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  1. Love this. Thank you. My happiness is there. It is effortless there. Here, it happens sometimes, but the knowing is not as strong. I am healthier and laugh more there. Here, it is all about the rate race and there it is all about living. Here, it all about getting rich through real estate and who has the best stroller... Its not me.
  2. Basically just what the title says. I (40m) was living abroad in Asia for the last 5 years, with no plans to come home and live permanently in Canada. Last year, in March, the Canadian gov't called everyone back and I thought I would return home for a visit until Covid blew over. Cut to; 1 year later and Covid is still a major Bee in all our bonnets. The plan was always to go back to Asia when air travel and border entry was allowed again. However, I met someone in February and he (39m) is the best thing to happen since sliced bread. He is kind and emotionally mature. He has a good sense of humor and treats me well. Our communication is stellar. Its really easy and healthy. He also has a newborn baby girl. (He paid a surrogate and she was born in Nov 2020). We are an instant little family and I am in love with them both. I do however feel like I am getting kicked around by the universe like a soccer ball, emotionally speaking. As much as I love this new relationship, I also need to tie up loose ends with the life I left abroad. I wasn't done it yet! Nor had I thought about giving it up. I have been feeling like I am trapped in Canada and had always intended to go back....Now I don't know.. Do I go back to finish it up and say goodbye and do one last walk around my neighborhood and and and..all goodbye to all the things I didn't know I was going to be leaving like I did.. I miss it over there. I miss the culture and freedom and the traveling and the lifestyle. It's just different..Nourishing on a soul level. I love him I do. ( and her ). Its been only 3 months. I don't know if I am supposed to choose one or the other, or if I am supposed to be cool and just see how it unfolds? I am not exactly a spring chicken.. so maybe this is my only shot at love? am I ready to be a dad? am I ready to give up my life there? My friends? my job? My home? HELP!
  3. I've moved on. Truly... But I hadn't seen him for two years so I guess it's slightly anxiety inducing!
  4. Hey thanks for writing.. I hear you..but that seems a bit extreme lol. I'm not so activated by it that it will dictate every move I make. Just a minor set back I suppose. On some level, it will affect me unconsciously and be a distraction..but I'm trying to avoid making it a big deal.
  5. I mean it's not huge, but it's a city abroad, so the community is mainly an expat bubble.
  6. To go or not to go. I have been planning to move to another city for awhile. It was in the back of my mind to move there because my current job/ city is not satisfying me. It is the same city my ex and I moved to, together, 3 years ago ( and both subsequently moved out of when we broke up) I want to go back there, I was really looking forward to going back there, because he wasn't there! Ahhh relief, excitement for my move. Now, I find out he has just moved back there in the past two weeks. I'm disappointed. One of the main features of moving back to this city was the fact that I could enjoy it again without him there! I'm not hung up on him. I don't feel physically attracted to him or emotionally attracted to him. Its been two years and I'm healed. Although the breakup was bad and occurred in this city ( that we will both be in again ) I will not be so worked up about this, just an inconvenience. An inconvenience yes, but also, I'm slightly afraid to experience old emotions ( like the trauma I felt when we were breaking up in that city ) I'm over it yes, but I'm still nervous because I don't know what to expect. If I see him I will be fine. If I know he's there it will be ok. ( I would just pefer that he wasn't there) Now that I've found out he's there, It's changed my perspective slightly. I'm not as excited as I was. I was really looking forward to going out there alone and meeting new people and now I'm always going to be slightly conscious of if I will bump into him or not. ( not that it would be a terrible thing, I'll be fine, cool, just not my preference..argh slightly frustrating ) Anyone have any tips for maintaining the same level of excitement? I guess on some level I still care what he thinks..I have seen or spoken to him in two years so I don't really care what he thinks but now that I know I'll be seeing him..I'm aware of this new feeling..Anyone have any tips on how to NOT GIVE A DAMN what he thinks? Any advice or insight would be much appreciated.
  7. My ex went low. Sooooooo low. He contacted my other ex and bascially just escalated things to a point that he knew he would "win". ( Him contacting my ex, was the only way to truly hurt me and he knew that, so he did it..I had told him in our past that " if we ever broke up, please do not do this"...so I gave him the ammo and he used it against me ) The anger and rage I have inside me is still there and I need to release it but I dont know how. I have basically moved on from him but every now and then I think of it and I get so upset. I was bullied as a kid and vowed never to let anyone walk all over me. So when I think of what he did, it makes my blood boil. I was no angel either in the escalation of events but him doing that was the straw that broke the camels back. It has been 6 months and my ego/my heart/ my head/ my whole sense of identity cannot stand for someone treating me this way. I was suicidal after our breakup and NOT in a good place. I am in a better place, emotionally and conscioulsy trying to move forward, but I blame him and seek revenge.
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