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Posted
I agree with C_Unknown. Playing the field and hooking up is fun, but it's a distraction. You're starting to see how, once that distraction is gone, you've still got the same old problems to deal with.

 

The real work you've got ahead of you is the work you need to do on yourself. Rather than looking for someone to love, take the time to make sure you are lovable. No more of this "player" attitude if you are honestly hoping to find a good girl to have a connection with.

 

Great points ToF. You always seem to knock me back into reality, which I need from time to time. A month ago, everything was so damn easy for me. I was being a player, talking to all these girls, etc. Now, I enjoy the company of these girls, but they knew what my boundaries were. It doesn't help me find another relationship, but hey, I'm not ready/looking for that right now. I'm in a transition period in my life. Everything is going to change for me in 3 months when I graduate. New people, new situation, new me. I'm ready to embrace that and just finish strong while I'm still here.

Posted

Had a great baseball practice tonight. Man, why didn't I start playing sooner here? Just a little bit of a back story with it. When I graduated high school, I had a few offers to play ball at the next level. However, during my senior year in HS, I played over 85 games during the spring and summer and just got burnt out. I chose the college I go to now because I received a nice scholarship package and the dorms were pretty sick. I was asked to walk on the team, but I decided not to. I had a rough transition from home and that's one of my biggest regrets.

 

To make up for it, I decided to pursue the non-division I team that plays 15 games or so per semester. It's my last semester and if I didn't play now, I never would have played again. Yes, I enjoy screwing around and playing softball with my friends, but it's not the same.

 

I interned at top companies over the last two years. Couple that with my course work load and a girlfriend and I had no time for ball anymore. Baseball was always my first love, but I just got burnt out during that last summer. The team I was playing for was so good that it started to feel like a job. Our coach pumped so much money into that team and we were always expected to win. We fell two games shy of going to the World Series that year and I just had enough.

 

I know for a fact that I would not of played this last semester if my girlfriend and I decided to stay together. I probably would be hanging out with her all the time. She was pushing me to play, but I was always exhausted after working and taking my classes at night. Now, I'm playing again and I have a ton of people who want to come to the games. I have a fan club, haha, so I can't wait for the games to start. I've made a lot of new friends on the team as well, so it's been fun. This is definitely one bright spot of the breakup.

Posted

Felt like writing another post tonight. Basically, dating sucks. In the time that I've been single, I've gone through a bunch of different girls. No one seems to stack up to what my ex and I had, but that's normal and it's been about 5 months since the breakup.

 

When I'm looking for a potential girlfriend (I'm not yet), I want someone who can be my best friend. I want someone who can laugh at my corny jokes, share my pain when something bad happens in my life, and just love me for me. I'm starting to sound a little emotional, but hey, sometimes you gotta get in touch with your emotions. I put up this rock-solid archaic front all damn day that I won't let anyone break through, but at night, when I relax, I just really start to think about what I truly want in life.

 

Ten years from now, I want to be married, have one kid, a successful career, and just be happy/healthy. I think almost everyone wants this and I know I'll have that too. I'm just going through this now because God wanted me to take this route in my life. If I would have stayed with her, I never would have played baseball, met new friends, got in touch with old ones, and drastically improved my lifestyle. My sense of fashion has improved and my workouts at the gym are always top notch. Just to think I never would have had any of this if we stayed together. Always a silver lining, right?

 

And I'm realizing now too that if we stayed together, we'd just start to hate each other. I think back to the night when we decided to break up. I remember saying to her, 'Look, I love you and I want to spend my life with you. But at the rate we are going, we'll just hate each other and need time away'. I didn't think that would translate into her pushing me away, pushing me into six weeks of total oblivion before I finally started to rebuild myself. I'm not there yet, but I've come a long way since the start of this journal. I was starting to really take her for granted and she was always pissing me off. She clearly felt the same way and be desperately needed to be away.

 

I think one day she'll realize what she had in me. I think she was freaked out because I was the one person in her life that truly understood her. And even now, I understand that she needs to go at it alone to prove to herself that she can make it. I was always there to pick her up and make it right, but I can't do that forever for her. She has to learn that on her own.

 

I'll admit that I'm very intimidating to the normal person. I'm very physically attractive, extremely smart, very athletic, know what I want in life, and always have my goals/priorities in order. Not many people my age have their ish together and I do. She suffers from very low confidence levels and I do pray that she finds that confidence and just blossoms because she has that ability to.

 

My happiness is always first, but I want her to be happy too someday. Whether that's with me or not with me, I want her to be happy because if I wished anything but happiness on her, I'd show that I didn't truly care about her and to me, that's not right. Sure, I can sit here and hate her for doing x,y, and z, but I just can't hate her anymore. If anything, I should thank her because I never would have gotten my crap together if we stayed together.

 

Now, I'm back on the fast track and ready to embrace the future, whatever that may hold for me.

Posted

Decided just to chill tonight. I need this every once in awhile. Things get super busy with school work, my job, my business, friends, girls, etc. I feel like I need a break from the whole dating scene. I'm gonna stop pursuing for awhile and just get my game right. Of course, I'm still gonna have a bunch of girls after me, but I'ma just be easy for awhile.

 

I leave for Spring Break in roughly one week and that's gonna be absolute insanity. College spring break. A bunch of friends going. A week without ENA. I'm ready to just get on that plane and get to that island. I need it man. And of course, I'm gonna turn the game back on then and do what I gotta do.

Posted
I leave for Spring Break in roughly one week and that's gonna be absolute insanity. College spring break. A bunch of friends going. A week without ENA. I'm ready to just get on that plane and get to that island. I need it man. And of course, I'm gonna turn the game back on then and do what I gotta do.

 

Amen to that, brotha.

Posted

Do I miss my ex or do I miss the closeness of that relationship?

 

Something that I've been debating recently. I really miss having someone there to share my good news with. Friends and family are great and I never take them for granted, but there's no better feeling than seeing that special girl light up when you have good news to share with her. And I always seem to have good things happening to me. I don't always want to go running off and tell my friends because I'll feel like I'm bragging then.

 

I think I miss my ex more as a best friend than as a girlfriend. The whole friends things would never work, but yeah, I miss having that person who I had a crazy strong connection with.

Posted
Do I miss my ex or do I miss the closeness of that relationship?

 

Something that I've been debating recently. I really miss having someone there to share my good news with. Friends and family are great and I never take them for granted, but there's no better feeling than seeing that special girl light up when you have good news to share with her. And I always seem to have good things happening to me. I don't always want to go running off and tell my friends because I'll feel like I'm bragging then.

 

I think I miss my ex more as a best friend than as a girlfriend. The whole friends things would never work, but yeah, I miss having that person who I had a crazy strong connection with.

 

Exactly how I feel man. Maybe some day. I think until we actually find someone to fill in that void, someone who CAN be our best friend..they'll always be in the back of our minds. Or the front. haha.

Posted

I set up an account on Plenty of Fish just for pure enjoyment and see what would pop off. In Day 1, I probably got a 50% reply rate (I sent messages all over the place) saying literally the dumbest crap ever. My profile is 100% a comedy act and I put few pictures up there.

 

I'm realize that PoF is kind of like the bar scene. You got the fat chicks, the average chicks, and the hot girls who have no personality. No disrespect to anyone, but it's the damn truth. I messaged back and forth with a few of the hot girls and these 9s and 10s have literally no personality or know how to keep a conversation going. The fat girls have mad funny profiles and I'm sure we'd get along, but I can't date someone who weighs more than me! (I'm 190 lbs).

 

I'll leave it up for a few more days just for enjoyment, but damn man.

Posted

I've had one up for a while, as soon as I switched my profile from the typical "hi i like camping" to some random crap that popped up into my head, I started getting way more messages. Totally agree, it's like the bar scene hahaha.

Posted

POF.. its a hook up web site.. there are very little to no quality women on there.. ive got an acct there. i get 10-20 emails a day.. 3 i would maybe respond too.. but ive hooked up with a couple of hotties from there.. for some dinner and booty.. haha that site is sad..

 

give it a few months after the ex feelings die down some more i wanna try e harmony.. 1 one my buddies. got matched with the first girl 2 yrs ago.. there getting married in may.. the other one is dating another great girl for the past yr from that site

Posted

To just add onto this journal, I was robbed last night. Well, my townhouse was robbed.

 

My room mate and I went to sleep around 4am last night. Our townhouse has three floors and we sleep on the third floor. He knocked on my door this morning and asked me if I saw what happened. I thought he was joking and I went down and I saw my 46' inch Plasma TV was gone. In addition, our kitchen was trashed. Our third room mate's room was a mess. Both my room mate and I lock our doors at night, but whoever broke in got into his room and took his iPod, Mac, Wallet, etc. They didn't get into my room, but they wouldn't have made it out alive if they did. All of my food was taken out of the fridge, toilet paper, etc. My peacoat was stolen ($500) in addition to my DVD collection ($250), sneakers ($100), so all in all, about $2,000 worth of crap was taken. They apparently took ice cream out of our freezer and ate it. Left the crap on the table.

 

We are working with the police now, but we got them on video tape....

 

Does this BS ever end?

Posted

Sucks man. Hopefully u got renters insurance! At least they didn't take ur computer..

 

Def pretty bold of the robbers..

 

I had a friend who's car was stolen. They broke into the house and took his keys while he was sleeping they even moved his gf car outa the way to get to his..

 

Robbers are nuts...

Posted

Basically, our neighbors stole from us. The police had a warrant and busted into their unit. No one was around in there. We were able to recover a lot of our stuff, but we still collectively have over $1,500 worth of stuff missing. One of the kids that did it messaged my room mate trying to play it off as a joke and 'college humor on the wrong person'. My god. Grow up.

 

They'll get there's soon enough.

 

When is this non-stop drama ever going to end for me?

Posted

Still get the sense of being violated, you know? My room mate had trouble sleeping last night. These kids are basically done for and I'm not gonna do anything stupid on my end that will prevent me from going on vacation next week.

 

I had to meet with campus safety today and I honestly can't make this stuff up, but I saw my ex again. Sucks because she was always the person I went to whenever I had the occasional issue and she was always a good listener.

Posted
Still get the sense of being violated, you know? My room mate had trouble sleeping last night. These kids are basically done for and I'm not gonna do anything stupid on my end that will prevent me from going on vacation next week.

 

I had to meet with campus safety today and I honestly can't make this stuff up, but I saw my ex again. Sucks because she was always the person I went to whenever I had the occasional issue and she was always a good listener.

 

When it rains it pours. You're obviously stressed out, so seeing her right now doesn't help...just wait till next weekend when you're out, you definitely need a vacay.

Posted

sorry to hear that Kid,man would i get pissed if somebody stole my toilet paper and ice cream. imagine i wake up in the middle of the night and have none of those. i'll fk the whole neighborhood up.

 

did you have security cameras?

 

fking punks,joke my a$$.

 

hope you'll get all of the other damages back.

Posted

Damn son, I would have been BUSTIN' HEADS if that was my crib. If you need some muscle, I got you. lol. Glad they found the chumps though.....

 

Where are you headed to for vacay?

Posted

Heading down to the Dominican for a week in a week.

 

I'm just trying lay low man and not do anything stupid. Way too close to vacation and graduation to mess it all up now.

 

Gallop-Lmao man. You always got those witty comments that I crack up to. If they woudda came in my room....smh I can only imagine

Posted

oh kid, hope the situation turns out for the better.

 

you should ask them to pay you a settlement to drop these charges. a university degree goes down the drain for a moment of stupidity.

Posted
oh kid, hope the situation turns out for the better.

 

you should ask them to pay you a settlement to drop these charges. a university degree goes down the drain for a moment of stupidity.

 

I feel you here. I have a super short temper when things like this get heated. I know that I can lose all of my hard work over the last 22 years if I do something silly.

Posted

Saw the stupid ex at the gym tonight. I saw her on the treadmill, walking and I was like, damn, she gained weight. Her butt should be running! Not walking!

 

She was texting her room mate the entire time she was on the treadmill, who was a few machines away. Of course I had bicep day at the gym and I was looking good as hell. Heard her corny laugh a few times (pretty loud too) and I was like, smh. I was thinking, you better get running or else no dude is gonna talk to you!

 

Was told too that her jerky ex told her off awhile back because she just kept coming over his house and he got tired of it. He basically just said Eff You and cursed her out and she left. Said that she was crazy.

 

Been talking to a bunch of different girls again. The "new girl" from weeks back asked me about the robbery and I just told her what was up. That's it.

Posted

she gained weight because she needs a different kind of exercise,seems to lack in that department since her and Kid aren't training together anymore.

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