Operation Finding Girlfriend

[TheSpoon2Big]

Thanks to both of you! I should be/have been feeling pretty ecstatic over this whole ordeal, since I haven’t gotten on “girlfriend” status with anyone I’ve tried dating in this whole “Operation Finding Girlfriend”, so that’s good!

 

I agree Flash 100%, it never fun being the one who is move involved/more in love. I kinda felt like that with my last ex long term relationship at first, and it took about 2-3 months for me to feel like she liked me at all. I am unfortunately highly sensitive to that, and I know it’s a personal problem I need to work on, but I do sort of need some kind of reassurance initially to feel like the girl is equally as interested. Especially if we are on “gf/bf” status at that point.

 

You’re right gp, it’s good she has the more logical side of this relationship in telling me to be patient and to have things go slow. However, I’m a little puzzled as to why we have slept together (had sex) multiple times, but she still won’t have an actual “sleepover”, if you will. She won’t let me sleep at her place. We went over that last night on the phone actually… she said she just wants to move slow. The last guy she dated for 2 months slept over though. And despite her telling me all these things she didn’t like about him and how horrible those 2 months were, I asked her why she continued and what attracted her to him. She said, well, he had a nice body. And she previously mentioned that his $300k/yr income was appealing. So that’s cool……..

 

Anyways, it’s Tuesday, her school is over! She kept telling me over and over to just wait until Tuesday, and we’d be able to hang out again finally. We had plans tonight to hang out, tomorrow night to meet her sister/bro-in-law, Thurs night some sort of volleyball coworker thing of hers I’m invited to, Fri night date I set with her a week + ago, etc.

 

However, like I said, it’s Tuesday finally, and now she says she is too tired to hang out basically. I sent all kinds of cute texts and said sweet things and included emojis and she doesn’t reply equally or like she cares that much. I told her I was really looking forward to seeing her but can understand if she’s tired. However, her general lack of mutual exchange of disappointment or telling me anything sweet and/or reassuring is not comforting.

 

I don’t know how I feel about her right now… I keep thinking about how she was attracted to a guy with a nice body and made a ton of $ (shallow?) and how she pretty much pushes me away when I try to get close, delays/postpones hangouts/dates, and rarely is the first to reach out to me i.e. early morning/daily text opening, or phone-call-before-bed-chat at night.

[TheSpoon2Big]

Me I mean I'll be honest I was really looking forward to seeing you today finally with school out of the way but i understand if you're tired and don't want to push that if you don't feel up to it so ok

...

Me I hope you have a good day at work despite being exhausted!

Her I know, I was really looking forward to it too, but I just know that it will affect the rest of the week if I don't get to bed early tonight.

Me Understandable

 

 

 

And it's been hours, nothing from her since that. No "how's your day", nada. Ugh.

[Coldarmy13]

And it's been hours, nothing from her since that. No "how's your day", nada. Ugh.

 

I feel like her response is fine. Id advise getting busy with other things and not counting hours by any means. Slow wayyy down. Ease up on all the cute emoji things. Give it some time, let her contact you first once in awhile.

[TheSpoon2Big]

I feel like her response is fine. Id advise getting busy with other things and not counting hours by any means. Slow wayyy down. Ease up on all the cute emoji things. Give it some time, let her contact you first once in awhile.

Thanks. Wish I would have saw your advice before sending her a link to an article that talked about people who use emojis in texts have more sex.

 

However after those 3hrs or whatever of waiting, she did text me and started with "hey boyfriend" so confirmed plans for tomorrow night with the sister etc.

 

Just gonna not even text her right now I can sense I'm pushing her away or screwing up now somehow, despite the fact that she has told/texted me many cute things like "I like you" with emojis. But yea, I'm going to slow down as much as I can now without coming across as passive aggressive (?) that I'm not initiating contact as much...

[gp11a]

A lot of our conversations together have been her telling me things that she did not like about her ex(es), most specifically the more recent one. She told me she never saw herself falling in love with him, couldn't see a future, etc. She said he wouldn't open the car door for her, didn't do gentleman like things. And she said as soon as they slapped the "bf/gf" tag on them, he "acted differently". She said he would "belch" loudly, spoke very loud especially in public like at restaurants. She said every time they hung out, they were either drinking or on marijuana, neither of which I do.

 

 

...

 

 

She said, well, he had a nice body. And she previously mentioned that his $300k/yr income was appealing. So that’s cool……..

 

I don’t know how I feel about her right now… I keep thinking about how she was attracted to a guy with a nice body and made a ton of $ (shallow?) and how she pretty much pushes me away when I try to get close, delays/postpones hangouts/dates, and rarely is the first to reach out to me i.e. early morning/daily text opening, or phone-call-before-bed-chat at night.

 

I went on a date this weekend twice Sat and Sun with a girl who was talking about dating "jerks" who made that kind of money and had "douche" lamborghinis... uh, how intimidating? haha. I wouldn't stress on that all. Why did her last relationship end again? Did she feel like she could "fix" him and couldn't? She probably doesn't want you to stay over maybe because she thinks it makes things a bit more serious or something (as if you'll start staying over almost every night), who knows. Maybe she likes some space for now. I still see that she's probably hung up on something and probably watching out for herself. I think it's good that she reassures you about these things.

 

Try not to hyperfocus. You'll end up spending too much time thinking about this stuff. I agree with Coldarmy13 - try to get involved in your own things to distract you.

[TheSpoon2Big]

I went on a date this weekend twice Sat and Sun with a girl who was talking about dating "jerks" who made that kind of money and had "douche" lamborghinis... uh, how intimidating? haha. I wouldn't stress on that all. Why did her last relationship end again? Did she feel like she could "fix" him and couldn't? She probably doesn't want you to stay over maybe because she thinks it makes things a bit more serious or something (as if you'll start staying over almost every night), who knows. Maybe she likes some space for now. I still see that she's probably hung up on something and probably watching out for herself. I think it's good that she reassures you about these things.

 

Try not to hyperfocus. You'll end up spending too much time thinking about this stuff. I agree with Coldarmy13 - try to get involved in your own things to distract you.

 

That's the part I'm most concerned about. That she's still hung up on something/someone. Why would she let the 2 month "douche" sleep over at her place, put herself "in a relationship" with him on Facebook to broadcast to the world (these days the Facebook official seems to be a big deal).... apparently it ended because of a personality clash and her friends/family were telling her that he was just "odd". I guess making $$$,$$$ and having a nice body is only so much.... who knows. I know I have a decent body (used to have a 6 pack), I'm not at my peak anymore due to all this breakup misery and moving around all the time for the past 7 months, whatever. I'm settling down finally at my own new place by myself so that'll get better again when I hit the gym.

[TheSpoon2Big]

Why am I being so “hyperfocused” over this girl?!?!?! Ugh this is killing me right now. The way she responds and "plays" is sort of the way I would with a girl I'm not that interested in.

 

I was just telling her (and honestly) it felt like a long time since we've had sex. We did a few times when we first met up but it's been over 2 weeks now I think. It's not all that matters to me AT ALL, it was just an observation/expression of how I was feeling about it... she belittled/invalidated me? I guess I felt her reply was less "validating"... situation flipped, her reply is something I might say to a girl I'm not 100% in on.

 

 

 

 

Me Feels like I haven't ever had sex with you yet it's been a long time

 

 

Me Do you think humans were meant to be monogamous or polyamorous?

 

 

Her It has been a "long" time, but tomorrow is just around the corner. From a biological standpoint, humans are meant to be more polyamorous but culturally we're meant to be monogamous. What do you think?

 

 

Me: I hear the argument for polyamory but don't agree with it at all

 

 

Me So are you saying you are going to rape me tomorrow?

 

 

Her: Can’t rape the willing

 

 

Me Who says I'm willing?

 

 

Her Cause I know

 

 

Me: You know nothing Jon Snow

 

 

Her Burn

 

 

 

 

 

And about an hour later, I called on my way home from work, no answer. I know she said she was going to do one bit of school work after work and then go to bed, but I didn’t think she’d be asleep at 7pm. I’m not going to go ultra paranoid and think she just didn’t want to talk, she’s probably asleep. I’m trying to reassure myself at this point.

 

 

I’ve just never seen this low energy level of enthusiasm from someone who calls themselves my “girlfriend”. I was thinking on the way home. Either that, OR, I’ve been used to the other side of the spectrum of girls who blow me up 24/7 night and day because they’re so interested in me. I’ve had that happen a few times through this whole trying to find a gf ordeal. Maybe that’s it, I’m just not sure what a normal, healthy amount of text/call/communication is because I’ve seen the extreme constant contact and then I’ve seen the stand-off-isa kind.

 

 

Problem is, usually with the latter, it has meant that the girl just wasn’t all that into me. I’m sure I can scroll back through this thread and find many examples of how I was interested in a girl and she randomly rarely responded to me which obviously resulted in nothing between us.

 

 

I just don’t even know how to proceed right now. I am trying to be careful with my words and timing and method of communication, but having to try and rehearse or visualize/predict her reaction is killing me. It shouldn’t be like this. Should it?

 

 

What’s a “normal” relationship look like to you, when you guys are in the very beginning of it? I thought there was that whole “honeymoon” thing where you can’t get enough of each other in the early stages…

[Ms Darcy]

I wish I didn't have to be a negative Nancy but you are "hyperfocused" on this girl because of your long unresolved abandonment issues. And those abandonment issues make you have cringeworthy conversations with women in almost every post of yours I read!

 

This last one was ... very unattractive dude. If I can SMELL the desperate and clingy on you, no doubt the women (especially this woman) dating you can too.

[Coldarmy13]

I agree with Darcy. Your communication between seeing each other should be light and fun. Not complaints imo. You seem to be projecting a lot of your insecurities towards her and believe me, that never works out well. Reading your posts makes me anxious, it's coming across to me that you seem to be just living from text to text. IE "it's been HOURS" since I heard from her. Certainly you had things you enjoy before you met this girl right? I may be wrong but this is a really new relationship right? If you're feeling this much anxiety already, then there is a problem with the relationship dynamic or something with yourself. That's worth giving some thought to. It should be fun, not what I'm reading.

[TheSpoon2Big]

I wish I didn't have to be a negative Nancy but you are "hyperfocused" on this girl because of your long unresolved abandonment issues. And those abandonment issues make you have cringeworthy conversations with women in almost every post of yours I read!

 

This last one was ... very unattractive dude. If I can SMELL the desperate and clingy on you, no doubt the women (especially this woman) dating you can too.

So me just telling her I feel it's been awhile since we had sex and missed it was desperate and clingy?

 

She did end up calling just now and we talked for nearly an hour. Said she's excited to see me tomorrow, but she also said some weird things to me when we were talking about clothes and Furniture Etc such as how she likes Levi jeans and would buy them for her ex because she liked how his body looked in them. Another one was how the guy she dated for 2 months very recently would want to have sex 5 times in one night.

 

That right there to me doesn't make me feel good. I'm pretty sure no guy would want to hear that either actually but I could be wrong?

 

So if she has picked up on the desperate and clingy since like you say then what can I do to fix it with her? Or is it too late?

[Coldarmy13]

These posts remind me a lot of my first thread here with a girl that was similar. I believe it got up to 70 something pages in the dating sub forum. It was ridiculous. I pushed her away with very similar behavior you are exhibiting here. It could be an issue with yourself or simply a compatibility issue. Give it time and give her space. Don't bring up sex over the phone. Just go for it in person when the time seems right. Also I'd imagine you are having such an issue with this because like you said, it's so different than you're used to.

 

Everyone is different with different needs. If you give it time and relax, I'm sure you'd learn to appreciate the space and not the possible smothering and not having time to do your own thing, especially early on. When the girls were all about you before 24/7, did you ever take them a little for granted? Your current date could be feeling the same way. Breathe. Then breathe again. Return to your hobbies. Work out. Watch a movie. Play a video game. Go out with a friend. Less is more.

[Coldarmy13]

It's great that she called you and chatted it up for an hour. Look at that as a positive. She also said how excited she was to see you, EVEN BETTER. Just be loose and have fun tomorrow.

 

If you'd rather not hear about her sex life with her exs I think it's fair to express that next time she brings it up. Just don't make it a huge deal. It IS in the past. In my opinion it's bad etiquette to bring up exs a lot to a new date, she just might not be aware. Could be a big red flag, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet.

[TheSpoon2Big]

I agree with Darcy. Your communication between seeing each other should be light and fun. Not complaints imo. You seem to be projecting a lot of your insecurities towards her and believe me, that never works out well. Reading your posts makes me anxious, it's coming across to me that you seem to be just living from text to text. IE "it's been HOURS" since I heard from her. Certainly you had things you enjoy before you met this girl right? I may be wrong but this is a really new relationship right? If you're feeling this much anxiety already, then there is a problem with the relationship dynamic or something with yourself. That's worth giving some thought to. It should be fun, not what I'm reading.

Yes I know, I did have things I enjoyed before her. But my problem tends to be if I meet a girl and am infatuated with her, I tend to gear a lot of attention and focus on things like planning special dates with her, hoping to win over the "approval" of her close knit click of her twin sister and bro in law, what to wear, do I get a haircut before? Crap like that.

 

Did you mean my text to her about feeling like it's been a long time on sex was a complaint? I really honestly wasn't trying to come off that way. I was just trying to talk about it in a fun way and she didn't play back I guess

 

My attraction for her or my conversations with her seem to be full of ups and downs like for example what I mentioned in my last post about her saying things about her ex's and stuff. I'm not used to that and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I might be wrong on this as well but I don't think too many guys want to hear about a girl's exes' sexual endeavors or how certain clothes looked on an ex etc.

 

I'm a naturally sweet and Charming guy honestly it comes out in me when it's a girl I like I'm actually pretty good at it and always get a girl to say that I'm very sweet or that I did something that made them blush or say that I'm really cute.

 

This game is hard to play.

 

But maybe this is all back to my abandonment issues at heart like Darcy said

[TheSpoon2Big]

It's great that she called you and chatted it up for an hour. Look at that as a positive. She also said how excited she was to see you, EVEN BETTER. Just be loose and have fun tomorrow.

 

If you'd rather not hear about her sex life with her exs I think it's fair to express that next time she brings it up. Just don't make it a huge deal. It IS in the past. In my opinion it's bad etiquette to bring up exs a lot to a new date, she just might not be aware. Could be a big red flag, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet.

Alright good points. I did take the part when she said she was excited to see me was good as well. She did say it in a sort of forced tone it felt like though.

 

It's only been a month now and the logical part of my brain is screaming at me to slow down and chill out.

 

My emotion mind gets flooded and I just assume she doesn't like me at least as much as I like her right now.

 

You were dead on when mentioning how I've had girls who were constantly on me 24 7 and I just took them for granted because I knew they would always be there because they were so hooked.

[Ms Darcy]

So me just telling her I feel it's been awhile since we had sex and missed it was desperate and clingy?

 

She did end up calling just now and we talked for nearly an hour. Said she's excited to see me tomorrow, but she also said some weird things to me when we were talking about clothes and Furniture Etc such as how she likes Levi jeans and would buy them for her ex because she liked how his body looked in them. Another one was how the guy she dated for 2 months very recently would want to have sex 5 times in one night.

 

That right there to me doesn't make me feel good. I'm pretty sure no guy would want to hear that either actually but I could be wrong?

 

So if she has picked up on the desperate and clingy since like you say then what can I do to fix it with her? Or is it too late?

 

You never know how texts are going to be interpreted. But when you haven't talked to someone in a while and that's what they say to you ... you start to wonder if that (sex, monogamy, etc) is what is on their mind. Why would you be worried about monogamy when you just got in a relationship and she "just" reassured you that she really did want to see you but had to wait to finish other things of higher priority.

 

Are you feeling insecure about your body? Are you fit or are you out of shape? I can't tell if she's subtly (or not so subtly) trying to suggest you get in shape. I'm not sure.

 

I think people have suggested to you many times to stop texting. I don't know why you keep doing it. Live your life and lay off the texting. That at the very least gives the impression you aren't thinking of her a bunch and aren't worrying about the relationship.

[Ms Darcy]

These posts remind me a lot of my first thread here with a girl that was similar. I believe it got up to 70 something pages in the dating sub forum. It was ridiculous. I pushed her away with very similar behavior you are exhibiting here. It could be an issue with yourself or simply a compatibility issue. Give it time and give her space.

 

OMG, I STILL reference your thread as epic in neediness and smothering. You have definitely come a long way in a positive direction.

[TheSpoon2Big]

You never know how texts are going to be interpreted. But when you haven't talked to someone in a while and that's what they say to you ... you start to wonder if that (sex, monogamy, etc) is what is on their mind. Why would you be worried about monogamy when you just got in a relationship and she "just" reassured you that she really did want to see you but had to wait to finish other things of higher priority.

 

Are you feeling insecure about your body? Are you fit or are you out of shape? I can't tell if she's subtly (or not so subtly) trying to suggest you get in shape. I'm not sure.

 

I think people have suggested to you many times to stop texting. I don't know why you keep doing it. Live your life and lay off the texting. That at the very least gives the impression you aren't thinking of her a bunch and aren't worrying about the relationship.

 

I don't think she's hinting about me to get in shape. I'm in good shape, all things considered. A year ago I had a six pack and was more healthy/active at the gym. That's always been my thing, I take it seriously. I have fallen a little, but it's still there. One night I came over in a t-shirt and she was looking at my chest and arms and was touching them specifically.

 

When I said to her what I said about sex and how it felt like we haven't had it in a while wasn't after we "haven't talked to someone in a while" though. We were literally texting back and forth all day at work. And of course sex was on my mind about her. I'm not someone who has like a freak addiction to it or something, and I don't consider it the end-all-be-all of a relationship, but we had some good sex in the beginning and I thought it was a good way to bond and stuff, and I was just trying to comment on that and how I missed her/that. I can see how that would come off wrong though, I guess, if we haven't been talking all that long.

 

The monogamy question was out of the blue because I try to make a point to ask some sort of more intellectual or thought provoking question every day to get to know her more. I pick a random topic and just ask her questions.

 

I know you and others have said to stop texting. How do I just altogether STOP though if that's a means of communication these days that people almost virtually rely on or use 100% of the time in a relationship? It's like no one calls one another any more these days.

[Coldarmy13]

Thanks, Darcy.

 

I think when we say stop texting, we don't mean call her necessarily. If you've been together a month there should still be a healthy amount of space there imo. How often do you see her during the week? Just for me, the constant contact throughout the day is too much too soon. At some point if I don't have plans I'd like to put the phone away and catch up on a tv show or a video game. Maybe go out and grab a drink if I want. If you are texting throughout the day, I'm not sure what is setting off your emotions here. As far as not having sex for two weeks, depending on how your in person visits went, maybe she was pmsing and didn't want to tell you this soon on the relationship. Could've been simple as that, have to work towards not thinking the worst. Plus she hinted at some action when you see her tomorrow.

[Ms Darcy]

I know you and others have said to stop texting. How do I just altogether STOP though if that's a means of communication these days that people almost virtually rely on or use 100% of the time in a relationship? It's like no one calls one another any more these days.

 

Let there be a day or two of silence. Call to talk. Leave a message if you get her vm.

 

I've been with my husband for years now. In the beginning of the relationship (first six months) we never texted unless to confirm location for a date. We spoke on the phone 2-3 times a week. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And lasting relationships are a marathon, not a sprint. The slower you go, the longer things can last.

[TheSpoon2Big]

Thanks, Darcy.

 

I think when we say stop texting, we don't mean call her necessarily. If you've been together a month there should still be a healthy amount of space there imo. How often do you see her during the week? Just for me, the constant contact throughout the day is too much too soon. At some point if I don't have plans I'd like to put the phone away and catch up on a tv show or a video game. Maybe go out and grab a drink if I want. If you are texting throughout the day, I'm not sure what is setting off your emotions here. As far as not having sex for two weeks, depending on how your in person visits went, maybe she was pmsing and didn't want to tell you this soon on the relationship. Could've been simple as that, have to work towards not thinking the worst. Plus she hinted at some action when you see her tomorrow.

 

Yea, the reason we haven't seen each other really much less have sex is because apparently she didn't give any attention to a college course she took while dating her last 2 month guy, and then for the last few weeks went into extreme crunch mode constantly studying and taking tests and going to bed early and kept telling me "I promise, Tuesday will be the end of all of this and I'll be less stressed and we'll see each other then". And then she was too tired to hang out with me tonight, so it's tomorrow instead.

 

She was actually pretty blunt about the PMS thing, which I thought was forward so soon (at least for most girls I've dated...), as in she told me she was about to have it week before last. So that was 1 week where it was out of the question, but the rest is just that she is too busy for me at the moment.

 

So in answer to how often we see each other during the week. Currently, that's a 0. I saw her briefly for about 1hr each time this past weekend when I stopped by to pick up some boxes she wanted to give me to help my moving, etc.

 

I'm actually reading your thread right now too. Seeing a lot of similarities and can feel what you felt. I guess I'm going to try and be more aloof/distant or just not text her much tomorrow at all...

[Coldarmy13]

Which one? My journal is even more continuation from the thread I was talking about. They closed it because it was just just enough of the same. The journal I sill post in.

 

Zero isn't good but she sounds like she's upfront about why that's the case right now. If her last relationship cling to her the way you described it then that's another clear sign of why she'd be wary of anything resembling that. Hence, let her do her thing and be confident that she'll come to you when she can, and try to stay confident in yourself.

[TheSpoon2Big]

Agreed, 0 isn't good. I know she stressed to me the importance of the the class she just got done taking. I just got really excited and my hopes up that I would be able to see her today because today is Tuesday and she kept saying all last week and last weekend don't worry Tuesday will be the day and I will be free.

 

The first two weeks I would say though we hung out a good three times a week.

 

And she was too tired to hang out today which she previously promised to me that we would hang out today.

 

What you said about her ex of 2 months being clingy etcetera is very resonating. She told me how demanding he was of her time and how that was the reason she didn't do any homework on her class for the two months that she was with him. I definitely don't want to be that guy but I want to have my feelings or thoughts validated if I'm "in a relationship" you know? Not make fun of or make me feel like stupid or dumb for pointing out that it's been awhile since we had sex.

 

And yea, it's in the plans for tomorrow night's hang out. I don't know how that's going to go anyways because they want to meet at 7 and I work until 7 but will try to get off earlier to clean up and meet her sister and her. We also had a plan to watch Game of Thrones together after we meet her sister. I highly doubt that's going to happen though if she has to be in bed by freaking 8:30 p.m. every night or whatever it seems

[TheSpoon2Big]

i. Today I have taken an “I don’t care” approach to her and this situation. It’s the only way I can shut it out and focus on my life and my work. She texted me this morning right off the bat saying, “Good morning! I talked to (sister) and looks like we are meeting at the (place) at 1830.” I just said pretty much “OK cool sounds good". Not even sure how she’ll have time for “us” like to watch our favorite TV show that I’ve been holding off on until I see her (Game of Thrones) since it’s our “thing” according to her. She told me on Tuesday when she was too tired to hang out that she promised today she'd be a "spring chicken" and "I'll even make you dinner..." which won't happen I'm sure.

 

ii. That puts us back at her place hypothetically at like 8pm. And she likes to go to bed crazy early, like 9:30pm. At least that’s early to me. When I told her I was a little shocked that she goes to sleep so early, she said “it’s called being an adult”, which I didn’t take too kindly to.

 

iii. I usually don’t even get off work until 7pm (1900hrs). So I’m going to get off 2hrs early to accommodate, hopefully my boss will be OK with it. So I can go home, shower/clean up, then go do this sister/bro-in-law meet up at a bar type of place. And she has me slightly worried/psyched up worried like they are going to judge every move I make and word I say and give some kind of “report” back to her as to their thoughts/opinions upon first impression. Hearing all the horror stories of the 2 month guy/ex and how her family/friends didn’t think too highly of him, I’m more apprehensive than I think I’ve ever been just to meet a sibling/brother in law.

 

iv. This is an incredible amount of stress for me considering we’re just a month into this “relationship”.

 

v. Maybe I’m coming around and/or to my senses and listening more to the logical mind and realizing I was letting my emotion mind control and dictate everything.

 

vi. How do I get to “wise mind”, that perfect balance of the logical and emotional side of our brains?

[TheSpoon2Big]

i. Forgot to mention that we had like a 1hr phone conversation last night (she ended up calling me back, in which we discussed things like furniture and dishes/silverware sets as I just got my own new apt again and am putting the pieces of my life back together and need all new stuff like a bedframe, couch, cups/plates you name it.

 

ii. The reason I even mention this talk is because I couldn’t believe how judgmental or “snobby” she was over other people’s furniture and decorating etc. She kept trash talking her 2 month ex so much like how he had ugly couches and he ordered them from online before even looking at them and how dirty and un-fitting his furniture was at his apartment and would be embarrassed if anyone came over with them to hang out.

 

iii. So now I have to make sure I don’t get “ghetto” furniture or whatever. I remember when I mentioned to her that I’ve just had my mattress on the floor since I moved out of my ex’s house as until now I haven’t finally settled out on my own that she made me feel bad when she said “so your mattress is on the floor? Wow that’s ghetto”.

 

iv. Grrrrr….

 

 

Ladies, are you all that judgemental of a guy's place? Be honest.

[gp11a]

iv. This is an incredible amount of stress for me considering we’re just a month into this “relationship”.

 

v. Maybe I’m coming around and/or to my senses and listening more to the logical mind and realizing I was letting my emotion mind control and dictate everything.

 

...

 

She kept trash talking her 2 month ex so much like how he had ugly couches and he ordered them from online before even looking at them and how dirty and un-fitting his furniture was at his apartment and would be embarrassed if anyone came over with them to hang out.

 

iii. So now I have to make sure I don’t get “ghetto” furniture or whatever. I remember when I mentioned to her that I’ve just had my mattress on the floor since I moved out of my ex’s house as until now I haven’t finally settled out on my own that she made me feel bad when she said “so your mattress is on the floor? Wow that’s ghetto”.

 

This seems to be a lot of work for a one month relationship. What would be dealbreakers for you for you to call it off (not suggesting it, but good to think through)? And would you stick to them?