Life in the Driver's Seat

[Seraphim]

Lol @ your stepdad. I don't mean to laugh but that is just exactly how my family would be. "This tornado has nothing on me, I need to finish grilling these steaks."

 

How close is it to them?

Yeah that is my stepdad for sure! He is a little tiny man but he's a bulldog. He's about 5 foot five and 140 pounds. And he thinks he's tougher than a tornado.

 

There have been about five tornado sightings in the province so far today. It is supposed to directly hit their area.

[Seraphim]

Phew! Warning is over.

[Seraphim]

We are watching a show called, " How the Earth Works. It is about the 535 A.D. in the 1883 A.D. eruptions of Krakatoa. The eruption of 535 A. D. actually plunged the entire planet into the Dark Ages. They figure the 535 eruption actually blew the island to bits. And it blew so much sulfur dioxide into the atmosphere it caused volcanic winter accross the entire planet for 20 years.

 

The 1883 eruption caused the loudest sound in recorded human history. It also blew most of the island to pieces.

 

This volcano keeps rebuilding itself over and over throughout history and it is just as dangerous.

 

Now it is called Anak Krakatoa, or the child of Krakatoa. And it is showing to be as deadly as its predecessors.

 

We love shows like this!

[Seraphim]

I have an allergy to yet another shampoo. I am so itchy all over my whole entire body I could lose my mind.

[Seraphim]

I woke from last night's nightmare in an absolute flood of sheer panic. It was so bad I wanted to run screaming from the house. It felt like I was going to go insane that's how panic stricken I was. I would say on a scale of 1 to 10 it was probably 9 1/2. And my episodes of two years ago were probably 15 out of 10. I think I know what is precipitating this panic though the fact that tomorrow my husband starts 12 hour shifts days and nights. And nights of course I will be alone from 7 to 7. And the doofwang next-door makes me feel really unsafe to be alone. But again I have to apply logic to that ,is that logical? Well? No. It is probably a 99.9% probability he's not going to hurt me at all.

 

And on a good note his children have decided to shut their pie hole.

[Seraphim]

I am going to be just fine. I can look after myself I am my own protector.

[Seraphim]

If you have the chance on Netflix watch the documentary,The Vanishing Bees.

[Seraphim]

We cannot solve the problems that we have with the same mindset that caused them~~Albert Einstein

[Seraphim]

We stopped by the vet today to pick up cat food. When returning to our car we found an injured seagull that had been injured by the storms last night. It's wing was totally rotated upwards instead of downwards. It was panting from pain and heat. We went back into the vet and one of the technicians brought out the carrier and towel. My husband managed to get a hold of the seagull who didn't protest hardly at all. The vet said if she couldn't repair the wing she would have to put the gull down. Infinitely better than the torment it would've had to put up with until it's death otherwise.

[Seraphim]

Being the mother of a teenager is such a lonely experience. They need you less and less as time goes by. The more independent they become the less they interact with you. I miss the interaction a lot. * sniffle* Some things you don't really know until you experience them. And of course never having had a teenager before I didn't know this was coming. I mean of course I knew in a way ,but not in this way not in a parent way.

 

I can't help but feel I'm failing him in a way if he's not interacting. But logically I know he's just growing up.

[Seraphim]

Oh man moms of teenagers please tell me you feel the same. It is almost like I feel abandoned in someway because he's growing up. Weird and not true I know. But it's the weirdest feeling. It is like my life's work is coming to an end. Thankfully ,I have other things to do. I can concentrate on other people's children after mine is gone. Maybe it is that I miss who he was. And I don't know who he is going to become yet. It is that strange transition phase.

[Seraphim]

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[renaissancewoman101]

Teenagerhood is a always a time of difficult transition for both the parents AND the teenager. During my high school years, my mother and I butted heads a lot. I ended up moving away to go to college and she was upset about that. It didn't help that during my high school years, my mom and dad were going through a difficult time in their marriage (my dad was cheating on my mom). My mom told me about their marriage troubles because she wanted me to side with her against my dad.

[Seraphim]

Teenagerhood is a always a time of difficult transition for both the parents AND the teenager. During my high school years, my mother and I butted heads a lot. I ended up moving away to go to college and she was upset about that. It didn't help that during my high school years, my mom and dad were going through a difficult time in their marriage (my dad was cheating on my mom). My mom told me about their marriage troubles because she wanted me to side with her against my dad.

 

I am sad you experienced that Ren. Hugs. Those things definitely does make teenagerhood more difficult. I always strive to get along with R because I know my dad never got along with us. And of course I had my mother's example and she was very interested in us. R and I get along really well. Sometimes we butt heads but that's the nature of the beast and different people. But I would not say it is any too often. And I know I have made mistakes and I know I will make more mistakes but he himself doesn't think I have made any. He's very gracious and loving. I am so very blessed that he is a gracious and forgiving person. But it really does help that my husband and I are at the best point of our marriage and he is in the best form of his parenting. And I think you're right that makes a real difference. Children definitely need stability.

[Seraphim]

Tomorrow I have to work in the morning and then I have counseling in the afternoon so I can't pick up R from his last exam. He has to walk the 8 km home. That always leaves me a little jittery. I did tell him to call me or text me when he gets home though .

[Seraphim]

Tonight I am going to my ASD support group. I cannot believe I lived 16 years without one.

[Seraphim]

Today I made four bottles of laundry detergent. Picked up my son from his exam. Vacuumed the carpets and furniture. Washed and hung out five loads of laundry. My son and I went for 3 km walk. Then we came home and made supper together. I made homemade meatloaf and he peeled and cut all the vegetables. I have my meeting from six until eight and hubby should be home at 7:30.

[t1lersm0m1]

Hi, so I really would like to read all pages to catch up, but I sacrificed and just read the last four pages.

 

Your SIL is a PIECE OF WORK. WOWZA! Some people are just unbelievable. I'm glad her father said he is ashamed of her, he should be. Hopefully since she lied about losing her job your bro won't have to pay as much support. I can't even get $400 a month from my loser ex. Oh well, these are the crosses we have to bear in life.

 

I've been going through the same thing with my son. He's 16, and he's been pulling back from me around 3-4 years now. He never wants to do stuff with just me. We have to bring his friends along. I miss the little kid that thought I was an amazing mom. Now I'm just the woman who raises him. People have told me that when he's in his 20's he'll go back to appreciating me. My son's not a bad kid, but teenager hood is a very difficult time.

 

I make my own laundry detergent. I love it. I make 5 gallons at once. I use 1 bar of laundry soap, 1 cup of washing soda, 1 cup of borax, and 5 gallons of water. Costs about $2 to make 5 gallons. I love it. Rich had booked us a class to make homemade stuff. I learned how to make homemade shampoo and cleaner, plus got ingredients to make other homemade items. That of course was before we broke up.

[Cheetarah]

I learned how to make homemade shampoo and cleaner, plus got ingredients to make other homemade items. That of course was before we broke up.

 

How do you make shampoo? I make my own fabric softener but didn't care for the detergent I tried. I can't exactly remember how it was made.

[Seraphim]

Yes ,teenager hood it is surely far different from younger children.

 

My ex-sister-in-law yeah she's a B. If it wasn't illegal to literally beat the crap out of her I would've done it already. Even though she would probably stomp me into the ground because she six-foot one and I'm 5 foot 3.

 

Yeah ,I like making my own detergent because I'm allergic to most of the additives in most laundry soaps, shampoos ,soaps and dish soaps. My whole body becomes one absolute itch zone and I get covered in red dots.

[t1lersm0m1]

How do you make shampoo? I make my own fabric softener but didn't care for the detergent I tried. I can't exactly remember how it was made.

 

It was castle soap, water, and some essential oil. There are also articles about using just plain old baking soda and water, but from what I've read online you have to go through a few bad hair WEEKS before your hair gets used to it. But people that have done it, afterward, love it.

 

I love my homemade laundry detergent. It needs to be shaken well before each use because it clumps up, but it's super inexpensive. Think of all of the gas it takes to ship those big bottles of Tide all over the country...not to mention the plastic in each bottle. Not trying to talk you into doing it, I'm just very happy I did.

 

I saw your post about doing your hardwood floors with tea. I wish I had hardwood floors in my new apartment cause I'd try it immediately!

[Seraphim]

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[Seraphim]

I discovered at my ASD meeting that there was actually no talk of screening with parents about Autism before the 2000's. There was nothing mainstream discussed about it before the 2000's. And unless your child was really severe or you had a doctor who knew something about it you were probably not going to get diagnosed.

 

Pretty sad isn't it?

[Seraphim]

So we want to go back to Florida in March. For March break. So I have to make around $2000 for us to go for the week. When we went last time we stayed at Pensacola Naval Air Station. Because my husband is in the military we can stay in US bases the same as we do in our own country. The hotel in the Naval Air Station was only $56 a night. The room had a kitchenette and a washer and dryer in the room. Also they have their own private beach.

 

So the main reasons for going would-be get some sunshine because I suffer so badly in the winter. And also the fact I want to face that demon down. Our last trip to Florida was the beginning of my complete nervous breakdown. If I can go back and have a great time that will be another success for me.

 

I asked my brother to bring his kids and we can all go together. I think it would be awesome for the cousins to get to go on a holiday together. I'm not sure the hag would let them go though.

[Seraphim]

I have decided to take my therapy to once a month. I think I have a lot of coping skills now and I don't need as much support.