pippy longstocking Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Yaam cause thats what im hear for /rolls eyes NP =) haha well ...I needed to know to follow the story I have nothing to say regarding the real reason your here because I don't fully know if I buy into it ..something seems amiss to me Link to comment
conflictedlove Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I am actually going thru this right now, except I am one of the females involved and when her and I found out about each other I was pregnant. I wish he would've been honest with me from the beginning because now it seems I was always ”the other woman” when I never even knew the first woman existed. If you really love and care for both woman you should come clean because it isn't fair to either of them. you need to man up to your wrong doings and face reality that after all is said and done you might be left alone... Link to comment
thatguyrandom Posted January 17, 2012 Author Share Posted January 17, 2012 I am actually going thru this right now, except I am one of the females involved and when her and I found out about each other I was pregnant. I wish he would've been honest with me from the beginning because now it seems I was always ”the other woman” when I never even knew the first woman existed. If you really love and care for both woman you should come clean because it isn't fair to either of them. you need to man up to your wrong doings and face reality that after all is said and done you might be left alone... Omg im so sorry to hear about ur situation. I never intended to hurt anyone now im hurting all of us. Since your going through this and ur on their perspective how do u think I should handle this? Should I try to keep 1? Should I tell them and try to keep both if their okay with it(Hihgly unlikely)? I made myself an emotional wreck for the past 5 months thinking about all this and now im just unhappy all the time. Link to comment
lalalollipops Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 ^ wow are you forreal? Do you even realise what you're saying? It actually makes me think intense therapy IS what you need. o_O Link to comment
thatguyrandom Posted January 17, 2012 Author Share Posted January 17, 2012 ^ wow are you forreal? Do you even realise what you're saying? It actually makes me think intense therapy IS what you need. o_O What did I say wrong? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Break up with both of them. No other option that is kind. Link to comment
thatguyrandom Posted January 17, 2012 Author Share Posted January 17, 2012 Break up with both of them. No other option that is kind. I can't Just break up with both of them >. I was going to try and tell them at the same time and see how it goes but idk if them meeting is the smartest things. Link to comment
sara-pezzini Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 you continue to say how it all affects you and will affect you to lose either of them, have you ever honestly taken a minute to think about their feelings??????? either of them, they have a boyfriend who they think loves them, they plan a future, they trust him, and it is all a lie? if i were either of those women you would hurt me so much and scar me for life....ever thought about that? you need to come clean, with both of them and not keep one as a back up option, i would not ever want to be one, so i am sure they won't either, you need to let them go for their sake and not think about yourself and how it affects you, you did this, deal with the consequences and grow up Link to comment
thatguyrandom Posted January 17, 2012 Author Share Posted January 17, 2012 you continue to say how it all affects you and will affect you to lose either of them, have you ever honestly taken a minute to think about their feelings??????? either of them, they have a boyfriend who they think loves them, they plan a future, they trust him, and it is all a lie? if i were either of those women you would hurt me so much and scar me for life....ever thought about that? you need to come clean, with both of them and not keep one as a back up option, i would not ever want to be one, so i am sure they won't either, you need to let them go for their sake and not think about yourself and how it affects you, you did this, deal with the consequences and grow up Im all for dealing with the consequences I know its gonna happen i currently told both Of them I need to talk to them and their already worried. >.> Im gonna go through with this and if either of them wanna stay with me im not gonna say no I love them. And yes I say me alot MMEMEMEMEME..Do u people not realize in the end its your own personal happiness that matters. Im not doing this completely for them but for myself as well im not happy doing this to people i care about and ill never be able to be happy as long as this continues. Link to comment
daniel001 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 its hard not to have an ego when you were a all state athlete and workout 24/7 OK, i was just readin up until here and taking it all in. but that comment, 'its hard not to have an ego when you WERE an all state athlete and workout 24/7'... i actually laughed out loud. mate, you need to grow up bit. 1) WERE - maybe you need to move on now? 2) plenty of people are far more successful than some all state athlete and remain perfectly grounded. so what, you can kick a ball, run fast or throw a piece of metal or something? perhaps you even get paid cash money to do so...again, plenty of people have been faster, bigger, richer, whatever and they have managed to show respect to other people - particularly those they supposedly care about. it all comes down to respect. a pretty simple word with a pretty simple meaning. Link to comment
thatguyrandom Posted January 17, 2012 Author Share Posted January 17, 2012 OK, i was just readin up until here and taking it all in. but that comment, 'its hard not to have an ego when you WERE an all state athlete and workout 24/7'... i actually laughed out loud. mate, you need to grow up bit. 1) WERE - maybe you need to move on now? 2) plenty of people are far more successful than some all state athlete and remain perfectly grounded. so what, you can kick a ball, run fast or throw a piece of metal or something? perhaps you even get paid cash money to do so...again, plenty of people have been faster, bigger, richer, whatever and they have managed to show respect to other people - particularly those they supposedly care about. it all comes down to respect. a pretty simple word with a pretty simple meaning. Idc whos more successful then me or faster then me. and good guess about me getting paid to do it. >.> I choose what I do because its what i wanted to do. I know I need to move on. Apparently i dont understand the concept of respect. Link to comment
delicous Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I am sorry, but some of your responses are still corresponding to YOU, you, you , you, you... I couldn't even finish reading some of your responses to otheres because of the fact that you still keep mentioning you!... This isn't just about you, try looking at the whole picture. You are hurting and they will be hurting and you and both of these girls will need A LOT of TIME to heal. The sooner you let them loose, the sooner the healing can begine. Have you ever heard the term "shobanistic pig or Womanizer?" Im not calling you that, however I believe you are becoming this type of person whether you agree or not, this is what I have started to question the more and more I read your post replys. It's very sad to think about what these girls are going to be going through when you tell them, however it will become, much much worse, the longer you wait. HOw would you feel if one of them commited suicide? All because of something you refused to fes up to until years later? If you wait, think about this, and put some serious thought into it, it isn't as far fetch of a reaction as you think......Think about what type of therapy these girls are going to need to go through, NOT TO MENTION, Blood test and std screenings, ANXIETY ATTACKS, TRUST ISSUES and think about how long it is going to take them to actually GET OVER your actions and be able to be in a normal and happy relationship. Get out of there life, for THERE own sake, NOT YOURS...This isn't about you anymore, its about them and what is going to happen to them... Every action has a reaction, remember that next time to think to lead 2 human beings on for as long as you did. I think you need councelling and you need to change the type of friends you are hanging out with. Start going to school and pursuing a career OUTSIDE of just lifting weights... Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Wow another one of these threads. Let's say you end with one and get into a long term relationship and even marry the other one. Since the relationship is built on lies and you know them what kind of life will you have constantly worrying she will find out or that the other girl will show up one day. Best case is for you to end it with both of them, Take some time to figure out why you think it is okay to be so selfish and self centered and perhaps one day you will get a second chance with one of them and start with a clean slate. Anything else is doomed Lost Link to comment
thatguyrandom Posted January 17, 2012 Author Share Posted January 17, 2012 U guys can sugar coat ur opinions a little bit sheesh =/ Im already in the process of telling them. I already scheduled a time to tell them one of them friday and the other one friday night. I really do want to make things right i can't stand going on living like this. the guilt alone is enough to make me go insane. Im just extremely scared as to how their going to react and how this is all going to pan out. I have a lot of mutal friends and close friends that Im going to lose and Im willing to lose all of them if it makes me get out of this funk. Link to comment
thatguyrandom Posted January 17, 2012 Author Share Posted January 17, 2012 Wow another one of these threads. Let's say you end with one and get into a long term relationship and even marry the other one. Since the relationship is built on lies and you know them what kind of life will you have constantly worrying she will find out or that the other girl will show up one day. Best case is for you to end it with both of them, Take some time to figure out why you think it is okay to be so selfish and self centered and perhaps one day you will get a second chance with one of them and start with a clean slate. Anything else is doomed Lost Im pretty sure after they find out their not going to want anything to do with me. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 U guys can sugar coat ur opinions a little bit sheesh =/ Im already in the process of telling them. I already scheduled a time to tell them one of them friday and the other one friday night. I really do want to make things right i can't stand going on living like this. the guilt alone is enough to make me go insane. Im just extremely scared as to how their going to react and how this is all going to pan out. I have a lot of mutal friends and close friends that Im going to lose and Im willing to lose all of them if it makes me get out of this funk. right ok ..your doing what you have to do and I don't think there is any way to help you deliver this to them in any way to make it easier for them or for you . all 3 of you are in for a rough time for different reasons. all you can do op is tell them the truth , and take whatever they throw at you ok ..don't lie and don't try and make any of it ok or put it on to them ... you sit down ..you tell the whole story . I know you want them and your facing your own stuff , but your doing the right thing you are living a lie and taking away two women's choices ...because they are going out with a lie ..and dedicating themselves to a lie. and for you ..your mind will have some peace ... who knows what will happen after ..you have to ride it like the rest of us on here . Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 U guys can sugar coat ur opinions a little bit sheesh =/ Im already in the process of telling them. I already scheduled a time to tell them one of them friday and the other one friday night. I really do want to make things right i can't stand going on living like this. the guilt alone is enough to make me go insane. Im just extremely scared as to how their going to react and how this is all going to pan out. I have a lot of mutal friends and close friends that Im going to lose and Im willing to lose all of them if it makes me get out of this funk. I wish you the best of luck. I hope you get some clarity of mind and soul with this. Just wondering - is there one you would like to stay with more than the other? Link to comment
thatguyrandom Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 I wish you the best of luck. I hope you get some clarity of mind and soul with this. Just wondering - is there one you would like to stay with more than the other? If their was one I would prefer to stay with over the other I would have decided along time ago. They both have their good qualities and their bad ones. One makes more money and has a career and the other works a part time job but none of that matters to me since I plan on being the provider in any relationship im in anyway Since I make good money. I will be posting on here how things went and turned out after i get this done so you guys know your time was not in vain. I just needed other peoples opinions on this and people talking to me about it so i can get through this and go through with it Im set on getting this off my chest and relieveing the stress. I want to say I hope it doesent go that bad but thats asking a little much. I personally don't think Im a bad person and Im really understanding and all of you here just helped me realize how selfish and wrong I was. Im glad I came to this site. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 "The truth shall set you free." Good luck, keep us posted. Link to comment
thatguyrandom Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 "The truth shall set you free." Good luck, keep us posted. Ok One more thing. Since I rather keep all names disclosed. Girl 1~ Wants me to come stay with her tonight. Shes been sexual over txts and well she wants to well ya u know. Should I? Or make an excuse and say no? Remember Im a guy its hard for me to say no to that >.> Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 you could tell her tonight. but not - you know. Link to comment
thatguyrandom Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 Ohh No i cant tell her tonight i already had it planned for friday =/ I dont htink I can gather the courage to do so tonight Link to comment
progMenry93 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Yeah dude, I tried that in middle school because I could. My thought was, " * * * * it. My girlfriend is a pathological liar. I'm looking for someone else." I ended up dating another girl without officially ending my relationship with my original girlfriend. It was pretty immature for me to do. I think the best thing to do is tell them separately and let it liquidate. Take your loss like a big boy and move on. If somehow, one of those girls manages to forgive and forget, you are one lucky boy, but don't expect that. Link to comment
thatguyrandom Posted January 19, 2012 Author Share Posted January 19, 2012 Ok, So I ended up getting into it with one of them.....And I figured things are already bad might as well tell her now. I ended up telling her the whole thing Detail to detail. She then told me to leave and never speak to her again and that I should become a lawyer since I am a very good liar. >.> Later that night I ended up thinkin alone to myself well one of them is out of the way might as well tell the other. The other one on the other hand said she knew........She said not only did she know but she knew almost the whole time I am extreme shocked at this moment as to why she didnt care and continued to sleep wit me and see me....etc.....i then found out some news I never in a million years would have thought was imaginable she told me she too has been seein another guy for a few months and I kinda freaked out about it but took it for what it was since I kind of brought this upon myself. I told her she shouldnt if been cheating on him with me but she rubbed it in my face how he knew and she was just waiting........Now I feel broken inside not just because i found out a person who told me she loved me everyday was seeing another man but becuase now I feel empty.I dont want anyone to remotely feel sorry for me for he doing this since i brought all this on myself. I am currently an emotional wreck and I am thinking about see a therapist. So neither one of them want to have anything to do with me which was a little unexpected not even be friends. One even said shes enrolling in a diffrent gym. Nothing I can do now but except it and ty and be a better person. I thank all of you who helped me figure this out. And to Annie, Your right I was very lucky throughout this whole thing since one knew for a while and didn't tell the other women. And if you would have an anwser as to why she let me go on so long doing this without her saying anything or caring that would be great to know. I currently have no idea what imma do now my mom said its best if i just dont involve myself with women for a while. She also said if I get caught up like that again she wont pay for my schooling. >.> Once again ty all you were all helpful somewhat mean but helpful. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 wow!!!! crazy. I would have reacted like girl #1. told you to F off and never talk to me again. #2 - why she knew and didn't do anything? i don't know. maybe she was never really serious about you, and it was all just for fun. No idea. i'd say that she didn't really 'love' you though. probably just like to hang out, have sex, etc.... good luck. i hope the therapy works out well. i agree with not dating for a while. probably good to take a breather. Link to comment
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