dundermiflin Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 My boyfriend of 7 months asked me to marry him a few days ago. I think he's an amazing guy and I'm lucky to have found him, but I'm scared that I don't have that head-over-heels feeling for him. I told him it was a little soon for me since we had only just met 7 months ago. I've been through quite a few relationships and I know the odds of finding someone like him are low. If I tell him that I'm nervous, he might back away from me or be hurt enough that I'll lose him for good. A major thing- he has kids (50% custody) and his apartment lease is up in just a few months. We are starting to gear up to get my house ready for them all to move in- that includes a major investment of time and money on both sides to make rooms for them. I love the kids, and if it doesn't work out between us it will hurt them too and they would all have to move out. They already picked out what colors their rooms will be. Even though we are not engaged and he isn't pressuring me about it, I feel like we almost have to be at that point because of the kids' situation. Having doubts after they move in would be hard on everybody. Also... I have kind of a crush on a guy a work. Don't get me wrong- he's not a good match for me and I'd never act on it. It's just that it bothers me that I even have this crush- why can't I feel this way about my bf? I just wish I felt more strongly about him. I've told him I loved him and meant it... but "in love"- I'm not totally sure. I don't want to have crushes and doubts when I'm at a point where I'm engaged to someone. Is this an indication that he isn't the right one for me? I look at him sometimes and I know I am lucky; he's really special. Is that enough? I don't want to lose the best thing that's ever happened to me, but I don't want to force myself into marriage. I am so stuck Link to comment
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