jeromemh Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I'm 23 I have a daughter with my ex, she's 21, I dauther is 2, we've been dating for 4yrs and living together for 2. Iv been trying to get her back. Way to desoretly but I really want her back , coming to the end of it she started seeing another man, she left the house I night I heard her in the room talking to him n moved out one month later that's her new boyfriend, I feel destroyed and very angry n sad inside. I don't know what to do and am going crazy, how could she do this to me of all people. Iv been through so much with her n she treats me like .. I want to cut off all communication with her unless it strictly about our child but even that I feel is hard I call her multiple times to get her to pick up . I just want absolutely no contact with her arrange a time where I can have my daughter and that's it, have her go through someone else so we don't see each other at all, change my number and really resist any contact. I don't know tho. I'm really hear and really. She is moving on so quickly and not even giving us a chance to work. Even feel like she is trying to replace me as the father by having this guy meet my dauther after knowing him only a montg and saying she only did it cause that's what comes along with her.. I'm very upset n sad n depressed I need help Link to comment
jeromemh Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 I'm feeling really bad and hear from someone would really help.. Link to comment
lancelot873 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 focus on your daughter, she is more important than the ex. honestly, be the best dad and you will feel better in no time. don't cut off contact but don't initiate either. just focus on you moving forward, supporting yourself and everything will fall in place. Link to comment
gp11a Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Have you gone to an attorney to sort out custody details and get advice? You need to make sure you are protected here. The way she split is not mature and it says a lot about her character. I know you weren't married (thank goodness), but your daughter should be the focus for both of you guys and she should not be causing issues when you are just trying to see your daughter. Link to comment
jeromemh Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 I thank u for both you and gp11a for your responses, this is an reply to the both of you. I am a great dad, I have my daughter right now. I haven't called an attorney yet but I definitely am going to be looking up some lawyer number and what not today and how this all would work out if it has to go to court. I told her yesterday I want 1 week our daughter is with me then 1 week with you, she said no she wants 3days here then 4 days there. Them switch and repeat. I will not be going with that cause it just sounds like bull my 1 week here then 1 week there repeat is so much simpler, equal, and fair for the both of us with time spent with our child Link to comment
jeromemh Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 This reply is for both you and lancelot873 same with the comment above^. Now regarding her what should I do.. I feel stupid asking cause I feel like I already know what I should, how she's been acting, how she's treated me, after all the I did for the b**** is so fu**ed up. I have allot of love still here and want to make it work but I have allot of anger, and clearity here and don't. I don't want to be nice, civil, good to her or nothing. I deserved so much more than I got why should she get anything more than just f***ing bad from me?... Link to comment
jeromemh Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 I'm 23 & she's 21, we have a 2 yr old daughter and have been together 4yrs, & living together for the last two of them. I'd appreciate it when getting comments back if it could do more so about my ex n not our kid. I'm a great father and I know my daughter comes #1, I've already looked up child custody etc. My ex left me 2months ago it was after a big incident had happen but she didn't choos to leave until a month after the incident happened.when she left she was talking to some guy, a month later this is her new boyfriend, he is using his credit n co signing to help her get an apartment she says he not gonna live there but obviously he is seeing how she don't make enough money, but ya. He's buying her all these stuff for her as well and she seems easily bought over right now.when leaving she didn't try to talk to me or, save or better our relationship, just pretty much walked out and a vast majority of her belongings behind. Using my place as storage until she finds a place to move into. I have allot of hate towards her now but I still want to make it work, it's I guess but I honestly would take her back if she came back to me right now... I try to not talk to her but I call her like almost everyday, where all each other had for a long time. I've tried what I feel is everything reasonable n healthy to get her back but nothing has worked. I feel really sad, angry, hurt, down etc on the inside. I don't know tho.. Any suggestions on what I should do??? Link to comment
jeromemh Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 I got into a car crash with her car but I already replaced it n got her a new one Link to comment
jeromemh Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 And I had a condom in my pocket when she was gonna wash th blood of my pants when I got home. Honestly tho I never had sex I just through the condom in my pocket b4 I left because I was mad. When the accident happened I was on my way back home to her Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Why did you have that in your pocket? Link to comment
jeromemh Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 We had a bad day I left saying it I'm gonna go to my cousins bday thing and find a girl, why out I had a good time and I had chance that I didn't take and even choose to leave early to come home. I know it's bad that I took it with me in the first place but I didn't even try to get into anything when I was even out Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 And I had a condom in my pocket when she was gonna wash th blood of my pants when I got home. Honestly tho I never had sex I just through the condom in my pocket b4 I left because I was mad. When the accident happened I was on my way back home to her Lesson to learn. Don't do stupid things when you are mad. Link to comment
faraday Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 It sounds like a pretty dysfunctional relationship, tbh. It might be for the best that you guys have split- hopefully you can both mature and have a good coparenting relationship for your daughter. A few years ago my parents got into a mega fight that lasted 6 months. When I'd go to their house to visit, I'd visit my dad in the basement, and mom in the kitchen- they completely avoided each other. It was awful. I asked my dad, "so...do you think you'll get divorced?" And he replied, "you never say the "D" word. Ever. You never say it out loud unless it's the end and it's happening...because when you make threats, it deteriorates the relationship." He said a lot of other very insightful things that day, but they don't pertain to this so I'll leave them out. Anyway, the point is...you NEVER EVER threaten to cheat on your partner. You never threaten to leave. Unless it's over. It kills the relationship, it destroys trust...it's something that is forbidden in a healthy relationship. You can't take back some things...and threatening to cheat...leave...are things you can't take back. They haunt you forever. So think on that. Think about the kind of relationship that you want to have. One where when you fight...you work together to find a solution. Where even when you're so mad that you hate the other person, you know it's temporary and that you really do love them, and you will do everything possible to protect what you have together. Link to comment
jeromemh Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 I hear what your saying, I made a mistake by leaving the house with them but I think she took it to far, she didn't try to work nothing out with me, didn't try to sit down n talk or nothing just went on pof found some dumb ass guy willing to put his credit on the line and throw allot of his broke ass money at her. Month after knowing him that's her be now . N for the past to 2 months I spent trying to get her back to get on, told how great he is N what they do.. All I feel to do now is be an spiteful when it comes to her cause I didn't deserve this, after all the things I did for this bit** I didn't deserve what I got out at the end Link to comment
faraday Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Dude, you threatened to cheat on her. So she left. I wouldn't try to work on anything with a man that told me he was going to go out and find someone else. I can see how she would be mad and spiteful and go find someone else herself. I'm not saying I agree with what she's done- I don't think it's healthy to financially rely on someone you've just met- she's not setting herself up a good relationship with this new guy...and if she was on here asking for advice, I'd tell her that. But I'd also tell her to run from a man that threatens to cheat. I'd tell her never to look back. But she's not here- you are. So all I can say is...this is the natural consequence of threatening to cheat. And yeah, you did deserve to be dumped. So...don't do that again. Sorry I know it's probably not what you want to hear. Link to comment
Longview01 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I wouldn't be too keen on my daughter meeting a man that she had only known for a month either, he could be anybody Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Threads have been merged. Link to comment
jeromemh Posted October 31, 2016 Author Share Posted October 31, 2016 I take it your a female? I understand where your coming from but the fact that I didn't do anything at all and had a brief I'm going step out moment that I didn't follow through the on is something I can't come back from? & you agree with her leaving can u give me some ideals or something on how to get her back? Tho I know your on the side of ya it was right to leave can you please share some tips, advice or something on how I could get her back? Link to comment
Quidam Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Trust is everything seriously you fudge up Time to learn from it act like a man and walk out on it. This is your best odds that maybe just maybe she sees in the gesture you're somewhat decent and chooses to come back. You have no cards to play here Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 You can't "get" someone like you'd get a new video game or a pair of Jordans. She knows you want her back thanks to the badgering you've been doing. If she decides to leave the guy she is currently involved with and come back to you...it would have to be her choice and not the result of any shenanigans you try. Link to comment
jeromemh Posted October 31, 2016 Author Share Posted October 31, 2016 You have anything like specific I could do cause right now I'm at the stage where I'm giving up on getting her back tho I don't want to. Choosing to go through other people for our kid so we don't have to speak at all or see each other. Ya I fudged up but how she handled everything after making it seem like she forgive me then on the low low talking to someone else n going on dates while still with me behind my back Link to comment
jeromemh Posted October 31, 2016 Author Share Posted October 31, 2016 So doing nothing is the best something I can do?.. Link to comment
Quidam Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 You don't control the outcome of this one... Link to comment
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