Anyone Ever Deal With A Person with Bipolar?

[SooSad33]

I have been contemplating over posting this for weeks now, trying my hardest to actually wrap my head around my encounter and understand this illness....I've been reading up on bipolar to try and understand the best I can. Very interesting yet overwhelming. ( most often relationships fail with these people). And they often dont have many friends and causes strain on the family.

 

It was short lived.. less than 2 months. One before me was less than 3 mos.

We both picked up on his odd behaviour. And he seemed to show hostility, some issue's re: family. More bitterness and cold hearted. he lied often and manipulates, his ex stated.

 

He has been in psych ward in last 3 months ( and wasn't the first time).. for negative outburst towards his father .. which he said had abused him as a child.

he has quite a colourful past.. towards someone of which he was involved with, which caused the family to be physical at him! And did damage towards his childs pet during a freak out

This guy is over 45 now.

 

I heard he has numerous meltdowns... he does smoke weed. Has recently gone from about 50 'friends' on his fb ( which he denied having.. to actually have 2 accounts) to over 150... adding on friends of friends.. and anyone he can find.. so odd?! ...... on it goes.

 

I picked up on his hostility and odd behaviour within a month and started backing away. I found him overwhelming like i was brought into his whirlwind. Was not a nice encounter at all

In ways I feel bad for him.. in ways angry that he brought me into it and used me..... (rebound-like).

 

 

I would like to ask.. has anyone encountered someone like this?

 

I ask:

 

How often did you find their moods change?

How long did your relationship last? And was it YOU who walked?

Just your own experience would help me out.

[Seraphim]

Well, I wouldn't call them "a bipolar". But a person with bipolar. My dad is bipolar 1. So he is quite severe. But I believe there are around five different severities of bipolar.

 

I have never dated anyone with bipolar disorder but as I said my father is. He was very extremely difficult to deal with because he would never take his medication for any more than a few months and he still the same at 71. He was diagnosed the year I was born and I'm due to be 50 years old this year and he is still exactly the same still doing exactly what the doctor tells him not to do. Now of course I can't speak for every bipolar person because people are not cookie-cutter people. I can only speak of my experience with one bipolar person. When my dad was young he would have episodes where he would spend months in bed and do nothing but go to bed ,not work ,not barely eat nothing just stay in bed. And then he would have manic episodes where he would think he was Superman and could do anything. He was quite dangerous when he was manic though. If my mom said anything that he took as an offence she could get punched in the face. So he could be very deeply depressed for months and then crazy manic for months. Sometimes he could cycle within a day. I remember we were all laughing all of us including him about an ex-girlfriend that he had when we were younger he went upstairs and then all of a sudden the Christmas decorations came flying down the stairs and he was screaming at us. We could never count on anything and therefore never brought any friends home, ever. He could be very extremely socially inappropriate in public and at home.

 

I love my dad I really do but I hate him as well. And I hate to say it but due to my experience of having a bipolar parent I would never date someone with bipolar disorder ,ever. I would never be able to control my own anger if I did that. But understand this is completely my own bias. There are many many wonderful bipolar people.

[SooSad33]

Yes, was talking with my mom about how some ca be so kind. Just very hard going thru this experience.

I dont recall EVER hearing someone go on with such bitterness about everyone (family). From his daughters to his Ex.. to his parents.

 

It is in ways sad.. but yet, IF they can ever come to realize, accept & work on things.. they can be half normal again, where their outbursts, etc wouldnt be so severe.

[Seraphim]

Understand that being bipolar is a chemical imbalance it's not a personality disorder. So medication corrects the chemical imbalance. But of course therapy helps with other extenuating circumstances. My dad was also severely abused as a kid so I'm positive that made his situation far worse. And also my father was diagnosed in the 60s so that makes it a wholly different time period with far fewer treatment options.

 

But I will say being abused makes any kind of mental illness extremely worse.

[SooSad33]

Yes, very true! I had neglect then abuse until about age 6... so it's been rough.

Ended up in depression come my teens and I';ve had years of therapy, etc. But.. I've worked on ME and have continued to do so. Never have I or would I abuse my kids or anyone else...

 

So sad..in ways. BUT THEY NEED TO SEE THEY DO NEED HELP.

[Hermes]

SoSad:

 

Here we have the heart of the matter:

 

"In ways I feel bad for him.. in ways angry that he brought me into it and used me..... (rebound-like).

"

 

and

 

he has quite a colourful past.. towards someone of which he was involved with, which caused the family to be physical at him! And did damage towards his childs pet during a freak out

 

Lovely!

 

Forget it, SoSad. Just avoid.

[SooSad33]

Yes, I have. it's been about a month now. But I have been deeply searching things up about it. Trying to understand how they work.

[Hermes]

Look, SoSad. Unless you are considering a career in psychology, my advice would be not to go to deeply into that stuff.

Even after years of study and qualifications mental illness is still a twilight area. One psychiatrist put it well: psychiatry is like searching in a dark room, blindfolded, for a black cat that isn't there.

You get the picture!

[reinventmyself]

I met a man who's wife is bipolar. She refuses treatment and prefers to live in her mostly high manic state. She feels invisible.

 

She sleeps on friends couches and lives in her car. She rarely sees her young adult children, choosing to spent her life with shady characters that accept her behavior and take advantage of her hypersexuality.

 

This family lost the family business and the husband moved from the town they raised their family in and was starting over again. 5 years later he's still seperated as he can't divorce her if he can't pin her down.

 

It's such a devastating story.

 

Another friend's older sister has been institutionalized for most of her adult life.

[Seraphim]

I met a man who's wife is bipolar. She refuses treatment and prefers to live in her mostly high manic state. She feels invisible.

 

She sleeps on friends couches and lives in her car. She rarely sees her young adult children, choosing to spent her life with shady characters that accept her behavior and take advantage of her hypersexuality.

 

This family lost the family business and the husband moved from the town they raised their family in and was starting over again. 5 years later he's still seperated as he can't divorce her if he can't pin her down.

 

It's such a devastating story.

 

Another friend's older sister has been institutionalized for most of her adult life.

Unfortunately sounds a lot like my father . He cheated on my mother with at least over 100 people . He has been in the psych ward over 200 times .

 

Actually I don't even really want to talk about it, it makes me very angry . The things I had to live through ,my mother my brother and even the things that my dad has had to live through . He has been roughed up by police for nothing more than being mentally ill which they could not recognize . Which is absolutely unfair .

 

And my father and his family are the only reason I have any mental illness it all . Because of them I have PTSD .

[SooSad33]

Yes, seems it can happen that they end up there.. a few times. Sure is complicated.

[limichelle]

I'm mainly schizo effective then bipolar, I have bipolar traits. The difference with me with the Scizo effective is hallucinations, and severe depression, rarely manic. I'm a stickler for taking my medication so I'm very stable. Bipolar people tend to cone off the medication more frequently. I'm more predictable with my moods, with bipolar very unpredictable!

 

I don't mind being more schizo effective then bipolar because as instability goes bipolar people have it worse remaining stable. Plus they enjoy harassing those with schizophrenia in mental hospitals which is uncool!

 

Also in mental hospitals they tend to frequent the sedation room more with violent outbursts.

 

Lisa

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately this means he is out of control. Perhaps because of using street drugs and very often in the manic phase they believe they are fine and go off all the meds.

He has been in psych ward in last 3 months ( and wasn't the first time).

[Seraphim]

Unfortunately this means he is out of control. Perhaps because of using street drugs and very often in the manic phase they believe they are fine and go off all the meds.

 

Absolutely when my father was in his manic phase he believed he was perfectly fine never needed medication and all bets were off there . He was very dangerous in his manic phase .

[rosephase]

Just as some input from the other side: I have a very close friend who is bipolar. She is married, has a house and a lovely three year old. She works as a nanny and has a really lovely and bounded group of friends. About every 7 years or so she has to do some work adjusting her medication and will go through some mania and depression. She also had a bit of a rough transition getting back on her meds after her kid was born. She is smart, honest, hard working and kind. She builds strong relationships and can communicate very clearly her own wants, needs and expectations. She is an amazing person that I am super grateful to have in my life. She had to work hard to find balance and to be able to understand her own reactions and feelings... but because of all that hard work she is very good at clearly expressing herself.

[Seraphim]

Just as some input from the other side: I have a very close friend who is bipolar. She is married, has a house and a lovely three year old. She works as a nanny and has a really lovely and bounded group of friends. About every 7 years or so she has to do some work adjusting her medication and will go through some mania and depression. She also had a bit of a rough transition getting back on her meds after her kid was born. She is smart, honest, hard working and kind. She builds strong relationships and can communicate very clearly her own wants, needs and expectations. She is an amazing person that I am super grateful to have in my life. She had to work hard to find balance and to be able to understand her own reactions and feelings... but because of all that hard work she is very good at clearly expressing herself.

 

Thank you for offering an alternate view . Mine has been so dark . As I said there are wonderful bipolar people out there . I think one difference with my dad is that he was very abused as a kid .

[SooSad33]

Thank you for offering an alternate view . Mine has been so dark . As I said there are wonderful bipolar people out there . I think one difference with my dad is that he was very abused as a kid .

 

Yes.. and often that leads to this... depression.. bipolar.. the moods.. the anger outbursts etc.

At first I thought he was just going thru mid life crisis. I found him quite irritable & bitter It all really affected me emotionally.

Then to learn soon after, that another Ex had encountered it all too.. said she was emotionally spent too and he was good for his meltdowns.

[Seraphim]

In my dad's family bipolar is hereditary . Him and everyone of his siblings has a mood disorder.

[pippy longstocking]

I found this very hard to read so I stopped ... so sad we know each other on here , we , I like to think are ena friends , but I feel like I belong to this horrible club that

everyone should avoid .

 

It is in ways sad.. but yet, IF they can ever come to realize, accept & work on things.. they can be half normal again, where their outbursts, etc wouldnt be so severe.

 

who the hell are you to say WE even want to be half normal !!!! I started out wanting to give you advice but I have just realised I can't , and as I like you I will walk away .

[Seraphim]

I found this very hard to read so I stopped ... so sad we know each other on here , we , I like to think are ena friends , but I feel like I belong to this horrible club that

everyone should avoid .

 

 

who the hell are you to say WE even want to be half normal !!!! I started out wanting to give you advice but I have just realised I can't , and as I like you I will walk away .

 

Sweetheart, I love you. I just have issues with my dad. Issues that may take my whole life to fix.

[pippy longstocking]

couldn't you have titled it * A person with bi polar ....we arn't a category

[pippy longstocking]

Sweetheart, I love you. I just have issues with my dad. Issues that may take my whole life to fix.

 

I know vic , everything I read you worded honestly and beautifully ...and I know how bad your dad is xx I love you too xxx

[Seraphim]

I know vic , everything I read you worded honestly and beautifully ...and I know how bad your dad is xx I love you too xxx

 

I can't condemn others for his issues. One can not help how they are born. I just have issue with his actions.

[pippy longstocking]

I am going to log out because I think so sad has the right to talk to you about all of this without me here . It has obviously rattled me , but I do think you talking to her will help and for that reason I need to mind my own business ......xx

[Seraphim]

I am going to log out because I think so sad has the right to talk to you about all of this without me here . It has obviously rattled me , but I do think you talking to her will help and for that reason I need to mind my own business ......xx

 

Try not take it personal love but yes the title needs fixing for sure.