The end...I now understand

[Jibralta]

This is by far the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I hate feeling angry. But--I think it's unhealthy to deny myself the chance to complete the grieving process....I guess it's part of it. For the first time in my life I'm allowing myself to feel, act out or do whatever I need to do to get over this.

 

"if you're going through hell, keep going"

~Winston Churchill (according to the internet)

 

Have I already posted that quote on this thread? No matter. It applies.

 

Keep pushing forward, gigiselle. It's the only way through.

[lostandhurt]

Keep posting it will help.

 

Yes this is hard and many of us have been where you are now. The key right now is to get yourself healthy for yourself and no one else. Not wanting to eat and having trouble sleeping are all perfectly normal so don't worry about that, it will come in time. Your illness is also very common as stress weakens our immune system making it easier for the illness to attack and linger.

 

Be candid with your doctors and don't leave anything out. Your therapist will more than likely recommend some mild meds to help you through all this. I myself took something and it did help smooth out the high and lows and I am not a pill guy in the least. Lexapro or it's generic works well but takes a few weeks to build up in your system to show signs of helping. Ask about it.

 

You need to realize that you are about to engage in a fight and need to get healthy for that fight. He rushed into settlement because he knew you were weak and confused and wanted to take advantage of you once again. Be patient, be smart and take the high road through all this.

 

Lost

[gigiselle]

I'm feeling better physically. Wow--that makes a huge difference. I hope there's no fight. I hope to gain access to all records and be able to to feel it's all ok. So far he's willing to share 50/50 on all assets...duh!!! He has no choice on this...!! The court will agree to this ....we've been together 24 years!!! It's not generous on his part. We're stuck on the length of alimony. I don't want to be unfair....but--he has incredible bonuses and raises...and I'm having to start over....after a grey marriage.

[Wiseman2]

Yes that's your lawyers job to subpoena all that stuff and make your case for your best outcome now and down the road. Don't listen to his drivel or say anything about stuff to him, always go through your attorney. You are on opposite sites of the aisle now.

I hope to gain access to all records and be able to to feel it's all ok. So far he's willing to share 50/50 on all assets...duh!!!

[Janb]

Gigiselle, I'm glad you are feeling better. Twenty four years is a long time to be with one person and have them walk away from what you shared. Do either of you have an alternate place to stay during the process? It would certainly be easier on you. Had he not had anther place to go, he'd probably be feeing just as miserable. Even if its for a few days maybe you could stay somewhere else or ask him to move out pending the divorce process?

[gigiselle]

Gigiselle, I'm glad you are feeling better. Twenty four years is a long time to be with one person and have them walk away from what you shared. Do either of you have an alternate place to stay during the process? It would certainly be easier on you. Had he not had anther place to go, he'd probably be feeing just as miserable. Even if its for a few days maybe you could stay somewhere else or ask him to move out pending the divorce process?

 

So....I guess my progress has been slow. I do feel better physically. Today I feel totally pissed!!! I guess that means I'm in my second stage of the grieving process... and that's a good thing....maybe. I feel anger.....like I've never felt before in my entire life. I sat in my driveway for an hour before coming in my house because I thought otherwise I'd do something stupid. I want for him to hurt as bad as I'm hurting...of course that's not possible because he doesn't care.....it sucks...

[Wiseman2]

has he moved out yet? Can your attorney help with that. Doesn't it suck walking into a place where he still is?

I sat in my driveway for an hour before coming in my house because I thought otherwise I'd do something stupid..