Ruined a great thing

[Simply123]

My first boyfriend when I was in high school always wanted to be with me and would always call me and text me and my parents always said it was very unhealthy, which it is and I never realized it till now.

 

I am 25 years old and I found a great guy and I get so upset because I feel like I'm not getting a lot of attention and I am constantly sad around him. I completely understand guys who are older have a lot going on with there jobs and outside life just like I do . I don't know how not to be this way and I don't want to be this way . Our relationship is awful right now because of this and I feel like I ruined it. What can I do ?

[Wiseman2]

How long have you been dating? Why do you feel down around him? That's not a good sign, right? How did you "ruin it"?

 

How often do you see each other? Do you stay in touch? What is "not enough attention"? Is he frequently working or out with friends/family?

I am 25 years old and I found a great guy and I get so upset because I feel like I'm not getting a lot of attention and I am constantly sad around him. Our relationship is awful right now because of this and I feel like I ruined it.

[Simply123]

Just three months . I feel down bevause I feel like he isn't as interested as he was in the beginning but I know it's my head and I don't know how to shut it off. We see each other three times a week for about ten hours a week. We stay in touch but the texting is becoming much more less. He will go out with friends here and there but he gives me more time then everyone .

[Wiseman2]

Your thread title states "ruined a great thing" but you don't mention how "you ruined it" or that it's so great.

 

Do you think the infatuation is wearing off? Or things are settling down into relationship mode?

three months . I feel down bevause I feel like he isn't as interested as he was in the beginning.We see each other three times a week for about ten hours a week. We stay in touch but the texting is becoming much more less. He will go out with friends here and there but he gives me more time then everyone .

[abitbroken]

Just three months . I feel down bevause I feel like he isn't as interested as he was in the beginning but I know it's my head and I don't know how to shut it off. We see each other three times a week for about ten hours a week. We stay in touch but the texting is becoming much more less. He will go out with friends here and there but he gives me more time then everyone .

 

Three times a week? That's great. And he doesn't have to text you as much because he SEES you in person three days a week. He seems to have a good balance - he sees you almost half the days per week and has the other 4 to have needed downtime alone, chores, sees a friend here and there. So you have to stop being so fixed on texting.

[abitbroken]

And listen to your folks - your ex boyfriend calling and texting you constantly like you are the focus of his every moment is NOT healthy.

[Simply123]

I agree with you , I just don't understand how I still get upset and worry if he is still interested. I don't know how to get rid of this worry

[j.man]

What does older guys "having a lot going on" mean? A job? Hobbies? Friends? These are all things you should have "going on" at 25, too. Seeing each other three times a week is exceptional just a few months in. Personally, I'm hesitant to commit to more than just a Friday or Saturday at that point.

 

Do you have enough going on in your work and social life? Your own hobbies to keep you occupied when you're alone?

[Capttrae]

If this is your first relationship since your hs bf that was constantly calling/texting this may be a big change for you. Don't stress the small stuff like text and calls, y'all see each other 3x's a week which is a lot or at least I guess it is anyway (not real up on "normal" relationships). What's wrong with a couple simple good morning/have a good day texts then maybes text or two at night? Y'all don't have to be joined at the thumbs. Y'all need to have yalls own seperate lives as well. Friends/pets/hobbies etc etc, it's not healthy to have one person that fills every waking moment of your life.

[boltnrun]

Did you bombard him with texts? If he didn't respond as quickly as you felt he should, did you chastise him? Play the guilt card? Ask him repeatedly if he still wanted to keep dating you? Have you accused him of losing interest?

 

If you did any of those things, yes, those are relationship killers.

 

What do you do when you're not seeing him?

[Simply123]

I kept asking him if he was still interested and kept asking why he was acting weird. It's annoying I know . I just couldn't help it . We are getting along better and not bring up any of my insecurities but I still feel insecure and he just seems so different and it's driving me crazy. He just seems so cold .

 

I work 40 hours and I got to the gym five times a week and I go to school twice a week and I hang out with friends once a week. I have a lot going on but I still think about him and worry about us constantly and it's not healthy.

[Simply123]

Do you guys have any advice on how not to worry ? Even though I have a lot going on I still seem to worry and I don't want to be like this . I am a very care free person but when it comes to relationships I am the complete opposite.