Lilly2011 Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 My sons father broke up with me 3 days before I gave birth & jumped into a new relationship the next day. Now she's 2 months pregnant. He is denying our son, he doesn't come see him, he doesn't buy him anything & he doesn't even ask how hes doin . I told him I was going to put him on child support because hes not helping me & he always tell me he has to see when I tell him he needs things.. Now he saying hes going to court to get full custody. He is an unfit parent & he has a nasty attitude to where he is capable of hurting our son. And he didnt sign the birth certificate. If he go to court first can he get full custody? Please need advice now!! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 I would call a family law lawyer and file for full legal custody on Monday. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 I would seek legal counsel, ASAP. In the meantime you need to document any and all communication. Link to comment
Pixels Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 First... Contact a lawyer ASAP... You can likely get a consultation to understand your situation for free (or negotiate a reasonable arrangement if they take your case). You're specifically looking for a lawyer who deals in family law. You may even consider notifying local police of your situation in case he tries to demand that your son live with him for any reason before the court date.... From my own personal experiences, this really depends where you live because laws vary from place to place, however generally speaking the main concern of the law is to provide what's deemed best for the child... Often, the law considers the child's best interests to be growing up with both biological parents in their lives, unless one parent is deemed unfit, or resigns their rights... There's often some bias in favour of the mother in these cases... Anyways, that's arguable and not the main point. In order to gain full custody of your son he would essentially have to prove that contact with you is detrimental to his development and well-being... HOWEVER... The fact that he refused to sign the child's birth certificate, and has failed to seek an agreement for child support could be seen as indication that he doesn't have the child's best interests in mind, and isn't suited to support him... I can say for certain that where I live, you cannot claim child support from someone who makes less than a minimal threshold. I think it's around $15,000/year (Thus the saying, you can't squeeze blood from a stone). So a lack of child support in itself wont condemn him... Rest assured though, he can't just take the kid from you, at worst he can try to enforce his visitation rights at this point. Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 He's likely to be playing a power game with you. You want to get a support order, he thinks you're "stealing" from him, then there are all these demands that follow, along with threats of getting full custody of your child to frighten and intimidate you into not getting a support order. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I will ALWAYS tell someone to take that threat seriously, only because no one is a mind reader, and on the off 0.02 percent chance this guy actually follows through, you don't want to have been sitting back smugly thinking "this guy is full of hot air." So, it's ALWAYS good to be prepared and treat it like a possibility. If parentage wasn't established, then that is the first step when it comes to unmarried couples. Are you low income? You may qualify for legal assistance, whether that means pro bono services(probably unlikely) or getting step by step help to file what you need to file and represent yourself(very likely). If you can afford an attorney, get one. Those sorts of threats sent me over the edge and having an attorney gave me a certain degree of peace of mind. If you can borrow from family, do it. Loans...Do it. Link to comment
mhowe Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 If he isn't listed on the birth certificate he first has to prove he is the father of the child. Then he has to petition the court. Etc, etc, etc. Get your ducks in a row with an attorney. Link to comment
chitown9 Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 You should get legal advice promptly to get child support established. Child custody is not based on who filed first. He is not going to pay you anything for supporting this child unless it is ordered, so get busy. chi Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Legal counsel ASAP and gather documents showing he abandoned you and your baby for another woman. No, getting there first is NOT the be-all/end-all of custody issues. Witnesses, documentation, a better lawyer, those things all are. And stop all communication with him except by email AND do what your attorney tells you. Or you could just file for parental rights termination. Then he would be out of the picture altogether. True you wouldn't get child support, but he also wouldn't be doing something weird just to get back at you or trying to get custody. He sounds vindictive, is this who you want your child to have for a parent? But right now get family and friends to make up affidavits swearing he left you, any birth records showing you were the only one at the hospital, save any emails or phone messages etc. And call an attorney now. Also if he wasn't even there to sign the birth certificate there's no legal proof he is the father. Get that document to your attorney above all else, this alone shows he wasn't involved in the child's life in any way. Make sure you get an original notarized copy of that now in case your ex decides to doctor a fraudulent birth certificate. Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 PP, I'm not sure where you live that parental rights termination is so painless. I wish I lived there! I'm stuck until I get remarried. And even that it's not completely certain, if my ex didn't agree to it. Link to comment
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