Little bluebel Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 So I've been with my boyfriend almost a year now. Things have been great this past few months, especially the past few weeks. Which is making me even more confused! Today we had a minor argument, nothing serious which left me annoyed at him . So I wanted to make him annoyed -immature yes I know. I posted on my facebook inviting people to add me on my snapchat expecting a reaction from him. I got more than a reaction, Infact he deleted me and text me saying I " can go snap guys all I want" which is NOT what I use it for!! So anyway, I told him he's over reacting a bit and I tried to call him- he didn't answer. I kinda got the impression that he deleted me because he wanted to be single and that was just an excuse he had been looking for so I asked him "are you deleting me because you want to be single" and he's replied with "you are so ****** immature" and he has not replied further. I get that he's angry right now so I won't message him till tomorrow but I'm just so confused! Do you think he deleted be because he's jealous or maybe because he doesn't want to be with me any more??? Please give me your thoughts I feel helpless tonight and I can't sleep. I need peace of mind. Link to comment
JA0371 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Yes.....you are being immature. Whether that means he's breaking up with you or not is irrelevant. If you want this to work out, you should apologize. Link to comment
oitnb Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 So... You wanted to purposely upset him... And you succeeded. That is incredibly immature and hurtful to your boyfriends feelings. The most you can do is apologize and hope he forgives you. Link to comment
louisecar Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 I'm having trouble understanding why he found it such a big deal that you asked people to add you on snapchat?! Did you only ask male friends or was it just a general status post because he's displaying clear trust issues with his reaction. Ya you did it to annoy him and yes it was childish but I also think him deleting you is childish. If he breaks up with you over that then I would say he was just looking for an excuse because that is not reason enough to break up with somebody. Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 He is mad at you because you are incredibly immature. The chance of your insincere apology rectifying this situation are slim to none. Time to grow up. Link to comment
sonicfan287 Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Whether or not he's a jealous person is irrevelant to be honest. You may know the answer to that better than anyone, knowing him personally. Its undoubtedly your motives for doing it. You may not have been TRYING to make him jealous but you admitted you wanted to make him upset, and the fact that he gave you such a violent answer (saying you're *expletive* immature) makes me think this wasn't the first time you did something like this to him. I'm not saying his reaction was the kindest but it's certainly not too surprising given your motives. I would highly suggest apologizing at the least. If your motives were more genuine then it may be a different case Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 It is time for your to sincerely apologize and cross fingers that he comes 'round. Melodrama is not a cool thing to pull on a guy. Link to comment
Little bluebel Posted April 17, 2014 Author Share Posted April 17, 2014 Ok- there's more to the story I guess I should have added. When I first downloaded snapchat app I questioned him about his top friends, I wasn't grilling him I was hair curious. It's the way that he replied that made me suspicious . He said he never used snapchat, which is a lie because you only have top friend if you are actively using it. Otherwise it would say no top friends. Then a few days later I noticed he deleted me from his snapchat. Which is why I made the snapchat status, it was to kind of start a conversation about that as I never did question him about why he deleted me. Also- I guess I better add in the bit as to why I was so annoyed in the first place so you can understand. I invited him out with friends for dinner and drinks. And he said yes at first. Then out of the blue he said he finds the prospect of sitting in a bar with me and my friends "boring" Infact his exact words were "boring as " which made me feel quite patronised and hurt. I guess he can be jealous, a couple weeks back I got a phone call in the middle of the night from an unknown number and he had it set in his mind that I must have gave a random guy my number on a night out which is NOT True. Then the next morning he went through my phone! There was nothing to find but he managed to find a message with a smiley face and implied that I was flirting because of the smiley face . In all honesty I don't understand why he got so annoyed. It's just snapchat, I don't use it to snap guys I use it to snap my close friends and relatives. I must add I have never cheated or anything like that so where are these trust issues coming from? Link to comment
milly007 Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 To be honest, your relationship doesn't sound healthy at all. And it sounds like you're both contributing to it going downhill. His response to you regarding going out with your friends, etc. and what you did to him on Facebook sounds pretty immature. Try taking the high road and communicate when you feel hurt by him (and he should do the same). Hurting someone because they hurt you just makes the matter worse, and to be honest, makes it easier (at least in my opinion) to walk away from the relationship. If you talk to him and are open about your feelings, he'll respect you for it. Hurting him will only drive him away. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 I must add I have never cheated or anything like that so where are these trust issues coming from? I would simply chalk it up as you're not compatible. Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 You are beyond "not compatible"...you are toxic for each other. Time to give it up. Link to comment
Little bluebel Posted April 17, 2014 Author Share Posted April 17, 2014 I don't see how we are "toxic" together and I don't see how I should give up. Nobody on earth is perfect and no relationship is perfect. I'm sure the majority of people have experienced trust issues is their life and it's not a good feeling. I am terribly regretfully that I made the one I love feel like that. To say we are incompatible is a bit harsh. Yes we are both a little immature but hey- immature people need to be loved too. As I said, we have been increasingly happy the past few months and I'm hoping this is a small hiccup. If he still wants to be with me I am not gonna walk away from someone who I deeply care about. He is the first man I have ever felt that I can truly be myself so should I let his trust issues deter me? No. When you love someone, you love them all - including their flaws Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Those are not "flaws"....that are purposeful actions designed to irritate each other. Immature people reserve to be loved... by their parents. Expecting a mature relationship from the two of you...you have a better chance of growing fur. Link to comment
mg22 Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 This happens when you play games, grow up and stop using Facebook to make him angry. Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 If you want to continue the immature behaviour then that is your choice. But if you bring your problems here and expect the majority of people here to pretend like your actions are healthy then you will find the responses frustrating. Because one of you has got to stop being dramatic or this relationship is not going to last. Link to comment
mmnyc5052 Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Yeah, you aren't compatible. Honestly, if this is your response to situations akin to this, purposely seeking affection or attention when in an argument, you aren't compatible in ANY successful relationship Why are you with him? It seems like you are an attention seeker. "getting back" at someone for a MINOR argument is incredibly immature and honestly self-seeking. I hate to be harsh but you need to hear it. What would YOU have done if he advertised "snap chat me!!! Anyone! All girls!" if you had this fight? Not good, I'd a assume. This isn't stable. How old are you two? Honestly, and I mean this in the best possible sense, grow up. Learn to rectify any misconceptions or disagreements in an adult-like manner. Link to comment
Little bluebel Posted April 17, 2014 Author Share Posted April 17, 2014 I did not post the status inviting guys to add me, and that's not what I wanted him to think! I thought he trusted me enough to know I would not do something like that. Now I realise how bad his trust issues are. I posted the status in hope that he would mention snapchat so I could bring up the point as to why he delete me! I understand I may have worded it wrong in earlier comments but it's only after his reaction that I realised he took it the wrong way and it maybe wasn't a wise idea. Link to comment
RKO Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 what a horrible thing to do. disguting. Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 If you do something that appears untrustworthy in order to manipulate someone --- you don't get to claim their reaction is based on THEIR trust issues. The issue...of manipulation....is yours. Link to comment
superfan Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 How old are you? This honestly sounds like the type of thing you would do in your early teens. You argued about something so you deliberately did something you KNEW would strike a chord to get him angry and provoke a response. Congratulations, it worked. Is he breaking up with you? Who knows? But I think the better question to ask would be why are you participating (and even instigating) this unhealthy dynamic? When you are in a healthy relationship and you argue with your partner, you talk things through rather than resorting to silly attention grabbing tactics. He has control issues and you clearly enjoy the drama that comes from pushing his buttons. This is not a mature relationship. My advice would be to refrain from being in a relationship until you truly understand what that means. Link to comment
Firiel Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 He sounds insecure and mean. You sound immature and passive-aggressive. You probably both trigger each others' issues. Get out of the relationship, work on maturing and growing on your own, and then find someone who is equally mature. Link to comment
oitnb Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Okay so you posted a status about snapchat (which is primarily used by high schoolers so I'm hoping you two are young) so he would bring up a conversation about it? That's incredibly immature. Why not just outright ask him why he deleted you? No communication in a relationship = no relationship. Link to comment
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