watered_down Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I know most people would think a guy visiting an escort or a hooker as skanky but how does this compare to a guy having a massage naked and also oral sex being involved? Ladies - what would you think if you found this out about your boyfriend or opinions on this in general? Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Same thing, different name. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Compare? Unless it's your girlfriend giving the massage, it's the same thing. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Same thing, different name. No difference. Link to comment
gingerlemon Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Agree with all the others. Same thing. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Same thing. And a licensed massage therapist at a reputable place would not risk her license by getting sexual with her client. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 No different than a person going to a bar or some other function, meeting someone and then bringing them home for a one night stand or a couple of casual romps and then on to the next. Link to comment
gingerlemon Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 No different than a person going to a bar or some other function, meeting someone and then bringing them home for a one night stand or a couple of casual romps and then on to the next. I see what you're saying, but on the other hand the thing about paying someone makes it a different phenomenon to me than a ONS. I'm not saying the latter is much better than the former. But it's a different kind of thing to me. Link to comment
rosephase Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Neither bother me, I've had boyfriend's who've done both. I think sex workers and clients both think of it as a very different thing, a happy ending (not oral) because it is way safer around STDs. Link to comment
pepsi71ocean Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Neither bother me, I've had boyfriend's who've done both. I think sex workers and clients both think of it as a very different thing, a happy ending (not oral) because it is way safer around STDs. what is a happy ending? Link to comment
Guevara Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 If your asking if its cheating? yea it is If your asking if its different than paying a hooker? no, your paying for a massage and possibly paying extra to get the happy ending what is a happy ending? receiving a massage that ends in an orgasm Link to comment
duke nukem Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 No different. As to why he needs that, that's a red flag for any relationship. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 I see what you're saying, but on the other hand the thing about paying someone makes it a different phenomenon to me than a ONS. I'm not saying the latter is much better than the former. But it's a different kind of thing to me. Yes a lot of people get hung up on the paying thing...but is it really better that someone trolls for free sexual gratification with a stranger? I never understood how people get so high and mighty about how much better they are because they had sex for free with 10 or so strangers rather than with 1 prostitute! Paying for sex is no different from paying for any service. When a person has freebie sex with a stranger, they are still looking to be serviced, just like with a prostitute. Perhaps it is like paying for something at a dollar store vs at a department store...everyone loves to think they got a bargain and paid the lowest price! Also, for a lot of people it is not so much that they are that concerned about the well-being of the prostitutes and that lifestyle, it is that they look down on them as inferior since they use sex to put a roof over their head rather than for the cheap thrills. Link to comment
gingerlemon Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Well, as I explicitly said in my post, I wasn't arguing that it was 'better' to sleep around. I also didn't say anything about looking down on prostitutes or seeing them as inferior. I don't, and in any case prostitutes are a very multi faceted group from women who have made that choice in the face of a range of other options to those who are victims of human trafficking, so from the outset it's very tenuous to make blanket statements about such a group. I just see the two phenomena as two quite different kinds of things. To purchase something or selling your body is just different to me than two people getting on with it without any money transaction involved. I think the motivations of a prostitute are probably quite different from those of the woman hooking up with someone at 3.30 am in a night club for a one night stand with no intention of charging for her sexual 'services' (even though a male might view them in similar terms). Link to comment
watered_down Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 Interesting view points. I should have phrased my question more clearly - it was Q if you found out your boyfriend had done this in the past, whilst he was single, rather than while he was dating them? Not sure that would change some of the answers though. Link to comment
gingerlemon Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Interesting view points. I should have phrased my question more clearly - it was Q if you found out your boyfriend had done this in the past, whilst he was single, rather than while he was dating them? Not sure that would change some of the answers though. I think to me, it would depend on how he spoke about it, and whether it was a frequent thing. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Basically, if any other human gives you sexual services besides your girlfriend, she's going to think it's cheating. Because she wants to be the one and only person who has anything to do with that area of your life, other than yourself, because that is a serious component of her self esteem. If you're not getting it from her, then obviously she's inadequate, or at the very least, you're not playing by her rules and that's not fair to her because she's using sex to enforce rules she believes in, rules you could otherwise not care less about, and now you have no reason to follow her rules. If you're paying anyone to sexually gratify you, you'll be crucified on the spot, no questions asked. It's wrong for you to pay it, and there's no possible way those working for the money could even remotely possibly enjoy doing what they're doing for a living. Best just never discuss these things. That's what I can deduce from this, even if those against it reject these conclusions. We have a long way to go before we have reached true sexual equality and subsequently sexual enlightenment. I think the motivations of a prostitute are probably quite different from those of the woman hooking up with someone at 3.30 am in a night club for a one night stand with no intention of charging for her sexual 'services' (even though a male might view them in similar terms). The only difference between a prostitute and a stripper, is one has sex and the other just takes her clothes off. Money does not need to be exchanged to constitute prostitution - though then we cross into the arena of personal gratification, which embarks from the pure prostitution field. The motivation from either angle, though, is Money, pure and simple. Strippers and prostitutes alike bring in the kind of money where it becomes irrelevant who they're sleeping with, that side of the bed is rented out and rented out well... Link to comment
Lonewing Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 I see what you're saying, but on the other hand the thing about paying someone makes it a different phenomenon to me than a ONS. I'm not saying the latter is much better than the former. But it's a different kind of thing to me. For how much he spent on her drinks, cab fare and such, it's the same damn thing...he's also her entertainment for the night...same process... Link to comment
gingerlemon Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 For how much he spent on her drinks, cab fare and such, it's the same damn thing...he's also her entertainment for the night...same process... From the male POV, perhaps. From the woman's POV, I don't think so. Link to comment
gingerlemon Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 The only difference between a prostitute and a stripper, is one has sex and the other just takes her clothes off. Money does not need to be exchanged to constitute prostitution - though then we cross into the arena of personal gratification, which embarks from the pure prostitution field. The motivation from either angle, though, is Money, pure and simple. Strippers and prostitutes alike bring in the kind of money where it becomes irrelevant who they're sleeping with, that side of the bed is rented out and rented out well... As I think you're saying, money is exchanged during stripping as well. The point I was making above is that I think women's motivations for engaging in ONSs are much more multifaceted than having their drinks paid for. Link to comment
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