Leave or stay?

[Coleworldx]

I've been with my partner for 11 months now and at the beginning it was great. Regular date nights got along well with no issues.

Recently his behaviours become more and more possessive and paranoid and I have to live two lives and not tell my friends were still together cause they hate how he breaks me down when we argue

I took his daughter on like my own and he's becoming more and more clingy. If I go out he's always questioning me and he doesn't like me liking pics of guys FACE on Facebook even tho he likes pictures of girls faces and bodies on Instagram. I don't have him on my Facebook or Instagram anymore because he always has something to come at me for. I drive and he doesn't but I've pushed him to pass his theory and his driving test is soon.

When were good were great and happy but when it's bad it's awful.

One time he kept cursing n arguing with me so I blocked him off everything. He messaged my work colleague saying " tell her I've took my stuff and she's lying cheating scum" I've never ever cheated he's insecure and I only fight to make things work because when we're gd it's the man I love and I love his family and daughter like my own but I'm slowly starting to wonder if he's even worth it anymore. My family don't like him anymore because of how he treats me sometimes aswell. I feel I already know the answer but my heart constantly rules my head and it's annoying.

[Clinton]

Leave. Like you said, you already know the answer.

[Coleworldx]

Do you believe it's easier said than done? Or I just need to get a grip

[Starseed98]

Until your heart and head are on the same page, this confusion will persist.

 

These are issues that only he can address because they are HIS issues and not yours.

 

If someone called me lying cheating scum, I would not hesitate to kick them out of my life for good.

[Clinton]

Leavings never easy in my experience. But you have to do what's healthy for you.

[Coleworldx]

I know. Thanks all

His excuse for his words is that he's " angry" and I " always leave"

I leave because I can't cope with the drama not because I want anyone else!

[DancingFool]

I think you know that you can do better than an insecure, emotionally abusive control freak that you are fighting with constantly. The stress and damage from that is a pretty high price to pay for a few good times, don't you think?

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this is way too much too soon especially with his daughter, that indicates severely poor boundaries. They are his family, not yours.

 

Staying with him despite concerns/warning from family/friends is a huge red flag. Run, end it, go no contact and google: warning signs of abusive relationships.

 

Every toxic/abusive relationship has this tagline 6599259]When were good were great and happy but when it's bad it's awful.

[Gary Snyder]

I think you know that you can do better than an insecure, emotionally abusive control freak that you are fighting with constantly. The stress and damage from that is a pretty high price to pay for a few good times, don't you think?

 

 

- Bingo. What you have here is the garden variety bad boy, also known as a control freak. The really bad ones, when they go off the deep end, become wife beaters or worse.

 

It's going to take some tough love to fix him, or you you might have to leave him. Counseling would be good, but control freaks are the last ones to go...... in their opinion, it's their way or the highway, the world revolves around them.

 

The other thing you could do..... if you have the guts...... is cut off sex. When he asks "what's wrong?", only then will he be ready to truly listen and change.

 

Or, you could do a temporary separation.

 

What does he do for a living?

[DancingFool]

"I have to live two lives and not tell my friends were still together cause they hate how he breaks me down when we argue"

 

^ if that is not your clue to dump him yesterday and run away screaming then I don't know what can be......

 

You are NEVER going to teach, fix, or train a grown man into being something other than what he is. Only he can do it and I can assure you that insecure paranoid abusers do not think they are in the wrong or that they need fixing. It's your fault they are angry, it's your behavior that makes them paranoid, it's you you you in their mind and they NEED to beat you down to feel better about themselves.

 

 

The other factor to consider is that those who are so paranoid about what you might be doing are likely paranoid because they don't want you doing to them what they are doing to you. It's a case of the best defense is a really good offense. While you are busy defending yourself and trying to prove that you'd never cheat, you have no time to take a closer look at what he is doing behind your back.

[Coleworldx]

I know I know no relationship is perfect but no relationship should be like this either

[Coleworldx]

- Bingo. What you have here is the garden variety bad boy, also known as a control freak. The really bad ones, when they go off the deep end, become wife beaters or worse.

 

It's going to take some tough love to fix him, or you you might have to leave him. Counseling would be good, but control freaks are the last ones to go...... in their opinion, it's their way or the highway, the world revolves around them.

 

The other thing you could do..... if you have the guts...... is cut off sex. When he asks "what's wrong?", only then will he be ready to truly listen and change.

 

Or, you could do a temporary separation.

 

What does he do for a living?

He works in a car garage I work for an insurance company I have my own car n live alone.. Maybe I really am bigger n better than this..

He always turns it on me when I know deep down I'm

A very good girl I'm not perfect ! But I'm a good ing girl

[melancholy123]

You know the answer to this problem, you dont actually need to ask any one. Get the hell out of there asap.

[Coleworldx]

I've left him now