reinventmyself Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 You previously alluded to something else that made him unavailable as well and didn't want elaborate Link to comment
FlashEng1 Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 I had to poop so bad in the hotel room, but I couldn't go because I didn't want him hearing me grunting and making pooping noises, so he said, "Okay, I'll leave the room and go get us hot chocolate." So he left the room so I could poop. Another endearing moment…he said he found me so adorable, there is absolutely nothing I could possibly do that he would be turned off or disgusted by. I said, be careful. You haven't seen my ass after ethiopian food. It was all so very romantic. Hmm.. he went to get hot chocolate while you were off making hot chocolate... Best Date Ever. But seriously, glad things turned out the way they did! Link to comment
boltnrun Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 Anything is possible, but right now I think he is high on oxytocin and *I* am the one who is being more realistic about things (surprise.) As a hypothetical, he asked if I could imagine myself living in the city we just visited. I said not really. If it was temporary, maybe. This is sooooo new, I know better than to commit to something/someone I barely know. How well can you know someone after one week???? He is the one who has history of moving around so much, leaving a trail of failed long-distance relationships behind him. Not sure I want to attach myself to someone like that. Oh dear, another one. You're being wise not to attach yourself to another serial monogamist. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted November 11, 2016 Author Share Posted November 11, 2016 You previously alluded to something else that made him unavailable as well and didn't want elaborate I don't remember but whatever it is, it's all tied together. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 I had to poop so bad in the hotel room, but I couldn't go because I didn't want him hearing me ] Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted November 11, 2016 Author Share Posted November 11, 2016 Hmm.. he went to get hot chocolate while you were off making hot chocolate... Best Date Ever. But seriously, glad things turned out the way they did! One time, he went off to go get lemonade….. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 Glad you had fun. I vote for making this experience a fond memory. Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 Glad you had fun. I vote for making this experience a fond memory. Are you saying she should ditch him? Have you not read how close they have become?! Link to comment
journeynow Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 Naomi, I'm glad it went so well and that you've updated us. It's definitely an option to take it for what it is and enjoy it. My advice would be to not read into things I think he is falling for me. Maybe, but you don't know. I wouldn't try to guess his feelings. Let him tell you AND show you. And remember actions speak louder than words. Words are easy, in the scheme of things. He said he doesn't want to live this way anymore, been wanting roots and stability for a while now. He says that as he's got plans to uproot to a new place. Don't go into this hoping he'll actually take root and stabilize. That only becomes a factor when it is a reality for him, when he's chosen to settle down and has shown satisfaction with that lifestyle. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 Are you saying she should ditch him? Have you not read how close they have become?! I do appreciate the poop exchange. I really do. I enjoy that extraordinary privilege in my own relationship. Even so... Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted November 11, 2016 Author Share Posted November 11, 2016 Naomi, I'm glad it went so well and that you've updated us. It's definitely an option to take it for what it is and enjoy it. My advice would be to not read into things Maybe, but you don't know. I wouldn't try to guess his feelings. Let him tell you AND show you. And remember actions speak louder than words. Words are easy, in the scheme of things. He says that as he's got plans to uproot to a new place. Don't go into this hoping he'll actually take root and stabilize. That only becomes a factor when it is a reality for him, when he's chosen to settle down and has shown satisfaction with that lifestyle. Thank you, Journey!! I am trying to do exactly this. It just feels so much different than the other men I've dated. The fact that we've spent so much time together, seven days straight, and he still says he misses me, yet has not pressured me for sex, says a lot more than any type of action. But I'm also keen enough to know this is the very beginning and everyone is on their best behavior. Link to comment
Telemachus Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 This story hasn't reached its ending, nor even the last chapter. You know that it may end, because the vast majority of relationships do. However, this one has not run its course, and it's still in the memories-to-be-made category. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 Perfect, like a vignette in a beach-read novel Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted November 17, 2016 Author Share Posted November 17, 2016 Update. We have been inseparable since we returned from our trip. I'm not quite sure what's going on, but the past two weeks have been incredibly romantic and adventurous. The days I work from home, he comes over and works with me. The days I work away, I go to his house after the workday, and he has dinner ready for me. We will spend the night together, wake up in the morning, hop on his motorcycle and go to a cafe and work on our laptops, sending the dirtiest texts every 20 mins, each one trying to out-do the last, while maintaining a poker face never once looking at each other. He's taken me on nighttime kayak rides. I didn't even have to paddle once, thank god, but sat there in that slimy hole sipping hot chocolate while he paddled us around in the moonlight. I've met his friends and we have plans to spend Thanksgiving together. He is still traveling throughout this time but texting and updating our calendars so we don't miss a moment together. There's so much intimacy, scary almost, but I'm not running from it rather embracing it. My favorite moments are when he talks about our little road trip, the impact it had on him, and how grateful he is I trusted him enough to come along, and how different things are from just two weeks ago. I am trying not to think about what's going to happen at the end of five months. Link to comment
WithLove Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 I think you'd better think about it soon, Naomi. 5 months is not such a long time. Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Why? What's happening in 5 months? Link to comment
journeynow Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Enjoy life, Naomi. I don't think it is necessarily a problem to enjoy the moment and tell yourself "This is for now" without expectation that it will always be like this or that it means anything in particular. It might or might not be hard when he leaves, who knows. You might enjoy all this now AND set up something supportive for you solo, a recovery plan (because this level of focus and attention can be kind of addictive). Have a plan B, perhaps, for if YOU need it. (People to call, activities to switch focus to, new projects, increased self-care.) Just a thought. (From experience.) Link to comment
Jibralta Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 I didn't even have to paddle once, thank god, but sat there in that slimy hole sipping hot chocolate while he paddled us around in the moonlight. Ha! I am trying not to think about what's going to happen at the end of five months. I'd like to tell you to turn tail and run, but it sounds like you're caught. I'd probably be caught, too. It would suck either way, parting now or parting later. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 It all sounds wonderful, actually. Now, if you can keep it real and not go into an emotional tail spin when he leaves, I say carry on. After all, there is a wall with new paper on it that will miss you terribly if you move away with him. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 JN has a great suggestion! Plan a girls only trip with friends 5 months from now. Make sure you keep your friends close. You will need and want them no matter what and they will hold you accountable in a way he won't, making you grow and reminding you that you are loved. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted November 18, 2016 Author Share Posted November 18, 2016 He told me he wants to see how things progress with the two of us, and if they get to a point where we have to be with each other, he's open to the idea of me moving with him or taking the job three hours away so we could be close. Right now he's in another part of the country and has already phoned twice and said he missed me. I couldn't bring myself to say it back because I don't really miss him yet. I just saw him last night. Man, I think the oxytocin is clouding his judgment. Link to comment
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