marshmallito Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I have just met and agreed to go on a first date with a domestic pilot. His first impression seems polite, nice and enthusiastic. Considering fidelity is important to me, is dating a pilot a waste of my time? I am sure that the stereotype exists for a reason, but is it that pervasive that pilots should be assumed unfaithful? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I haven't really understand pilots to necessarily have a "fidelity" issue, so that's new to me. I have heard it about military personnel though - so that's different. I wouldn't consider it a waste of time. Link to comment
notalady Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I don't think anyone should be simply assumed to be unfaithful just because of their profession (unless they are prostitutes then it could be debateable). Pilots might have more opportunities to "commit the crime" since they are away a lot, but so are a lot of other professions that requires a lot of travel or away time. Link to comment
marshmallito Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 I thought pilots "having a girl in every port" was a common worldwide stereotype... Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 You need to understand that just because it's a sterotype, doesn't make it a fact. No reason not to date the guy, but at the same time, be aware that you won't have a "normal" relationship, in that you need to be prepared that you'll see him at very random times and not regularly. Can you deal with that? Link to comment
marshmallito Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 Yes I understand the stereotype concept. I am also aware there aren't statistics to prove or disprove this one. Hence the question regarding this particular stereotype to the forum. I was hoping someone with industry knowledge might share their views. Link to comment
Jeffbobo Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I have a good single friend who is a commercial pilot. He has some great stories. He doesn't have a "girl in every port" but rather, has the opportunity to cast a wider net over the globe for a woman he finds desirable. His work schedule sucks so if you can deal with him being gone for periods of time... A lot of woman find him attractive because, well, he's a pilot; certainly well traveled, percieved as exciting, bold, daring, etc. They know their value with woman. I guess it really all boils down to two things. First, taking it for what it is; head the stereotype, don't rush in, take it slow and don't go in blind. Second thing is trust. Link to comment
missmarple Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I don't believe in stereotypes. I know someone who is a teacher and cheats on his g/f all the time and one of my friends is a male model who has been with the same girl for 3 years, loves her to death and would never even consider cheating on her. Treat him like any other guy Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I have just met and agreed to go on a first date with a domestic pilot. His first impression seems polite, nice and enthusiastic. Considering fidelity is important to me, is dating a pilot a waste of my time? I am sure that the stereotype exists for a reason, but is it that pervasive that pilots should be assumed unfaithful? Stereotypes exist for a reason. Not a good reason. Stereotypes are basically born of hatred and/or discrimination. Treat him like any other human being. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 My best friend is a flight attendant. She has scores of stories of all sorts of shenanigan's that go on while on the road. Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 My bigger thought is ----- is he a pilot, or saying he is a pilot so he can pull the "unavailable" routine. Link to comment
greta96 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 My experience: I knew a pilot and he was very interested in me. I would see him sometimes when I was out with friends, and he'd spend the whole evening by my side, always polite and nice. For some unknown reason, he thought it would be a great idea to tell me about his sex escapades, both with the airline staff and women in whatever cities he would travel to. He said most of the crew was cheating, and that monogamy wasn't the norm for those in this industry. He disclosed this to me right after I gave him my phone number lol. So when a few days later he texted me to meet for dinner, obviously I politely declined and told him it wasn't going to work between us. He turned into the most verbally abusive person I had ever known, he texted me relentlessly for days, calling me very bad names and basically acting like a nutjob. I had to threaten to go to the Police for harassment. Now it doesn't mean all pilots are the same, we can't generalize. But after this experience, I would not date a pilot, he turned me off of them forever. The thought that people like him have my life in their hands when I fly scares me a lot. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Well, most of the research I've seen says that a main predictor of infidelity is opportunity, and in that sense, sure, pilots have a lot of opportunity. That being said, I wasn't aware of this stereotype either, and I have a number of pilot friends and family whose faithfulness I would be willing to vouch for. I think the biggest issue with this will be that since you already have this negative impression and this fear, you are more likely to feel suspicious and insecure of him, even if he has done nothing wrong. I'm dating someone from a group stereotyped for being cheaters (in two ways, his culture and his job!!), and my negative stereotypes of his culture and profession have definitely made me less trusting, more suspicious and more insecure than I have been in other relationships, in a way that has not been helpful at all. If you were to start dating him, you'd have to make a big effort and commitment to not foist your own negative assumptions onto him. Link to comment
Trinity11 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 OP how did this turn out? Link to comment
IvanKaramazov Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Since we're in the mood for sweeping generalizations, what do they say about scientists? All those conferences we go to, late nights in the 'lab' just excuses for chronic philandering? Maybe this is why I can't get a date. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Since we're in the mood for sweeping generalizations, what do they say about scientists? All those conferences we go to, late nights in the 'lab' just excuses for chronic philandering? Maybe this is why I can't get a date. haha I am A HUGE big bang fan ..do you watch it ? I think that show has done wonders for sexy and brains all rolled into one Link to comment
IvanKaramazov Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 haha I am A HUGE big bang fan ..do you watch it ? I think that show has done wonders for sexy and brains all rolled into one I don't, I generally only watch movies, especially classic ones. The stereotypes on that show can't be too accurate: Believe it or not I have never watched a single episode of Star Trek, nor read a single comic book. A feat even for the most unambiguously non-'nerdy' people. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I don't, I generally only watch movies, especially classic ones. The stereotypes on that show can't be too accurate: Believe it or not I have never watched a single episode of Star Trek, nor read a single comic book. A feat even for the most unambiguously non-'nerdy' people. yes sorry I didn't mean to imply that anyone with a good brain going on will be a a big bang character double ..it was more tongue in cheek ..but now you have shamed me cos I am huge trekky fan as well hahaha ..the show is genius..I have ocd and one of the characters clearly has it and it is done very very well . Link to comment
IvanKaramazov Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 yes sorry I didn't mean to imply that anyone with a good brain going on will be a a big bang character double ..it was more tongue in cheek ..but now you have shamed me cos I am huge trekky fan as well hahaha ..the show is genius..I have ocd and one of the characters clearly has it and it is done very very well . I was joking. I just never got into the habit of using emoticons. For some reason, I went a different way, instead of science fiction, I ended up interested in classical literature. Hence my handle (a character from a Dostoevsky novel). His novels have their share of characters with psychological problems (or perhaps just middle class ennui) I could say I sympathize with. Including Ivan Karamazov. Link to comment
marshmallito Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Sorry, my notifications aren't working for this forum. He seemed a perfect gentleman. We had a nice time but ended due to other incompatibilities. Link to comment
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