Life in the Driver's Seat

[Seraphim]

Wait til he leaves. Block his email and phone number should he contact you. If he persists, file for harassment. Just be ready for the retaliation that may ensue.

 

Yeah. I going to wait until he has no physical way to get to me. I am afraid I must say. Not too too much for myself. I do not want him to do anything or say anything to my child. Or go after my mom or dad. If he goes after me I am afraid for my husband because he will KILL HIM. That would put my husband in jail.

[Huntress0527]

Yeah. I going to wait until he has no physical way to get to me. I am afraid I must say. Not too too much for myself. I do not want him to do anything or say anything to my child. Or go after my mom or dad. If he goes after me I am afraid for my husband because he will KILL HIM. That would put my husband in jail.

 

Not if it's self defense. Does your mom and dad know what you are going to do? If not, I would let them know so they can be forewarned.

[Seraphim]

Not if it's self defense. Does your mom and dad know what you are going to do? If not, I would let them know so they can be forewarned.

 

My mother knows. He may not be able to get to my mother because she is remarried and I am not sure if he knows her new name. I have to warn my dad, but AFTER I send the letter because my dad might warn them. It depends on who is allegence is to that day. I know he HATES his brother though.

 

The thing is I am easy to look up. We are in the phone book and he has my email because my aunt used it in the Christmas mail out. If I make him look bad in front of his family he is going to go after me. He already threatened my life several times before.

[Huntress0527]

My mother knows. He may not be able to get to my mother because she is remarried and I am not sure if he knows her new name. I have to warn my dad, but AFTER I send the letter because my dad might warn them. It depends on who is allegence is to that day. I know he HATES his brother though.

 

The thing is I am easy to look up. We are in the phone book and he has my email because my aunt used it in the Christmas mail out. If I make him look bad in front of his family he is going to go after me. He already threatened my life several times before.

 

Then you record and document everything. Don't let this man intimidate you. Protect yourself. I would see if you could get unlisted.

[Seraphim]

Then you record and document everything. Don't let this man intimidate you. Protect yourself. I would see if you could get unlisted.

 

I am telling my story no matter what happens. And if he comes after me I WILL send his ass to jail. For sure. I am an adult now and can protect myself. And I am plenty smarter than him.

[Huntress0527]

He may not come after you at all because you aren't a vulnerable person anymore. Predators prey on that and back then you were a minor so to him you were an easy target.

 

Just be as safe as you can and be prepared before sending the letter. All I'm saying.

[Seraphim]

The good part is he can't come onto DND property. If he does the MPs will escort him off. And they won't be nice about it.

[Seraphim]

I talked to my mom when she got home from the hospital yesterday. She said she had not even contemplated that either. She told me to think about what I wanted to do. She said he probably will come after me because I am upsetting his little applecart.

 

My husband is really incensed by all this. I mean he's really angry. He said the only reason that this has been allowed to continue is because people have protected him. He says if he does anything I'm going to eff him up.

 

So I'm really going to have to talk to my husband so he doesn't escalate anything.

[Seraphim]

The baby is doing better and will probably come home today. His parents were allowed to see him yesterday under police guard.

[Huntress0527]

The family sounds like a court of law- protect the guilty and not the innocent. Your husband just needs to blow off some steam. I'm sure he'll calm down.

[Seraphim]

The family sounds like a court of law- protect the guilty and not the innocent. Your husband just needs to blow off some steam. I'm sure he'll calm down.

 

Yeah they do protect the guilty in their family for sure. And I'm expecting them to do it again. I am sure I will be a total outcast when it is over.

 

I hope my husband calms down. But he just sees red even if somebody says something bad to me he just goes bananas. He has gone after somebody that said something to me once. About something like that he seems to have very little control. I don't want him getting himself into any trouble or making the situation worse.

[Seraphim]

link removed

 

My personality type.

 

 

 

 

 

Portrait of an ENFP - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

(Extraverted Intuition with Introverted Feeling)

 

The Inspirer

 

 

As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.

 

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

 

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

 

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

 

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

 

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

 

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.

 

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

 

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

 

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

 

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

 

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

 

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging accross a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.

[Seraphim]

^^^^

 

Yup, that is me 100%

[Cheetarah]

Thats totally you!

[Seraphim]

Thats totally you!

 

Isn't it scary????? That is me to a T

[Seraphim]

Great, my brother basically called me a chicken if I send out that email.

[Cheetarah]

How does that make you a chicken?

[Seraphim]

Because he said I am a weak tool if I do it that way. He said I need to get some balls and do it in person. That way I force them into an honest reaction.

[Cheetarah]

Oh? What the hell has your brother done? Has he stood up for himself like that in the family??

[Seraphim]

I told him I need him to emotionally stand with me. Him and my mom are all I have.

 

Wow, he really hurt me. Then he said he had to go because he is in the middle of some stock trades.( he is a financial adviser)

[Seraphim]

Oh? What the hell has your brother done? Has he stood up for himself like that in the family??

 

My brother is very bitter and angry about our past. He is far more angry than I am. But he is very logical and logic based person. I am the feeler and he is the logic person.

They accept my brother far more than me. I am bottom of the totem pole with them. He is barely above me, but they are the only family he remembers as my mother's family died when he was very small. Because he is a boy and carries their name he is important in that family. I am a girl and THAT woman's daughter so I am nothing.

[Seraphim]

However for him to call me weak is BS and pisses me off. It has started already, the picking sides shyte.

 

I protected him as a kid or he would be effin worse off now. He does not know how much I protected him.

[Cheetarah]

Hell yes I would have felt hurt and pissed. That is some nerve.

 

You do it your way. You've held it in 30 years, one doesn't just go from that to the extreme. Tell him when he's been in your exact shoes and confronted things in that very way he preaches, then you'll consider that.

[Seraphim]

Hell yes I would have felt hurt and pissed. That is some nerve.

 

You do it your way. You've held it in 30 years, one doesn't just go from that to the extreme. Tell him when he's been in your exact shoes and confronted things in that very way he preaches, then you'll consider that.

 

I am beyond stunned he would say that to me. My brother is very brutal in what he thinks though. If he feels someone needs an emotional kick in the ass he gives it. But now is not that time. He needs a filter there.

[Cheetarah]

Agreed. I'm pissed. Tell him that's not supportive to you when it comes to this situation. It brings you down, doesn't encourage you. You are taking a massive step. that's just ludicrous. jeez I cannot even imagine telling that to a room full of people. He is being such a dope. he needs to put in his empathy cap.