Boyfriend doesn't want people to know when he hangs out with me.

[Msunstood]

There are some times when my boyfriend and I are hanging out and his friends or family call him, they ask where he is and he says he's not with me, that he's like at his other family's house. He also pretended that I called him once, to make it seem like he's not sprung on me, but that I'm the one calling him for attention. I asked him why he tends to do that and he says his family and friends will annoy him about it that he's sprung and wants to spend time with me. Is this normal for a guy to do? Or should he not be doing that? It sort of makes me feel a bit bad knowing that he may not want to show how he truly feels about me around people, as if I'm the one all over him.

[SooSad33]

Yes, sounds like he's not rightly into this.

If he feels he has to 'hide' this from everyone.. why? Is he ashamed. Reason it's like a secret?

 

Not sure how long youve been with him? But if he wants to keep playing this game, admit you're not going to.

One should be proud to say they're involved.

[Msunstood]

I have gone to his house a couple of times before, and he's really involved with family, so it is weird that he does that, but his family does know me.

I feel like he is ashamed in a way, like when I asked him to change our status on Facebook he kept saying he did, but I would check and it wouldn't be there.

But then I asked him again and he did it. But I think he hid it from his profile, because the only people that liked the "relationship change" where my friends.

None of his friends liked it. I don't care much about the Facebook thing, but the reason I was asking for it was because I had a strange feeling he wanted to hide me,

and I wanted to see what he would do, and now I know.

[Msunstood]

Also, we've been together for about 1 1/2 months.

[HeartGoesOn]

I asked him why he tends to do that and he says his family and friends will annoy him about it that he's sprung and wants to spend time with me. Is this normal for a guy to do?

 

I would say it's normal for anyone 13 years old, and under. Other than that, they're apparently hiding you for a reason.

[ParisPaulette]

Never accept being a secret with anyone or all you'll get is staying in the shadows until they find someone they're happy to step into the sun with. Sorry, I think there's another girl too, one he's either dating or wants to date and he's hiding you. That's usually what that means or else yes, he's ashamed of you for some reason.

 

None of these are any reason to put up with it. It's been 1 1/2 months for heavens sake. Go find someone better, you don't even know this joker yet hardly and he's already pulling this crap and lying to people????? Why do you think he's not doing the same to you and will do more.

[panther]

I don't think this is normal. At least he is not hiding you from everyone, which would be a very bad sign, but still it sounds weird. Why is he ashamed to show people that he cares for you and that you care about him?

How old are you both? Is he still healing from an older relationship? I would try to figure this out.

1,5 months isn't that long, would you consider getting out of the relationship?

[faraday]

I don't think it's that unusual to want to keep things separate for the first 2-5 months of dating someone.

 

My bf didn't meet friends until 2 1/2 months in..or my family until 4 months...and we've never connected our facebook.

 

Maybe he's not ready to tell everyone about you until he's sure you're going to be around a while...a month in isn't very long...you really don't know each other at all.

[panther]

I don't think it's that unusual to want to keep things separate for the first 2-5 months of dating someone.

 

My bf didn't meet friends until 2 1/2 months in..or my family until 4 months...and we've never connected our facebook.

 

Maybe he's not ready to tell everyone about you until he's sure you're going to be around a while...a month in isn't very long...you really don't know each other at all.

 

Though I could also agree with this, the lying around just doesn't seem right, the pretending it is something that isn't.

[Msunstood]

We're both in our mid-20's. We have talked about our pasts, and he has said that he has trouble opening up and trusting people, which I do too.

But I feel like I've opened up my emotions a lot more than he has. I do feel like there's something in him he's not sharing, and I'm not going to force

him to say anything he doesn't want to, but I do try to ask. I definitely need to talk to him about this, and maybe I need to find someone else.

[SooSad33]

I have gone to his house a couple of times before, and he's really involved with family, so it is weird that he does that, but his family does know me.

I feel like he is ashamed in a way, like when I asked him to change our status on Facebook he kept saying he did, but I would check and it wouldn't be there.

But then I asked him again and he did it. But I think he hid it from his profile, because the only people that liked the "relationship change" where my friends.

None of his friends liked it. I don't care much about the Facebook thing, but the reason I was asking for it was because I had a strange feeling he wanted to hide me,

and I wanted to see what he would do, and now I know.

 

Okay, so this relationship is still sorta 'new'.

Please don't depend on anything regarding Fb, etc. I have NEVER put my status on my fb, no matter what it is.

Some people just dont want the world to know their personal life.

[Msunstood]

Okay, so this relationship is still sorta 'new'.

Please don't depend on anything regarding Fb, etc. I have NEVER put my status on my fb, no matter what it is.

Some people just dont want the world to know their personal life.

 

Though it is a new relationship, I do agree with the Fb status being private, but what about him hiding that he's with me?

[DancingFool]

Sounds like an extremely insecure guy who can't even be honest with himself, let alone you and other people in his life. You are not going to fix this. Either it's OK with you that he does this or it isn't and you need to call it quits before you invest too much more time in this.

 

So what if someone laughs and tells him that he is really into you? If he worries about that and can't handle something so utterly miniscule and inconsequential like a normal adult, how will he handle real problems in life???? Something to consider.

[ParisPaulette]

In your 20s? There just should not be this much drama. And it's the lying that is your biggest red flag by far. I get wanting to keep things separate and/or take it slow in the beginning, but point blank lying to family and friends about who you're with and where you are? There's zero reason for that unless he's hiding something else.

 

Listen to your intuition and trust your gut, something IS off.

[SpottiOtti]

When I read your original post I thought you guys were in high school. I was astonished that you are both in your 20s. Just sayin'.

 

It's only been 1.5 months . . . and this is a BIG red flag. How well do you really know this guy? At this point he should be trying to put his best foot forward, but instead he's seeing how much you'll degrade yourself to be with him. Sure you want to sign up for this?

[Ms Darcy]

Agree that lying so early is a bad sign. Add to that you think he's not sharing something. Not good I say.

 

Trust your gut.