Life as a Mommy

[lostnscared]

Yep. My grandma had 8 kids, 2 sets of twins. So she went through six pregnancies. It skips in my family so my dad didn't have twins but I and my brother will.

 

My mind very well could change because you never know until you get there but I'm optimistic, ha. It's still 2 1/2 years away though.

 

Yeah I think being optimistic is in your favor! LOL. I don't think pregnancy is bad for everyone. My midwife did tell me that the reason my first trimester may have been so bad, is because I was carrying twins, which tends to be an increase in symptoms. Who know's? I don't know if I'll be going through another pregnancy again though. My boyfriend has already considered the possibility that we might be getting a surrogate if he wants a boy lol.

[lostnscared]

Good to know. There are so many c-section stories where people say it is horrible, but I'm glad to hear that recovery was good for you.

 

One thing that my mom said may help, is that I generally don't go to bed until around 5 in the morning. And I wake up around 12 in the afternoon. She said that when we were babies we slept during the day, and were up at night, so I'm hoping that these babies are that way. And since I don't go to bed at night, maybe it won't be as exhausting lol.

[sherryberrypie]

Wow...speaking of bad names:

 

Daan

Tyberious. Not just Tiberious... TYberious

 

*headdesk*

[Seraphim]

Keeping a journal is a great idea!! Keep it for all the time your son is young. My son is at an age now where he is curious about his birth story and what he was like as a baby and what he did and said and all kinds of things. I have to do it from memory. Keep it as a keep sake for your son.

 

Oh and thanks for the normal name........lol....I do not know what the fad is with names so totally misspelled it is unreal and you can not even pronounce the names because you can not even read them. Your kid will thank you for the normal name........lol. ( my mom gave me a normal name, but the longest and hardest to spell version. No one gets it right, so I had to shorten it and they still don't get it right...lol.)

[Batya33]

I was irregular until age 24 when I went on the pill (which was then of course fake regular). I was on the pill on and off until age 38 (when I was off the pill I wasn't regular). Never got pregnant but never really tried. All of a sudden at age 39-40 I became regular. I started trying to conceive at 40.5 and it probably took around 6 months or so (we were long distance at that point -I got pregnant 14 months after we started trying ). I never used an ovulation monitor but sort of knew when I was so we went with that. When I got pregnant we were starting to discuss other kinds of tests/interventions. Never happened- not even a checkup. It was my first and only pregnancy.

[tinkerbellkj]

Keeping a journal is a great idea!! Keep it for all the time your son is young. My son is at an age now where he is curious about his birth story and what he was like as a baby and what he did and said and all kinds of things. I have to do it from memory. Keep it as a keep sake for your son.

 

 

I really don't want to miss anything, because I know it goes by so quickly, and there are moments between the 4th stinky diaper in the last hour, and the screaming and 3:00am feedings, that I wish it would go faster, but I know that I'll never get this time back. I don't want to forget singing "House at Pooh Corner" to him and hoping that someday in the future that's I dance with him at his wedding to that tune. Or the way I feel when he's sleeping in my arms, mixture of myself and my husband, the pure raw joy.

 

Anyway. No pregnancy seems to go on without a hitch, and mine was no exception. Everything was great, DH and I paid for an early ultrasound at 17 weeks, because I literally could not wait to find out the gender, though I knew all along he was a boy. At 20 weeks we went for our anatomy scan and were excited to see the little man again, if I had only known then how many ultrasounds I'd end up with, it would seem like less of a 'treat' and more of a scare. I had a small fear that something wasn't right because she was taking a million pictures of his kidneys and saying she needed more measurements. But, then again, what did I know.

 

We saw my OB immediately after and she didn't report anything, but said that the radiologist would need to read it. We went home and I prepared to fly back to Boston, where I grew up, and my parents still lived for an early baby shower since I could not fly in my 3rd trimester. It was so wonderful, I loved seeing everyone from my childhood and people were so generous, DH was shocked when I got home. So the next few weeks went off without a hitch, and I returned for my 24 week appointment, extremely happy that my baby was viable and Christmas was around the corner. My doctor then told me that the tech had seen a problem on my ultrasound.

 

She said that the baby had "bright kidneys" and that they were enlarged and I would need to see the specialist. She told me not to worry, but that she would fax the referral over immediately and I'd get a call with an appointment time. So I waited for the call that came the next day and I prepared to see this specialist. In the meantime, I googled this "bright kidneys" and let me say there was NOTHING positive to say, and basically everything said that bright kidneys= cysts = potentially fatal. It was scary, and my husband almost threw my computer out the window because he said I was giving myself a nervous breakdown.

 

We went to the specialist a few weeks later, and I felt completely sick about it. I remember my husband came from work to meet me and he was eating cheetos and kept asking if I wanted any, and I was giving him dagger eyes, because for some reason that was so annoying to me, haha. The specialist was awesome as was the tech. They said that the right kidney was not enlarged, the left was, though only slightly. The specialist said we would monitor after birth that I should not worry. He asked me to come back in 6 weeks for another ultrasound, and all in all I left feeling pretty good.

 

Pregnancy went on, I got fatter, my ankles got wider, all the fun stuff that turns you into a mommy. Around 30 weeks I was told I had gestational diabetes and that while I would not require any medication, I needed to go back to the specialist. So off to the specialist I went, this time, much less nervous. I had another ultrasound to check his growth (which put him into the 95th percentile, my big baby!) and the tech joked with me about how big he was. The specialist came in, who was not the original one I saw, and I immediately got a bad vibe from him. He never looked at me once and just proceeded to ask me question while writing an email to my OB.

 

He looked at his size and then checked his kidneys. He gave me the same report that the first doctor gave me, that I should not worry, but to come back in 2 weeks for my scheduled appointment and I went on my way. And when the date came I told my husband not to bother coming, I was used to going to doctors appointments alone, and it wasn't anything he needed to miss work for. I wish I knew then what I do now.

 

Again, I was given the cold, rude specialist, and my tech was not much better. At first all he wanted to talk about was my blood sugars and the size of my baby and my possible need for a c-section. I answered all his questions and then he began to look at his kidneys. He went on to say that they were functioning now as my fluid was normal. Great. Then he stated that "it looked very strange, and he was not sure they would continue to function". What!?!? He went on to talk about kidney failure, but there was nothing we could do, so he just needed to be monitored after birth. I almost hit the floor at this point. I started asking what I needed to do, and he started for the door.

 

He said I'd just need a regular ped, not a specialist. He said he "probably would not require surgery." What!?!? You're telling me my child, my heart, my flesh, had possible KIDNEY FAILURE, and he didn't need surgery OR a specialist!?!? I asked him what had changed, what HUGE thing had changed, between today and 2 weeks ago, when he HIMSELF told me not to worry? He said "Nothing has changed" and left.

 

I was hysterical and called my husband who was ready to go down there and raise hell. I asked him not to, it was just going to make me more upset. He said we needed to see my OB and see the results. It didn't matter at that point, all my logical was gone, and replaced with what this man, this so-called specialist had told me. So when we saw my OB and were told that NOTHING he had said to me was in my record, and all the paperwork discussed was the size of the baby. She told me I did not need to return to him and that she had gotten many complaints on him in the past. I spent the rest of my pregnancy worrying, wondering if he'd have to have dialysis or a transplant or what the problem would be. Now, while I am a little bit of a worrier, I am a mom so that makes it 10x worse. I seriously think I have PTSD over this, and I still have nightmares over it.

 

So when he was born crying and peeing, I relaxed a little bit, but I was still worried because the man had said "they were functioning now" but that he was concerned about their continued functioning. We took him to his pediatrician a few days after he was born and were given a script for an ultrasound, which we had done on Monday. I was completely sick about it, Mark did way better than Mommy did, and didn't even cry once! My husband (who is a 'get it done' type) called his doctor immediately after we left the hospital and asked for an appointment 48 hours out, as the tech said that's when the results would be available to discuss, we were told to come in at 4:30 on Wednesday.

 

Of course when we arrived the results were still not there and they had to scramble around to find them. Finally the doctor came in and told us that they had the results. We were told that his right kidney is completely normal, and there is no "brightness" (the scariest part) in either kidney. She said that he has mild pelviectasis in his left kidney, which basically means it is dilated. This is a very common (1 in 100 births) finding in males, and often goes away in the first year of life. She recommended we see the kidney specialist for piece of mine, but to wait a few months because it may resolve on its own before we even get there. It is NOT a sign on kidney failure or any of those awful things that specialist said. The worst that could happen is a small surgery, but only in severe cases, which his is not.

 

I immediately felt relief walking out of that office and she gave us a copy of the report to keep, which is something that no other doctor has offered to do, and I plan to request ALL of my records from the specialist office next week to see what exactly was written in my file. It was a very scary experience and I'm glad we are getting some answers.

[OptomisticGirl]

Wow, I can't believe there are some heartless people in the pregnancy industry. I'm the type of person I would have waddled myself off the exam room and followed the specialist and poked him until he answered my questions, lol. God I"m going to be a horrible pregnant woman... poor L.

 

Tink, if you don't mind me asking, were you at normal weight before the baby came? One of the reasons I'm kicking myself into gear now - 2 1/2 years out - of trying to concieve is I'm medically over weight - although people don't believe me when I tell them what I weigh - and I know being over weight can cause gestational dibetes (or is one of the factors) and that's a HUGE scare for me.

[Seraphim]

I also agree with you Tink, that there is no love greater than that moment you see your baby for the first time. It is so HUGE you are totally overwhelmed by the vastness of it, the enormity, and you struggle to comprehend it. I tried to explain it to people but you really do have to experience it to understand. Just know it gets greater every day.

 

I am sorry you had to deal with horrible drs, they are out there unfortunately. I am glad your son is doing great though!! My son was born screaming to high heaven too. He was stuck for over 3 hours having his head squished so when he was born he looked like the aliens from the Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull movie.LOL...the nurse said, THAT baby will have one heck of a headache! It took a few weeks for his poor head to go back to normal.

[tinkerbellkj]

OG- I was about 10-15 pounds overweight when I got pregnant. I lost about 17 pounds my first trimester, but I did gain it all back. I think I ended up 37 pounds in my pregnancy, and I lost 27 immediately afterwards, so I still have some work to do! I was asking about the GD and what caused it and basically they have a lot of things that 'correlate' to it, heredity is a huge one, and being overweight.

 

But, my doctor was saying that she'll get a severely obese person come in and never get it, and then you'll get this tiny little girl who needs insulin it's so bad. I will say that I ate a TON of sugar and drank a TON of juice when I was first pregnant, honestly, it was all I ever kept down. There is saying (I think it may be a wives tale) that if you crave sugar you'll have GD. But, one interesting thing that the nutritionist told me was that you shouldn't drink juice period when you are pregnant (regardless of GD) because of all the sugar, and I drank it by the gallons. So for my next kid I'll be more careful.

 

GD isn't horrible, I didn't like taking my sugars 4x a day, but my doctor moved me to 3x a week because I was doing so well and I didn't find it too hard to modify my diet and keep it controlled (though I did miss things!) I actually never had one blood sugar spike at all. And the best was that my baby suffered no ill effects of it. However, I will do whatever I can to NOT have it again, though, I'm now more likely to have it again.

 

Victoria- 3 hours, WOW! I think if I had gone naturally I would have been in the same position, if he ever fit. His head was 14.5 inches and my husband was a c-section because HIS head didn't fit through the birthing canal! I know my niece (on his side) had such a cone head after birth that when she went for her 2 week check up, she had actually shrunk 2 inches in length! Hahah, poor kids! Birth is such a trauma! If you do natural you're squished through a little whole, if you have a c-section you're just laying there and some doctor just rips out from your comfortable little spot, thank God we don't remember any of it!

[OptomisticGirl]

My best friend had it and she was average weight when she got pregnant with my niece - about 140 I suppose - and she was diagnosed with it in her 7th month and she gained weight perfect. You see those women who just look like they swallowed a baby? That was her. I know a host of reasons can cause and it isn't just set to one but I'm already worried about ME getting diabetes even when not pregnant, and I drink at on of soda. Although I would have htought juice was good for you when pregnant...

[tinkerbellkj]

Diabetes IS scary. My MIL has it and she does not do what she is supposed to (she is getting better at it though). In fact when I got GD, she tried to give her monitor to me, my husband flipped because he's like, "YOU need to check your sugars!" And I think because she saw me checking my sugars like a crazy person she decided she should check hers more too, and she's doing better. It's hard when you are going out to dinner or when you are on the go because EVERYTHING has carbs in it. I'm glad its over, but I'm still more conscious about it now and I think about what I'm eating a little more.

 

I used to be addicted to regular soda, too. When I was in college I weaned myself to diet soda (some would argue not much better!) but it took A LOT of work. I started drinking diet cherry coke (I think) and then moved on to regular diet coke. Now I cannot touch regular soda. My husband only drank regular coke when we met, but when we lived together I did all the grocery shopping and only bought diet and now he can't touch regular, either. I try not to drink too much of it period, but I do love diet coke. I drink a lot of water.

[Seraphim]

Yeah my son's head barely fit, his last ultra sound at about 32 weeks the tech said " OMG!! THAT is going to hurt!! I said what???!! She said " OMG look at his head!! It is more than a month ahead of the rest of his body. That is one whopping giant head. " Man was she right!! He looked SO disproporionate as a baby. He even had troubles keeping his head up and learning to keep it up. He still has a huge head for his size. No matter how I tried that head was NOT coming out on it's own and they had to do a full episiotomy to get it out. I never had GD and my father's family is full of diabetes in fact my dad has it.

[OptomisticGirl]

I need to start wheening myself off as well, that's were 90% of my sugar comes from.

[tinkerbellkj]

Yesterday was... Wow... I really questioned my mothering abilities! Mark decided he was not taking any naps, and he was very cranky because of that. He was also gassy, and over stimulated. My DH went to an arena football game pretty much directly from work and my mother in law, who was watching my 2 year old niece asked if she could come over and see the baby and then take me to dinner when my other SIL got out of work. I said that was fine, because I know she really wanted to see the baby.

 

So my husband left and they came over, and by that time I was REALLY running on E, dealing with a very fussy baby and very little sleep (he was up every 2 hours) and of course they wanted to play with him, which caused him to be even more cranky. I finally put him in his crib to just get him away from stimulation, and they follow him in there when I was washing his bottles. Of course he starts to cry again. I was at such a loss for what was upsetting him that I actually took his temperature because I was scared he was sick, but it was fine and he was just a little fussypants. Finally he settles and we go to dinner, and he is very well behaved, so decide to book to Target after wards with 30 minutes before they closed since he was asleep and not due to eat for a while.

 

Bad choice.

 

The moment I stepped inside he started to scream, so I pick him up and I'm pushing the store carriage with his carseat in it and holding a screaming child. I quickly grab what I need (all baby related!) and run to the register. Everyone is looking at me like I am the worst mother alive because I can't get my child to calm down. The second we get out of the store he of course settles, and now I can't find my damn keys. So I'm in a panic digging through my diaper bag and holding him. I really thought I was going to cry. Finally get him in the car, and then he proceeds to SCREAM, and I mean SCREAM the entire way home, to the point I pulled over (less than a 10 minute drive) to see if I could soothe him, which I couldn't.

 

I get him home and quickly get a bottle ready and he is so upset (which leads to me to believe he was VERY gassy) he kept pushing the bottle out of his mouth, but then he'd cry because he was hungry. I gave him Mylicon in the middle of the feeding and it seemed to help a little. Finally around midnight he settled in his swing and started to fall asleep. My husband comes home and I was just SO fed up and exhausted and covered in spit up, I laid into him. It wasn't his fault the baby was fussy, and I HAD told him to go to the game (he hasn't gone out at all since the baby was born and has no plans to in the near future) but I was just so upset I didn't care. We NEVER fight, and I really mean never, but last night I was just a mess. I finally settled myself down and we went to bed. Of course little stinker was so tired from being up literally all day he slept until 6!

 

Today he has been MUCH happier, and sleeping a lot more! I have been giving him Myilcon or gripe water with every other bottle which seems to be helping with his gas. He also had a bath tonight, and he is too funny because he seems to love the warm water, but of course he's still so tiny I put him the sling that attaches to the tub so he can't get all the way into the water and he tries to wiggle in little by little. It is too cute!

 

Anyway, happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful moms out there!!!! Last night reminded me of what hard work it is!

[sherryberrypie]

Those SCREAMS usually mean super-gassy. Over time you'll learn what his different sounds mean and it will get easier. You sound like a very good mom and NO ONE thought you couldn't calm your child down. Anyone with kids, or who knows anything about kids, knows that they have minds of their own

 

Happy First Mother's Day!

 

May you be gifted with a good nights' sleep and a hot soak in the tub

[OptomisticGirl]

I think you handled it well Tink. As Sherry said, anyone inside that store who is a parent knows what's it like and were probably thinking 'aw, those days...', lol

 

At least you haven't locked the baby in the car yet. I got a hold of my mom's keys when I was about 13 months I think she said and I locked myself in. As she's trying to get me to hit the button she said I Just sat there in my car seat - thankfully in a bank parking lot under a tree - smiling and wagging the car keys at her.

[Batya33]

I never really was able to interpret all the cries/screams (my baby was formula fed, on a schedule which seemed to work fine for him) - sometimes I was, and now that he is two at least I know what might have triggered it.

 

I've had days like you described with my husband away (because I told him to be) and well-intentioned, loving people making the situation so much worse.

 

What I did as far as the "well-behaved" is I made sure my mindset had nothing to do with "well-behaved" or otherwise -what kept me sane was remembering that there is no such thing as good or bad behavior at this stage and it wasn't his fault. I did want him to be comfortable and calm and figure out what to do, of course, but his crying or not crying had nothing to do with his choice or his behavior or intentions. I'm not sure if that was just a casual word choice on your part- if it was I apologize if I misunderstood but getting through these stages I found required a fair amount of "self-talk" so that I didn't focus my frustration or exhaustion in the wrong direction. Even labeling something as "well behaved" might have thrown me off so I just share that with you for what it's worth.

 

I also can totally relate to the venting at your husband -my mother used to remind me again (and again) that he is on my side and we are a team -that helped a little -anything that helped me catch my breath for a second or two before speaking seemed to help.

 

Hang in there and I am glad the Mylicon helped!!

[metrogirl]

Happy 1st Mother's Day Tink.

[tinkerbellkj]

Thank you, Metro! Happy Mother's Day to you as well!

 

Batya- 'Well behaved' is probably not the best phrase, I guess I meant more not crying. I know he has no control over his behavior, and it makes me sad that sometimes I truly do not know why he is crying. I can tell some cries aren't really 'cries' more like little yells where he likes to hear his own voice. But sometimes when he is wailing, I'm not always so sure (I go through the basics, hungry, wet, tired, gassy, too hot, too cold) but sometimes I just don't know and I wonder sometimes if he even knows!

[OptomisticGirl]

My nephew does that even at 10 months still and as one of the main people that baby sit him, it's very hard to tell. The one cry I do know well is the 'there is nothing wrong with me, I just want you in the room with me all the time' and the 'I"m fighting sleep' one. The other ones are a hit and a miss sometimes, lol

[tinkerbellkj]

Well, I certainly enjoyed my very first mother's day! My boys took me to brunch at a hotel with his side of the family. The food was great, and little man really enjoyed looking around at all the lights, and being held by everyone. We were experimenting with a different bottle (he normally uses Dr. Browns but they are not easy to travel with so I tried Playtex Ventaire for travel) and he didn't seem to like that very much. Dr. Brown's forces him to eat much slower, so this new bottle ended up with formula all over his face. Luckily, mommy packs everything but the kitchen sink, and had a Dr. Brown's in my bag so we poured the other bottle into and all was better! I'm going to try the Dr. Brown's nipple in the Playtex bottle to see if that helps.

 

Speaking of packing, my DH got my a beautiful new diaper bag for Mother's Day, I love it! I had an awesome one before, but it was not big enough. I never realized how much stuff he was in need of, and feel like I should have a small suitcase sometimes! After brunch we stopped off at the mall and got him a bathing suit, it is just too cute. Now we're at home relaxing and my husband is going to cook dinner. It's been a good day! Again, Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there!!

 

Swim suit:

[OptomisticGirl]

Awww, he's adorable!

[sherryberrypie]

That is a darling swimsuit and an adorable little baby!

 

This mom was in my store today with a girl infant...cute as a gerber baby, just calm and chillin' in mom's arms...the epitome of beautiful baby. My co-worker said, "where can I order me one of those??" LOL

[Batya33]

Thank you, Metro! Happy Mother's Day to you as well!

 

Batya- 'Well behaved' is probably not the best phrase, I guess I meant more not crying. I know he has no control over his behavior, and it makes me sad that sometimes I truly do not know why he is crying. I can tell some cries aren't really 'cries' more like little yells where he likes to hear his own voice. But sometimes when he is wailing, I'm not always so sure (I go through the basics, hungry, wet, tired, gassy, too hot, too cold) but sometimes I just don't know and I wonder sometimes if he even knows!

 

All of what you say is so true! I was just sharing that sometimes how we label things can actually affect our perception of the behavior. I know you didn't mean it that way. He is adorable!

[tinkerbellkj]

My poor boy has been so gassy the last few days that he has been so cranky and barely sleeping. I have been putting gripe water in his bottles, and today he seems to be back to his 'old self'. He napped a lot today and his overall demeanor is much more comfortable and happy. It makes me so happy because it's so hard seeing him uncomfortable.

 

I took him shopping with my MIL and SIL and he slept in his carriage most of the day waking up only to look around a little bit. He does seem to love being in his stroller, and I take him for walks at night when it's not super hot out. His carseat weighs a ton, so I ordered a sling that should be here on Monday, I'm really excited to try it out. I hope he likes it, because I heard that most babies do.

 

We are flying to Boston at the beginning of next month for his baptism, and I'm kind of nervous to fly with him. It's a 3.5 hour flight, so not too bad. Does anyone have any tips?? I'm hoping he'll sleep, but he's a wiggle worm and just loves to be free and kick around.

 

Tomorrow night my husband and I are going to see "Bridesmaids" (first time out since he's been born) and my in laws are going to come over and watch Mark. I'm really nervous, because essentially he's been "with me" for almost a year 24/7 if you count pregnancy, so it kind of freaks me out to leave him, even if it is only for a 2 hour movie. He will probably just sleep and not notice my absence, but I certainly will!

 

Here is a picture of his new hat that I got him for $1.39 at Gymboree (originally $10.00) because I am constantly clipping and saving coupons!