The Self-Esteem Thread

[imsuperman]

My accomplishment yesterday was working an extra two hours and getting everything done.

[Lucia Amman]

My accomplishment was: getting my car to the garage for some minor fix ups.

My mom was so kind to pick me up with the kids.

We went out for lunch and my sister joined us too.

I got a birthday present from my mom: a large shell chandelier! Hope bf likes it too.

I cleaned my house, took a long bath and overall enjoyed the sunny weather!

 

I had zero anxiety problems with the three phone calls my garage made while my mom was sitting next to me. Usually this causes some anxiety for me. But not today. So I was quite glad about that.

 

Yesterday evening I went to yoga again because today I was carless. I'm excited that I begin to enjoy the yoga routine again. I don't feel like a beginner anymore and it's a tiny boost for my self esteem every time I make it to class

[SpottiOtti]

My accomplishment for today was cancelling a couple of subscriptions I'd been meaning to cancel for awhile - you know, one of those little annoying things you put off.

 

Something positive about today is that I didn't feel anxious at all.

 

Something I'm looking forward to tomorrow is a get-together with some friends from work.

 

Something positive about life in general right now is that the veil of anxiety and sadness that I couldn't manage to raise last couple of weeks has finally lifted, and I feel back to myself again.

[Lucia Amman]

Postive: I had a horrible night but was very productive in the morning.

Looking forward: to celebrating my birthday for the very first time.

[SpottiOtti]

^^^ That sounds like a story I'd like to hear.

 

My accomplishment for today was leaving the house (been sick). Also, I recently began work on a presentation I've been wanting to put together for awhile.

 

Something positive about today: I felt better than I have in days, and I tried a new restaurant which did not disappoint.

 

Something I'm looking forward to tomorrow: Starting a new project at work, and dinner party with the girls.

[imsuperman]

Yesterday I had tired legs during basketball, and only scored a handful. Between games, I snapped off a shot from maybe forty-five feet that went straight in only touching the net. There were only two or three other guys in the gym because everybody else was getting water. They laughed and smiled. One said, "My God!" I'm strong enough to shoot those with pretty normal jumpshot form. I don't flail around or lean into them a great deal.

 

I smiled.

[Seraphim]

I got really good boosts today. A woman that I really respect told me I have been an outstanding parent and that's why my son copes so well with the world and has done enormously well despite having no therapy for his autism. She said it has been a combined effort of a really good kid and really good parenting.

 

 

Another lady whose children I was looking after today said oh I really trust (my name) she is a really good child care provider.

[itsallgrand]

Getting things done off my list. I forgot how satisfying it can be to immerse yourself in accomplishment. Get it done!! ahh, that feels better. And I am feeling better.

[Sportster2005]

My frustration is inconsistent self-esteem. Sometimes I feel I got this. Then some days I'm a ball of depressed anxiety.

 

One of the reasons I recently had to stop hanging with a friend was because of my sometimes poor self-esteem. She turned me down once in the spring, and this past September re-acquainted. The day I asked her out she had another date. She ended up in a relationship with him. Now I know we all have preferences, and this sort of the thing should never be taken personal. She just doesn't feel it for me.

 

But what happened she would bring him up once in a while. And she would say things like, "he was way too old for me, I don't like guys that old". Other times she would say he had a really bad personality. And I would reflexively say to myself "yet you picked him over me". Which only serves to make me feel like crap. I would just realize once again it's an irrational thought, shake it off, whatever. For whatever reason I'm not her cup of tea, he was. Then one night we were on the conversation and she went on about how he was too skinny and she couldn't stand him touching her, and he was really annoying and blah blah. And all I could think of is "yet you picked him over me". Then she starts showing me some of the guys she's talking to on online data sites. She says I'm not sure about this one. Shows me a picture. And then shows me the jokes he sends her. Jokes about putting the wife and dog in the trunk and the one that escapes is the one that really loves you. And I'm just thinking "Wow you would even consider dating a misogynist jack >>>> than me". Am I that revolting to women?

 

I don't hang with her anymore. The frustration I find is sometimes when I was with her I couldn't care less. If that's the guy she chose, whatever. Other times I would feel jealous and bitter. The other frustration is even though I recognize irrational thoughts and feelings, it doesn't stop them from happening. In this particular case I just had to stop hanging around with her. That's not the entire reason.

 

I just stayed away from a source of something that for right or wrong impacted my self-esteem.

[SpottiOtti]

Lately I've been trying very hard to come to terms with getting older, and to learn not to tie my self-worth and esteem to physical appearance. I can try to stay in shape, wear sunscreen, eat right, etc., but the passage of time is non-negotiable. There's only so much I can do; I've just got to accept that.

[Sportster2005]

Lately I've been trying very hard to come to terms with getting older, and to learn not to tie my self-worth and esteem to physical appearance. I can try to stay in shape, wear sunscreen, eat right, etc., but the passage of time is non-negotiable. There's only so much I can do; I've just got to accept that.

 

I struggled with this leading up to my 50th birthday, and then a couple of years after. I worried about my thinning hair, muscle mass loss, wrinkles etc. Then I realized everyone in my age group is going through similar struggles. I didn't feel the burden as much. And I realized all the things you mention not only slow the aging process, it leads to better quality of life.

[imsuperman]

I've learned just saying what's on my mind at work is best. If something is stupid and time-consuming, I speak up. Even if it only concerns me at first glance, I speak up. I look at it like I have a job to do like everybody else. And I need to focus on the important areas where I can help everyone else, not just meaningless bs.

[WithLove]

Today I'm wearing jeans that I've never been able to fit into before.

[TwixSense]

One thing thats helped me is to focus more on building character, and to greatly lessen my focus on appearance

 

 

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[SpottiOtti]

I realized recently that I tend to shame myself - for example, last week at work I got a bit stressed out and sort of lost my cool a bit. It matters a lot to me that I keep my cool, because I don't want anyone to know they have the power to affect me (professionally, not personally). I realized while journaling afterward that I had shamed myself for it - my self-talk was replete with "should"s and "shouldn't"s. Like, "You've been doing this long enough, what's wrong with you? You should be able to keep your cool."

 

I've done so much work on my negative and critical self-talk (internalized from my father growing up), but I guess the work never ends, right? I know that Brene Brown has a book about shame called "I thought it was just me" or something like that, so I plan to get a copy and see what insights I come up with, and also to keep aware of times I begin to shame myself.