My Life- Thoughts and Happenings

[Seraphim]

Happy Birthday to him! My son turns 16 soon.

[Silverbirch]

Yes, the time goes very quickly!

[luminousone]

My son had a fun birthday- he has a friend that is still recuperating from a motorcycle accident (lost control avoiding a deer at night) and so he and his buddies went over to his place for a movie marathon. They got him a Sesame Street cake which I thought was hilarious. Anyway they all had so much fun, and I was proud of him for including his injured friend.

 

Afterwards his girlfriend took him out for cheesecake.

[luminousone]

A friend is helping me get ready for yard sale round two, since I still had stuff left to sell and she brought a bunch of stuff to sell too.

 

She is in town also to participate in the Jewish Rosh Hashanah services at the local synagogue. She has come home each night so inspired from each service and if she lived here she would certainly switch to that community.

 

It is interesting to hear about what they do and the rituals and meanings. I can see how similar some things are in Christian practices, but I guess that would make sense considering the origins.

 

I admire her devotion.

 

I have really been in a slump lately. I have been meaning to go to the doctor for a year to talk about getting on an antidepressant. My estrogen blocker meds for the treatment of my breast cancer just make me feel like I have zero motivation or energy.

 

So I finally called to make an appointment for a physical in October.

 

We had a bunch of rain and some thunderstorms yesterday. It was the second rain of the summer. The plants could all use it!

 

Today my ex is starting to move in with his gf. They've been together for 3 years (we split up 4 years ago). Ironically today would have been our 21st anniversary with 26 years together if we hadn't split up.

 

A friend asked me how I felt about his move. Really surprised that I am fine with it all. I have no desire to be with him and I treasure the release from the tensions and the dysfunctions we had together.

 

Not sure how long their live-in relationship will last. My younger son isn't very happy moving in with her only because the house is way too small. My older son will be off to college so it won't be as much of an issue with him.

 

Today-errands, prepare for the sale tomorrow, clean house, pay some bills...

 

Oh- bad news- my neighbor who lives 4 blocks up the street said her house was broken into yesterday. Her wedding rings and some jewelry (heirlooms) were stolen. Her son's birth certificate was stolen too. Ugh!

 

We had a lot of break-ins here about 5 years ago and then sporadically the past few years, but I had not heard about any this summer until now. I hate having to worry!

[luminousone]

I forgot to say that my younger son went camping with his grandpa last week and I had to leave to run my other son to the doctor. His grandpa was on the way so I told him to be sure to lock the door when he left with his grandpa. When we got back from the appointment 1 1/2 hours later, the door was wide open!

 

I guess we are very lucky that they didn't hit our house then.

[Silverbirch]

Hi Lum,

I'm sure the doctor will be able to give you something which will help with the depression, and I hope it will be soon.

 

Good luck with stage 2 of the sales! Wish I could come for a snoop and sure I would find things to buy.

 

I got broken into many years ago, and it was devastating. Some of the things were insured, but I didn't know that my jewelry was not covered on the insurance. Police came and interviewed me and I was treated as a suspect for insurance fraud. Not very long afterwards, a guy was caught breaking and entering in the neighbourhood and confessed to breaking into my home, but he claimed he "forgot" what he had done with my jewelry and I never got it back. There was stuff of great sentimental value which can never be replaced. It was not long after my marriage had ended and I was very depressed and obviously struggling financially. The police saw that I was working from home and had a youngish child, and so they came and questioned me several times, and the way they were speaking to me, I am sure they thought it was me.

 

Hope you and the boys have a great day!

[luminousone]

OMG this teenager is giving me a run for my money.

 

He was supposed to be home by 7. His dad let him go all day and I don't think he even knew where he was exactly. His dad was supposed to make the drop off of the boys to my place at 7 and I would have been fine if they were late because I had a meeting to go to anyway.

 

But I didn't want my son out on his bike that late and I didn't want him riding home in the dark. So his dad told him he had to be at my home by seven.

 

At twenty till he texts me to see if he could go to a birthday party from 8-11:30 tonight at some dance studio (he didn't even know the name of have place or the full name of the girl having the party).

 

I told him I needed to speak with an adult in charge and addresses and phone numbers and names. And if I would even consider it I needed that first.

 

Instead he decides to see if he could stay at someone's house overnight (someone I don't know). Again I said I needed to speak with an adult and so names addresses and phone numbers were important.

 

And I had a meeting to go into where I was expected to take minutes. So I said no and I expected him to get home right away before it got dark.

 

When I got out of the meeting it turns out that he went to the party anyway and expected me to come get him and his bike because it was 8:30 by then.

 

I am so mad.

 

Bike is going to be locked up for a while. He is grounded. No phones no iPod no computer, nothing! And he stays home this week. And I will drive him to and from school- and he will be embarrassed but hopefully it will make an impression.

 

So- when I went to pick him up (he finally got the address) it was in a yoga studio that I have been to before. Essentially it was a middle school dance. There was an adult manning the downstairs door but when I went upstairs there were no adults in the dance. Eventually I found him.

 

But what was disturbing to me was that kids were hanging out in the parking lot and going in and out of the party freely. Just milling around.

 

And then when we had a conversation about the party it turns out that the girl whose birthday it was for, does not even know my son directly but when he asked her if he could come via social media then she said yes and he can bring friends too.

 

What were her parents thinking?!

 

Essentially it was an open party to the public.

 

I didn't see any activity other than kids dancing or doing normal hanging out however.

 

This happens to be in a rich part of town and I had always heard a generalization that kids over there tend to be over priviledged and somewhat snooty. My son is a wannabe. And of course he won't ever bring those friends over to my house because he is ashamed of how humble it is.

 

How on earth did my son get to be this way? He used to be so sweet and caring. Now he is acting so spoiled. Aargh!

 

I really will need to use my very best parenting skills and he is challenging me every step of the way.

 

Okay rant over on that son.

 

My other son went camping this weekend with his buddies but yesterday he walked in the door and said they got bored so they came home. Lol. I have one son who lives to party and the other one gets bored camping.

 

So his friends were giving him a ride and he told them to wait in the driveway while he took a shower and then they would go on to a friend's house.

 

Technically my son was supposed to be at his dad's all this week so I was amused that he came to my place to take a shower. Anyhow he said he would go to his dads after he was done at his friend's.

 

But- at 1:40 am I was startled to find him standing in my bedroom saying he decided to sleep here at my house and his sheets weren't on the bed. Sheesh! I said that he could make his own bed!

 

He didn't want to make his friend drive farther away to drop him off at his dads, so I had a surprise visit. Lol.

 

Now the boys are here for the week. I'm already exhausted and they just got here.

 

School starts here on Tuesday (for my younger son) because of budget cuts. Honestly, what parent schedules a late night teenage party 2 days before school starts.

 

Oh, I guess I'm still ranting.

 

Okay time to focus on good things.

 

I had some really great kids in my Sunday school class this morning. It's going to be a great year! These kids are so cute and they did great!

 

One of my 5th graders was reading books to the little ones that were waiting for their class to start accross the hall. They were so cute!

 

Church seemed so vibrant today, and seems like we have some new families that joined recently.

 

My best friend drove a few hours to my city so she could celebrate Rosh Hashanah at a local synagogue near me and although she went to services night and day for much of the week, she really wanted to do a garage sale on Saturday with me because she had stuff to sell.

 

Even though I already had one a month ago, I still had some stuff left over and it was all marked so I went ahead and put another one on.

 

I didn't make as much this time around but still made a decent penny. My friend sold almost all of her stuff so I was glad for her. She is a substitute teacher so she had no income during the summer and her first paycheck won't be until October if she even works this month.

 

A lot of work. I was so exhausted! But maybe we will do it again next summer...

 

My cat's skin condition seems to be improving with her medication so I am glad of that. Her ears got all crusty again so I had to start up the medication again. And then it takes two weeks for the meds to work.

 

Tomorrow a friend will be at her shell of a house to help "harvest" usable windows and doors so that they can be used in a new village for the homeless. Then on Tuesday the house will be torn down, making way for a new structure.

 

In the end the foundation was in such bad shape that it was cheaper for her to tear it down and rebuild it - she had tried to have it remodeled but that contractor used up all of her money pretending to work on her house and she was taken for a lot of money. And she won't get it back. So sad.

 

In the meantime her aunt died and left her some money so she is going to build a new house with a reputable architect. It won't be fancy but just a basic two bedroom house - but she lives with a cat and a dog so that's all the room she needs.

[Silverbirch]

Teenagers are really frustrating, but at least it turned out that the party was not too bad. Milling around outside is what most teenagers do. I had a huge upset with my son when he was 15 or 16 because he befriended a girl at school whose parents used to put on parties for their daughter and serve alcohol. I found out later they were the local small-time drug dealers. I think at that time, despite whatever I did, there was a real possibility my son was going to get in with the wrong crowd and really mess his life up. He says now, that so many of his friends from school have ended up with serious drug and unemployment problems. I had the problem too about him taking off on his bike - until he had 2 bikes which each got stolen - one outside a store in the main street, the other from our backyard. He was devastated at the first bike going, and when the second one was stolen, he just gave up on wanting a bike. He has turned out okay, but who they hang out with is a worry.

 

Yeah, our home wasn't so grand either - but it wasn't too bad either, certainly not a dump, and I prided myself on always having a nice garden and making the place nice, so that was hurtful about not wanting to bring friends home, but that's something a lot of them do - even the rich kids - maybe for other reasons. I remember too that he was ashamed of my car and asked if I could not park it outside the school. His father is very well off financially so it was a kick in the face for me that he didn't have those issues with his father about bringing people home, etc and even had his 18th birthday at his father's home.

 

I suppose at that age, they worry so much what other kids think of them. I know I was constantly feeling embarrassed by my parents when I was a teen, and I can cringe about that now.

[luminousone]

Thanks for the reassurance, Silver! I am going to need it!

 

He moaned and groaned all day today because he was grounded. But in the end he found my guitar (dusty from being unused) and figured out some chords and pouted a bit.

 

Tomorrow he starts school - thank goodness!

 

He was a royal pill tonight when I made him go to bed. He is still awake apparently and he has locked his bedroom door- which will be interesting when my older son wants to go to bed, since they share a room! But I know how to pick such locks...

 

Lol, my older son was trying to coach him through the power struggle telling him to appreciate all that I do for him...

 

I just wish his dad would set some limits with him. It is so difficult to be the one to set the limits and be the bad guy... And so I get these temper tantrums when he comes from his dads for the week.

 

He has a great teacher for school- his teacher has high standards for my son, both academically and behavior wise. And he is a passionate teacher and my son likes him and does well with him.

 

Tomorrow my older son and I will work on my computer (my computer expert will be going off to college soon!). And we will organize his stuff for college.

 

My ex is in the process of moving in with his girlfriend- into a very small house. Essentially he had told my older son that there is no room for him there, so once they move there will not be a room or a bed or any place for his stuff.

 

So on breaks, my older son will probably be staying with me.

 

It makes me sad that he is doing that to one of his children.

 

My other son will have his own room and a big tv and PS3 in the bedroom- his dad is bribing him. Which might explain the defiant behavior...

 

The girlfriend is actually very nice to the boys, so I have no complaints there. She understands step situations because she has been divorced twice.

 

It was very hot today here- in the upper 80's. I am ready for cooler days and fall weather! My walking friend and I took a walk through the local university campus and they are gearing up for the new students to come in a week or two.

 

Now that fall has hit- so have the meetings and obligations. I will miss having time to work on my house but will continue to try to fit it in when I can.

[Silverbirch]

Oh that's sad for your son. Silly man. Well, he will realise one day he has made a mistake. I'm glad at least his girlfriend is nice.

[luminousone]

Today was better THANK GOODNESS!

 

My son had his first day of school. He said it was boring because they are doing team building projects instead of schoolwork. Lol. I think he will be complaining once the schoolwork hits...

 

He was so tired after last night's fiasco that he fell asleep in the car on the way home.

 

He got to bed earlier tonight and he was much more respectful in his conversation with me today.

 

Sometimes when he comes from being at his dads then he will challenge me and the house rules, and will be belligerent. And then he settles in to our routine. Sigh.

 

So hot here - I am waiting for fall weather!

[Silverbirch]

Good to hear your son is settling. My son was around 6 years old when I separated from his father. I was always quite strict about what my son ate, and I wouldn't let him have coco-cola. When he went to his fathers place, his father would give him so much coke and lollies that he would throw up. Yes, my son would come home and I think he would be sad having to go between both places - though he only stayed with his father every second weekend. What was much worse though would be the times his father couldn't have him, and he could act out quite badly. He has always completely loved his father.

[luminousone]

Good to hear your son is settling. My son was around 6 years old when I separated from his father. I was always quite strict about what my son ate, and I wouldn't let him have coco-cola. When he went to his fathers place, his father would give him so much coke and lollies that he would throw up. Yes, my son would come home and I think he would be sad having to go between both places - though he only stayed with his father every second weekend. What was much worse though would be the times his father couldn't have him, and he could act out quite badly. He has always completely loved his father.

 

Giving him pop and candy- so typical. I have tried to explain the chemicals in pop, but the boys are given pop by their dad- and especially with caffeine, just before dropping them off at my house. And of course they then have a difficult time sleeping.

[luminousone]

Today was so hot. I did some errands at home this morning and then got an email asking for volunteer help at my son's school office.

 

All of the teachers were coming in on their breaks and describing how slumpy the students were because of the heat.

 

The copy machine room has air condition, so a lot of copies were made today,

[luminousone]

I'm so excited for my son- he has an interview for a great job on campus, helping to maintain staff computers.

 

There were 70 applicants for the last position that was similar to this, and he did get interviews for it but in the end they didn't choose him.

 

Hope they see his worth! But even if he doesn't get it, he should be proud of having been asked to come in for an interview out of all this applicants.

[luminousone]

My day was a good one. The temperature was perfect! It only got up to 79 Fahrenheit which is perfect in my book!

 

I volunteered in my sons school again today and I helped stuff all of the handouts to go home today. It feels a bit awkward because I wasn't chosen for the position I applied for, but I do have to volunteer 40 hours this year there, so I have to just get over it.

 

The volunteer coordinator specifically asked for me to come in, so that part made me feel good.

 

So, I did have fun and I got to know two women I hadn't known before. And I got some volunteer hours under my belt.

[luminousone]

Aargh

My boys are fighting over whether to close the door or not while sleeping. The younger one wants it closed and the older one wants it open. Now they are wrestling.

 

Now my older one took it off the hinges and stole the door so the younger one is taping a blanket up.

 

It is after midnight here and I want my sleep, boys...

 

All these years and they've never really fought!

 

They are both stubborn...

[luminousone]

Silence, sweet silence... They worked it out

[luminousone]

And I am up for the day- have to go to a fundraiser this morning early. Wish I would have been able to get more sleep...

 

Later, a sincere but stern talk with each of my boys is in order. Sheesh! They are two stubborn kids...

[luminousone]

Took the boys to their dad's for the week. They had much better behavior after a good night's sleep.

 

Today was much cooler and a bit misty all day. It was so nice for a change! Fall weather is finally here, and it feels so nice to have the cooler weather!

 

Today I heard and saw flocks of geese flying in formation in their migration up the south for the winter. Definitely a fall thing.

 

Another indication of fall is the appearance in the store of fresh crisp apples newly harvested. I bought some Honey Crisp variety, and they are sweet and a bit tart, and juicy and crunchy. They are so good!

[Silverbirch]

That must have been a beautiful sight - the geese!!! Autumn is one of my favourite times - all the colors. I don't think we have honey crisp variety here. Pink Lady is one of my favourite varieties of apple. D has a large apple tree but the fruit is not tasty. I have a small one, but it hasn't given fruit for years. Still, it looks lovely with the blossoms on it which it has right now.

[luminousone]

That must have been a beautiful sight - the geese!!! Autumn is one of my favourite times - all the colors. I don't think we have honey crisp variety here. Pink Lady is one of my favourite varieties of apple. D has a large apple tree but the fruit is not tasty. I have a small one, but it hasn't given fruit for years. Still, it looks lovely with the blossoms on it which it has right now.

 

Honey crisp is similar to Pink Lady but a bit more tart.

 

Enjoy your spring flowers!

[Silverbirch]

We even have some lovely weeds here! I can hardly wait for the butterflies - I hope they come this year - thousands and thousands of orange and browns!

[luminousone]

Tonight I went to a two hour orientation meeting for parents of kids enrolled in the "Our Whole Lives" human sexuality and relationship class. I signed up my 8th grader and he is reluctant to go but honestly I signed him up anyway because he is so rebellious right now.

 

What I didn't realize is that this class goes for 27 weeks!!!!!!! I am not sure he will be happy about this at first but I am determined that he participate. He needs it and I need him to take this class so I know he has a solid idea of respectful boundaries and of what is healthy and what isn't for someone his age.

 

This is a comprehensive program sponsored by the Congregational Church and the Unitarian Church. They invited our church too.

 

My older son went through it and I am very thankful...

[Silverbirch]

Oh gosh, what do they talk about for 27 weeks??