Worried about how we are going to survive once we take our Family Leave

[superfan]

My friend in that situation did the compact washer but I am not sure how it worked out. We did disposable. Another friend took the diapers to a service but it probably was expensive. I especially liked disposables because when we were out and about (much of the time) I would not have been wanting to cart around used diapers.

 

Never even thought about carting them around...yeah no thanks! We can't have a washer and dryer in our actual apartment, so that isn't even an option.

[Fudgie]

Ah, I see. Yeah, I'm not allowed to have mine either, for damage risk, not cost issue. Not that I much worry, I have great renter's insurance that will pay out even if my appliance causes damage. I keep a space in my closet that I roll them into so they are out of sight. I've had them for years without issue. I can understand that it's not for everyone. It seems that buying disposables in bulk is what you're gonna have to do.

[Batya33]

Never even thought about carting them around...yeah no thanks! We can't have a washer and dryer in our actual apartment, so that isn't even an option.

 

If you cannot then I would not do it unless you can afford the diaper service.

[petite]

Will you be having a baby shower? A lot of people receive basics at the baby-shower. You'll be fine, plenty of people have raised children on much less.

[faraday]

Will you be having a baby shower? A lot of people receive basics at the baby-shower. You'll be fine, plenty of people have raised children on much less.

 

I'm guessing because they don't have family in the city, it will be a smaller one.

 

You should set up a registry somewhere and put the things you need on it. People in different places (like your husbands family) can purchase things from it and have it shipped to you guys.

 

The thing is....petite is right. You don't need a ton to take care of a baby. A lot of it is what we think we need....and we just don't. I got so many things from people...bottle warmers, wipe warmers, a super fancy crib (that she slept in for a year and a half)....weird bath thingys....and I didn't use a lot of it. The bassinet she grew out of within a month. If I had know that- I would have put her in a box. Seriously.

 

Buy two sets of sleepers for everyday for as long as you plan to go in between laundry days (so if you plan on going a week between washes, buy 14). Costco sells them for pretty inexpensive...but I loved looking at second hand stores- they grow out of them so fast- and they aren't eating solids yet- so everything looked new.

 

If you end up breast feeding, it would be good to either rent/buy/borrow a pump from someone and get your baby used to bottles before you go back to work...it will make your life much easier.

 

Get several baby blankets- you can use them to swaddle, hide breast feeding in public (until you get over the need to hide lol), clean up baby puke...they're kind of awesome.

 

A car seat....and honestly, I don't think second hand ones are bad. People aren't going to lie to you about if they've been in a crash- I think most people are not jerks...and they won't want the possibility of a baby getting injured hanging over their heads.

 

A stroller. I'd rather buy a decent used one than a cheap new one. You'll have to keep an eye out though.

 

And vitamin d drops...other than that..most of the other stuff is wants versus needs.

 

 

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[superfan]

I'm guessing because they don't have family in the city, it will be a smaller one.

 

You should set up a registry somewhere and put the things you need on it. People in different places (like your husbands family) can purchase things from it and have it shipped to you guys.

 

Yeah we are having one next weekend, but it will be fairly small. My husband's family is in Scotland so shipping things for them is HUGELY expensive. They will likely maybe send some money and/or buy us things when they get here for a visit in April (which will be nice). Most of the other people coming to the shower are just as broke as we are, so we aren't expecting much. We do have a registry set up, but not one single thing has been purchased from it which is not a good sign, especially since I set it up at the end of September lol.

 

The thing is....petite is right. You don't need a ton to take care of a baby. A lot of it is what we think we need....and we just don't. I got so many things from people...bottle warmers, wipe warmers, a super fancy crib (that she slept in for a year and a half)....weird bath thingys....and I didn't use a lot of it. The bassinet she grew out of within a month. If I had know that- I would have put her in a box. Seriously.

 

They DO put them in boxes in Finland apparently....

 

Buy two sets of sleepers for everyday for as long as you plan to go in between laundry days (so if you plan on going a week between washes, buy 14). Costco sells them for pretty inexpensive...but I loved looking at second hand stores- they grow out of them so fast- and they aren't eating solids yet- so everything looked new.

 

We have already bought a bunch of sleepers from Value Village (a second hand store). I don't intend to get any newborn/baby clothes new since I know how quickly he/she will grow out of them. Doesn't seem worth it. We do laundry once a week and usually don't have all that much so I am guessing that load might increase to two loads when Blobby gets here, but sleepers are definitely the way we are going...

 

If you end up breast feeding, it would be good to either rent/buy/borrow a pump from someone and get your baby used to bottles before you go back to work...it will make your life much easier.

 

Looking into that one since I will definitely need to be able to pump to go back to work. Formula is expensive.

 

Get several baby blankets- you can use them to swaddle, hide breast feeding in public (until you get over the need to hide lol), clean up baby puke...they're kind of awesome.

 

Lol I don't really care who sees me breast feeding. People who have issues with that are jerks.

 

A car seat....and honestly, I don't think second hand ones are bad. People aren't going to lie to you about if they've been in a crash- I think most people are not jerks...and they won't want the possibility of a baby getting injured hanging over their heads.

 

A stroller. I'd rather buy a decent used one than a cheap new one. You'll have to keep an eye out though.

 

We might have a lead on both of those. My ex boyfriend and his wife were talking about lending us their car seat/stroller combo which their 9 month old has almost grown out of. We are hoping that will be the case because it's in good condition and they haven't been in any accidents.

 

And vitamin d drops...other than that..most of the other stuff is wants versus needs.

 

This might be a stupid question but we haven't done this before....why vitamin D drops?

[Fudgie]

Starting a vitamin D supplement can really boost your mood, especially if you're like most people in the north and have a Vitamin D deficiency. You're in Canada though, so I imagine you're already planning to take extra for the winter, right? I am not in Canada but I live nearish to you guys and I also have cold, dark winters AND I have a history of vit D deficiency, so I always take some plus extra in the cold months. It's worth a shot.

[Batya33]

I think we gave our son vitamin D drops when I was trying to breastfeed but stopped them once he was on formula. Shaky memory on that but it was definitely advised by the pediatrician.

[Seraphim]

I REALLY REALLY recommend a new car seat .

[faraday]

When you're in the hospital, they'll give you a baby book (from the gov- it was actually a really great resource for looking up milestones, what to expect etc) and it will have all the info in there.

 

Formula is fortified with vitamin d- but breast milk isn't. Totally hold off on buying it- a doctor will tell you about it.

 

Two things that no one told me that I wished someone had mentioned....at the hospital, if you give birth vaginally, they'll give you frozen pads....and when I got home, I really wished I had some ready. You just get the biggest pads you can find, open them up, get them wet and lay them flat in the freezer. I know it sounds crazy- but they were very soothing.

 

Another thing I didn't know about was nipple cream. Breast feeding for the first month is super hard on your nipples...like...they bleed. No one told me that. If you know anyone that just started breastfeeding they'll probably have most of a tube left- but is that stuff ever awesome. I'm not trying to scare you- I wish someone had told me beforehand. It's tough, but you get through it....I actually kept breastfeeding until my daughter was 15 months old- I really enjoyed it, it was our bonding time....but the first month....it sucked.

 

Okay, a third thing I hadn't thought about. You can buy these little pads for leaking milk....if I had known ahead of time I'd be leaking milk, I would have looked into this beforehand...the pads you can buy suck. When I do this again, I'll look online about ways to make my own reusable cloth ones...I think they'll be more comfortable.

 

Also, idk how different it is between Alberta and Ontario, but they told us we needed to bring diapers to the hospital, but then they supplied them. I was really surprised with how well stocked they were and how helpful they were.

 

 

 

 

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[Batya33]

I would check the Car Seat Lady blog/site -great info.

[Fudgie]

We use witch hazel pads here for new moms and they love them, really helps bring down the swelling and soreness.

 

faraday, I'm really surprised you were told you had to bring diapers to the hospital. I can't speak for all hospitals but mine has enough to diaper all babies of mankind it seems. Very well stocked.

 

Hospitals have incentive to really look after new moms and babies because new moms will talk about their experience, good or bad, to their loved ones and if the hospital cares for them well, then that = not one but 2 new, recurring future customers! So when you get to the hospital, if you are uncomfortable, speak up! Say something. Ask for anything you want/need or ask for any advice. That's what we are here for. Many people here take home creams and pads to get started with so they don't have to run out shopping the moment they bring baby home.

[faraday]

We use witch hazel pads here for new moms and they love them, really helps bring down the swelling and soreness.

 

faraday, I'm really surprised you were told you had to bring diapers to the hospital. I can't speak for all hospitals but mine has enough to diaper all babies of mankind it seems. Very well stocked.

 

Hospitals have incentive to really look after new moms and babies because new moms will talk about their experience, good or bad, to their loved ones and if the hospital cares for them well, then that = not one but 2 new, recurring future customers! So when you get to the hospital, if you are uncomfortable, speak up! Say something. Ask for anything you want/need or ask for any advice. That's what we are here for. Many people here take home creams and pads to get started with so they don't have to run out shopping the moment they bring baby home.

 

It's a different system here. Our healthcare is free...so no one rally talks about one hospital being better than another because they're all pretty evenly good accross the board. I think when I left the hospital, they asked us to pay our bill...and it was was $13.

[faraday]

The $13 might even have been just taxes (gst).

[Fudgie]

Ah, I'm surprised, I still figured different hospitals would have different reputations even up there. I'm sure they are still invested in making new moms comfortable so be sure to take advantage of the opportunity!

[faraday]

Ah, I'm surprised, I still figured different hospitals would have different reputations even up there. I'm sure they are still invested in making new moms comfortable so be sure to take advantage of the opportunity!

 

It's funny- when I read the website before we went to the hospital...when I was reading the "what to pack" section, it pretty much said bring everything. Bring pads, bring diapers and creams, and blankets and hats (which my daughter never tolerated)...bring everything you could possibly need except food. But then they supplied pretty much everything. Tbh, when I was reading about the hospital, they sounded kind of grumpy on the site...but then when I got there, everyone was so nice. My nurses were amazing.

[superfan]

Starting a vitamin D supplement can really boost your mood, especially if you're like most people in the north and have a Vitamin D deficiency. You're in Canada though, so I imagine you're already planning to take extra for the winter, right? I am not in Canada but I live nearish to you guys and I also have cold, dark winters AND I have a history of vit D deficiency, so I always take some plus extra in the cold months. It's worth a shot.

 

Well today it's bright and sunny and a balmy 22 degrees Celsius (71.6 Fahrenheit) here in Southern Ontario, so I'm soaking up the sunshine lol. We actually see a lot of sun, even in the winter. I can honestly say it never even crossed my mind to take vitamin D, but it's definitely worth a shot. My husband being from Scotland noticed a huge difference between the grey and rainy winters of his country and the cold, but often bright winters here. Still, he's probably vitamin D deficient as that is a common problem in the UK

[superfan]

When you're in the hospital, they'll give you a baby book (from the gov- it was actually a really great resource for looking up milestones, what to expect etc) and it will have all the info in there.

 

Formula is fortified with vitamin d- but breast milk isn't. Totally hold off on buying it- a doctor will tell you about it.

 

Two things that no one told me that I wished someone had mentioned....at the hospital, if you give birth vaginally, they'll give you frozen pads....and when I got home, I really wished I had some ready. You just get the biggest pads you can find, open them up, get them wet and lay them flat in the freezer. I know it sounds crazy- but they were very soothing.

 

What kind of pads? Like period pads? Big diaper things? Where do I get them?

 

Another thing I didn't know about was nipple cream. Breast feeding for the first month is super hard on your nipples...like...they bleed. No one told me that. If you know anyone that just started breastfeeding they'll probably have most of a tube left- but is that stuff ever awesome. I'm not trying to scare you- I wish someone had told me beforehand. It's tough, but you get through it....I actually kept breastfeeding until my daughter was 15 months old- I really enjoyed it, it was our bonding time....but the first month....it sucked.

 

Okay, a third thing I hadn't thought about. You can buy these little pads for leaking milk....if I had known ahead of time I'd be leaking milk, I would have looked into this beforehand...the pads you can buy suck. When I do this again, I'll look online about ways to make my own reusable cloth ones...I think they'll be more comfortable.

 

Also, idk how different it is between Alberta and Ontario, but they told us we needed to bring diapers to the hospital, but then they supplied them. I was really surprised with how well stocked they were and how helpful they were.

 

From what I understand they will provide diapers at the hospital here. I've already been "leaking" so I have the nipple pads. The nipple cream is on my registry so we will see if someone gets it for us. If not, we are buying it on our own lol.

[superfan]

We use witch hazel pads here for new moms and they love them, really helps bring down the swelling and soreness.

 

faraday, I'm really surprised you were told you had to bring diapers to the hospital. I can't speak for all hospitals but mine has enough to diaper all babies of mankind it seems. Very well stocked.

 

Hospitals have incentive to really look after new moms and babies because new moms will talk about their experience, good or bad, to their loved ones and if the hospital cares for them well, then that = not one but 2 new, recurring future customers! So when you get to the hospital, if you are uncomfortable, speak up! Say something. Ask for anything you want/need or ask for any advice. That's what we are here for. Many people here take home creams and pads to get started with so they don't have to run out shopping the moment they bring baby home.

 

Technically being in Canada, our hospital stays are covered by our universal health care system. Our taxes pay for it so we aren't really "customers" in that sense.

 

And in my city, there are 3 different hospitals but only one is designated as the "birthing" hospital. I am lucky in that it has some of the best facilities in all of Ontario. It's considered one of the best for pre natal care, etc. From what I have been told, all the rooms are private and come with large bath tubs, birthing balls, and various other comfort measures. They are extremely well stocked so I am not worried at all about that kind of thing. They take excellent care of you.

[superfan]

It's a different system here. Our healthcare is free...so no one rally talks about one hospital being better than another because they're all pretty evenly good accross the board. I think when I left the hospital, they asked us to pay our bill...and it was was $13.

 

Well there are some hospitals (at least in Ontario) that are considered better than others for certain things just because of the facilities they have. Like I said, there are 3 in the city I live in.

 

The one I was born in was THE hospital for giving birth. Everyone went there and they had the best facilities and the most up to date equipment. Then, a few years ago they moved all the prenatal and birthing services over to the larger hospital in the city likely because it already had an excellent children's hospital and they wanted to have them both in the same place. They had also built several new additions to it so the bulk of services are done there.

 

The third hospital belongs to the University and is the teaching hospital. Technically it's the closest to us, but their facilities are limited and we definitely wouldn't go there for giving birth. I have gone there for my migraines, but that's about it.

 

From what I have seen the hospital I will be going to will provide me with pretty much everything including my own room and super comfy facilities. Pretty happy about that.

[superfan]

I would check the Car Seat Lady blog/site -great info.

 

Thanks, I will do that right now!

[superfan]

I REALLY REALLY recommend a new car seat .

 

I wouldn't even consider it if it weren't for the fact that we know these people REALLY well and I know the seat was purchased new within the year. I also know that they would never ever give it to us if they had been in any kind of accident. It's part of a stroller combo that we really like and the seat is in perfect condition and not damaged in any way. This will save us a LOT of money.

[faraday]

Well there are some hospitals (at least in Ontario) that are considered better than others for certain things just because of the facilities they have. Like I said, there are 3 in the city I live in.

 

The one I was born in was THE hospital for giving birth. Everyone went there and they had the best facilities and the most up to date equipment. Then, a few years ago they moved all the prenatal and birthing services over to the larger hospital in the city likely because it already had an excellent children's hospital and they wanted to have them both in the same place. They had also built several new additions to it so the bulk of services are done there.

 

The third hospital belongs to the University and is the teaching hospital. Technically it's the closest to us, but their facilities are limited and we definitely wouldn't go there for giving birth. I have gone there for my migraines, but that's about it.

 

From what I have seen the hospital I will be going to will provide me with pretty much everything including my own room and super comfy facilities. Pretty happy about that.

 

Huh, we didn't get to choose what hospital we went to. My GP sent me to a OBGYN when I hit the three month mark in my pregnancy...and she had an office for check ups, and a hospital that she worked out of. If I wanted her to be my delivery doctor, I had to go to that hospital.

 

We have hospitals that specialize in different things. We have one of the best cardio units in North America- you want to have a heart attack there if you're going to have one lol. We have a chilldrens hospital...but they don't do deliveries...well, maybe they would if the mother was under 18. But I don't know that any of them have better facilities for giving birth. I was too inexperienced and young to even think about things like that when I had my daughter (and no one suggested it)...but I'll look into it when we decide to have another one. We live closest to a brand new hospital built last year...it's gorgeous...they even have a rock climbing gym in it! But I won't be doing that after birth...so...I'll check out reviews of the facilities lol.

[faraday]

I understand not trusting someone to share if a car seat has been in an accident (if they're selling it)...but if they're giving it away...why would they lie?

 

Other than that....car seats are made out of thick, hard plastic. They have expiry dates on them. A plastic car seat will take thousands of years to biodegrade.....so I'm not sure what we think is going to happen to one that's a year or two old and has never been in an accident. I know car seat manufacturers recommend getting a new seat...but they have the incentive. I would love to know what the actual reason is for needing a new seat and not getting a second hand one. And no, I don't think anyone can actually answer that...because I think it's complex and how do you even study it?

 

On a side note, this TED talk is about booster seats not rear facing seats. He is an advocate for rear facing seats, and based on data from accidents, recommends that people keep their children in rear facing seats for as long as possible. But the data on booster seats is interesting.

[Batya33]

I agree with the rear facing as long as possible. When our son was rear facing the recommendation wasn't "as long as possible" but he was still rear facing at age 2.

 

I think in the situation you described used is fine.