OptomisticGirl Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 It will work out, I would def just except everyone's help who is willing to give it and don't over exert yourself. Know your limits and know when you need to ask for help with like carrying or picking Mark up when your further along. Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted August 27, 2011 Author Share Posted August 27, 2011 Yeah, I plan to, believe me haha! I have my MIL and now I have a babysitter I trust, so I'll probably alternate between them and work out of the house 2-3 times a week then home the other two days. I am lucky to have my job because when I go out to work I'm never gone more than on average 5 hours, and it's NEVER every day. But, I will say that I DO enjoy it. I really enjoy leaving the house, getting dressed in 'normal' clothing, and working with people. Basically I work with low income families whose children have mental health issues and I go to their homes and try to engage them in treatment. I work in horrible, horrible neighborhoods with some wonderful (and sometimes not so wonderful) people. I consider it my 'break' from motherhood! I ALWAYS thought I wanted to stay at home, but I really am happy I work. I don't make much at all, but I have benefits and can work from home, so I can't complain. Honestly, if I didn't have this job, I'd probably waitress (and probably make more money!) but I like working with the clients. I mean, I might change my mind when the kids are bigger and I can spend more time taking them places, and depending on finances I might be able to be a SAHM for a while then, but right now I am so grateful for my job and I'm sure with 2 I'll be even more grateful! Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I use to be all about the STAHM as well, but the more I think about it, the more after they are 6 months I wouldn't mind going back, even if it is only for part time. Even if I was never a full stay at home mom and only worked part during like when the kids were older and while they were in school, I would be okay with that. But the first six months - if we can swing it - I would like to take the full maternity leave offered. Which is one of the reason we are waiting a year after I get a job to try so we can have a little next egg built up so I can stay at for the whole time. Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted August 27, 2011 Author Share Posted August 27, 2011 Well, I post on a pregnancy forum where almost all UK women post, and they have a WONDERFUL maternity leave. And they are MUCH more sensitive to working mothers too it seems, I mean part time would probably be easily obtained. I can't remember how it goes, it's 3 months complete pay, and then 3 more months half pay, then 3 more 25% pay, then 3 months no pay? I could be completely wrong but I believe it goes something like that. I do know that childcare is extremely expensive over there too, but I mean if you had like a babysitter vs a daycare (which is what I do) I'm sure can save money that way too. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 Wiki says 39 weeks, 6 weeks of that at 90% of your pay and the rest is a flate rate (about 100 pounds) but it can be higher if your salary falls below that. But yes, they do have a much better maternity leave than we do - what is ours? 6 weeks?. Were L works they have a daycare - and I'm sure it still costs a good bit - but with him working there I think it's a bit of a discounted price. That and they would never be far from their dad at least. Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted August 27, 2011 Author Share Posted August 27, 2011 Wiki says 39 weeks, 6 weeks of that at 90% of your pay and the rest is a flate rate (about 100 pounds) but it can be higher if your salary falls below that. But yes, they do have a much better maternity leave than we do - what is ours? 6 weeks?. Were L works they have a daycare - and I'm sure it still costs a good bit - but with him working there I think it's a bit of a discounted price. That and they would never be far from their dad at least. Oh yeah, I have seen that on the forum, the in-house daycare and they seem to be MUCH more reasonable from what I have heard. Here, we can take 12 week unpaid under FMLA (provided you qualify) and then IF you pay into short term disability you can get 6 weeks of partial (and when I say partial I mean very little!) pay through that. Then of course you can use any PTO you have. I took like 11 weeks with Mark and got 6 weeks "paid" though it was a tiny amount! This time I am saving all the PTO I can! Also, my job is cool, so I NEVER missed a doctors appointment or anything and never had to take off for it, some places make you cut into your FMLA to go to the doctors, so by the time the baby is born, you might have very little, which is horrible IMO. I believe in the UK you can just go to all your prenatal care and never worry about not being paid. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 And I know I would feel more comfortable with them being literally a walk away from their dad. Gah, see, we just dont have the same respect for mothers. I'm sure you can use PTO time there as well for your maternity leave. And L gets 2 weeks of paternity leave, and since he always has PTO and flexi time he could probably take more off if he wanted to. L's job def has some awesome benefits. When I get my British citzenship I may try to apply for the customer service area of were he works. It's a completely different department but I would be near the kids, get benefits, etc. And a ENA member told me that in the UK, after you give birth, they come out for a like a week to check up on you and the baby. How awesome is that?! Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted August 27, 2011 Author Share Posted August 27, 2011 Yes, you get a home visitor for a few months I think. And I know you can use your vacation time as well! Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted August 29, 2011 Author Share Posted August 29, 2011 Today I went to like the 12th baby shower (no lie) in the last 6 months. I have like 2 more and I should be done for a while. I always give practical gifts such as diapers, because really you need them more than most other things. Mark stayed home with his daddy all day today. My husband wasn't feeling great because we went out to a birthday party at this crazy restaurant/bar (it might have been fun to me had I not been pregnant!) and stayed until 1 am. It was the first time we had been out in a long time, and it was for a good friend so it definitely needed. My DH had too much to drink and had to care for little man with a hangover, I felt no sympathy and he didn't DARE complain because I warned him over and over. He RARELY gets drunk and I don't mind, but you gotta keep up with your responsibilities, and he did so I didn't give him a hard time. Mark was also particularly hyperactive and wanting to play non-stop--- it just sweetened the pot, haha oh I'm such a bad wife! But, he never let it show! He played with Mark but the SECOND the little man was sleeping DH was laying on the couch. Too funny! My parents got hit with the hurricane a tree hit and knocked off ALL of the electricity, cable, Internet, etc. Like literally it knocked the pole off attached to the house, but didn't damage anything else (thank God!). Luckily they have a generator but there's a tree blocking the road so who knows when they can get out and when the power will be fixed. I feel bad for them, my mom is dying without cable/Internet! The said could be a WEEK without power! The cellphone service is also not so good. Tomorrow I'm dropping off the little man at the sitters house so I can go to the OB. I am really hoping to get an ultrasound like I did with Mark, because it does feel a little more reassuring. I'm nervous, though. I haven't been until tonight, but I'm finally thinking about it and getting used to being pregnant again. I just hope everything is okay, and I know if I don't get an ultrasound I'll be on edge. Most of my friends also had ultrasounds at their first appointment, so I'm hoping it's the same for me again. Also my stroller is supposed to come tomorrow, so hopefully it'll be easier to tote him around in a lighter stroller and we can go more places alone. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 lol, that is an adorable story of your husband. I can imagine that being L one day. L RARELY drinks as well but every now and then he indulges - although it's stronger over there and I swear what barely gets him buzzed what get a grown man falling down drunk here! I'm glad to hear your parents are okay though! We got nothing from the hurriance, not even rain. Poo. We REALLY needed the rain.... I'm sure everything will be fine Tink! I think until it's confirmed by the doctor every woman in the world has that feeling though. Link to comment
hers Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Glad they didn't get much damage. I've been through a bunch of hurricanes and it's always best to shave about 3 days off the power estimated time of arrival. She'll be back up and running soon! Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted August 29, 2011 Author Share Posted August 29, 2011 I DO laugh because I mean how did FLORIDA not get slammed and up North (where my parents were told they'd get NOTHING!) ends up with damage. I have never really experienced a hurricane (small ones) so I was hoping to see SOMETHING! Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I DO laugh because I mean how did FLORIDA not get slammed and up North (where my parents were told they'd get NOTHING!) ends up with damage. I have never really experienced a hurricane (small ones) so I was hoping to see SOMETHING! I was shocked Florida didn't get hit as well. Really shocked. And then NY just had a major thunderstorm, no hurricane. Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted August 29, 2011 Author Share Posted August 29, 2011 I know! And they were banking on NY getting it big. My parents though, it was supposed to sail over them, which apparently it did, but it left a complete of marks. It sucks because they will be off work tomorrow, but they're blocked in the street with no power--- I'd rather be at work!! Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 You know NY had to lose a TON of money this weekend with shops being boarded up. I dread to think... Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted August 29, 2011 Author Share Posted August 29, 2011 Oh absolutely. And NJ they shut down their shore basically one of the last weekends of summer, that could not have been cheap either. Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 Well, I didn't have the ultrasound, but I am scheduled for one on September 7th-- my birthday! So I'm hoping that means good luck. I'm debating on whether or not to take Mark to the sitters or just bring him with me to the appointment. He does pretty well in new environments and it's also his pediatricians office so they are used to kids, so I just might. But, other than back pain and being tired, I feel fine. I REALLY like my new OB! He is so nice and didn't give me a hard time at ALL about getting pregnant so soon, just told me that he and his brother are 13 months apart and that it was great. He also told me that Mark's ped. is also pregnant and her kids are going to be very close in age. He said that another c-section was probably in my best interest due to risk of uterine rupture, which is fine with me because I had a good c-section experience. I'm hoping this little one is a girl (I kinda think it is) and if so, I think I am done. It's kinda crazy to think that already so quickly my child bearing will be over! If it's another boy we MAY (in several years) consider another baby, but I'm not even sure. In an ideal world I'd love 2 boys and 1 girl, but I think 2 kids would be the best for us. Marks new stroller came and I took him out this morning for a walk and he loved it! He can see much more in the new stroller and it's so lightweight. We only walked for about 25 minutes though because it was so hot and sticky out. But, he really enjoyed it and hopefully we'll take another walk tomorrow, though we'll go earlier in the morning this time. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 One of my first memories is being at the ultrasound with my mom when she was pregnant with my sister (I was 3). Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 Really? Wow, that's really neat! Mark won't remember (obviously!) but I know my friends have brought their 3-5 year olds with them and it was a special time for them. My one friend has a 4 year old and now a baby 10 days younger than Mark, and she was really hush hush about her pregnancy because she wanted to wait until she was further around but her daughter was telling EVERYONE hahah! I mean at first she was like, "Oh don't listen to her, she thinks EVERYONE is pregnant" (she had been around a lot of pregnant people) but then she started telling everyone about how she was with her mommy when she saw pictures of the baby in her belly, she was busted! I still laugh about it. I think I will take him, I mean it's kinda silly to pay a sitter when he can just come with me. Once my MIL is back I'm sure she will help me out by watching him when I have an appointment. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Yep. It was also were I got my fear of elevators. After the ultrasound mom handed me off to my gran who got distracted and I was a wander kid. I wandered onto an elevator and got stuck there for about 30 mins. :s Link to comment
thejigsup Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 A lot of people out here bring sibs to the birthing. Not a bad idea, really. The whole family is there to welcome the new arrival! Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 Can't believe my guy will be 5 months on Sunday, the time sure flys! I think hes teething, he drools constantly, has a little bit of diarrhea, and is constantly chewing on things. He's getting really good about putting things in his mouth and nibbling on them, which is good because I am sure that makes him feel better. He's got a strong little bite on him, though, for someone with no teeth, he got his daddy good tonight! He was at the sitters most of the day today and he does really well with her, such a relief. She babysits another little girl about 18 months old (cute as a button!) and she always wants to help, she sees him and immediately rocks his carseat, wants to give him a bottle or his pacifier. It is just so cute. My niece does that too, she's 2 and she pinches his cheeks and says, "Oh you are so sweet!" in a high pitched voice. I watched her and I was putting Mark down and he was fussing a little bit and she goes, "He's crying, he not tired, go get him!" I told her he needed his sleep, and she looked at me so seriously and said, "But he NOT tired!" Oh God, do these kids make me laugh! Next week is my ultrasound, I'll be glad to go because I have NO symptoms other than being tired and back pains oh and occasional aching at my c-section scar, but it's nothing that screams, "I'm pregnant!" Honestly, I probably could have EASILY overlooked all the "symptoms" for just being a new mom. With Mark, my body was a MESS and I definitely felt it, but not this time. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I can see why you would be concerned about the symptoms but really all my pregnancies were different. Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 I can see why you would be concerned about the symptoms but really all my pregnancies were different. Yeah, I know. It's just different to me, and I think that fact I wasn't pregnant that long ago so my pregnancy is VERY fresh in my mind doesn't help. My SIL had a "missed miscarriage" recently, where the baby died at 6 weeks, but she didn't begin the process until she was almost 10 weeks. I'm glad I have a doctor who does early ultrasounds, because for me it's important. I know bad things can happen to anyone so I try not to stress because I know for 100% certainty if something were to happen, there is nothing I could do about it. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Yeah, I know. It's just different to me, and I think that fact I wasn't pregnant that long ago so my pregnancy is VERY fresh in my mind doesn't help. My SIL had a "missed miscarriage" recently, where the baby died at 6 weeks, but she didn't begin the process until she was almost 10 weeks. I'm glad I have a doctor who does early ultrasounds, because for me it's important. I know bad things can happen to anyone so I try not to stress because I know for 100% certainty if something were to happen, there is nothing I could do about it. Aww, I am sorry for your SIL. I know the feeling all too well. My body always recognized the baby died and began the process immediately. Link to comment
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