SA2000 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Damn it Gallop. You are always right on time. I have an ex that gained some weight post break up. She still hasnt lost it and that was years ago. Nothing makes me happier. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Share Posted March 3, 2011 I'm starting to feel very, very strong again. Probably because I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel again. I feel like I'm almost there. I've been in NC with her for 5 or 6 weeks now (I lost track). Yeah, I've seen her around, but it's so obvious that she puts up this front that she's so happy when she's really not. Kind of like how I was masking my pain by talking at nauseum about banging all these girls. Was just a phase and I thought it was cool. Now, I'm just really focusing on me and letting life come to me for once. I felt this strong about 6 weeks ago and that's right when my ex came and made a mess of my unsettled emotions. If she came knocking on my door tomorrow, I'd be able to handle it 100x times better because I've started to take the time to just be alone. Just let it be. Like The Beatles. When we want someone so badly, we'll never get them. Why? Because the Universe knows that giving you that person back will not make you, the best you. At least right now. I'm starting to realize (once again) that I've outgrown my ex. I started to feel this way before two months back. I realize now that there's so much more out there. So many new opportunities. New people to meet. Things to do. I have a job interview on Friday afternoon and I'm really excited for that. Couple that in with my vacation on Monday, baseball season kicking off soon, and my small business taking off and life really can't get any better for me. For the first time in a long-time, I can say that being single has been a huge relief for me. I needed this time and still need it now. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 It's crazy how once you relax and let things happen things go so well. I try to stress as little as possible. Lifes short man. Keep it up. Good luck on the interview. Link to comment
italiannmf24 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 When we want someone so badly, we'll never get them. Why? Because the Universe knows that giving you that person back will not make you, the best you. At least right now. That makes a lot of sense to me for some reason. But glad to see your seeing the brighter side of things thekid. Enjoy life! Link to comment
thekid55 Posted March 4, 2011 Author Share Posted March 4, 2011 Crushed the interview today. I was apparently the last person they wanted to interview. After meeting the regional director, he told me that he saved 'the best for last' because he was really impressed by my resume. I met with two different people, but we really didn't even talk about the job, which was cool with me. I asked the normal questions about corporate culture and stuff, but they told me that my resume told me all they needed to know, they want me and want to move the offer process along as quickly as possible. They also said I was very well-spoken and could tell I would thrive in that office. Loved the office. Liked the people in there. Love NYC. It's a good fit for me. Looks like I'll be NYC bound in a few months! Great day. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 good news Kiddo ,keep 'em coming.... Link to comment
thekid55 Posted March 5, 2011 Author Share Posted March 5, 2011 I talk to a bunch of different girls and shared the good news with friends/family, but it just sucks too that I don't have someone special to share that with yet. My ex and I had all of these plans together and I've watched all of these goals come true over the last few months without her around to enjoy it. Granted, it was her decision to bail because I was willing to talk. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 Nice. It's gotta feel good to know you're moving forward with life. That's the sound of the door closing on your ex. Link to comment
iBroken Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 Congrats on the new job! Dont feel bad about not sharing it with your ex (not to say that you do). She will soon come to hear that all the things you planned are coming to fruition. She will no doubt be sad but thats her loss. Dont let the door hit your ass on the way out. Link to comment
GetOverItPlz Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 I just sealed the deal with a manager for the tunage today, and I have to say, it DOES suck not being able to share that type of stuff with them, even if they are just your former. You guys know my ex was a big component of my music and was one of my biggest fans and pushers. Now she doesn't even like my fan page on FB ^_^ The point is, when someone who was once so integral in your success- or at the very least, your DRIVE to be successful- then it does kind of dull your success a bit. BUT... Don't let that diminish your success and the joy you feel about it. She no longer deserves to be a part of it, so don't let her! I'm proud of you Kid, keep it movin' forward. *sniff sniff* Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 I agree kid, it sucks not having that special person to share it with. Glad to hear things are going well, knock em dead. Hope you're having a blast in the DR. Link to comment
toofaced12 Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Hi, I've been reading your journal but never commented. Its' definitely helped me! My friends and I are going on a trip to Cuba next month, and planning it has definitely helped me have something to look forward to while going through a rough break up, so have fun in the Dominican! Link to comment
thekid55 Posted March 6, 2011 Author Share Posted March 6, 2011 Thanks MIC and TF12 for the support... Just to give any new reader the Cliff Notes' version of my story... My ex and I dated for two years and broke up back in October 2010. We are both senior in college and will be graduating this May. We made our plans for after graduation, spent all of our time together, and our families meshed really well. The first few weeks after the breakup? I was a complete mess. I was drinking very, very heavily. I started to reach back out to some of the friends I ignored while my ex and I were together. The friends were great and still are great, but I still pined for my ex. I tried to see her a few different times during those first few weeks. I resorted to even begging one time. It was bad and she always said no and told me to stop. I would always keep a tally of my NC days and she always seemed to crop up every two weeks or so. I heard from her on Thanksgiving, my birthday, and Christmas. I never answered her texts. After ignoring her for two months, she showed randomly to my apartment in January. She basically started crying, saying that she didn't just throw our relationship away (she did). When we broke up, we both agreed that we needed time away, but we ultimately wanted to be together. I heard that she was interested in a new guy so didn't like her back. After that, she sought out an ex-fling. They hooked up for awhile, but he basically blew up and told her off. While I was ignoring my ex, I was hooking up with A LOT of girls. Girls at school, girls at home, girls I just met. I was balling out. But I realize that it was just a temporary distraction and wasn't really helping me at all. I've cooled my jets with all of the hooking up and have spent more time focused on me. I got my job ready to go for after graduation, I'm playing on the baseball team again, and I have so many new friends now. I realize that I wouldn't have had these new friends or been on the baseball team if I was still with my ex. I still miss her and think about her everyday, but I'm realizing that this happened for a reason and it's probably for the best that we aren't together. I'm always going to have a super soft spot for her and I'm just accepting that. Who knows what the future holds, but I'm on the fast track. Link to comment
GetOverItPlz Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 I usually read Spark Notes, personally... Nah, but fa real. Isn't it interesting to look back at the arc our stories take? And just how similar they are... people pretend like their breakups are so special and unique. And while the people involved are unique, this is an age old problem and will continue to be for a very, very long time. It's absolutely insane how similar everyone's story is. Long distance. Short distance. Moved in. accross the globe. Man. Woman. Old. Young. Doesn't matter. One person takes all the power in the relationship. Leaves. Other person begs and pleads and grovels. First person says no and sends them on their way, to go off and galavant and see what else is out there. Other person is left to pick up the pieces, actually takes the time to learn from their mistakes, becomes better, etc. First person comes back, after facing their own heartache or realizations in an even harsher way, wanting back what they once had. Other person is beyond all of it, and is now in the place of power. The place of success and strength. The ball is in their court. This is an over-generalization to prove a point, of course. There are mutual breakups, there are deviations. But I see this A LOT. It's just how it is. Our story arcs are very similar. And now, we just wait. I'm sure these idiot exes will be back, and we'll be much better men when they do. I'll tell you what- if my ex took the time to learn and to become who she once was (+ better), I'd be receptive to her. Something tells me, however, she will not have learned a thing. Or at least not enough to be worthy of my interest. Just keep doin' you, and life will sort out the rest. I'm proud of you, Kid. One day you, me, SA and others gotta meet up somewhere and go hunting. It'd be too much fun. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 I feel that GOIP. For sure man. Most stories are similiar. Throw in a hint of cheating, a little age differential, a dash of emotional abuse, and a case of GIGS and you have the majority of ENA cases. Some stories are outliers (like Brownstone, dude was in a relationship for 19 years!) but 90% are the same. I agree with you that our damn exes aren't going to learn * * * * * on their own. I feel like we both provided a ton of clarity for their goofy a$$es and they messed it up. I already know that I'm going to have a great life and comfort lifestyle. Anyone who gets to ride shotgun now is a lucky woman. Same goes for you man with your career. Big things are already on their way. You know it. I know it. Haters know it! We just gotta keep grindin and keep watchin' people get mad about it. We are in the fast lane my man and anyone who gets to enjoy our presence is lucky! Off to vacation now. Will be back to post some stories on Saturday night! Link to comment
GetOverItPlz Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 No question homie! Enjoy your vacation, sir. Take lots of photogs. I wanna see the nice Dominican tail wandering the beaches! Be safe. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 I'm back. I'm alive (barely). I honestly had the trip of a lifetime. In short, we had a group of like 50 people that went from my school. Day drinking by the pool and beach all damn day. If I see another pina colada, I might puke. Haha. But for real though, the resort we stayed at was sick. Tons of hotties walking around. Lots of good drinks. DJs. Fun night life. We had a suite, which was honestly pure luck because all of our other friends had smaller rooms. Our suite was definitely the spot though before we went out at night. With the ladies, I hooked up with three randoms, one girl from my school who I didn't know, and my one steady girl (girl with boyfriend 'J') The three randoms were basically just drunk, night club hookups and the one girl from my school who I didn't know was basically the same thing. I pulled one girl out of the pizza palor there, but that's another story. 'J' and I had a thing a few years ago and when my ex and I broke up, I started to talk to her again after a few months. We've been hooking up for a solid two months now and we talk constantly. We gave each other space during the day and we'd bring our two groups of friends together at night and go out. Super good balance there. We slept together for three of the five nights. I passed out a little early on one of the nights and she came looking for me, but I was out cold. Just a side note: After I hooked up with this one chick, I went to go looking for J. One of her friends answered (who I'm friends with) and she told me that she went out. I immediately got super angry. She then told me that she just went to walk a friend back from the bar. But, that just went in one ear and out the other. I automatically assumed that she was with another guy and I bugged out. I was already in a drunken stooper and I punched a hole in the wall. Broke some stuff around the hotel. I basically berated her through text. I had her come over the next day, I apologized to her, but she was clearly pissed off with me (rightfully so). I already know that she hooks up with somebody else (her boyfriend, ahem), so I don't know. I know that I couldn't be with her because I couldn't trust her, but still. My room mate for the first two years at school (first friend here) and I had a long chat one night before going out. Him and I were pretty tight early on, but we basically just drifted apart when I started to date my ex. I told him that I regretted that happening, that I let my ex divide us, etc. He just said that he tried telling me early on that I was just way better than she was. But hey, I didn't listen and you gotta learn about that stuff on your own accord. He basically made a new group of friends and I just did my own thing with my ex. If him and I would have stayed together, who knows what would have happened, but I feel fortunate that we were able to patch stuff up and have him introduce me to his group. Overall though, I had a great time on SB. I met so many new people, I got a tan, I drank basically all day everyday, lived the ideal single SB lifestyle. The food was terrible, but if that's my only complaint, I had a good time! About the job: I got an offer letter and I'm in the process of filling out all of the forms. I start in early July in NYC. Found out as soon as I landed in the DR on Monday morning. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 glad it was a gongshow man. When we went we drank for like 18 hours straight. Best time of my life. hopefully going back in April. Rock on. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 Going through this benefit package for work right now. Mom came by to take a look. She said, 'Man *Ex* really screwed up. You are set up nicely'. Truer words have never been spoken Link to comment
GetOverItPlz Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 LOL. Moms gettin' it in! I love it. Glad you had a great time, homie. And congrats on the job and everything else! On behalf of all of your friends here at eNA, I say- CONGRATU f'n LATIONS! Link to comment
faithful14 Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 wow kid! things seem to be going great! p.s. your ex really effed up lol. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 Going out on my first real 'date' tomorrow night. Girl is hot and we've been talking for a few weeks now. She's super witty, a sports fan, and blonde. All three plus in my book. Link to comment
GetOverItPlz Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Duh, WINNING. Keep doin' it, kid! WE CHARLIE SHEEN'N IT!!!!!!!! Link to comment
SA2000 Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 What's the plan? I always watch American Psycho on the second date. If she makes it through that then she's a keeper. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 Well, I got back from the date a little while ago. She lives about an hour or so away, so we agreed to meet a bar in the middle. I met her online and I've been talking to her for a few weeks. As soon as I sit down at the bar, she texts me saying 'Don't freak out, but I'm bringing my sister with me because she's meeting up with someone too'. So I think to myself, great. They come in, she looks really good, and the sister looks like a troll. I automatically buy myself another drink because I realize that I havta do a two-for-one tonight because her sister's date stood her up. The bar we went to was having team trivia night so I thought that would be fun. We played as a group and I had a good time. She 'L' is extremely talkative, witty, cute, etc. We ended up staying at the bar for three hours or so just talking. Lost track of time. The sister was at our table the whole time so I couldn't run my normal stuff. I included the sister in the convos as much as possible because she was mad that she was stood up. I had both of them laughing the entire time. At the end of the night, I walked both of them to their car, arm and arm with L, and I gave her a hug and went in for the kiss and got the old cheek kiss. Maybe it was because the sister was standing right there or whatever, but I was kinda mad. Not sure if I'd go with the chick against because she lives kinda far from me and I'm not going to be in this area after graduation. She's definitely cool though, hot, and I had fun at the bar. Didn't text her or get a text after the date, either. Which is fine. No sweat. I could tell she had fun and was into me, but the sister really threw a monkey wrench into things. Link to comment
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