Worried about how we are going to survive once we take our Family Leave

[superfan]

No, it isn't small change certainly. Did you not prepare for having a child financially, and factor in things that may pop up? Do you have savings?

 

You should probably have a discussion with him regarding withholding financial details, you're not a child that you can't handle it. You are expecting a baby he needs to be aware it's about teamwork. Worrying and being stressed is inevitable.

 

 

 

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Oh I knew that money was taken off his pay for benefits, just not how much. Neither did he really. He never really checked his paycheque that closely mainly because even he did not want to know how much he was paying lol.

 

Our finances are transparent with one another in every way. He has an excel spreadsheet on the computer that he factors out each and every single expense that might come up. We just didn't know how much more money he would have to pay for a child in benefits (they added money to it).

 

We have some savings, but not much and that might have to go towards daycare if my job arrangement falls through. We did plan on it but if we had waited until we were 100% financially secure, we would never have a child.

[journeynow]

Yeah for whatever reason there just isn't any work in my area in the summer. I get laid off from my job every June and for years I attempted to find tutoring work only to end up taking other jobs to supplement it. I wish it was different here, but there just isn't anything during the summer months in the tutoring area.

 

For whatever reason there *wasn't* tutoring work that *you could find*. Sometimes the way an ad is worded and how you target the market can make a difference. I am unconvinced that no one, absolutely no one, cares about their academic prospects come summertime in your area. You may have to plant the seeds and encourage folks to take advantage of your stellar skills that will make a difference in their future. On the other hand, if it's not something you want to do, then never mind.

 

You might want to consider a diaper pail with a lid. Nothing fancy. Diapers down the laundry chute will very likely stink.

[IAmFCA]

re tutoring...

 

Where I live, summer tutors serve well - off families trying to give their children access to a private school or a higher level of study once the school year begins... These are basically smart kids working with a tutor to make their Fall a little easier. Offered in case it suggests a new marketing angle.

[IAmFCA]

re carrying things

 

This concerns me. It is almost impossible to act as primary caregiver without instances of moving baby from car seat to stroller, say, or floor to lap, etc. I recommend you inquire on the web and among doc staff for occupational therapist type advice.

 

As a post-op new mom, I was told nothing over 10 pounds, but given no thoughtful advice to make that work. I ignored the advice. If you have to be serious about lifting nothing over 10 pounds, then there will be things that need to get done a whole new way. For example, maybe you don't want a high chair in 6+ months. Maybe you want something low that limits your need to lift ba y into it.

[Silverbirch]

I only used the disposable diapers on a couple of occasions when I was either sick myself or had a lot on. As long as you have decent washing machine and clothes dryer, the clot diapers are no big deal. I soaked them in a bucket overnight and used to use Chux liners I side the diapers which made the cleaning g not too difficult.

[superfan]

re carrying things

 

This concerns me. It is almost impossible to act as primary caregiver without instances of moving baby from car seat to stroller, say, or floor to lap, etc. I recommend you inquire on the web and among doc staff for occupational therapist type advice.

 

As a post-op new mom, I was told nothing over 10 pounds, but given no thoughtful advice to make that work. I ignored the advice. If you have to be serious about lifting nothing over 10 pounds, then there will be things that need to get done a whole new way. For example, maybe you don't want a high chair in 6+ months. Maybe you want something low that limits your need to lift ba y into it.

 

I can lift things, I just can't carry them for extended periods which is why a stroller will be necessary.

[Seraphim]

A middle-of-the-road reasonable buggy would be good. The $29 fold up strollers you can use when they are toddlers.

 

Most likely your baby will be over 10 pounds in a few weeks. Most babies are born between seven and 8 1/2 pounds. And they gain a few pounds in their first few weeks. My son was 6 1/2 pounds when he was born and in 2 weeks he gained 2 1/2 pounds.

 

Is it that you have a pre-existing back condition? Because you will be doing a lot of lifting and a lot of chasing and a lot of carrying heavy heavy squirming toddler .

[superfan]

A middle-of-the-road reasonable buggy would be good. The $29 fold up strollers you can use when they are toddlers.

 

Most likely your baby will be over 10 pounds in a few weeks. Most babies are born between seven and 8 1/2 pounds. And they gain a few pounds in their first few weeks. My son was 6 1/2 pounds when he was born and in 2 weeks he gained 2 1/2 pounds.

 

Is it that you have a pre-existing back condition? Because you will be doing a lot of lifting and a lot of chasing and a lot of carrying heavy heavy squirming toddler .

 

Yeah I herniated my back 2 years ago. I had to undergo intensive physio therapy and it took almost a year to heal. Most of the time I don't feel it, but carrying heavy things or lifting things that are too heavy can re-injure it and could possibly mean surgery or worse. I am not worried about when Blobby reaches the toddler stage. My husband will be around most of the time then and/or Blobby will be in daycare.

 

My husband lifts/carries mostly everything I need him to so I figure once I go back to work I won't really need to worry about it except for the odd occasion which is fine.

[Seraphim]

You might be underestimating the amount of lifting that you'll have to do. You will figure this out though. Kids are A LOT of lifting until they are about 5 or so. So there will be times when your husband won't be there and there won't be daycare workers. You will gain a lot of upper body strength let me tell you.

[Batya33]

You might be underestimating the amount of lifting that you'll have to do. You will figure this out though. Kids are A LOT of lifting until they are about 5 or so. So there will be times when your husband won't be there and there won't be daycare workers. You will gain a lot of upper body strength let me tell you.

 

Yes them and their stuff too. I totally agree. I don't lift my son as much these days (he is 6) but we still do on occasion (that pre-bedtime tour around our house my husband gives him LOL) but there's often occasion where it has to be done. It's interesting pushing a stroller with a toddler kicking his legs up in the air and writhing because - trauma of traumas -you left the playground after 3 hours of playing!! (Luckily he didn't know how to unlatch himself but still).

[faraday]

The problem with tutoring is that it would only be lucrative in the first 4 months of the baby's life (Feb-June). Nobody needs tutors during the summer (I have tried) and those will be the most intensive months with feeding/napping, etc.

 

A lot of that is marketing and flexibility. A lot of people go away during the summer..so they can't commit to weekly lessons. But you could do kid "school boot camps" where you do 2-3 hour sessions of tutoring that's marketed towards parents with families with a stay at home mom that just wants a break from her kids. Talk about getting kids ready for back to school, a refresher course so that they can go back to school confident. Just talk out of your as$- it's a sales thing. Post ads on kijiji, daycare bear, and any other free sites you can find.

 

I was in a simile situation when I had my daughter. My pay checks would barely have covered daycare costs for my daughter...so I opened a Dayhome. It was hard...but I made around. $60,000 a year doing it (I'm in Calgary- I think daycare costs are similar) and it was completely tax free because of all the write offs.

 

One other thing to consider (at least a little while- Trudeau is changing things, but I'm not sure when) is that you'll be getting checks from the government once your child is born. I get around $400 a month...it helps.

[Seraphim]

Ugh my child tax credit was $75. And I never qualified for the universal child tax credit until July when they expanded to include 17. Now all my credits are gone. Pooooo!

[faraday]

A middle-of-the-road reasonable buggy would be good. The $29 fold up strollers you can use when they are toddlers.

 

Most likely your baby will be over 10 pounds in a few weeks. Most babies are born between seven and 8 1/2 pounds. And they gain a few pounds in their first few weeks. My son was 6 1/2 pounds when he was born and in 2 weeks he gained 2 1/2 pounds.

 

Is it that you have a pre-existing back condition? Because you will be doing a lot of lifting and a lot of chasing and a lot of carrying heavy heavy squirming toddler .

 

Regarding strollers: make sure you check how tall it is. A lot of strollers are short- which means you have to hunch over to push them. Also check to see how well they turn....and if the wheels get stuck on gravel easily.

[faraday]

Ugh my child tax credit was $75. And I never qualified for the universal child tax credit until July when they expanded to include 17. Now all my credits are gone. Pooooo!

 

Now here's the Universal child care benefit...and the child tax credit....it's pretty sweet.

[Seraphim]

Now here's the Universal child care benefit...and the child tax credit....it's pretty sweet.

 

Yeah they never included my son's age group for the universal childcare benefit until last July. He was long past six years old when they created that benefit. However,the universal childcare benefit is taxed while the child tax credit is not. So the people who got thousands of dollars this past July are going to be shocked come tax time.

[faraday]

Yeah they never included my son's age group for the universal childcare benefit until last July. He was long past six years old when they created that benefit. However,the universal childcare benefit is taxed while the child tax credit is not. So the people who got thousands of dollars this past July are going to be shocked come tax time.

 

Lol yup. Good thing right now I make nothing lol

[Batya33]

Regarding strollers: make sure you check how tall it is. A lot of strollers are short- which means you have to hunch over to push them. Also check to see how well they turn....and if the wheels get stuck on gravel easily.

 

Loved my BOB jogging stroller -worth every penny -and the Maclaren lightweight foldable one.

[superfan]

I only used the disposable diapers on a couple of occasions when I was either sick myself or had a lot on. As long as you have decent washing machine and clothes dryer, the clot diapers are no big deal. I soaked them in a bucket overnight and used to use Chux liners I side the diapers which made the cleaning g not too difficult.

 

We are in an apartment so I am thinking that cloth diapers would likely be too awkward to deal with. We can't always guarantee use of the washer/dryers down the stairs and it costs a bit of money when all is said and done.

[Fudgie]

I live in an apartment and have my own washer/dryer. The dryer is in my bedroom and vents indoors (via indoor vent kit) and my washer is in my kitchen. It's portable (on wheels) and I just roll it up to my sink when I want to wash stuff. It has a hose that connects to my sink faucet and a small drain tube goes into my kitchen drain.

 

When I was purchasing it, I found that my model of washer is quite popular with mothers who are cloth-diapering their babies. The washer is really compact and washing quickly and well. You can find it for cheap on craigslist many times too, because people move out and don't need theirs anymore. Cloth diapers are small and thin so you probably don't even need a dryer, at least, some of the stuff I've read says that they didn't use a dryer with it. Just wash a bunch and hang overnight and you're good to go.

 

I am attaching the product page at Walmart but like I said, you can find a good, working model for cheap on CL.

 

 

Just something to consider. Disposable diapers are really expensive. It may be a worthwhile investment, when you consider the initial upfront costs (of a used portable washer, plus cloth diapers) versus the ongoing costs over time. I think diaper companies know that diapers are a #1 necessity so that's why their prices are so high, because they know you know you're stuck and will have no choice but to pay.

[Seraphim]

I know a mother here who has 6 kids under 7 and she did breast feeding and cloth diapers for everyone. She said it saved her a literal fortune.

[Batya33]

We are in an apartment so I am thinking that cloth diapers would likely be too awkward to deal with. We can't always guarantee use of the washer/dryers down the stairs and it costs a bit of money when all is said and done.

 

My friend in that situation did the compact washer but I am not sure how it worked out. We did disposable. Another friend took the diapers to a service but it probably was expensive. I especially liked disposables because when we were out and about (much of the time) I would not have been wanting to cart around used diapers.

[faraday]

I had horrible experiences with cloth diapers. They always leaked...and I hated dealing with all the runny poop on top of everything else. Babies increase your laundry by a ton already, I think if you're tight on funds and it's not convenient to wash things...it just adds to the chore list too much.

 

I found diapers and wipes to be super inexpensive at costco, and well worth the membership costs (especially if you end up needing or wanting to go with formula).

 

I think babies come in so many shapes and sizes that you kind of have to try out different brands to see what doesn't leak. Tine was long (95% percentile) and lean (30% percentile) so the diapers that worked for her cousin who was a fat baby (he was so cute) didn't work for us.

 

 

 

 

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[superfan]

Regarding strollers: make sure you check how tall it is. A lot of strollers are short- which means you have to hunch over to push them. Also check to see how well they turn....and if the wheels get stuck on gravel easily.

 

I am extremely short....I highly doubt there is a stroller out there that I will have to bend to push lol.

 

As for the tax credit, if we get around $400, that will likely go to pay my monthly student loan fees which are $550/month so I likely won't see any of it.

[superfan]

I live in an apartment and have my own washer/dryer. The dryer is in my bedroom and vents indoors (via indoor vent kit) and my washer is in my kitchen. It's portable (on wheels) and I just roll it up to my sink when I want to wash stuff. It has a hose that connects to my sink faucet and a small drain tube goes into my kitchen drain.

 

When I was purchasing it, I found that my model of washer is quite popular with mothers who are cloth-diapering their babies. The washer is really compact and washing quickly and well. You can find it for cheap on craigslist many times too, because people move out and don't need theirs anymore. Cloth diapers are small and thin so you probably don't even need a dryer, at least, some of the stuff I've read says that they didn't use a dryer with it. Just wash a bunch and hang overnight and you're good to go.

 

I am attaching the product page at Walmart but like I said, you can find a good, working model for cheap on CL.

 

 

Just something to consider. Disposable diapers are really expensive. It may be a worthwhile investment, when you consider the initial upfront costs (of a used portable washer, plus cloth diapers) versus the ongoing costs over time. I think diaper companies know that diapers are a #1 necessity so that's why their prices are so high, because they know you know you're stuck and will have no choice but to pay.

 

We are not allowed to have a washer and dryer in the apartment itself as per the lease agreement. It's considered an illegal appliance and can be grounds for terminating our lease. The reason for it is that our rent is $850 inclusive so we don't pay the water or hydro costs. If people put their own washer/dryers in that would up the use of water and therefore our rent.

 

The washer and dryers down the stairs are run on a card system and pretty expensive so I don't see it saving us much....not to mention the time it would take and the consideration that since we are sharing them with 110 other apartments we don't always have access to them.

[superfan]

I had horrible experiences with cloth diapers. They always leaked...and I hated dealing with all the runny poop on top of everything else. Babies increase your laundry by a ton already, I think if you're tight on funds and it's not convenient to wash things...it just adds to the chore list too much.

 

I found diapers and wipes to be super inexpensive at costco, and well worth the membership costs (especially if you end up needing or wanting to go with formula).

 

I think babies come in so many shapes and sizes that you kind of have to try out different brands to see what doesn't leak. Tine was long (95% percentile) and lean (30% percentile) so the diapers that worked for her cousin who was a fat baby (he was so cute) didn't work for us.

 

 

 

 

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Yeah we have a costco membership and the diapers there are reasonable and in bulk, so we will likely just go that route. It's too difficult to try to do laundry in our building and it costs money as well so the less amount we have to wash, the better.