Cheeese Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 It wasn't too long ago she started acting real strange and distant towards me, we would have little to no communications throughout the day and she'd get mad real easily even when I was just asking about her day. If I remembered correctly, the last time we had a fight was during her period(this is the time of the month when she'd expect me to shower her with as much affection as I possible could), I told her that we should break up if we keep having the same argument time after time and she's not planning on improving herself. She started crying the whole night, I tried my best to persuade her but nothing works and she randomly asked me to wash her clothes which I didn't even bother on becoming a maid for her. I thought it was just one of those arguments where we'd hate each other for a couple of days, have some space to clear our minds and reconcile the next few days. I kept myself busy the few days after we had our argument not bothering her one bit and when I decided to reach out to her back, she'd act super strange and distance towards me like she was making a fool out of me, unleashing a fury on me trying to hurt me as bad as possible. I was super confused at that time feeling like my brain had jammed for a few sec but I didn't bother much about it and decided to plan a nice little movie date with her to see if we could get that spark back but of course, nothing worked. The date felt awkward like we're out on our first date, the conversation was forced and empty, the movie date was super confusing and the worst part was the sex felt like two magnetic repelling each other. She got the news that she'll be leaving to another state for college which she didn't tell me much about it and even faked her sadness to me. The last few weeks before she left, I was totally out of her radar as she was busy with everything from preparations to family farewell parties and I thought I should(again) give her the space to absolutely enjoy herself. After a few days of emotionally confused on why she isn't bothering on at least telling me 1% about her, we had a brief phone call and it was devastating that she was still strange/distance talking to me instead of excited/relieved that we finally get to talk. We met and she slept over my house as usual for the last time and it was one of the most upsetting meetups ever since we dated, there was a huge distance between us and the awkwardness was beyond imagination. I was feeling confused/worry/sad that she's not showing any signs of sadness/affection towards me instead she was actually trying to hurt me for the very last time intentionally acting shady and even feels mad, frustrated & forced when my little brother put her on the spot telling her to give me a one last hug. I wasn't even feeling any sadness/worry that I might miss her as I was still confused about the sudden huge gap between us. She started college and basically it was the beginning of the overdue ending to our relationship. The distance was getting more, the walls were getting big, the emotional attachment is on life support and the communications basically died. 3 months after we started long distance, we had less than 10 phones calls and I was basically talking to a wall almost everyday. She told me that I was suffocating her when I just wanted to have at least some communications since we weren't communicating at all and asked for some space from me. She'd post and writes shady stuff that would trigger me asking about her commitment to the relationship, only to have her threatening me break up(which is her typical mind manipulations) but would never really break up with me. I had gut feelings that she was acting like a single lady at college and found out she was actually having a close relationship with another guy in her class which I assume has a crush on her and the guy would keep posting photos of the two of them on his Facebook. I confronted her almost immediately and she got stressed out started to panic that I was able to proof it and had exposed her, and she tried to twist the guilt around me that I was adding stress in her life for accusing her. She started giving me the silent treatment afterwards and so far it's been 2 months but never changes anything about our relationship status in her social apps. It was one of the most crucial/confusing 2 months of my life, beating every bit of crucial/confusing struggles I ever had ranking it No.1. I was active, lost my appetite and had sleepless night like I was on meth backtracking trying to figure out which part of the relationship went wrong from the start. I'd start blowing up acting like a psychopath calling and bombarding her with text messages non-stop saying stuff that I couldn't even imagined saying it to her asking for a closure, but of course she continued on with the silent treatment and the new guy was benefiting from this. During that period of struggles I was actually doing my research on her personality and found out that she's actually a Narcissist, it blew up my mind reading tons of articles about Narcissist and how it match my own girlfriend perfectly. She was on "a mask" when I first meet her and as our relationship progressed & closer, she'd start showing her true self and it was one of the most bizarre thing I could ever imagine in a girl after realizing the existence of a Narcissist. I believe she's on the devalue/discarding stage to me as I stopped "supplying" to her Narcissism after being frustrated over and over again on her not wanting to treat me the same way I treated her but I realized after reading much about Narcissist, people like this has no empathy towards anyone emotionally and the only way you could have them on your side is when you "supply" them to their Narcissism. In other word, make her feel like a Princess / Superior. My girlfriend is not the type of girl that would be impressed by telling her how much you misses her, buying/doing sweet stuff for her, how much you want to spend time with her or even telling her how much you mean to her. She can only be impressed and actually starts appreciating when I tell her what I'm willing to do for her, what I do for her, believing her, be her knight in shining armour, sacrificing for her making her feel special by READING HER MIND and not having any expectations on her giving back. I figured out that she realized that I wasn't willing to do much on what she was expecting from me since she wasn't returning much of things that I'm willing to do for her, she sets me in the devalue/discard stage but right now after figuring out what a "narcissist supply" is, I'm actually having fun complimenting / making her feel special and I could the connection again with her. Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 What a complete waste of your time. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 You show no symptoms of her being narcissistic but you show plenty of symptoms that you are codependent in nature and you have a fear of being alone to the point that you put up with her indifference towards you instead of just breaking up with her so that you could free your heart and mind of her in order to find someone better suited to you. Get professional help for your poor personal boundaries, for your inability to leave someone that is clearly showing you that they don't really care. What was the point in you staying and taking her indifference and apathy towards you? Why do you do that to yourself? Link to comment
Theniceone Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Another thread about your supposedly ''narcissitic'' girlfriend?... I may be wrong but very simlar to another poster that suddendly stopped posting. I do not believe she is narcisstic...she just does not care about you and you are clinging to her. It does not matter is she is or not and get professional help. Link to comment
Theniceone Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 I think you should check out the threads made by this guy: noahnoah story so similar to yours. I advise you to check the advice on his numerous threads if indeed you are not one and the same. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 I have never read so much crap in all my life op and anyone give so much effort to a dead end situation and an online diagnosis . Link to comment
alli Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 The thing that surprised me the most was when you said "3 months after starting long distance". I can't believe you guys didn't just break up the last time you were in person or shortly after, much less drag it out for months. Why are you still together? Neither of you are happy & it's quite obvious this is going no where. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Throughout your threads, you've accused your ex of being a manipulative narcissist .... so, as per your thread title, you are actually going to fight fire with fire. Good luck with that! I'm actually having fun complimenting / making her feel special and I could the connection again with her. Am I reading this right, you're basically feeding her ego in the hope of gaining her interest again and you've somehow convinced yourself that it is all just for YOUR fun? Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Throughout your threads, you've accused your ex of being a manipulative narcissist .... so, as per your thread title, you are actually going to fight fire with fire. Good luck with that! Am I reading this right, you're basically feeding her ego in the hope of gaining her interest again and you've somehow convinced yourself that it is all just for YOUR fun? ^^^^^ I know right bluey ..it is terrible !! Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 You show no symptoms of her being narcissistic but you show plenty of symptoms that you are codependent in nature and you have a fear of being alone to the point that you put up with her indifference towards you instead of just breaking up with her so that you could free your heart and mind of her in order to find someone better suited to you. Get professional help for your poor personal boundaries, for your inability to leave someone that is clearly showing you that they don't really care. ^ This is worth repeating. OP, your girlfriend is NOT a narcissist and she is not the one with the problem - YOU are. I strongly advise you seek professional counseling/therapy to help you overcome your many issues. That said, you two are a bad match and it will never work. Do both of you a favor and end it already. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Throughout your threads, you've accused your ex of being a manipulative narcissist .... so, as per your thread title, you are actually going to fight fire with fire. Sometimes manipulative narcissists go around accusing others of being who they are! Link to comment
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