snuupi Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 Hi everyone.. I've got a problem. The guy I'm about to fall in love with is in a relationship with another girl. But he started contacting me. He asked me for my ICQ-number.. He always comes to talk to me and picks up conversations with unimportant introductions.. AND he's flirting with me. Tuesday I went to his house, because he kind of provocated me to do so it was a spontaneous action.. and he really liked it we talked about 2 hours and he went to a shop with me because i needed cheese for meal.. then he said that he'd really like to come home with me but he needed to be in town half an hour later.. so I went home and we chatted on ICQ.. then he wrote, if I'd like to clean my house at night (that's what my spontaneous action was all about) after the soccer-game.. i should give him the word.. and then he gave me his cell phone number.. So I really gave him the word and he came by at midnight.. we talked about 2 hours and went to bruger king at half past three at night just because I was hungry.. although school was on the next day.. The next day we had a free lesson and he asked, if I wanted to come with him.. he would cook something and clean my car window.. i said yes.. and he really made something to eat and cleaned my car window Today I asked him if he wanted to come over to watch the game of Germany and Urugay.. some people would come over and yeah.. He answered the following: "hey thanks for asking me. i really feel honoured^^ unfortunately i arranged to meet [name of his girlfriend] .. but maybe a miracle is going to happen somehow I wonder, if it's like he really wanted to come and it sounds like he would have had no objections if his girlfriend hadn't had time.. ?? I don't know if he really is interested in me.. we have a lot of things in common (that is what he said a lot of times), he made me a lot of compliments and, as i said, he always is looking for a talk with me.. What do you think? Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 I think you should stop yourself before you do fall for him. like you said, he is involved with someone else. if he wants to be with you, he should break up with her. tell him that!! Link to comment
Fudgie Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 Just because he's flirting with you doesn't mean it's okay. It's wrong to engage yourself with someone who you KNOW is attached. Seriously, don't be the "other woman". And if he's cheating on his girl with you, who's to say that he WON'T do the same to you if you ended up with him? The guy's a loser. Link to comment
snuupi Posted July 10, 2010 Author Share Posted July 10, 2010 As long as he is with his girlfriend I won't let anything happen. And actually I don't think that he's the type of man who would cheat on his girlfriend.. I'd just like to know if you think that things look well for me.. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 things will look better if they break up. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 Then, yes, I do say that he does like you. It sounds like he'd rather do stuff with you than with his girlfriend, given by the snippet of the convo you gave. I'm glad you're choosing not to let anything happen if he's currently attached. The way you can find out if he's the type of guy to cheat is just to casually joke about "dating" him or something along that lines. If he doesn't mention the girlfriend at all and expresses desire to go out and do things with you in a romantic sort of way, then yes, he's a cheater. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 Put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes, and ask yourself how you would feel if your boyfriend was crossing the line with another girl? This guy is no prize! Link to comment
savignon Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 Do things look good for you? Not really. You're interested in a guy who has a girlfriend. If and when that changes you can find out if he's interested. Until then, stay away! Link to comment
DN Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 I think you should stop yourself before you do fall for him. like you said, he is involved with someone else. if he wants to be with you, he should break up with her. tell him that!!Ditto this advice. Link to comment
StarFright Posted July 10, 2010 Share Posted July 10, 2010 And if he's cheating on his girl with you, who's to say that he WON'T do the same to you if you ended up with him? Totally agree with this. I give you props for doing the right thing and staying out of his current relationship. But if he is really interested in you, he would call it off for this girl since obviously she isn't holding his attention. In a way he could be emotionally cheating. Even if he did break up with her for you I'd still be a little skeptical. You already see how he can work in a relationship, and he could do this to you if you do get involved with him at some point. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 The guy is giving you a pretty clear demo of how easily he can be disloyal to a girlfriend. Is he really a prize you'd want to win? Link to comment
hockeyplaya44 Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 You are all way too sensitive on subjects like this. The world isn't perfect, and nobody can help who they are attracted to. Yes, he should break up with his girlfriend before moving farther. However, saying the guy is a loser simply because he is now more interested in the OP than his girlfriend is wrong. People should do what makes them happy. It's equally unfair to his girlfriend for him to continue in a relationship that has obviously become one big lie. Link to comment
StarFright Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 You are all way too sensitive on subjects like this. The world isn't perfect, and nobody can help who they are attracted to. Yes, he should break up with his girlfriend before moving farther. However, saying the guy is a loser simply because he is now more interested in the OP than his girlfriend is wrong. People should do what makes them happy. It's equally unfair to his girlfriend for him to continue in a relationship that has obviously become one big lie. For the record, I have been in the exact position as the OP and I have seen what bad can happen. A little insight to my own experience: I was 18, a senior in high school. I met a guy a year ahead of me who had transferred back to the school to retake some classes (long confusing story) We clicked, I thought he was charming, sweet, funny...he had his drawbacks but I didn't think they mattered. Anyway, I had found out a week after talking and flirting with him that he was seeing some other girl. He broke up with her, then started dating me. I felt a little victorious (nothing against his ex) in that I won him over...he obviously liked me more. Of course, when his ex found out she tried her best to pry. Fast forward months later and he stopped being cute and charming, I had equated this to the fact we slept together, and I think this did have something to do with it. Along with him becoming increasingly cold I had also found out that the night prior to him breaking it off with me, he was with another girl. They immediately started dating. So how crappy I felt that he had done to me what he did to his last ex. He seemed so nice and open, and was an all around "good guy" at first impression. But after I got "boring" he moved right onto the next prospect. And keep note: Everyone is on their best behavior when trying to get with someone. My ex was and still is a loser, but when we first met he made sure he came off as the most respectable guy in the world...otherwise we wouldn't have gotten together (It did give me a sharper eye, though) This happens quite often sadly. Sometimes it is nice to give people the benefit of the doubt but you have to be prepared for the risks involved. Link to comment
hockeyplaya44 Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 Yeah, stuff like that happens all the time, and that's just how life goes. Not getting into a relationship because it may go sour at some point is selling yourself short. This guy could very well just be a jerk, but maybe after doing that for awhile he will find a girl who he really wants to commit to. If that happens, everyone is eventually better off. Link to comment
LightbulbSun Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 He already has a girlfriend. Stop before you do something you regret. Link to comment
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