Tanzi Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Thanks for good comments a-little-blue. The only thing I really regret is saying those words to her that day, other than that I think I was always nice to her. Do you think a time is my friend here? What I mean, if I don't contact her now at all, but contact her in several weeks, will it have higher chances for something to workout as opposed to if I would contact her now? She is also leaving the country for a week soon, and was always asking me if I will be missing her when she arrives and if I will meet her. Not that it really matters now I think you need to leave it. As I said before I think the only chance you would have is if you were to start from the beginning and become her friend again (seeing as you cross paths anyway) and see if you can build upon that. Link to comment
childintime Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 I think you need to leave it. As I said before I think the only chance you would have is if you were to start from the beginning and become her friend again (seeing as you cross paths anyway) and see if you can build upon that. Hmmm maybe you are right, but I am not sure about that, because it will always be awkward if we meet and pretend like there was nothing between us. I somehow think that being direct is better in this case. Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 You don't understand. I am not talking about what I said that day like "shut up" - that's very impolite and I completely agree that no one likes it. But little sarcasm or mini things which make her feel little bit bad on herself are sometimes good. Maybe you think it's not case for you, but I definitely know women who enjoy that and it's a fact. . Oh please. You've been on too many PUA forums. Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Hmmm maybe you are right, but I am not sure about that, because it will always be awkward if we meet and pretend like there was nothing between us. I somehow think that being direct is better in this case. At only one month, I would say that there's not much between you two. For all you know, she just decided that you two weren't compatible. I think you are overthinking this. Link to comment
childintime Posted October 12, 2014 Author Share Posted October 12, 2014 At only one month, I would say that there's not much between you two. For all you know, she just decided that you two weren't compatible. I think you are overthinking this. I think also maybe the problem was that we in fact spent too much time together for the beginning and she got bored of me. As far as I know it would be better to limit our together in the beginning so I still look more mysterious in her eyes. Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I think limiting time together would have been a good idea. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Then let me ask you, when do girls give guys another shot then? As I said before, it's not like I cheated on her or lied or where not honest in any way, etc. I mean it's probably one of the least bad things you can do (unintentionally insult person), at least how I see it. And about investing.. Well I really enjoyed spending every minute with her, and so did she, so I see no reason to limit ourselves. There is no answer about when anyone gives anyone else a shot. But it's more likely when there was a long relationship when love was established. This was only a month. I think you need to stop "bargaining" in your head and just respect her wishes - let it go. Link to comment
childintime Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 Update: so yesterday after 3.5 weeks she contacted me and wanted to walk with me and talk.. She was having a hard time because her friend 'betrayed' her or something. Now I know what you think "she just want someone to talk to and not to feel alone", which is actually true I think. But that said I still think she is somehow into me, and I asked her if she wants to be "friends" again. And she said she wants to be friends, and can't say if she wants something more right now because she is having hard time now. Anyways, what she says (and I am pretty sure it's true), she is afraid to be date someone because she always thinks that that person will cause her pain in the end. How do I prove that I won't do that? I shouldn't force it right? But at the same time I definitely DO NOT WANT to be just her friend. Should I ask her "so you want to date me or not?" or it's too straightforward? Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 You of all people cannot "prove" you won't hurt her because your sense of humor is so sarcastic and cruel. No, you don't ask a girl "so, do you want to date me or not" because the answer 100% of the time will be NOT. Since you don't want to be her friend, leave her alone. She was desperate for someone to talk to and she mistakenly called you. She isn't interested in dating you. Link to comment
childintime Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 You of all people cannot "prove" you won't hurt her because your sense of humor is so sarcastic and cruel. Well, but even though I am so cruel and bad, somehow she still came to me? Maybe I am not THAT bad after all. P.s. that was sarcasm by the way. Anyways, I would prefer male opinion on this, because you ladies, are SO biased towards females it's hard to keep it realistic. Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 Sorry....she was desperate and you are trying to capitalize on her vulnerability. You should wear a warning sign. And to clarify, I said your SENSE OF HUMOR was sarcastic and cruel, not you. Please read carefully. Link to comment
childintime Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 Sorry....she was desperate and you are trying to capitalize on her vulnerability. You should wear a warning sign. And to clarify, I said your SENSE OF HUMOR was sarcastic and cruel, not you. Please read carefully. Alright, then I will just ask straightforwardly, do you think (or feel) she still likes me and think we can once again date, or she was just very lonely and desperate like you said and that's it? Either way, I got one more chance, and she said she wants me to be friends and again do sports together, but I don't want to be JUST friends. Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 Alright, then I will just ask straightforwardly, do you think (or feel) she still likes me and think we can once again date, or she was just very lonely and desperate like you said and that's it? Either way, I got one more chance, and she said she wants me to be friends and again do sports together, but I don't want to be JUST friends. One more time: she isn't interested in dating you. She was lonely and desperate and didn't have someone else to talk to. She chose poorly. If you don't want to be friends and do sports, leave her be and seek new prey. Link to comment
childintime Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 One more time: she isn't interested in dating you. She was lonely and desperate and didn't have someone else to talk to. She chose poorly. If you don't want to be friends and do sports, leave her be and seek new prey. "Prey"? Sounds so feminist That's why I don't like female opinions on this forums tbh, it's so biased. Anyways, I kind of agree with you on what you said before, but want more opinions. Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 You aren't looking for a gf....you are looking for an object. That isn't a relationship goal....that is a hunt and capture goal. Hence..."prey". Link to comment
childintime Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 You aren't looking for a gf....you are looking for an object. That isn't a relationship goal....that is a hunt and capture goal. Hence..."prey". What are you talking about? I was dating this girl for a month without sex, having great time, etc. I wanted her to be my gf and I would like that now. I want her to feel good with me, etc. I don't know what else do I need to say so you will believe me, it's getting ridiculous to be honest. How in the world a guy liking some girl and wanting to date her tries "to hunt and capture goal"? Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 She can't feel good with you...you kept hurting her. Wow...a whole month and no sex? Link to comment
childintime Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 She can't feel good with you...you kept hurting her. Wow...a whole month and no sex? Yes, she is conservative girl. Anyways I am not interested in responses from you anymore, thank you. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 If a man makes a woman feel bad after four weeks of dating, she wonders how he will be when he really relaxes and is himself 5 months, a year down the road. Keep that in mind. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 And she said she wants to be friends, and can't say if she wants something more right now because she is having hard time now. But at the same time I definitely DO NOT WANT to be just her friend. Should I ask her "so you want to date me or not?" or it's too straightforward? She has told you she just wants to be friends. When someone makes a declaration such as this, the words "right now" or "for now" are often added on the end because it softens the blow or lessens the backlash. However, they really have no idea if that will ever change .... and most likely it won't change. "Prey"? Sounds so feminist That's why I don't like female opinions on this forums tbh, it's so biased. Anyways, I kind of agree with you on what you said before, but want more opinions. You have to remember that the females who are giving you their opinions are seeing things from the same POV that your ex most likely saw things! Another guy might well agree with you and say she is too sensitive but how does that help you. Whether she is or she isn't, you are still in the same predicament. If this girl ever wants you back, she will let you know. However, as things stand, she has told you that she only wants to be friends and there is nothing you can do to change her mind. It has to come from within her. So you leave her be so that things can naturally work themselves out in her mind and you get on with your life in the meantime. Link to comment
childintime Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 Alright. Thank you. Will update in upcoming months Link to comment
conlan Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 Your best bet is to wait it out. I mean one thing I noticed about people if you keep apologizing it makes you look weak. People are attracted to strength not weakness. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 "Prey"? Sounds so feminist That's why I don't like female opinions on this forums tbh, it's so biased. Anyways, I kind of agree with you on what you said before, but want more opinions. I was going to say perhaps you have a shot. But after reading this, I would say no you don't. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 This thread has run its course...Closed. Link to comment
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