How should I handle this Negative situation?

[WoundedRose90]

About 6 months ago my Ex broke up with me and left me 7 weeks Pregnant. We had just gotten a marriage license and were planning to get married once he returned from a temporary job. At 9 weeks pregnant , with my wedding dress in one hand, I get a call that from him and he explained that he is single now and that he might think about getting back together later. ...

 

I am just now getting around to living a normal life, after suffering a Nervous break down. I found out my ex had started another relationship as soon as he left me, and was trying to impregnate his new girlfriend. I reached out to her and told her what he had done, including giving me a STD at the beginning of my pregnancy. All she wanted to know is if it could be cured?

 

I layed in bed crying day and night for months..it was the most traumatic experience of my life. He was very callus and unsympathetic. Over the months he would reach out sporadically to remind me that he did not want me, but wanted to invite his girlfriend along to my doctor appointments. He really went out of His way to hurt and break me down.

 

 

Fast forward, he has ignored me since January. He returned from the temp job and has not said a word to me. He walks pass my apartment all the time, sees me on the street from afar and says nothing. Now I am due next month, and he decided to reach out to my mother by way of Facebook and told my mother to have me contact him. I blocked him on Facebook and changed my phone number months ago, to keep from losing my mind. He told my Mother that I should be reaching out to him and keeping contact with him, and that I am being immature, after disregarding me for months. Now he has the nerve to cowardly inbox my mom by way of Facebook and demand I contact him, when he knows exactly where I live.

 

I am still on anti depressants, since this whole situation began, he caused me a lot of distress and anxiety. I went from being a soon to be Bride, to being dumped with no explanation at all. He even accused me of wanting to abort the baby, which was NEVER the case! He did everything he possibly could to get me to abort/lose the baby. But now that he see's that it didn't work..he wants to be involved in the baby's life and play "Dad".

 

What should I do in this situation??? How should I handle this individual? Please help me.....

[km2]

It sounds like you need to keep this person out of your life.

 

You have done so much hard work to get to a place where you are able to look after yourself, and it seems like he is not respecting you or what you need, particularly if what you say about him trying to hurt you and break you down is true.

 

If he did want to get back together, is that really what you want? What has changed over the last few months that would make your relationship work when it didn't before?

 

However, I understand that having a baby together makes things quite complicated, particularly if he wants to play a part in his child's life.. I don't have kids so hopefully someone more experienced in that area can give you advice on that!

 

Be kind to yourself.

[Wiseman2]

Get support from your family, friends, social services wherever you can. As soon as the child is born go to court and get child support.

About 6 months ago my Ex broke up with me and left me. At 9 weeks pregnant I get a call that from him and he explained that he is single now and that he might think about getting back together later. I found out my ex had started another relationship as soon as he left me.He walks pass my apartment all the time, sees me on the street from afar and says nothing. Now I am due next month, and he decided to reach out to my mother by way of Facebook and told my mother to have me contact him. But now that he see's that it didn't work..he wants to be involved in the baby's life and play "Dad". What should I do in this situation?

[Hermes]

Rose. Surely there must have been some sign from the outset that this was a very unstable individual.

 

"Over the months he would reach out sporadically to remind me that he did not want me, but wanted to invite his girlfriend along to my doctor appointments. He really went out of His way to hurt and break me down."

 

Very vindictive.

[melancholy123]

Be glad you never married him.

[WoundedRose90]

I really wish that I could say that there were signs, but there were none. He was the perfect gentleman and was very nurturing with my daughter, which is what helped me decide to Marry him. He was more excited about the baby then I was. That's what is so devastating about it all, is that he did a complete 360 on me, as soon as he took this "temporary job". He never took the Job, he lied to get away from me. He wore a Mask, and fooled my entire family. Even my Mother is enraged because she says he fooled her too! He left me on my sick bed with a high risk pregnancy, and told me to depend on family to help me along. Mind you this was 3 weeks after we went to the courthouse and got a marriage license. Then he started a new relationship out of nowhere , and wanted his new girlfriend apart of my Pregnancy, including the prenatal visits. I could understand if we had broken up and simply could not get along with each other. But when he left we were Fine, no problems at all. Then his girlfriend tells me that they were trying for a baby, while I was back at home sick as a dog carrying his. Now he wants to come around after disregarding me for months, and demand that he be involved in the birthing and child's life. It's a total mind screw to have to endure!!

[Hermes]

It is unfortunate that you encountered the "Mask of Sanity".

 

Idealization abruptly following by devalue and discard. And the cycle recommences.

 

"someone who displays at least three of seven distinguishing characteristics, such as deceitfulness, impulsivity and a lack of remorse. Such people often have a superficial charm, which they exercise ruthlessly in order to get what they want."

 

Get this book:

 

The Sociopath next Door, by Martha Stout

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately you need to move on and worry about the upcoming child. Get support from your family. He is entitled to visitation eventually, should he apply for it and the child is entitled to child support, which you need to petition the courts for.

He never took the Job, he lied to get away from me. Then he started a new relationship.Now he wants to come around and demand that he be involved in the birthing and child's life.

[catfeeder]

I'd stop dealing with him. I'd contact legal services for good advice and let my lawyer deal with him.