how to let go of anger towards an ex after they were vengeful...revenge?

[takewhatuwant]

My ex went low. Sooooooo low. He contacted my other ex and bascially just escalated things to a point that he knew he would "win". ( Him contacting my ex, was the only way to truly hurt me and he knew that, so he did it..I had told him in our past that " if we ever broke up, please do not do this"...so I gave him the ammo and he used it against me )

 

 

The anger and rage I have inside me is still there and I need to release it but I dont know how. I have basically moved on from him but every now and then I think of it and I get so upset. I was bullied as a kid and vowed never to let anyone walk all over me.

 

So when I think of what he did, it makes my blood boil. I was no angel either in the escalation of events but him doing that was the straw that broke the camels back. It has been 6 months and my ego/my heart/ my head/ my whole sense of identity cannot stand for someone treating me this way. I was suicidal after our breakup and NOT in a good place. I am in a better place, emotionally and conscioulsy trying to move forward, but I blame him and seek revenge.

[melancholy123]

Two ideas for you - the first is therapy where you can talk to a professional and get a handle on your feelings. The second is to write a letter to your ex and spell out everything you need to say. BUT DO NOT MAIL IT! Put it in a drawer for a month or two or more then one day when you are feeling better take it out and read it and decide if you want to rip it up and throw it out or you want to save it in the drawer a little longer. JUST DONT ACTUALLY MAIL IT!

[Jeffbobo]

You're letting him control you. Do you like being controlled? I personally despise it so don't even give this kind of crap another thought. I also agree with what melancholy has said. Good advice.

[Clio]

You describe a very toxic situation. Revenge would mean more of the same. More toxicity. It would be a vicious cycle. You only 'win' if you manage to step away from it. Anything else is 'losing'. No contact and moving on to new better things and people is your best bet out of this mess.

[catfeeder]

Your best revenge would be to surprise everyone, including yourself, with your resilience and ability to bounce back unscathed and build a fabulous future for yourself.

 

Really, you're only as damaged as you decide you want be. What true harm did ex do to you? He made himself look like an idiot, and for what purpose? He contacted your ex, for what--to say what a jerk you are? ...So...what is he, 5?

 

How did you even find out about that?

 

I would have just laughed. You may have missed that opportunity, but you can laugh now. If you want to remain invested in what some ex--either ex, any ex--thinks of you, you can do that, it's not against the law. I'd just reconsider what it buys you, and then decide exactly how miserble you want to make yourself over this.

 

Life is too shor

[luisannalui]

TIME. He takes care of everything.

[Wiseman2]

Why did he contact your ex and what about? What was the fallout from that? Are you in touch with that ex?

I blame him and seek revenge.