WhenWillILove Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 Well, I'd love to know who you were referring to, because I haven't seen many "plagued by gold-diggers" posts. The ones I've seen involving (low-level) gold-diggers...well, they're annoyances that have more to do with cultural/gender expectations than anything else. It's not even as much about gold diggers as the notion that "It's the man that always gets screwed up in the end." Obviously, this is more prevalent in a Western country but still! As far as divorce, child support and alimony are concerned. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Gold diggers are usually the hottest of the hot. Many men like hot above almost anything else. Many women like power and money above almost everything else. Men make their own problems when they take up with gold diggers. Why do they not just marry the girl-next-door? Nope, not for these guys. I have little or no sympathy. There are too many wonderful men out there who really care about what's inside a woman to worry about men who go for the "Trophy". Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 usally because there hot.. and if the man knows there gold diggers.. they will play along for a while.. have sex for a while till they get bored with it.. and then just move on from gold diggers.. well these are the smart ones.. theres few that fall in love with the beauty of a gold digger and then the guy get played in the end.. Link to comment
WhenWillILove Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 usally because there hot.. and if the man knows there gold diggers.. they will play along for a while.. have sex for a while till they get bored with it.. and then just move on from gold diggers.. well these are the smart ones.. theres few that fall in love with the beauty of a gold digger and then the guy get played in the end.. And then the gold digger gets old and the story ends with a divorce Link to comment
WhenWillILove Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 Gold diggers are usually the hottest of the hot. Many men like hot above almost anything else. Many women like power and money above almost everything else. Men make their own problems when they take up with gold diggers. Why do they not just marry the girl-next-door? Nope, not for these guys. I have little or no sympathy. There are too many wonderful men out there who really care about what's inside a woman to worry about men who go for the "Trophy". Oh, I'm sure gold diggers do have feelings. You have to consider their upbringings and relationships to see the psychology behind their gold digging mentality. Not all beautiful 'hot' women were created equal. Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 And then the gold digger gets old and the story ends with a divorce True.. or the gold digger gets old.. she might change her ways or be stuck in a rel she doesnt want to be, just because she is forced to be.. Link to comment
WhenWillILove Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 gold diggers are usually the hottest of the hot. Many men like hot above almost anything else. Many women like power and money above almost everything else. Men make their own problems when they take up with gold diggers. Why do they not just marry the girl-next-door? Nope, not for these guys. I have little or no sympathy. There are too many wonderful men out there who really care about what's inside a woman to worry about men who go for the "trophy". yep! Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 It's not even as much about gold diggers as the notion that "It's the man that always gets screwed up in the end." Obviously, this is more prevalent in a Western country but still! As far as divorce, child support and alimony are concerned. Ahh, I see what you're saying. Unfortunately, most men of my generation (and younger) know a lot of divorced men, either peers or older relatives/co-workers/etc. The sheer amount of anecdotal evidence we accumulate during our lives...well, it puts a lot of us off marriage. Especially if we don't see the appeal in the first place. I made a decision never to get married, and I've never regretted it. With the laws being the way they are, I can't imagine why any man would ever consider it. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Obviously, these men could have found other women but nonetheless, they chose the gold digger type. chances are will not be bringing anything to the table as far as her looks and yes, she's interested in me spending lots and lots of money on her. If anyone has sympathy for these types of men, wow, are you blind. Ask yourself, why can't he date other women? Why does he pick women of a certain type? Aaannnd what about those women who are attracted to Mr. Big Money and do love him...yet once he goes broke, the loves fades away? How do you know all these things!? How do you know if a woman is a gold-digger? How do you know that a marriage has failed because a guy has gone broke. And who says that anyone has sympathy for "these types of men". I, and most people I know, don't give two hoots what other people do. As another poster said above ... to each their own. Look. Most men who marry gold diggers are not being duped. They know very well that 1. she's beautiful but poor, and 2. I'm rich. If a man can't see that difference right away, then go get a brain. Granted, there are some men who do fall in love. But most of them also know that money attracts women. "Poor"? Someone who is earning a lot less than the person she is married to, or dating even, doesn't mean she is "poor". Maybe she is rich in other qualities. It also doesn't make her a gold-digger. But lets just say, the rich old guy sitting over there with his young busty and beautiful 20 something year old wife is a gold-digger ... we know it, he knows it, she knows we know it but most of all we all know he isn't duped ... he's loving the fact that his money has bought him what other guys his age can't afford ...so he's happy, she's happy. So whats the problem? Why should that bother your or anyone else? It is and those are very good points. It's just that I'm sensing a lot of bitterness on the part of certain users in the sense that they are giving way too much sympathy for the man and very little for the woman. Who is bitter? I thought it was totally on the contrary. I'm not sure what you mean anyway ... do you mean that there is no sympathy for the so called gold-diggers? I'm confused by that comment. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 A guy with money attracts women, if the girl is hitting him up for the material, then shes hitting him up for the material, if the wealthy-man wants her for a few nights... then he wants her for a few nights. But, again, he is attractive... he attracts females, so his standards are high and he can be selective, and its usually women who can attract males. A good looking guy attracts a lot of women. Now, we can argue the same thing. Is it all sexual, is he shallow, is the girl he likes shallow? Same thing with these kinds of men, they can fly through women. A funny guy that is always the life at a party... same thing. People can assume the woman lacks self-esteem and tries to cling on this man. What if its because his ability to lead and change the atmosphere of everyone at a party turn her on? These kinds of men can also fly through women. Its whatever tickles their sexy-bone. I am sure in all 3 cases you can have the extreme "negative" who target that type of man just for the sake of something outside of real attraction; the real golddigger who wants riches, the shallow self-centered girl that wants her goregous man to just show off but otherwise hes an idiot (or she has deep insecurities), and the girl who clings on the charming cool guy because she wants friends and a better social life. Link to comment
WhenWillILove Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 You ask why do I care...Well, you care enough to reply to my threads. So someone sure cares...hahahhahahha! Link to comment
WhenWillILove Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 Ahh, I see what you're saying. Unfortunately, most men of my generation (and younger) know a lot of divorced men, either peers or older relatives/co-workers/etc. The sheer amount of anecdotal evidence we accumulate during our lives...well, it puts a lot of us off marriage. Especially if we don't see the appeal in the first place. I made a decision never to get married, and I've never regretted it. With the laws being the way they are, I can't imagine why any man would ever consider it. I understand...but a lot of those older generations is where the women was less likely to be in the work force. I mean, how old are these men? 60? 70? Today's economy doesn't really permit the woman to be a SHM unless he's loaded. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 You ask why do I care...Well, you care enough to reply to my threads. So someone sure cares...hahahhahahha! Umm I was asking a question that is perfectly answerable and I actually asked why it should bother you. I really do find your thoughts, on this and your other threads, interesting to say the least. What's with the attitude? Link to comment
WhenWillILove Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 Umm I was asking a question that is perfectly answerable and I actually asked why it should bother you. I really do find your thoughts, on this and your other threads, interesting to say the least. What's with the attitude? People on this forum cannot honestly ask themselves that question, "Why do you care?" Because the truth is, if you didn't care, you wouldn't be reading these threads, or even be on this forum to answer other people's questions, give advice, and so on. You just wouldn't make an account, log in frequently and then devote your time of day to writing lengthy posts. But you do care, therefore you are here. As far as me 'caring', it's more of an observation. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 People on this forum cannot honestly ask themselves that question, "Why do you care?" Because the truth is, if you didn't care, you wouldn't be reading these threads, or even be on this forum to answer other people's questions, give advice, and so on. You just wouldn't make an account, log in frequently and then devote your time of day to writing lengthy posts. But you do care, therefore you are here. As far as me 'caring', it's more of an observation. I stumbled accross eNA after a relationship broke down. This was only a year after my 13 year marriage had also broken down. I was at an extremely low point and I found some much needed support here. I can see that you've been looking through my threads as you have resurrected an old one, rather coincidentally asking me "what do you care?" Not sure why you felt the need to do that. You won't find any of my original threads as they were deleted when my identity was discovered. Now, having moved on considerably since those early days, I like to give back what I once received. I have also made many, many friends on here. As with most people some threads grab my attention and if I think I may be able to help or it looks interesting or it may be a hot topic I will read and maybe comment on them. I didn't ask myself anything. I know why I'm here. I simply wanted to know why it should bother you so. I'm not sure why that should ruffle your feathers. Yeah its kind of a rhetorical question but it is also one that is perfectly answerable should you hsve wanted to. Link to comment
WhenWillILove Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 It doesn't bother me at all that you are reading and replying to my thread. But apparently, it bothers you why I care to devote a thread to gold diggers. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 It doesn't bother me at all that you are reading and replying to my thread. But apparently, it bothers you why I care to devote a thread to gold diggers. Not at all, I really, really am perplexed why you should think such a thing. It interests me, even amuses me, if I'm to be honest. And I wasn't asking whether it bothered you if I was reading and replying to your threads, I was referring to the question I had asked previously which evidently ruffled your feathers. I have noticed (more so in your other threads) that you can become a tad aggressive in your responses when you don't like what someone has said. It really isn't necessary. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 It is and those are very good points. It's just that I'm sensing a lot of bitterness on the part of certain users in the sense that they are giving way too much sympathy for the man and very little for the woman. It's very easy to read tone into typed words especially when you are operating from a biased perspective like yours (meaning your tendency to generalize and make broad assumptions based on little information). I think there are constant perceptions that one or the other gender is getting "more" sympathy. In general finding a spouse is difficult for many people -I like hearing the love at first sight going smoothly to happily ever after but that's not the majority in real life. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I don't think being beautiful, uneducated, unemployed, and without a career makes someone a gold digger. If this person loves the man she's married to, she's not a gold digger. Gold digger simply means you married for money instead of love. And, I would assume most of the time these women lie to the men they marry so they are unaware. Link to comment
WhenWillILove Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 It's very easy to read tone into typed words especially when you are operating from a biased perspective like yours (meaning your tendency to generalize and make broad assumptions based on little information). I think there are constant perceptions that one or the other gender is getting "more" sympathy. In general finding a spouse is difficult for many people -I like hearing the love at first sight going smoothly to happily ever after but that's not the majority in real life. Right...but so were the guys making these broad, generalized statements that the woman gets everything and the man gets screwed over. Link to comment
WhenWillILove Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 I don't think being beautiful, uneducated, unemployed, and without a career makes someone a gold digger. If this person loves the man she's married to, she's not a gold digger. Gold digger simply means you married for money instead of love. And, I would assume most of the time these women lie to the men they marry so they are unaware. Possibility. But the way I look at it- this woman needs this man more badly than the woman who does have a career. Therefore, she's more apt to cling on to him. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I agree with pl3asehelp. It's not about being beautiful and having no career...it's about marrying for money. Good luck finding someone who will admit to that though. It's basically a legal form of prostitution - money in exchange for sex. But as long as the hooker and the john marry, then it's legal in the eyes of the law. Messed up right? Honestly, I don't care much about gold-diggers (or hookers) for that matter. I say let the rich men and the gold-diggers be together. The guy is a downright fool if he doesn't see what's going on, and if he does know, then I say that he and her both deserve each other. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Right...but so were the guys making these broad, generalized statements that the woman gets everything and the man gets screwed over. That's what I've generally seen happen. I know of situations where it didn't--and I know of situations where women are getting screwed over in terms of child-support--but the sheer number of times I've seen it happen...well, I can see why marriage rates are decreasing. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Possibility. But the way I look at it- this woman needs this man more badly than the woman who does have a career. Therefore, she's more apt to cling on to him. It's definitely true that someone without a career stands to benefit more financially from marrying someone with money than someone with a career who could be financially independent, but this doesn't make her a gold digger. Would this person be more apt to 'cling' (what does this mean, stay married) ? I don't know. I don't see how that's relevant. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Right...but so were the guys making these broad, generalized statements that the woman gets everything and the man gets screwed over. Two wrongs don't make a right nor is it helpful to resort to broad generalized statements in response to broad generalized statements. Link to comment
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