bananashake Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Dude is 34. Has been married twice. He cheated on his first wife and ended up getting his mistress pregnant. She was only his sex partner, there were no feelings involved by him or her. She was also married. Anyway, he and his wife divorced, but only because he wanted one. She wanted tow work out out despite the baby in another woman's belly. Woman has the baby and he is very active in baby's life. And then 4 months later, he met someone else. He got her pregnant right away and married her. He now has 2 sons. And they are 14 months apart. He married this lady while she was pregnant. Their marriage lasted 2 years. It only lasted 2 years because she initiated the divorce after she fell in love with someone else and began having her affair. It's been just over 3 years since their divorce. The divorce ws granted because of "mental cruelty" by him. But despite the mental cruely, he and her are now best friends and she flirts with him very heavy. Almost like she regrets her divorce. They talk or text several times a day about their son. whatever. A year after this divorce, he met a girl and dated her for 6 months. He cheated on her emotionally with someone else. and he left her and asked that person out a month later. That was 2 years ago. And the girl he broke up with is still, to this day, madly in love with him. the girl he left her for is ME. We were together 18 months and he put me through the wringer and back with his emotional baggage, failure to communicate, etc. Yet,. I still love him. So, why do all of us women love him? What is your take? Link to comment
michelemybell Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Well, they fall for him because he probably can be very charming. They stay with him because of low self-esteem. They want him to be the guy that they first fell in love with. But that was just a facade. That guy has some serious issues. I think you're probably smart enough to know you should be running away from a guy with a history like this. Don't you think you deserve better than this? As hard as it is, walk away and learn to love yourself more than you are to have to settle for this. Really look at what you are you lacking in your own life that you feel okay sticking with a guy who really is no prize. I see so many beautiful, amazing, talented women doing this to themselves (hanging on to a jerk) and it's heartbreaking. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 That's a question you need to answer for yourself. I wouldn't have touched him with a 10 foot pole. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Well, they fall for him because he probably can be very charming. They stay with him because of low self-esteem. They want him to be the guy that they first fell in love with. But that was just a facade. That guy has some serious issues. I think you're probably smart enough to know you should be running away from a guy with a history like this. Don't you think you deserve better than this? As hard as it is, walk away and learn to love yourself more than you are to have to settle for this. Really look at what you are you lacking in your own life that you feel okay sticking with a guy who really is no prize. I see so many beautiful, amazing, talented women doing this to themselves (hanging on to a jerk) and it's heartbreaking. Agreed. These woman are probably deeply wounded in same and seeking attention. The cause could be any number of things. This guy is probably very good at telling them what they want to hear and making them feel special in the moment. Charm can make people look past terrible behavior. For a literary example of this, look at Scarlett O'Hara from Gone With the Wind. She is a terrible person but so charming men fall on their knees before her. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 You're assuming these women love him. You have no idea if the basis for the relationship is love, need, money or something else entirely. There is no way I would have dated someone with that background because my goal was marriage and family and because we wouldn't have had common values. And remember it takes two - he didn't "get her pregnant" -they chose to have unprotected sex or not protected enough (most likely) and they chose to risk pregnancy. Link to comment
michelemybell Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Yes, I agree. But you have to admit that Rhett wasn't the best catch either. Wasn't he hanging out or "friends" with the prostitutes in town? I think he had some commitment issues himself. I don't understand that movie at all...LOL Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Yes, I agree. But you have to admit that Rhett wasn't the best catch either. Wasn't he hanging out or "friends" with the prostitutes in town? I think he had some commitment issues himself. I don't understand that movie at all...LOL Clark Gable (Rhett Butler) was the George Clooney of the 1930's! Rhett Butler was also a very selfish man and he was a war profiteer. As for the OP....often women think that their love will tame the guy and he will settle down. Men are also guilty of being attracted to the messed up women because often the messed up women know how to use sex appeal to attract the men...and these men also want to be "rescuers". Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Is he, by chance, extremely hot? Link to comment
Moontiger Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Yes, I agree. But you have to admit that Rhett wasn't the best catch either. Wasn't he hanging out or "friends" with the prostitutes in town? I think he had some commitment issues himself. I don't understand that movie at all...LOL Very true. And women fell all over him because he was very charming. Truthfully its not the romance I find confusing about the movie but the "happy" slaves, lol. I digress, the point is charm can blind people. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 I assume this man has a boatload of confidence since hes very active with women. That also helps me to further assume that he is experienced with women, so that comes with all the bells and whistles (good conversation, strong sexuality, setting off attractive triggers). Also, there is the belief where people want what they cant have- which is very real. Now, from what i read, is that these men play on a womans insecurities. They push and pull, and their cheating behavior is an extreme push, and chasing after this confident strong man is her wanting to return to when she was beautiful and wanted, she is seeking validation from someone who is meaningful to her. Link to comment
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