Wiseman2]

Then what is your concern? Sure it's disappointing he forgot, but he rescheduled, right? What trust issues are going on that makes jump to the conclusion that he's lying and stepping out?

yes, for the next day. we kept in touch during trip via text/email.

[Annia]

So this happens once in four months and you assume there's another woman?

 

Dem trust issues.

[DancingFool]

So one time in 4 months he has to reschedule a date and you immediately freak out and assume he is cheating????

 

Sorry, but you have serious personal trust issues you need to address. This isn't about him, this is all you and it's to the level of unhealthy.

[fabact]

So one time in 4 months he has to reschedule a date and you immediately freak out and assume he is cheating????

 

Sorry, but you have serious personal trust issues you need to address. This isn't about him, this is all you and it's to the level of unhealthy.

 

yup perhaps you're right. gotta chill out. thanks everyone!