sushiboat Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 As the title of this thread states, I'd like to know when each of you lovely people got over your last significant other. Mind you, I mean completely over them. Meaning you do not pine over the person, and no longer care whether you get back together or not. You don't have to tell us exactly when it happened; estimate if you have to. My theory is that in doing this, it will show others that it most definitely is possible to get over a relationship, even when you feel like moving on is impossible; it just takes time. Maybe it will give someone hope, who knows! I'll start us off: I was with my ex for a couple months, and fell hard for him fast. Though short, it was quite serious until he started falling for my cousin instead. We swiftly broke up after he finally told me, because neither of us liked the idea of me being strung along. Back then, I felt like my whole world had shattered before me, and I even felt like I wouldn't be able to love anyone else like that again. Dramatic, I know. It took me longer than expected to let the past go, but that was about 7 months ago now; and I couldn't be happier! I don't know exactly when my feelings for him stopped, but they did! Being free of the extra baggage is such a wonderful thing I tell you. Maybe I was never really in love with him in the first place. No, I never got into a rebound relationship, and yes I'm still single; not that I mind! In fact, being single doesn't bother me anymore, and I could care less whether my ex ever comes back looking for a second chance or not! Screw that. Getting back together with him used to mean everything to me, but now I know I deserve way better. I deserve someone with feelings that could rival the test of time. You see, if I can heal and move on, you can, too! Never doubt how strong your heart is. Time heals all wounds, and love will never stop coming to find you when you least expect it. If you already have gotten over the ex, please share your story with us all, and be sure to tell us how long it took for you to fully let go! Thanks in advance everybody. Link to comment
Mischa234 Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I broke up a month ago from a nearly 3 yr relationship and it took me about a week at most, but that was more just the stress of having to move out and deal with outside pressures. Link to comment
daddids Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I broke up with my 4 year gf back in 2012. We were pretty messed up for the past 2-3 months so it took me less than 1 month to get over her. 2 months after the break up with her, I fell for a girl who I was with for 2 very intense months. This one took me over 6 months to fully get over. Link to comment
Willywagtail Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I was married for 12 years. It took me 4 years before I could truly say I was over him. Link to comment
Clinton Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 It took me about 18 months to feel really good about things after my marriage ended. But it was another 3 and a half years before she had absolutely no effect on me. We had joint custody so saw each other frequently Link to comment
jennylove Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 When my 3 year rship ended, it took me 1 year before I realized that I wasn't thinking about him nearly as much. At the 18th month, We bumped into eachother and seeing him, with his gf, did not phase me at all. Link to comment
Realitynut Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Depends on who's doing the dumping...and if you're still 'in love', or if it's mutual. Got divorced after 20 years....didn't care. But then again, I met the guy who brought me here, a month after i got an order of protection out on my husband. That guy, I thought was 'put there by God for me'. Now when you are into thinking that way, it's really hard to think it's not meant to be!!!! Long story....I was a nut...we were engaged after 3yrs. ...he cheated. Back and forth with me and other woman for another 8 months. 4 months i cried every damn day. Good 2 years...i was still pining. And on dating sites...but nothing worked. Then met the guy I'm pining over now. WE were friends for many months...many...and i started having fun. Finally in Oct of 2013...I told mom...I am finally happy again. I joined this site in 2010. Soooo....took me 3 years. But that's because i found someone that made me laugh. We didn't become intimate for 6 more months. And now that's gone to sheet in a handbag. I don't expect this one to last so long....because i never expected to marry him. The other one, i already had my dress, and was writing out the guest list...ugh Also, I just turned 60. It's not like I'm in my 20's and got a whole heck of a lot of time to 'find the one'....or Just be single and enjoy being alone....I mean...time's running out!!! lol But I'd rather be alone than with someone i don't even LIKE! Link to comment
DepthOfField Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Everyone and every relationship is different. 4 Year relationship (I was dumped) ... Took 1 Full year of no relationships/hookups for a complete recovery 2 Year Relationship (I dumped her) ... Took 1 week and was ready to move on 3.5 year Relationship (I pretty much forced her to dump me) ... Took 8 months 4 month relationship ... 3 months and counting. Link to comment
villagehero Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 It took me about 18 months to feel really good about things after my marriage ended. But it was another 3 and a half years before she had absolutely no effect on me. We had joint custody so saw each other frequently I can relate to you Clint. It's been 18 months since the breakup and I feel miles better than before but she still has some effect on me, especially since I, too, share joint custody and see her constantly. She's already in another relationship so let's just say she moved on a while back but I still long for her and my daughter. I'm hopeful that either something works out between us in the future or I can truly move on in the sense of her not having any emotional effect on me. 9 years is not an easy number to shake off. Link to comment
Clinton Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I can relate to you Clint. It's been 18 months since the breakup and I feel miles better than before but she still has some effect on me, especially since I, too, share joint custody and see her constantly. She's already in another relationship so let's just say she moved on a while back but I still long for her and my daughter. I'm hopeful that either something works out between us in the future or I can truly move on in the sense of her not having any emotional effect on me. 9 years is not an easy number to shake off. No it's not. I was with my ex for about 11 years. She had an affair and married the guy. They are still married some 20 years later. But I look back at it today and I can barely remember I was married. Life is very, very good. My kids survived and I have a great relationship with them. It just took a lot of work. But it was worth every second of pain I endured. We all get to that stage where the relationship fades. It just takes time. You'll get there too. Link to comment
mandeelove Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 7 month relationship....its been 3 months amd counting......5 ur relationship took me a month. And 1 year relationship took me a year Link to comment
sadchick83 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 The minute I met someone 100 times better than him....an easy task Link to comment
DepthOfField Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 7 month relationship....its been 3 months amd counting......5 ur relationship took me a month. And 1 year relationship took me a year Goes to show there is no magic number or formula. Link to comment
mandeelove Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Goes to show there is no magic number or formula. Yes its true! Sometimes shorter relationships can hold more meaning than long ones. Link to comment
DepthOfField Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Sometimes shorter relationships can hold more meaning than long ones. 100% true. Short term relationships can actually be harder to get over because they don't "run their course" and you have attachments to the hopes & dreams that and memories/plans that never took place. I'm getting over a 4 month relationship and it's been the HARDEST one to get over. Plus getting broken up with during the honeymoon period is AWFUL. Link to comment
mandeelove Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 100% true. Short term relationships can actually be harder to get over because they don't "run their course" and you have attachments to the hopes & dreams that and memories/plans that never took place. I'm getting over a 4 month relationship and it's been the HARDEST one to get over. Plus getting broken up with during the honeymoon period is AWFUL. Wow thats what happened to me. It was only 6 months and still the honeymoon phase. Everything was good and then he blind sided me so Im in the thick of the emotions, with no real bad memories to hate this guy for , so Im having a tough time. Link to comment
mandeelove Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Why did u break up with your partner? @depthoffield Link to comment
DepthOfField Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Trust issues/signs of cheating. Hardest breakup I've ever been through. Link to comment
mandeelove Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Trust issues/signs of cheating. Hardest breakup I've ever been through. I read your thread. I can really relate to it plus the frustration when people say "just get over it" .hate that! Good luck in getting through it. I agree, its one of the toughest things to love someone and cant have them whether its 3 months or 3 years. Link to comment
Kah310392 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I was coming up to a year and a half and nearly over him after a 2 year relationship but we had contact throughout our break up but I started to date somebody else it was just about to get serious and he popped back up and I went straight back I was probably really close to moving on he came back a little too soon for me. I don't regret it we spent another good year together but trying to move on again now hurts Link to comment
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