Worried about how we are going to survive once we take our Family Leave

[Seraphim]

 

 

 

I am flipping because all my credits ended this month. Poooooo! It ends the month of their 18 th birthday.

[itsallgrand]

I wanted to add that you will do this because you are focused on both the practicalities and being a great parent (and your husband too!) and obviously you have everything else you need -big heart, big brain - and yes you need some $ in addition to love and smarts but you're totally on the right track.

 

 

Agreed!!

 

So nice to see a mom who wants her child so much and is focused on what it is to be a parent. You are going to do great. You have all the really important things going for you.

[superfan]

Don't forget you will also get the child tax credit and the universal child tax credit so a few extra hundred a month.

 

Also start an RESP for your child right away even $50 a month saved goes a long way for their education.

 

That sadly will be going directly towards my student loan payments. An RESP is something we would love to be able to do but is just not in the cards right now. I wish we could, but the money isn't there. My husband budgets everything with spreadsheets and going down half an income is not going to allow for an extra $50 anywhere really.

[superfan]

Agreed!!

 

So nice to see a mom who wants her child so much and is focused on what it is to be a parent. You are going to do great. You have all the really important things going for you.

 

Awww thanks both of you. My husband has been more stressed than me....he is so over the moon about this, but also so terrified he won't be a good father or be able to give Blobby (what we are calling it at the moment) everything he/she needs. I know it's probably something that will work out somehow, but right now it all seems to be piling on. Just need to take a deep breath I think.

[Heather Dawn]

Awww thanks both of you. My husband has been more stressed than me....he is so over the moon about this, but also so terrified he won't be a good father or be able to give Blobby (what we are calling it at the moment) everything he/she needs. I know it's probably something that will work out somehow, but right now it all seems to be piling on. Just need to take a deep breath I think.

 

BLOBBY! That's adorable!

[superfan]

BLOBBY! That's adorable!

 

lol it's because the first couple of ultrasounds it looked like a tiny blob. We even had the ultrasound tech write "blobby" on the pictures that we got at our last ultrasound

[WithLove]

How about doing some freelancing from home? Several people on this website have recommended it before. One website that was mentioned was [url=" - it used to be called oDesk. You put down what your accomplishments are and bid on different work articles, and people hire you. I can tell you that I bid on several b.s. ones myself and was selected for one of them, but in the end got busy with other things and couldn't do it. I think some lower-paying ones are like $10-$15 per article completed, but if you do several, for several months, then that's a lot of money. You are paid through PayPal I think?

 

Anyway, there are a lot of websites like that around. I'm not sure how many are very reputable, though. But it might be worth looking into. Especially since you can do it while at home with Blobby!

[superfan]

How about doing some freelancing from home? Several people on this website have recommended it before. One website that was mentioned was

 

Ooooh that's a really good idea! I am a writer so I was thinking of trying to free lance my work somehow.

[WithLove]

Yep, it's good because you can filter the jobs that are available based on what categories you're comfortable/proficient in.

[Heather Dawn]

Try WriterAccess.com, also.

[IAmFCA]

I just realized who it is that originated this thread. Congrats!

 

(1) We could have spent so much less than we did. The most important things we bought/were gifted?

- Changing table because it was safe. Had we not had a furry cat, we could have used the floor, frankly. Use the safety belt. At 9 months, ours flipped off of it while with a care giver and went head first into the trash can. It was terribly scary, but actually she was 100% fine. Use the belt in the strollers too, same reason.

- Well made crib

- Electric breast pump so I could make extra milk and save it for others or for later

- Because I am a restless one: Travel quilt for sleeping, and travel chair that hung from two table clamps for eating at friends' houses or when out. The travel quilt could be the same as one of those "baby gym" quilts, without the gym toys suspended over it.

- A zipper bag for sleeping. So much easier than cute little outfits, and more comfy for baby too.

- The cloth sling thing I used to carry her on my own body - from about 3 or 4 months to about 18 months, I think.

- A fabulous high chair, adjustable heights and positions, easy to clean, safe.

- My friends say, a head set, so they could use the phone hands-free and work from home on a full time basis.

- Cheerios. Cheerios cured everything and our European friends asked us to send them a box full of boxes of it.

- little cloth bear or doll that they loved on for years

 

The expensive strollers weren't worth the money, except for the one for running, later, and I never liked that stroller either, actually. I preferred to carry her on my body or go slowly so that she could walk herself. The baby crib was a luxury; I loved having baby in that little three-sided crib that was right next to me. In a few short months, though, she moved to her own crib in her own room. We could have made do for those first 2 or 3 months without that expensive three sided thing. We didn't need the diaper systems, the boppy thing, the new outfits, the room monitors...

 

Everything else -- toys, diaper systems, stuffed animals, outfits... we just didn't need the lot of it. Books, yes. Let everything in the house become her toys, yes. If it was dangerous, I moved it out of her reach. Otherwise, I didn't worry about the mess. Life's too short.

 

(2) I was able to work a full schedule at two months. I picked up consulting gigs along the way, little jobs that kept me in touch with work. I traded favors: I will mow your lawn if you will sharpen my kitchen knives sort of thing. Instead of spending cash, I spent knowledge and time. Mine went to work with me, sometimes, meetings with me, sometimes. I felt like, because I learned who they were even as babies, they trusted me and went with the flow easily. The second one was much harder for me to understand; I didn't understand her until 18 months, and she was sometimes a tyrant. I think her difficult periods go back to the fact that I didn't understand her when she was brand new. Now, wow, the level of trust is amazing. My biggest goal was learn the murmur language. Which peep was hungry, and which peep was happy. When babies cry because they are tired hungry and want to go home... why should that maake me mad - aren't we the same way? That is the logic I used as I came to understand mine. I respected them, even when brand new, and made it my job to learn their language. Made a schedule and stuck to it, and said "YES" to every little babble. I figured, they must be saying something important, lol. The payback is HUGE. My teen girls are the easiest kids to raise that I have ever heard of, frankly. We still can't afford the stuff; they are grateful for it. They see how they have skills to travel anywhere, to eat whatever is offered, to entertain themselves with pen, paper, and/or a book.

 

Yes, I get it, a baseline of health and safety are enormous gifts for which I am enormously grateful. Once that baseline is covered, if there is any left over put the rest into savings. Call it your peace of mind account. Kids don't need all the stuff we try to give them, and if they do, they don't need it new. Later, when they scrub the (already clean) pot for you so that you can focus on work, they will feel proud to have contributed important work to the household. You will win together, as a team.

 

Oh goodness I have written a novel. It is absolutely the craziest loveliest journey. However it works for you - that is how it is meant to be, presuming the basics of health and safety.

 

I am so excited for you.

[petite]

Things you need: crib & car seat

 

Things you can do without in the mean time:

- changing table, I never even used mine, I changed my daughter on the floor on a $5 mat.

- Playpen, never had one, don’t need it, the child is almost two years old and fine. Really no need for it, at all. Newborns and toddlers are around their parents 99% of the time anyway

- High chair - won’t need it until they are sitting up and eating solids.

- Dresser - go to IKEA or second-hand store or put the baby’s clothes with yours. You don't need it right now.

- Stroller you can do without initially because when they are tiny you can carry them without a problem. Most parents tend to carry their newborns in the car seat carrier thingy

 

Things you will always need:

- Clothes, diapers, bottles/sippy cups - that comes with the territory of having a child.

- Buy clothes at second-hand stores

- Look out for sales on bottles and diapers or ask a friend or colleague that has a Costco membership to get you some

- Make your own wipes or wash the baby. I never relied on wipes anyway, just used initially to clean then wash with water.

 

 

You don't need many extras, newborns really don't have a need for anything other than a place to sleep (often times on the parents chest), a clean nappy and a fed tummy. You can get some lovely blankets for $10 and realistically won't need more than two, and just get a swaddle for them to sleep in. We use a swaddle for our toddler still, and have never had sleep issues with her. Keeps them warm, safe from scratching and waking themselves and no need for a ton of extras like many pj's and whatnot.

 

 

Also, ask your friends if they (or people they know) have things you can part with, you'd be surprised how much stuff people have they don't need but don't want to throw away. My SIL was given by the wife of my husband's co-worker a ton of maternity clothes and baby items when she was pregnant the first time as she no longer needed them and they were in perfect condition.

[superfan]

I just realized who it is that originated this thread. Congrats!

 

(1) We could have spent so much less than we did. The most important things we bought/were gifted?

- Changing table because it was safe. Had we not had a furry cat, we could have used the floor, frankly. Use the safety belt. At 9 months, ours flipped off of it while with a care giver and went head first into the trash can. It was terribly scary, but actually she was 100% fine. Use the belt in the strollers too, same reason.

 

We don't plan to get a changing table, but that's one of the reasons why we want to get a playpen. Most of them come with an insert and a little change station on top which is portable. We too have a cat, so there are some concerns there. That must have been soooooo scary!

 

- Well made crib

- Electric breast pump so I could make extra milk and save it for others or for later

 

I am definitely going to need the breast pump since I plan to go back to work and the crib is essential (and SO SO expensive)

 

- The cloth sling thing I used to carry her on my own body - from about 3 or 4 months to about 18 months, I think.

- A fabulous high chair, adjustable heights and positions, easy to clean, safe.

- My friends say, a head set, so they could use the phone hands-free and work from home on a full time basis.

- Cheerios. Cheerios cured everything and our European friends asked us to send them a box full of boxes of it.

- little cloth bear or doll that they loved on for years

 

All very good ideas!

 

The expensive strollers weren't worth the money, except for the one for running, later, and I never liked that stroller either, actually. I preferred to carry her on my body or go slowly so that she could walk herself. The baby crib was a luxury; I loved having baby in that little three-sided crib that was right next to me. In a few short months, though, she moved to her own crib in her own room. We could have made do for those first 2 or 3 months without that expensive three sided thing. We didn't need the diaper systems, the boppy thing, the new outfits, the room monitors...

 

We don't plan to get the diaper system or the room monitor. We are in a two bedroom apartment. The diapers can be thrown down the laundry chute and the room is right next to ours and it's a pretty small apartment. I won't be able to carry Blobby for too long because I have a herniated back. Once he or she gets heavier than 10lbs, then either my husband has to carry him/her or I need a stroller.

 

(2) I was able to work a full schedule at two months. I picked up consulting gigs along the way, little jobs that kept me in touch with work. I traded favors: I will mow your lawn if you will sharpen my kitchen knives sort of thing. Instead of spending cash, I spent knowledge and time. Mine went to work with me, sometimes, meetings with me, sometimes. I felt like, because I learned who they were even as babies, they trusted me and went with the flow easily. The second one was much harder for me to understand; I didn't understand her until 18 months, and she was sometimes a tyrant. I think her difficult periods go back to the fact that I didn't understand her when she was brand new. Now, wow, the level of trust is amazing. My biggest goal was learn the murmur language. Which peep was hungry, and which peep was happy. When babies cry because they are tired hungry and want to go home... why should that maake me mad - aren't we the same way? That is the logic I used as I came to understand mine. I respected them, even when brand new, and made it my job to learn their language. Made a schedule and stuck to it, and said "YES" to every little babble. I figured, they must be saying something important, lol. The payback is HUGE. My teen girls are the easiest kids to raise that I have ever heard of, frankly. We still can't afford the stuff; they are grateful for it. They see how they have skills to travel anywhere, to eat whatever is offered, to entertain themselves with pen, paper, and/or a book.

 

There's a lot I am going to have to figure out very quickly lol. A lot of what I am able to do will also depend on my health and if my migraines return the way they did in the first trimester. I am hoping I will be able to do a good job, but it's pretty scary.

 

Yes, I get it, a baseline of health and safety are enormous gifts for which I am enormously grateful. Once that baseline is covered, if there is any left over put the rest into savings. Call it your peace of mind account. Kids don't need all the stuff we try to give them, and if they do, they don't need it new. Later, when they scrub the (already clean) pot for you so that you can focus on work, they will feel proud to have contributed important work to the household. You will win together, as a team.

 

Oh goodness I have written a novel. It is absolutely the craziest loveliest journey. However it works for you - that is how it is meant to be, presuming the basics of health and safety.

 

I am so excited for you.

 

lol thanks we are excited too (and terrified lol). It's the health and safety I am most concerned about. Luxury items have never even really crossed my mind as a possibility given how little we have. I just remember growing and knowing we were on the poor side and while it didn't always matter, did affect me at times. I have 3 other siblings and I was never able to go on any school trips because if my parents did it for me, they would have to do it for all 4 of us. If we were lucky enough to get "treats" in our groceries like chocolate milk, it was always mixed with white milk to make it go further. To this day I feel like I am breaking some sort of rule when I drink it straight from the container or pour myself a glass of JUST chocolate milk lol. Little things, but they make you worry.

[superfan]

Things you need: crib & car seat

 

Yup. Both are PRICEY from everything we have seen.

 

Things you can do without in the mean time:

- changing table, I never even used mine, I changed my daughter on the floor on a $5 mat.

- Playpen, never had one, don’t need it, the child is almost two years old and fine. Really no need for it, at all. Newborns and toddlers are around their parents 99% of the time anyway

- High chair - won’t need it until they are sitting up and eating solids.

- Dresser - go to IKEA or second-hand store or put the baby’s clothes with yours. You don't need it right now.

- Stroller you can do without initially because when they are tiny you can carry them without a problem. Most parents tend to carry their newborns in the car seat carrier thingy

 

We don't intend to get a changing table, but we do want a playpen for a few different reasons (most of them as I said come with little changing stations so that will be handy.) We also have a very curious kitty, so changing baby on the floor might be a bit annoying when she comes up and tries to cuddle lol.

 

We definitely need something to store the clothing. We can't fit any more clothes in our own dressers/closets, so we will need some kind of dresser.

 

As for carrying the baby, I herniated my back a couple of years ago so I can't carry anything over 10lbs for long periods of time. A stroller will help to alleviate that.

 

Things you will always need:

- Clothes, diapers, bottles/sippy cups - that comes with the territory of having a child.

- Buy clothes at second-hand stores

- Look out for sales on bottles and diapers or ask a friend or colleague that has a Costco membership to get you some

- Make your own wipes or wash the baby. I never relied on wipes anyway, just used initially to clean then wash with water.

 

We have gotten some stuff from Value Village already so definitely not opposed to second hand clothing, etc. We also have a Costco membership so I know that will help.

 

Also, ask your friends if they (or people they know) have things you can part with, you'd be surprised how much stuff people have they don't need but don't want to throw away. My SIL was given by the wife of my husband's co-worker a ton of maternity clothes and baby items when she was pregnant the first time as she no longer needed them and they were in perfect condition.

 

Most of my friends have already gotten rid of baby stuff and/or are not planning on having kids. A few have given us some things but maternity clothes are hard as I have a different body type from my friends. I had someone donate maternity stuff to me that didn't fit because my boobs are WAY bigger than hers to start with.

[IAmFCA]

lol thanks we are excited too (and terrified lol). It's the health and safety I am most concerned about. Luxury items have never even really crossed my mind as a possibility given how little we have. I just remember growing and knowing we were on the poor side and while it didn't always matter, did affect me at times. I have 3 other siblings and I was never able to go on any school trips because if my parents did it for me, they would have to do it for all 4 of us. If we were lucky enough to get "treats" in our groceries like chocolate milk, it was always mixed with white milk to make it go further. To this day I feel like I am breaking some sort of rule when I drink it straight from the container or pour myself a glass of JUST chocolate milk lol. Little things, but they make you worry.

 

Yes, I grew up drinking watered down powdered milk. My sibs and I tell each other funny memories of shaking the milk to mix it. Ick. We now are surrounded by a community that is many times wealthier than we are, even though we have a few hallmarks of our own. Other parents have criticized me for "letting" my kids take the bus... some of my kids' friends have "drivers" and most have multiple homes. Ha, as if I have a choice about getting to/from school. The people who share our values couldn't care less and admire the character that grows in our home garden.

 

BTW never once used a playpen. Cat was a non-issue. Apartments are tough because everything is so close, so I get it. My friends whose active twins were raised in an apartment simply got rid of everything, everything, except a couch, desk, and a dining room table and chairs. The chairs were stored on their backs under the table.

 

If I had owned a playpen, I am certain my #2 would not have tolerated it. She is my ADHD kid like me, and requires the appearance of self-governance in all things, even as an infant. Seeing walls around her? Yeah, that would not have worked. I couldn't let her near water, the street, anywhere, because she had to run into the middle of everything to feel and experience it. I love that about her.

 

I understand about migraines. For me, hormonally triggered, and mitigated significantly by diet and exercise. What I have done for myself is require the same respect for me from them as I would from anyone, and offer the same respect back. A mutual human level of mutual respect, not a hierarchial idea of respect. I think we are on a team, and their job is to trust, follow, and learn, and my job is facilitate their job - which means I am constantly learning from them as well. They can't trust me if I ignore, dismiss, turn on, or underestimate them -- or if I lie about my own limitations. Having kids forced me to FINALLY tell other people - Nope, can't do that. And to tell my fam, "I need 45 minutes by myself in the dark." If I tell my kids what I need, it lessens the degree to which they internalize it (I hope not at all, but what do I know).

 

The several years when one or the other was telling me they wanted to die, or hated me, or hated themselves... wow what hell. I brooked it with an open heart as often as I could, until they came out the other side. That was the hardest period - 7-8-9. Now, one of them says, and it is so funny, "Yes, I remember making you cry. That made me so happy."

 

Gee, thanks, love! ... Now we are like one big organism. Its just the coolest thing. Whatever you need for your back or your head or your heart... that is the most important thing, oddly, but true. They will become part of the team you create.

[petite]

Here you go, stroller and car seat $300 There are even cheaper ones that are under $200

 

 

Changing table from IKEA

$40 and $90

/

 

I have this one and I had the money to buy more expensive one, but there was no need. Never used it so I just placed clothes and pictures on it, lol.

/

 

 

Crib $159

 

 

Even better $298 and you get a changer, couple draws (all you need really for a newborn) and a crib

 

 

So far my tally is that for $600 you can get a crib with a changing table and a couple draws, plus stroller with a car seat. If you want cheaper you can get the cheaper items by browsing the net. Yes, $600 is pricey, but we know having children isn't cheap.

 

It comes down to what is important, what you can afford and what you should not be buying because it is not a necessity. If you want X items because you need it for X reason, then you're easily going to bring the price up.

[journeynow]

The problem with tutoring is that it would only be lucrative in the first 4 months of the baby's life (Feb-June). Nobody needs tutors during the summer (I have tried) and those will be the most intensive months with feeding/napping, etc.

 

It can't be "nobody" needs a summer tutor. Someone somewhere does, so don't throw out that idea. (Students in summer school, students who failed a course they are trying to make up for, students who want to get ahead.) You could offer a special summer rate, or a group tutoring, or something unique.

 

Don't panic, or stress, it won't help your energy or migraines or your baby. Do be attentive do options or possibilities, and brainstorm as a practice to come up with ideas unique to your situation.

 

I didn't have a maternity leave option, but stayed home for the most part the first few years and we scraped by. I always brought in some kind of income either working at home, or where I could bring my kids, or if I needed daycare traded babysitting with other stay at home mothers. Did not buy new for the babies except diapers (washed my own, no disposables). Car seat was bought through the hospital, or gifted from family. Clothes, crib, highchair, stroller, toys were neighborhood pass-alongs. Or buy from a consignment shop and then resell when no longer essential. Make your own baby food.

 

Other things we did to limit expenses was to move to where we could barter part of our rent by maintenance of the rest of the property, bought used cars (=old) so no monthly payment, no TV/Cable, cheap coffee, cooked from scratch...

 

Meet other parents to be through pre-natal classes or network. It helps to have a support network of other young parents.

[journeynow]

Join your local online Freecycle group, or local Facebook community group, and look for baby items there. Ours are constantly passing things along. It takes a village...

[IAmFCA]

Join your local online Freecycle group, or local Facebook community group, and look for baby items there. Ours are constantly passing things along. It takes a village...

 

Freecycle has been a huge blessing!

[abitbroken]

As far as summer tutors - kids get very behind over the summer if they are not natural readers. There are kids that need to catch up to their grade level on math, too. You could one on one tutor or even host a summer reading group where goals are set, etc.

 

As far as a changing table, there is a mat that has a molded appearance to conform to the shape of a baby that people buy to make a dresser, a bed, anything into a changing table. You could use the child's dresser or find something at thrift. My SIL and Brother use one. It works fine. When I was a baby, my mom just put a blanket on the floor and changed us there. You don't "need" a changing table. I would buy a car seat new, but some hospitals do rent newborn carseats out, then you can buy one that that will grow with the child and is for a baby that can support their head to age 2 or 3.

 

The only time I wouldn't get a crib new is if a family member or a friend's kid just grew out of their crib that was purchased new in the past 3 years or so and you checked the recall lists - I definitely wouldn't buy one at a yard sale for risk of buying something recalled. But within a family and you know that individual crib had no problems - I would cut a corner there. But otherwise, yeah - buy new.

 

If there are local swap sites, TONS of families get rid of a bunch of baby clothes for different ages and look for the bigger size. Let relatives buy the cute and dressy stuff that is expensive and make sure you have a couple of onesies.

 

My parents saved money by having a friend who had kids of similar age and twice a week, she would take us and twice a week, mom would take all of them to come play with us. It abled both moms to have part time jobs.

 

 

As far as family leave for your husband - can he split it up - like take 2-3 weeks when the baby is born, then take a few weeks or a day here and there once you go back to work? Does he have a job where he can change his shift, to work weekends, and a couple nights/afternoons so you only need a baby sitter two or three times a week for the in between hours between when he has to go to work and you come home?

[superfan]

Yes, I grew up drinking watered down powdered milk. My sibs and I tell each other funny memories of shaking the milk to mix it. Ick. We now are surrounded by a community that is many times wealthier than we are, even though we have a few hallmarks of our own. Other parents have criticized me for "letting" my kids take the bus... some of my kids' friends have "drivers" and most have multiple homes. Ha, as if I have a choice about getting to/from school. The people who share our values couldn't care less and admire the character that grows in our home garden.

 

Definitely don't live in that neighborhood lol. Here, most people are struggling just as much as we are.

 

BTW never once used a playpen. Cat was a non-issue. Apartments are tough because everything is so close, so I get it. My friends whose active twins were raised in an apartment simply got rid of everything, everything, except a couch, desk, and a dining room table and chairs. The chairs were stored on their backs under the table.

 

If I had owned a playpen, I am certain my #2 would not have tolerated it. She is my ADHD kid like me, and requires the appearance of self-governance in all things, even as an infant. Seeing walls around her? Yeah, that would not have worked. I couldn't let her near water, the street, anywhere, because she had to run into the middle of everything to feel and experience it. I love that about her.

 

Thankfully my husband is a very minimalist person so our apartment doesn't actually have a lot of "Stuff" in it cluttering it up. Both of us want the playpen for various reasons, the cat being one of them. My nephews absolutely LOVED their playpen and wanted to be in it all the time....other babies hate it. I realize it's a total gamble so if we did get one it would definitely be second hand (and my brother's wife's Mom might still have theirs, so we will have to ask)

 

I understand about migraines. For me, hormonally triggered, and mitigated significantly by diet and exercise. What I have done for myself is require the same respect for me from them as I would from anyone, and offer the same respect back. A mutual human level of mutual respect, not a hierarchial idea of respect. I think we are on a team, and their job is to trust, follow, and learn, and my job is facilitate their job - which means I am constantly learning from them as well. They can't trust me if I ignore, dismiss, turn on, or underestimate them -- or if I lie about my own limitations. Having kids forced me to FINALLY tell other people - Nope, can't do that. And to tell my fam, "I need 45 minutes by myself in the dark." If I tell my kids what I need, it lessens the degree to which they internalize it (I hope not at all, but what do I know).

 

The several years when one or the other was telling me they wanted to die, or hated me, or hated themselves... wow what hell. I brooked it with an open heart as often as I could, until they came out the other side. That was the hardest period - 7-8-9. Now, one of them says, and it is so funny, "Yes, I remember making you cry. That made me so happy."

 

Gee, thanks, love! ... Now we are like one big organism. Its just the coolest thing. Whatever you need for your back or your head or your heart... that is the most important thing, oddly, but true. They will become part of the team you create.

 

My husband is SO SO wonderful when I have a migraine so I KNOW he will be there to help when I am suffering, but if I am home alone with Blobby it will definitely limit what I am able to do. I get them SO SO much that sometimes I have to use the "spoon theory" and decide how much activity I can handle from day to day. Might impede my ability to interact with others, but I could likely attempt some kind of at home work.

[superfan]

Here you go, stroller and car seat $300 There are even cheaper ones that are under $200

 

 

Changing table from IKEA

$40 and $90

/

 

I have this one and I had the money to buy more expensive one, but there was no need. Never used it so I just placed clothes and pictures on it, lol.

/

 

 

Crib $159

 

 

Even better $298 and you get a changer, couple draws (all you need really for a newborn) and a crib

 

 

So far my tally is that for $600 you can get a crib with a changing table and a couple draws, plus stroller with a car seat. If you want cheaper you can get the cheaper items by browsing the net. Yes, $600 is pricey, but we know having children isn't cheap.

 

It comes down to what is important, what you can afford and what you should not be buying because it is not a necessity. If you want X items because you need it for X reason, then you're easily going to bring the price up.

 

Thanks for the links! $600 is no small change and I know that children cost a lot just didn't factor into the budget things like the extra $ our benefits will cost, etc. It's not something impossible but it definitely has left us stressed. I didn't even know how much was being taken off his paycheque for benefits until now. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to worry me.

[superfan]

It can't be "nobody" needs a summer tutor. Someone somewhere does, so don't throw out that idea. (Students in summer school, students who failed a course they are trying to make up for, students who want to get ahead.) You could offer a special summer rate, or a group tutoring, or something unique.

 

I have tried freelancing during the summer as well as joining tutoring organizations...there is absolutely no tutoring work where I live during the summer months. I have been attempting to find jobs doing that for 5 years now. Every summer when I get laid off I have to look for work and tutoring would be the most logical option, but sadly it just doesn't happen here.

 

Other things we did to limit expenses was to move to where we could barter part of our rent by maintenance of the rest of the property, bought used cars (=old) so no monthly payment, no TV/Cable, cheap coffee, cooked from scratch...

 

Meet other parents to be through pre-natal classes or network. It helps to have a support network of other young parents.

 

We have a used car we bought from my Mom. We haven't had cable in YEARS, and we always cook from scratch. We buy from Costco and store meat, etc. in the freezer in bulk. I have started attending a prenatal class, so we are hoping to make connections there.

[petite]

Thanks for the links! $600 is no small change and I know that children cost a lot just didn't factor into the budget things like the extra $ our benefits will cost, etc. It's not something impossible but it definitely has left us stressed. I didn't even know how much was being taken off his paycheque for benefits until now. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to worry me.

 

No, it isn't small change certainly. Did you not prepare for having a child financially, and factor in things that may pop up? Do you have savings?

 

You should probably have a discussion with him regarding withholding financial details, you're not a child that you can't handle it. You are expecting a baby he needs to be aware it's about teamwork. Worrying and being stressed is inevitable.

 

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[superfan]

As far as summer tutors - kids get very behind over the summer if they are not natural readers. There are kids that need to catch up to their grade level on math, too. You could one on one tutor or even host a summer reading group where goals are set, etc.

 

Yeah for whatever reason there just isn't any work in my area in the summer. I get laid off from my job every June and for years I attempted to find tutoring work only to end up taking other jobs to supplement it. I wish it was different here, but there just isn't anything during the summer months in the tutoring area.

 

You don't "need" a changing table. I would buy a car seat new, but some hospitals do rent newborn carseats out, then you can buy one that that will grow with the child and is for a baby that can support their head to age 2 or 3.

 

The only time I wouldn't get a crib new is if a family member or a friend's kid just grew out of their crib that was purchased new in the past 3 years or so and you checked the recall lists - I definitely wouldn't buy one at a yard sale for risk of buying something recalled. But within a family and you know that individual crib had no problems - I would cut a corner there. But otherwise, yeah - buy new.

 

I don't need a changing table, necessarily but I would like to have some method of changing Blobby above the cat so she can't nose her way in and get in the way of things lol. The crib I will need to get new for sure.

 

As far as family leave for your husband - can he split it up - like take 2-3 weeks when the baby is born, then take a few weeks or a day here and there once you go back to work? Does he have a job where he can change his shift, to work weekends, and a couple nights/afternoons so you only need a baby sitter two or three times a week for the in between hours between when he has to go to work and you come home?

 

No, we have to do it this way because of my job and his. He can't split shifts up or change his hours. He works a steady 9-5 for the head office of Goodlife Fitness. We essentially both work the same shift.