Difference between porn and real sex

[pl3asehelp]

Porn is sex from a male fantasy view where he doesn't have to do anything and gets all the pleasure. A lot of porn is really derogatory to women. The attitude is like you are so disgusting for having sex with me that she isn't even a person.

 

Maybe the producers/directors have deep seated mommy anger issues.

 

It is just people putting body parts together with no feeling to it or care about the other person.

 

Then there is an entirely different kind of porn where normal everyday people record themselves doing it as they do when you're not watching, which is super hot and not saddled with all of the baggage of the fake stuff.

[annie24]

Real Penis in Real Vagina. That's all Real Sex is.

 

There is a different interpretation of the word 'real.' For example, a woman sees a pretty jeweled ring at the store and she asks, "is that ring real?" The question she is asking is "Is that a diamond ring, or is the stone cubic zirconia?" Obviously, that ring is "real." It's not a figment of her imagination - she's just asking if it is "real" as in precious or genuine.

 

I think that's what we mean here about "real" sex. As in - sex that's not motivated by money or a camera crew. Something that two people who like (maybe even love each other) do.

[BellaDonna]

Real Penis in Real Vagina. That's all Real Sex is.

 

That same definition would suggest that a violent crime like rape is real sex too because it involves a penis and vagina.

A note about rape: I've read in a number of cases where women have reported having experienced orgasm during rape. So I dare say, if a woman can have an orgasm when she DOES NOT want sex, I do believe it's more than possible for her to experience orgasm on a porn set where she's agreed to do it.

 

And here^ the term rape and sex are used synonomously, which is also rather disturbing. Rape is a crime against humanity/act of violence , not a sexual act.

 

I can't see how those statements regarding rape help make the point about porn in any useful way at all. Yikes...

[Vince99]

Yeah, it has deteriorated into some semantics issues which I was kind of afraid of.

 

I was just wondering about positions, whether certain things that are portrayed actually feel as good as the women make it look, etc.

[annie24]

I was just wondering about positions, whether certain things that are portrayed actually feel as good as the women make it look, etc.

 

I can't speak for all women, nor would I imagine all women feel the same way about sex acts. I know some women who love love love anal sex and others who would never ever do it. Others who tried it and didn't enjoy it. Just for an example. I think it's all really up to the individuals, and that there is no harm in trying those positions and seeing how your partner feels. I think that the porn women are mainly acting/faking it (they could probably moan on command just like in "When Harry met Sally" when Sally has that "orgasm" while eating her sandwich at the deli. Most of them are probably high on drugs and are full of self-loathing having sex with men whose names they don't even know.

[BellaDonna]

I was just wondering about positions, whether certain things that are portrayed actually feel as good as the women make it look, etc.

 

I would imagine it depends on the woman's preferences. But one thing I would think that is probably not portrayed accurately in porn is women getting as "excited" and moaning and groaning over a "money shot" . Porn, often aimed at male viewers, often over-emphases and glorifies the product of the male orgasm (i.e. semen), and make sure the camera sees it. In "real sex" I would guess that it is probably not such a central focus, as in semen does not need to be "seen" up close or splattered somewhere to be enjoyed.

 

I think an ill-informed person who used porn as the basis on how to approach real sex situations could be in for some rejection or criticism, or a straight up "what the Hell are you doing?" if they tried to take it upon themselves to emulate the money shot, unless their partner happened to be into that sort of thing. It might be one of those things to ask permission about before proceeding.

[OptomisticGirl]

This is the biggest difference between porn and sex for me, personally. Guys, I know you think the center of the universe is inbetween your legs and while I love penis, I don't love it THAT much to go ga-ga over it when you just whip it out. Or to act like it's the best thing since chocolate ice cream sandwhiches... I assure you, the chocolate is calling my name more than your penis. However in my experience it's the exact opposite if you whip a boob out for a man. It's like 'boob, boob, boob, boob... boobie!!!'

[BellaDonna]

I've even read posts on here from straight women that stated they preferred to watch "lesbian porn", simply to avoid seeing money shots. LOL

[annie24]

I've even read posts on here from straight women that stated they preferred to watch "lesbian porn", simply to avoid seeing money shots. LOL

 

Can't say I'm a fan of the money shot either. Sperm in my eyes. yeah, sounds like a great idea.

 

I do think lesbian porn can be very nice in that regard!!!!!

[OptomisticGirl]

I've even read posts on here from straight women that stated they preferred to watch "lesbian porn", simply to avoid seeing money shots. LOL

 

Yeah, the money shot just makes no sense to me. No woman in her right mind leaves her eyes open for that - sperm in the eye is NOT a pleasant feeling!

[BellaDonna]

Hopefully most would infer that sperm in an eye would be one of those "obvious things that women clearly would not want done to them" that the OP mentioned from the get-go. However, I don't have much faith in people's inferences. -Stories from my female friends about the guys they chose NOT ever to have real sex with again, form the basis for my lack of faith. lol

[annie24]

well, some women might do it because it pleases their man, and i think that's fine. maybe he does stuff for her that he doesn't particularly like, but she does, so it all balances out (I hope!)

[BellaDonna]

well, some women might do it because it pleases their man, and i think that's fine. maybe he does stuff for her that he doesn't particularly like, but she does, so it all balances out (I hope!)

 

Of course. But unlike in porn, where it is just a "given", there would need to be some communication if that were to be introduced into "real sex". So I guess that could be perceived as another MAJOR difference between porn and real sex: In real sex everything isn't just a given or all access pass. lol

[annie24]

Of course. But unlike in porn, where it is just a "given", there would need to be some communication if that were to be introduced into "real sex". So I guess that could be perceived as another MAJOR difference between porn and real sex: In real sex everything isn't just a given or all access pass. lol

 

Yeah. I've never been on a porn set, but I imagine the director probably tells the actors, "ok, in the next scene, you will do this, this and that." So, there has been a "communication" but it wasn't part of the video, for obvious reasons.

[Lonewing]

Yeah, it has deteriorated into some semantics issues which I was kind of afraid of.

 

I was just wondering about positions, whether certain things that are portrayed actually feel as good as the women make it look, etc.

 

But that's just what this discussion is. It's all SEX. The difference is in how we define it. But it's still sex. You can't get more real than that.

[Lonewing]

This is the biggest difference between porn and sex for me, personally. Guys, I know you think the center of the universe is inbetween your legs and while I love penis, I don't love it THAT much to go ga-ga over it when you just whip it out. Or to act like it's the best thing since chocolate ice cream sandwhiches... I assure you, the chocolate is calling my name more than your penis. However in my experience it's the exact opposite if you whip a boob out for a man. It's like 'boob, boob, boob, boob... boobie!!!'

 

The way my Ex-gf reacted during sex...yeah, let's just say she was really REALLY good at oral. It may not be the center of the universe, but for those five minutes she treated it like the center of the universe, and it felt GREAT! Usually, though, that was because if it weren't for oral, I could still go a couple more rounds, and at that point she'd already be one or two orgasms deep and Done with it...hence, the oral finish.

[Lonewing]

That same definition would suggest that a violent crime like rape is real sex too because it involves a penis and vagina.

 

And here^ the term rape and sex are used synonomously, which is also rather disturbing. Rape is a crime against humanity/act of violence , not a sexual act.

 

I can't see how those statements regarding rape help make the point about porn in any useful way at all. Yikes...

 

Yikes indeed. However, you must realize that it is only in recent times where rape has been villanized llike it has been. If you go back into classical art, you'll find quite a number of surviving pieces entitled something along the lines of "The Rape of..." And in these pictures the female is usually nude and the male is presented with a number of wealth statuse symbols such as fancy clothes, horses, and so forth, and he's usually seizing upon her and pulling her onto his horse or any other such fashion. I've always found that a bit interesting - because it almost seems to me like a couple hundred/thousand years ago it was even glorified to do such a thing, especially if the woman involved was not of your clan, your village, or your country. how far we have come indeed!!

 

I brought up this Rape point, though, because in the end you have real orgasms [both male and female] and also real pregnancies as a result of such an interaction. Yes, Rape is Sex. It's not very pretty Sex, but it's still Sex, and it produces the same phsyiological reactions in either case. Is it a mystery then why rape victims have such difficulties enjoying Sex again afterwards? NO! Because it's still Sex!! The only difference between consensual and nonconsensual Sex is a mental state, which does make all the difference indeed, in how the act is remembered but those involved. What is Porn? It's Penis on Vagina and Vagina on Penis. It doesn't get much more Real than that.

 

The only difference between consensual Sex and Porn, then is that one is consensual Sex on a camera under the watchful eye of a director who has experience in producing what looks best visually, and the other is just two people having Sex - which may not even be that good of Sex in the first place, whereas not everybody is as good at Sex as others. Some people have more Practice and get more involved in it...

 

And as more than a couple have pointed out, there's a number here who have faked real sex just as often as those in Porn have had real sex.

 

The point I'm making is, It's all Sex. There is an element of Acting involved, but it's still Sex.

 

Here's a little experiment everyone here in relationships could do to prove my hypothesis: find some porn you like, share it with your partner, and then see if you can't duplicate the film in person. My theory is, you will find some things you like, some things you don't like, some things you never would have thought to try that actually feel good, and then some things you simply will not ever do, or will not ever be able to do! And finally, give your partner oral like a pronstar, and see how it improves or diminishes the act. I have a further theory that every man wants to be given oral like a porn star at least once in their life. But I'm not down with the moneyshot, though it's a mess. My ex had the perfect solution every time, though...she swallowed...hence, issue gone!

[hers]

I think it's important to point out that womens real moans are based on what it feels like. I moan one way when you're playing with my nipples and another way when you're going down on me. And yet I may breathe heavier when you're kissing my neck or stomach. But women in porn moan the same way no matter where they're being touched. That's when I know it's fake. Having a nipple tweaked gently causes a quick breath followed by a light moan. The way they grab or bite nipples in porn is followed by a loud moan with no inward breath. Touching anywhere has the same reaction but it's not like that with real sex. (I'm not getting involved in the semantics of what that word means)

[Day_Walker]

Porn is fantasy, which means we dont have to act appropriately, it means we do exactly what we want to do and there is another willing participant. Sex in normal life is not a fantasy because there are nicities that have to be taken into consideration and the fact that most likely both parties may be into some acts that their partner is not into.

[capuccino83]

If you go back into antiquity, gladiator fighting as a form of entertainment and pillaging as a show of political force and public executions such as beheading as a form of punishment were every day excepted things too. What's your point?

[The_Seeker]

If you go back into antiquity, gladiator fighting as a form of entertainment and pillaging as a show of political force and public executions such as beheading as a form of punishment were every day excepted things too. What's your point?

 

To write long scientific Da Vinci essay codes for you to turn into a monkey scratching its head and have a brain fart.

[Lonewing]

If you go back into antiquity, gladiator fighting as a form of entertainment and pillaging as a show of political force and public executions such as beheading as a form of punishment were every day excepted things too. What's your point?

 

My point is, we're still the same human beings caught up in the idea that if we call something by a different word, it is then somehow something different thing altogether.

 

As for your examples, we still enjoy gladiator sports. Pillaging is currently out of vogue, but then that's because we have pretty heavily punished those who do it. We're still dealing with pirates off the coast of Somalia, though. And finally, while beheading is not enjoyed in this country, it is still very much in style in the middle east, so to say that it's an extinct idea of antiquity is a far cry at best. I'm almost certain a large number of people would LOVE to see sex offenders put through some rather painful public trials, so again, I'm not so sure our current Homo sapiens is all too far removed from that antique relic.

 

If you remove electricity, you may discover just how frail we still are.

 

The point is, we may want to confuse ourselves through colorful sematics, but at the end of the day, you have to go with the physical action that is actually happening. Is that physical action actually happening? Then you have that physcial action happening. Done.

[Vince99]

I think it's important to point out that womens real moans are based on what it feels like. I moan one way when you're playing with my nipples and another way when you're going down on me. And yet I may breathe heavier when you're kissing my neck or stomach. But women in porn moan the same way no matter where they're being touched. That's when I know it's fake. Having a nipple tweaked gently causes a quick breath followed by a light moan. The way they grab or bite nipples in porn is followed by a loud moan with no inward breath. Touching anywhere has the same reaction but it's not like that with real sex. (I'm not getting involved in the semantics of what that word means)

 

Does it actually feel good enough to cause moaning when the man is thrusting in and out? I had heard that the vagina doesn't have all that many nerve endings past the very front opening, and a woman is only pleasured when the clitoris is being stimulated. But obviously in porn they are moaning the whole time he is inside.

[hers]

My real moans coincide with his thrusts. But he has to go deep and hit the back with each thrust. Anything else, to me, is just frction and I don't particularly care for that. My husband always knows when I'm not enjoying it bc I'm quieter. But if it's feeling good, it's thrsut-moan-thrust-moan. I probably sound like an idiot but he doesn't care. He knows though what cues to take if I'm not moaning. But I've always been noisy in sex so I guess it helps.

[tiredofvampires]

I was just wondering about positions, whether certain things that are portrayed actually feel as good as the women make it look, etc.

 

Many, many of the things in porn don't feel as good as they're made to look. Of course every woman is different, so when I say this, I'm basing it on what I believe your average widespread (no pun intended) vagina warm fuzzies would be.

 

First of all, in most run-of-the-mill porn, just about everything done during oral on a woman is nonsense. I have a real bone to pick (pun?) about this, lol, because it makes me worry that porn is creating a generation of bad lovers in men. I actually found an oral sex "tutorial" vid of 3 veteran porn stars -- 2 male (including Ron Jeremy), 1 female (older), who were walking the viewer through what techniques really get a woman off. It was a pretty cool video, and while it was pretty stimulating to watch, it felt much more educational. It was almost clinical, but not to the point of being dry (puns are a-flying.) I really liked the no-nonsense feel, and I was very impressed with how well these 3 knew what they were talking about. You also could tell that even though they were paid, they were sincerely enjoying what they were doing when they got down to business. But one of the guys hit the spot (literally) when he said, "All those tongue-flicking scenes on the clit are only good to give the camera a good view, but none of that does anything." He proceeded to imitate what's usually shown in porn (light, random tongue teasers) and looked up at his partner's face and said to the camera, "See? That's not doing anything for her." It kinda cracked me up. All 3 talked a lot about how to caress/kiss/tongue the insides of the thighs, belly, groin, etc. and work your way to teasing, and then how to suck on the clit to keep a rhythm going, etc. All three of the girls featured as "subjects" had obvious VERY real, intense multiple orgasms, as you could see from their abdominal paroxysms. But each took a while to build up to this, and a lot of stroking and caressing, and taking unhurried time to get there, so each scene was about 30 minutes, with the commentary included. Even though these guys were fully clothed (in what looked like regular work clothes, ha!), they made the huge point that you have to watch your partner's reactions and responses and adjust, which just NEVER happens in porn, where guys are on autopilot.

 

Compare this to the cursory, compulsory "give you a lick? 'k, you're good now" oral sex in most porn, that's really just an intro to the bj. Whether it's amateur or staged, it's very rare to see anyone run the film as long as it really takes in real life, when you're doing it well.

 

So just whatever you do, don't go around thinking that that skimpy time they give a lady's parts in porn, orally, is all that.

 

Along with that, agreed with the others who said that the slapping of the kitten is mostly just stupid. And when anything is manually done, I'm usually cringing, because it seems guys in porn just rub indiscriminately all over the place, as if they were trying to scrub a stain out of the rug. OWWWWW!!! GENTLER, Jesus, these poor women!!! Until you find the right spots to start going harder (which she will indicate if she's vocal, and expressive), better not to use your fingers as meat tenderizers.

 

Also, in some porn, there's no warm-up, they just stick a finger in and the woman starts moaning like crazy. LMAO, what BS. You don't go from take-the-undies-off-cold to delirious moaning just because someone is twisting a finger inside you.

 

And ditto for all the fake moaning. Real sex involves a buildup, that's why orgasm is called a "climax." You don't just start shrieking right off the bat and continue at the same decibel level throughout.

 

As for positions, I'm not someone to really comment on that, since I have some pretty stiff muscles, but I have to wonder how many girls actually can get their ankles to touch their ears. Seriously. If you LIKE this position and can easily accomplish it in real life, I'd love to hear from you. Same for the sideways angle (rear entry of the man) where the upper leg of the woman is doing a splits, with her entire leg bent towards her head. Does anyone actually do that?

 

 

This doesn't even begin to go into all the other ways porn's depiction of sex is contrived and unrealistic, staged and predictable, depersonalized and artificial and even negligent (like, some of the things that don't feel good are widely depicted, but a TON of the things that feel good to women are NOT depicted because they're probably boring to watch for most men -- like subtle kisses on the neck and ears, licking of other errogenous zones, copious passionate kissing, etc.), but if you're wondering about how some of the sex acts actually match up to real life, there's a bit to consider.