Tiredness Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 My partner (m41) doesn't work, doesn't sign on, he survives off money hand outs from his parents. Oh and me. I have asked him to leave, on numerous occasions but he doesn't. He doesn't pay or contribute to any of living costs (rent bills etc) I work and my son goes to nursery. My partner stays at home and does nothing, no house work or anything. I have to have "find my friends" (a tracker service) switched on, on my phone. This is so he knows where I am. (So he can get out of bed 5 mins before I get home) He drinks every night, he doesn't get to bed until gone 5am. I'm getting to the end of my tether. He blames me for the not working and the fact he drinks every night. What options do I have to get him to leave. He isn't on my tenancy agreement. I have asked him to leave. I haven't got the money to get the locks changed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfdiva Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 My partner (m41) doesn't work, doesn't sign on, he survives off money hand outs from his parents. Oh and me. I have asked him to leave, on numerous occasions but he doesn't. He doesn't pay or contribute to any of living costs (rent bills etc) I work and my son goes to nursery. My partner stays at home and does nothing, no house work or anything. I have to have "find my friends" (a tracker service) switched on, on my phone. This is so he knows where I am. (So he can get out of bed 5 mins before I get home) He drinks every night, he doesn't get to bed until gone 5am. I'm getting to the end of my tether. He blames me for the not working and the fact he drinks every night. What options do I have to get him to leave. He isn't on my tenancy agreement. I have asked him to leave. I haven't got the money to get the locks changed. What could possibly be his argument for him blaming you for his not working? This is absurd! Can you contact the police and show them your tenancy agreement and tell them you want him gone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betterwithout Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Police sounds like the best bet, or is there a landlord that can assist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Is he a househusband? Do you have this son together? Does he stay home and watch your son? How long have you lived together? What has been your incentive to keep him there and support him? If you are serious about him leaving tell him he has 30 days to move to his parents. Then go to an attorney or court and file for an eviction. No you can't just change the locks because you are angry. At this point this is his residence. Do the right thing legally. Read up on some ways to accomplish this: He isn't on my tenancy agreement. I have asked him to leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosephase Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Installing a blot lock doesn't cost as much as changing the locks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt3939 Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Haha landlord will charge more for double occupancy. My friend dealt with something similar. He had a girl move in to his apartment. She found a man he moved in. They broke up he didn't leave. She found a new bf. Eventually he got the hint and moved out. It was the strangest thing. Search Google I did so a long time ago I can't remember if the person has any rights. You aren't the first time this has happened though. There was information. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Depends on your country / state. You can ask / threaten and cross your fingers, but it doesn't always work out. In the US, I don't think there's a single state that wouldn't consider him a resident even if he's not on the lease. If he's been living there for 30+ days, you'd have to give him a notice to vacate. After the legal amount of time you must provide them (typically 30 - 60 days), if they don't leave, you then begin court proceedings to evict them. Needless to say, it wouldn't be nearly as much of a headache if he were to be a basic good person and leave on his own, but he doesn't seem to be going for that. I'm not familiar with how Canada or the UK does it. You could contact your local sheriff's office / police department and ask for details on how you can legally proceed. Unfortunately for your situation, thanks to being able to Google your rights wherever and whenever, the days of being able to throw a guy's clothes onto the porch and change the lock and him just taking it are pretty much over. If you can provide tangible evidence of abuse, you can look into a restraining order which would expedite things pretty dramatically. But if it's just a matter of him freeloading, that'd be tough. Wishing you the best in getting rid of the deadbeat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Blaze Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 apartment or house? either way you better start the eviction process, unless he leave on his own which it doesn't look like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dahl Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Hello, Tiredness, and welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry that you are in such a miserable situation. Firstly, is there any third party that you might be able to contact to intervene on your behalf? A (non immediate family) relative, respected family friend, religious or community figure of some authority? Secondly, depending on how assertive you care to be in your approach, you can contact your local law enforcement to ask them for any suggestions, protocol to protect yourself, your child and your assets, while safeguarding yourself from any later accusations or the like by your partner of untoward actions on your part in your efforts to simply separate from him. Further, they are ostensibly the best resource to provide you with information on your options for tangible alternatives to assist you with a physical presence should you require. And this way, you check for any known pitfalls before you inadvertently walk into them, an unfair but unfortunate risk, even though you are only trying to move forward with your life for your well-being and your child's. In addition, using public services and support, as opposed to private (an attorney, for example), means that your careful consideration of your budget does not take an extra hit. I wish you the best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Almira23 Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 You can't change the locks and you force him out. If the police are called, depending on how long he has been living there, they will consider him a resident. It doesn't matter if he isn't on the lease. You have let him live there long enough to establish a residence. The only thing you can do at this point is head to court and file a notice of eviction, which will give him 30 days to move out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dahl Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Upon further reflection - are there any public legal assistance groups in your area? They're usually a wealth of information and guidance to get you to the correct agent/resource and they rarely, if ever, extract any fee for their assistance as they rarely, if ever, are able to provide direct access to practicing attorneys - and please do not let that aspect sound discouraging, as the volunteers they utilize are frequently every bit as knowledgeable and often a far sight more obliging in circumstances such as these. Best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Is all been said. You cant change the locks or force him out. You have to give him 30 days notice then file an eviction notice if he doesn't move. Anyone who stays in your home for 30 days is considered a resident. If it was only 29 days you can then kick them out. Thats the law. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 You need to cancel him off your phone service so he can't monitor your movements, or shut your phone off so he doesn't know you are coming home. You need to cancel all the luxuries, such as cable. Do not make his car payments. You need to leave no cash in the house - only bring groceries home. Do you have accounts in your name or are they joint? Whose name is the lease under? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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