TryeLove2016 Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 My ex did start contact me after 3 years with no contact at all. I wrote an letter to her for about 6 months ago, and I didn't hear anything from her, until recently. In the letter I formulated that I wanted to try one last time. When she contacted me, she said she didn't know why she wrote me, but that she wanted to be friends with me. She also mention that that I can write her at anytime I want to her. Since the weeks have passed I have notice that she never initiate contact with me, but she always replying me. Another thing is that she keeps her answers very short sometimes. She told be that she wasn't sure what to write me or that she didn't have so much to tell from her side, and that she is busy. I asked also if she wanted to meet sometime, maybe before this new year, but she told be can't cause she don't have the time. I didn't want to push or force her or anything like that. Maybe it was too early to ask if she wanted to meet? Maybe she isn't ready to meet me, but on the other hand, it has gone 3 years since we meet. I am confused what she want, she contacted me for a reason probably, but I am still do not know reason why yet. That she say we can be "friends", can mean anything I imagine, but I am not sure. Does she want me back? Why would she contact me in the first place if she doesn't want to write me, or do not want to meet me? Maybe I am too needy and annoying, I don't want to hurt her or anything, but I do care for her and I do miss her. Maybe she is afraid to ask me things, but she shouldn't be. I have maybe not be clear with that, I have just told her that she can contact whenever she want. I haven't write her anything for 22 days, and she haven't write me anything either. Should I ask her why she contact me in the first place? and should I tell her my feelings for her? Please help me guys. I really need some advice of what I should do? Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 It's wayyy over, she's done, she doesn't want you back. You need to face reality and move forward. Stop all contact and move on Link to comment
TryeLove2016 Posted January 22, 2017 Author Share Posted January 22, 2017 Why did she contact me then? Just to be friendly in some way, cause I wrote the letter? But thats immature I think, cause she would just hurt me more if she just contact with no reason at all. Link to comment
Clio Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 she said she didn't know why she wrote me, but that she wanted to be friends with me. I asked also if she wanted to meet sometime, maybe before this new year, but she told be can't cause she don't have the time. I find the title of your post very misleading. She contacted you six months after YOU contacted her first and you haven't been together for 3 years. Based on her words and actions sadly, she doesn't want you back. She just wants to be casual friends/penpals. You have your answer. If you are not ok being just friends then sadly you need to go back to no contact at all. No point in analyzing this any further. She is clearly not thinking of your feelings. It's on you to protect yourself. Link to comment
J Miracle Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 You made your intentions clear. She offered to be friends, but is not putting in any effort. Also doesnt want to meet. Sounds like this isn't leading anywhere, sorry friend. I think after several years, asking to "try one last time" is a bit jarring, unless you have remained close friends. Re establishing contact with a long lost ex is tricky, and might result better with casual and friendly conversation early on. Link to comment
TryeLove2016 Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 My ex did start contact me after 3 years with no contact at all. I wrote an letter to her for about 6 months ago, and I didn't hear anything from her, until recently. In the letter I formulated that I wanted to try one last time. When she contacted me, she said she didn't know why she wrote me, but that she wanted to be friends with me. She also mention that that I can write her at anytime I want to her. Since the weeks have passed I have notice that she never initiate contact with me, but she always replying me. Another thing is that she keeps her answers very short sometimes. She told be that she wasn't sure what to write me or that she didn't have so much to tell from her side, and that she is busy. I asked also if she wanted to meet sometime, maybe before this new year, but she told be can't cause she don't have the time. I didn't want to push or force her or anything like that. Maybe it was too early to ask if she wanted to meet? Maybe she isn't ready to meet me, but on the other hand, it has gone 3 years since we meet. I am confused what she want, she contacted me for a reason probably, but I am still do not know reason why yet. That she say we can be "friends", can mean anything I imagine, but I am not sure. Does she want me back? Why would she contact me in the first place if she doesn't want to write me, or do not want to meet me? I don't want to hurt her or anything, but I do care for her and I do miss her. Maybe she is afraid to ask me things, but she shouldn't be. I have maybe not be clear with that, I have just told her that she can contact whenever she want. I haven't write her anything for 23 days, and she haven't write me anything either. Should I ask her why she contact me in the first place? Link to comment
downright Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Ask yourself what do you want from her. From your post, I assume you still like her in someway if not you would not post this on here. Because you would probably be indifferent. Honestly, you should just stop talking to her. If she wants to meet you and managed to get the time out, then she can always contact you. Just live life and try not to contact her. Since she doesn't seem to be keen on meeting you. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Sorry to hear this. Why did you write her after years of no contact? Did you recently end another relationship? It sounds like she's trying to be nice and giving you the busy and friendzone reasons. It would be best to stay no contact and delete and block her so you can move on. She hasn't initiated contact and claims she's "too busy" to meet. Does she have a bf? I wrote an letter to her for about 6 months ago, and I didn't hear anything from her, until recently. I asked also if she wanted to meet sometime, maybe before this new year, but she told be can't cause she don't have the time. Link to comment
shiner501 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Why do people always think there are mind games at work? Things are much more simple than that. Listen up: if she was interested she would tell you. You asked her in your letter to try once last time. That was her opportunity to say YES! if she wanted to and was afraid of breaking the ice (trust me she would not have been worried about breaking the ice - women are much more direct and stronger than men give them credit for. Women are the strong sex - it is men who are weak.... ). She hasn't taken you up on your offer. That, my friend, tells you everything you need to know. Give up on this and move on with your life. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 She wants to be very casual friends. I would let this go, and move on with your life. Link to comment
TryeLove2016 Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 It's complicated. We had a long distance relationship with me before, and it didn't last. We lived total different lives and we studied at different universitets. I promise myself once I graduated to contact her, and I did, but the funny thing is that she have started on a new education program, so she is still a student. I continued to study too actually. So I guess she will be graduating in the end of this year, and hopefully I will do that too. So its the same situation as before, we both studying at universities in two different cities. So that is one of the reasons its hard to meet each other, and she have also an extra job, so she have a very busy life. However, we both will finish school soon. Maybe she hoped that I was finished with school as I hoped for her, and maybe that could be the reason she replied to me. The explanation why she contact me 6 months later, could be that she finished her thesis for her bachelor, (cause I discovered that she finished in the late 2016). I have no idea if she have a boyfriend now or if she ever did have that since me. No, I haven't any relationship since her, but I did try to meet others. I know and remember one principal she told me "To make sure the feelings should will disappear forever, it's best thing with no contact anymore", but she did break the rule by replying to me I guess. Link to comment
TryeLove2016 Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 Ask yourself what do you want from her. From your post, I assume you still like her in someway if not you would not post this on here. Because you would probably be indifferent. Honestly, you should just stop talking to her. If she wants to meet you and managed to get the time out, then she can always contact you. Just live life and try not to contact her. Since she doesn't seem to be keen on meeting you. The fact that we had a long distance relationship before could be the explanation why she don't want to meet me, cause it didn't worked out, and maybe she do not want to have that again. Apparently she still studying, and I do that too, so we are still living in different cities from each other (about 6-7 hours with transport). Maybe she hoped that I have finished school by now, like I did hope she finished too? Yeah, you are right, I should not contact her. I just live in my life and see what happens, not thinking too much about this. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Responded in your identical thread: Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I haven't write her anything for 23 days, and she haven't write me anything either. Should I ask her why she contact me in the first place? Why would you ask her why she contacted you in the first place, when it was YOU who started contacted in the first place? She hasn't written back. Let it go and move on with your life. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Threads have been merged. (Same topic). Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I think she felt pity on you and is offering you friendship. She definitely does not want to get back together. I'm sorry. Link to comment
TryeLove2016 Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 Yeah, it seems so. She said she did not want to have contact me so often, just sometimes. And that she has nothing to say to me. Link to comment
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