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last chance that I'll give myself... or us... your comments needed


mesmerized

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I have a question to you all... when my EX GF asks me "how are you?" or "how do you feel?" what should be my reply? Should I tell her the truth?

 

Uh. No. On less the truth is.. "I am wonderful" but if it's "Damn I wish i was dead" then no.. lol...

You don't want to show your ex... that you're weak.

I never really understood, how showing emotion is weak, but at 21. I am learning... that whoever have the most emotions loses.

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Why did she stop trusting you?

 

there were many reasons. I lied about being in touch with somebody I wanted to be friends with. she didn't want me to text that person when we were together but I did.

 

 

Uh. No. On less the truth is.. "I am wonderful" but if it's "Damn I wish i was dead" then no.. lol...

You don't want to show your ex... that you're weak.

I never really understood, how showing emotion is weak, but at 21. I am learning... that whoever have the most emotions loses.

 

then I have already lost because I'm the one who has the most emotions...

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Mes, it ain't really fair of her to dictate who you can and cannot converse with. As long as two people are open with one another, then friends of opposite genders should be absolutely fine, as long as the friend is respectful of the established relationship.

 

I wish I could forget about her and never see her again. I think she's seeing someone. I've given her the apartment to make her life easier and now she just talks to me when there's business behind it. It hurts so much to realize how little a meant to her.

 

And if that's the case, then she sure as hell doesn't deserve you man.

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hiya mes ...another fab pic ..

 

you don't have to try and imagine yourself with another nor do you have to keep imgaining yourself

with anna ..

just concentrate on you you and you ...other women and the thought of probably make you

feel worse and just remind you of anna ..so don't put yourself in these mindsets that upset

you ..

 

I wish as always mes I could tell you how to suddenly not love her ... that would be a million pound deal somewhere

tp have those answers.

 

 

keep plodding on mes ...keep trying to stop the thoughts turning into drama in your mind.

 

half the battle for people like me and you is to stop the thoughts.. .

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Hi there,

 

It was allright... I met some kind people there... I'm the only foreigner there so I'm quite peculiar to them...

 

anyway, naturally my EX must have ruined my day today... she's going to party tonight again and naturally she didn't ask me if I wanted to join... you know, I think I'll tell her what I think about her. When she was lonely, she needed me and once she found new company she just abandoned those she doesn't need anymore.

 

It's Friday night and I feel so lonely... so goddamn lonely... Can someone listen to this with me?

 

 

 

Here's the English version of the lyrics but it's much better in Polish...

 

Mum, I'm writing you a poem.

Maybe the last one, surely the first

The night is still and dark

I'm sitting up in bed and she's sleeping beside me

 

And she's breathing so steadily

Music is filtering through to me

Or is it just the buzzing in my head

I'm sitting here, awash with tears

As I'm sad and alone

Fear is choking me

 

Solitude is such a dreadful fear

Overwhelming me, pervading me

You know, Mum, I've imagined

There is no God, no

There is no God.

 

Calm is only my home

Where you remain and where I no longer am

Where I will probably never return

Mum, I love you very much, I love you

 

I thought you'd done me wrong

But it was me who's done you wrong

Such a shame I grasped it so late

So late did I understand

Understand

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Hey Mes* ~ Just checking in...I've been out of range for a few days*

 

Good move on the gym...It will pump good endorphins into your body and make you feel a lot better...

 

Don't over do it though...I've heard you can lift too much weights....

 

Everything else seems normal...You miss being with your ex, we all get that...But you have come so far already and been to the darkest corners of your mind.

 

I am glad to see your healing continue....Well done*

 

Ever Forward

Carus* 8-)

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Hi Carus, thx for dropping by. I'm definitely better today... still I've got this cold, cold feeling that surrounds my heart.

 

I've been writing some poems recently and I've done a lot of thinking about the whole world. It's so sad to see how the whole planet just wants to get more and more... new cellphones, bigger TV screens, faster cars... you can see that in China a lot. Even love is supposed to be sold in 3D now so that people can nearly touch it in the movie theatre 'cause otherwise it's gonna be too goddamn difficult for them to imagine it... it makes me feel sick.

 

I watched Forest Gump yesterday, again. Absolutely amazing. Mesmerizing. Love it. Just love it.

 

Maybe I'm just a weirdo... stay with the blues people.

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Hi Carus, thx for dropping by. I'm definitely better today...

You don't know how glad I am to hear that

... still I've got this cold, cold feeling that surrounds my heart.

Yeh I know that one...But it is slowing thawing my friend*

I've been writing some poems recently....

More good news*

Even love is supposed to be sold in 3D now so that people can nearly touch it in the movie theatre 'cause otherwise it's gonna be too goddamn difficult for them to imagine it... it makes me feel sick.

Try not to worry about it too much mate...The world is full of nasty stuff and we need to find the beauty that still exists...

 

If you concentrate too much on the bad stuff you will only suffer further....

 

I don't even read newspapers

 

Ever Forward

Carus* 8-)

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hiya mes hiya carus

 

carus I don't read the papers or watch the news ..I made a choice a long time ago to live in ignorance !! my beautiful

ignorance.

 

how ya doing mes ? I have had a dodgy couple of days I will admit ..hit rock bottom.

 

I then fell out with a friend yesterday then an hour later got a text to say one of my punters had died and he is my age ..very sad.

he was battling as an alcoholic , the last time I saw him he was very thin , very yellow but on the mend and promised never

to touch another drop ..so I was a little taken aback to get this text .

 

anyway it car boot today ..you coming ?

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how ya doing mes ? I have had a dodgy couple of days I will admit ..hit rock bottom.

 

I then fell out with a friend yesterday then an hour later got a text to say one of my punters had died and he is my age ..very sad.

he was battling as an alcoholic , the last time I saw him he was very thin , very yellow but on the mend and promised never

to touch another drop ..so I was a little taken aback to get this text .

 

anyway it car boot today ..you coming ?

 

sure, I can come along! maybe we could haggle a bit with the sellers, I have a lot of practice

 

I'm sorry to hear about the man... hope you're feeling a bit better today Star...

 

As for me, well I need you guys to back me up here... I'm planning on taking over my EX's apartment after the kind of treatment she gave me today and 2 days ago... she's behaving like a cold-blooded, self-centered, conceited, ruthless... and here comes the "b-word" I can't stand her at all, she's like a whole different person to me and I think she doesn't deserve anything from me anymore. I let her stay there and I banished myself but the only thing she cares for is her own rear. When I was needed she talked to me nicely. Once she got what she wanted she changed 180 degrees. Therefore I think I should take what's mine and just wreck havoc even at the cost of permanent war between us... I don't care anymore, I'm sorry, I know you might say it's improper and selfish but after her today's words towards me I'm not going to sit tight like a pushover...

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