Did I overreacted? He does not take my hypothyroidism for real.

[ElizabethB]

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism a two years ago. Yesterday I had my ultrasound done and dr. told me that it is enlarge little bit but everything looks ok for now. When I asked if I can get cancer because it is not working properly, he said yes. He said that yearly check ups are very important.

Until this day, I did not read about my disease much. I did not take it too serious. What I read today scared me - all side effects I can get or already have.

 

I sent it to my husband to read it. His reaction was:

Hypochondriac, try to find this: when I fart, it really stinks. What is wrong with me?

 

Honestly, it made me pretty angry. He never took anything serious when it came to me. Only serious stuff in our house are his headaches, his back pain, his cold. I making all my disease up.

 

I emailed him back about his reaction, how un-respectful he is.

 

Did I overreacted???

[camus154]

According to the web, this is easily treatable and you should live a normal life (although you have to continue to take medication).

 

So yes. I would tend to side with your husband. You're overreacting.

[RedDress]

In life, a lot of times, it's not what you say it's how you say it. I really think that your husband is suffering from this problem.

 

Do I think that you are overreacting a bit worrying about cancer and trying to get him to read a bunch of articles? Yeah. It's a little overkill. I mean... go to your checkups. Do a little reading yourself. Make sure you take your meds and stay on top of things. But to want your husband to do extensive research on it? A bit much.

 

On the other hand... your husband was being insensitive. I wouldn't react well to my SO telling me to stop wasting my time on my own health and look up some useless garbage while calling me names. I get that he was trying to be funny and make light of things... but it's just not funny. At minimum he should be supportive of you educating yourself. But... no. He doesn't need to fawn all over you and comfort you. That's excessive. Actually... this is one of those cases where "yes, dear" applies quite nicely. He should have used it.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

As someone who works in the cancer field, I am appalled that people would trivialize something like this. Yes it IS a big deal. There is a risk..the doctor said there was a risk. Yes, it is important to read up on it and know. Yes, it is disconcerting to find out you have a condition that could lead to cancer...as opposed to not having that condition at all and therefore not having that worry on the back of your mind. No, I don't think you over-reacted at all. You reacted the way a lot of people react when they hear this kind of news...in other words, your reaction was perfectly normal. It is your husband's reaction that was cold, and unfeeling. You would think that as a spouse he would be a lot more concerned about you having a condition that could lead to cancer and needs to be monitored regularly.

[Seraphim]

^ I agree. Your health is your first wealth. If you do not have your health you don't have anything. That comes clearly to me as I found out today my friend's husband died of cancer last wed. If he has that attitude I would not be too worried when he had a cold. He will live. He just needs to learn to talk like a human being. What husband says that to a wife anyway? Well maybe a poor lame excuse for one does.

[camus154]

As someone who works in the cancer field, I am appalled that people would trivialize something like this. Yes it IS a big deal. There is a risk..the doctor said there was a risk.

 

Oh come on. Every single person walking the face of the earth runs the risk of developing cancer. Just because she has a risk doesn't mean she has cancer or that everyone should console her condition like she does.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Oh come on. Every single person walking the face of the earth runs the risk of developing cancer. Just because she has a risk doesn't mean she has cancer or that everyone should console her condition like she does.

 

There is a big difference between having no known medical risk factors for developing cancer and having the usual chance of developing it, vs having a diagnosed physiological problem that leads to a greater risk. Having this kind of risk means more careful monitoring than someone without it...and yes, when medical conditions lead to a higher risk, it can be a shock to the system and shouldn't be dismissed as trivial by a person who is not facing that risk.

[camus154]

Well, I just did my own quick research on this. Thyroid cancer is apparently one of the most treatable, curable cancers humans can get. And since the OP will be getting regular check ups for exactly that, her odds of catching it quickly--if she should ever get it--are that much better.

 

So I stand by my previous statement--I think she's overreacting. She doesn't have cancer, she has hyperthyroidism, a very treatable, extremely manageable condition. There is absolutely no reason to go off the deep end with worry over all the what-ifs here. This is exactly why doctors hate the internet, because patients do this...they "educate" themselves and then get all freaked out over nothing.

[Ilona Crow]

I don't know your husband, obviously, so I can't say what his reaction meant. It is possible, however, that he was trying (poorly) to calm your fears by his response. Even if he simply wasn't taking it seriously, I would definitely advise approaching the issue with him in a non-aggressive way. You can just sit down with him and say "this is important to me, and I'm scared. I would really appreciate your support in this." Try to avoid phrases like "You don't take my concerns seriously", because people who feel cornered will generally strike out, and that doesn't help anyone. Whether or not other people see this as something worth worrying about, it's clearly something YOU worry about, so you should be able to talk to your husband about it. Just try to help him understand how much his support would mean to you without attacking him.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Well, I just did my own quick research on this. Thyroid cancer is apparently one of the most treatable, curable cancers humans can get. And since the OP will be getting regular check ups for exactly that, her odds of catching it quickly--if she should ever get it--are that much better.

 

So I stand by my previous statement--I think she's overreacting. She doesn't have cancer, she has hyperthyroidism, a very treatable, extremely manageable condition. There is absolutely no reason to go off the deep end with worry over all the what-ifs here. This is exactly why doctors hate the internet, because patients do this...they "educate" themselves and then get all freaked out over nothing.

 

Everyone reacts to health threats differently, especially when the news is very fresh. It may be treatable and manageable but there are indeed people who get thyroid cancer...it is not over-reacting to be afraid and concerned. As for the internet...actually many people are indeed more knowledgeable because of it and are actually helping the doctors manage the disease. Knowledge is power. Doctors see many many patients a day and simply don't have the time to know everything. Doctors are upset simply because it challenges their ego. Doctors who have do not have an over-inflated ego actually welcome the information that patients find. In fact, patients are encouraged to do their homework and find out information.

[Seraphim]

The other part of this too is; what husband says this to a worried wife? "Hypochondriac, try to find this: when I fart, it really stinks. What is wrong with me?" I mean, is he 12? Is he socially maladjusted? That is not how you treat someone who is your mate who you have promised to love and cherish. That is 13 year old boy talk to their friends, not a grown man to his worried wife. And if that is how he talks on a regular basis I think he belongs back in JR High.