IAmFCA Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 no black, no white. shoulders covered at least until after 8. if after 630 isit? he may wear a white jacket. you may wear a floor length gown that is classically pretty, in most any color, and just not so embellished. simple and pretty. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 I have good news. I told my mom and she is really excited now and said that she will take me to a dept store to find a dress and that she'll pay for it. Money is no longer an issue for me. I was worried about that. Why can't I wear a dress that has black and white in it? I thought you just couldn't wear a white dress (which I wouldn't anyway). It says to keep with the wedding theme...well, isn't black/white okay. And if not, why not just a black dress? I never heard of the shoulders covered thing. I want to avoid any colour if I can. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 Thanks, that's nice of you to say. To be honest, I really have come to terms with me being large and all, and I'm fine around my family/boyfriend/few close friends, but anyone else and it's like, I'd rather not dress up, ya know? I am already nerve-wracked thinking about going. But I sent the RSVP in the mail today so I don't really have a choice even if I wanted to back out now! I don't think I've worn a dress in over a year, and that was just for the funeral of my grandmother. I didn't care about it at the time (the dress that is). And you're right, we'll probably not be seeing much of the groom/bride. I've only met the uncle once and I know he just invited me because he knows N and I live together. Frankly, I'm surprised he's invited me. He has invited N and I to come over but since meeting him once, I have declined to go over to see him and N goes without me and tells him I'm at work and can't come. So again, very surprised. My positive traits are: my face - I have a nice looking, symmetrical face that doesn't look like a "fat face" as much as it should at my weight, my breasts - I have very full, beautiful DDs, I am big breasted by my genes not JUST my weight, my curves - despite my weight, I have retained my feminine cuves. I still have somewhat of an hourglass figure...somewhat. I know this because I can still rock a corset if it's sized right. It's there if I dig deep. My negative traits are: stomach - Most of my excess weight sits ALL in my stomach. I have some in my arms and thighs, yes, but it's mostly the stomach. It's not in "rolls" either, it's one round thing like what a man might have. Hospital staff ask me if I'm pregnant more often than thinner women and I just say "no I'm just obese", my ear - I have scar tissue on my ear that I need to get removed. At this time, because of it, I can't wear earrings and don't want to put my hair up (unless it's for work), obviously my upper arms/thighs are other problem areas but that goes without saying of course. I'm really hoping I can find a black dress and wear that. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 4, 2013 Author Share Posted June 4, 2013 Okay maybe I'm just being dumb but you know how we at proms, the couples would match? Like, the guy would have a coloured folded handkerchief in his pocket and the girl would wear something in that color? I was thinking dark blue. I never went to my prom at all. So I've never done it. Do you think that would be cute or extremely dorky? I kind of want to do it! I am having N talk to his uncle to confirm what the dress code is. Just to be sure. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 For me, it's kind of cheesy and tacky. Just my opinion though. I think that any woman's dress matches a tux (the event is black-tie?) or a dark suit. Not really any need to coordinate. I hope you find a great dress! Dressing up is fun. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 Oh shucks. I won't do it then. I thought it may be kind of cool. I never went to prom so I've never done it. N is asking his uncle today for clarification but it's probably black tie. I plan to wear a long (floor length) dress anyway. I still need to think of a gift. I was thinking just picking up a bottle of expensive champagne and then N and I will split the cost. I don't know crap about the uncle or the bride so I am okay with giving a canned, generic gift that is deemed appropriate for the occasion. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Aw well if you want to do it don't listen to my stupid opinion. It's just me - and if you never went to prom and want to do the prom kind of thing, you should. It will be fun for you and make you happy. If they have a registry, I would get them something off of that, if it's affordable. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 They don't have a registry. This is the guy's second marriage and the bride is living with him already and has been for a while. Well I have some bad news. N contacted his uncle and the wedding theme was on the invite. He pointed it out to us. N and I didn't see it cause it was on the back in some weird scribble fancy script. Basically, it's not black tie but all guests have to wear clothes in only certain colours. Champagne, ivory, grey, and a fugly light pink. That's it. Neither of us can wear another colour. N will wear a grey suit which is fine but I have no idea what I'm gonna do. Yuck. I'm thinking a grey dress though. Evening gown. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Do not understand why the wedding couple feels the need to tell people how to dress! Ugh. That's ok though. I'm sure you can find something cute in those colors. I actually think champagne can be quite flattering. I hope you won't just look in grey - I know you're wary of the lighter colors, but if everyone is stuck with those four colors, then wearing a light-colored dress won't make you stand out. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 Yeah I told my mom about confirming the dress code and she was honestly shocked and she said she never saw that happen either. If you want to have have a wedding theme, fine, but IMO it's stupid to tell people to only dress in certain colours. I feel like I'm supposed to match the furniture like I'm an accessory. But.... Regardless, it's her wedding, so I'm gonna dress up according to her wishes. It's the least I can do because if there's an open bar, well.. I'm going to have to look at all colours because I'm already at a disadvantage because of my size. But grey looks more likely because it's most common. But I'll be open to any color really. Except that fugly pink. Nope nope! Right now I'm going in to get measured soon. Link to comment
greywolf Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I have seen weddings before where they ask people to wear certain colors, but usually it's colors that are easy for people to find. I wouldn't be too happy about those color options either. =/ But I think a grey dress with maybe a hint of another color would be pretty. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 6, 2013 Author Share Posted June 6, 2013 I need to vent. This color thing has me very frustrated. I did some good searching today and I'm having great trouble finding a suitable dress in one of these colors, let alone my size. I'm very, very frustrated and am starting to get a little angry. I'm pissed at the bride. What sort of megalomaniac hobby less harpy bridezilla insists that everyone comes wearing one of 4 uncommon colours and nothing else? Basically everyone has to purchase a damn outfit for one stupid wedding that they are probably never going to wear again. By all means, color coordinate your bridesmaids in puke green and neon pink for all I care, but don't make your whole guest list have to wear uncommon colours! I have maybe half the selection most people do due to my size! I'm not finding these colors much and when I do, it's usually too skimpy or casual. Why is she doing this? Is it so she has perfect reception pictures that only exhibit the exact hues she wants? I feel like she's making everyone do this so we'll all match the damn furniture in the reception hall and just blend in. Who the hell thinks of this crap? Just because she doesn't work and doesn't have a life and can spend away her groom's money, doesn't mean everyone else is like that. This is already stressing me out and I've barely done anything yet. My mom is like "you need to get your hair done, and new shoes, and we'll have someone do your make up, and a pedicure by me if you get sandals, etc." *cries* Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 I completely agree that dictating what colors your guests can wear is too much. It shouldn't matter what your guests wear, they're there to celebrate your marriage.. Sorry you're having a difficult time, fudgie. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 6, 2013 Author Share Posted June 6, 2013 I know how to sew... I used to make a lot of outfits when I was younger using patterns. It's easy. Honestly if I had a sewing machine and didn't have to work full time, I'd buy the fabric and do it myself. Let's hope something turns up in my search. Link to comment
einsteins_girl Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Just saw the update. Ugh, that is super-frustrating. I did some searching & found some dresses currently available to purchase (maybe in store, probably online). Here are the links. link removed link removed link removed link removed link removed link removed link removed link removed Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 oh my goodness I have never heard of such a thing. Its hard enough to find an outfit, plus it basically means all the guests have to go shop, unless they just happen to have something in the specified palette. I totally agree re easy gift. It balances out the complicated preparation! Good on you for being generous about matching the colors... Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 10, 2013 Author Share Posted June 10, 2013 Yeah neither of my parents heard of this either and they've attended tons of weddings. My dad was like "she's sort of a high maintenance bridezilla isn't she?" no s__t sherlock. einsteins girl. That was really nice of you to take the time to compile that last. Many of those look really nice. I'm digging the grey. I plan to get my measurements done this week when I have the chance. Who knows how that will turn out. My weight has been in flux. Lost some water weight but nothing permanent, but it's enough to the point that N has noticed. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Fudgie, I have been using an app called "Lose It!" to help me track food and exercise, but maybe you have all the support you want on that topic. Thats not why I clicked Reply. I clicked Reply to tell you that I want you to feel beautiful, water weight, extra wine weight, or newly underweight, no matter what. We all are so beautiful in our own ways, yet one thing like our shapes befouls the rest of it sometimes. Not that you don't know it already. Still I want to weigh in (ha!) with my well wishes that weight can be a lifelong healthful habit, just like love, smiles, and kissing the cheeks of friends we see at weddings and funerals. More power to you and your maybe-the-grey evening gown. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 10, 2013 Author Share Posted June 10, 2013 "Lose It" is a great app. I've been using it since 2009/2010 when I was first found to have insulin resistance. When I've had to log my food, I do it on there. I look up nutritional info all the time on there. I only shop at one grocery store and buy THAT grocery store's brand of food/products, and I love that they are included in the app. My main focus when looking at nutritional info is not only calories, but more importantly (to me), how many carbohydrates/sugars, and how much protein. I was so happy when they finally made Lose It available on Android. Formally, I just had it on my iPod Touch (which I no longer have, I went back to having a regular iPod). Thank you for your kind words. I am very open about the fact that I am large and while I have no real issue being open about it with my family/boyfriend/very close friends and don't "cover myself up" with my boyfriend...it is still hard for me to go out into public sometimes. I usually end up doing it but I feel uncomfortable. I am slowly getting to a state of mind where I'm excited about the wedding. Link to comment
einsteins_girl Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 If you can find a picture online, I hope you share with us what dress you end up getting. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 14, 2013 Author Share Posted June 14, 2013 Currently looking at this dress as a good possibility. I got sized. Once it arrives, I'll try it on and see how it feels. I think the sleeves look great, I like how it's modest, and I like the torso part (I think it will be flattering). Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 14, 2013 Author Share Posted June 14, 2013 If this dress works out (can't wait try it) then it looks like N and I will both be wearing grey! Link to comment
einsteins_girl Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Ooh, that dress is very pretty!! Link to comment
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