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When was the exact moment when you realized your ex wasn't worth your tears anymore

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I'm sure everyone goes through a time after their breakup where they long for their ex, and have a desire to win them over again.

For those of you who have healed after a breakup and moved on, what was the EXACT moment you realized "They aren't worth the effort and pain anymore. I'm moving on for good..."

-Did something significant happen in your life to change your perspective? New job? New love interest? Health problems? etc.

-Did your ex drive you away and show their true colours?


I would love to hear some stories.


For me,I thought I had one of those moments with my recent ex...but it was a false alarm.

There was a time back in December when my ex told me he was starting to see someone new. I still tried to hold on to dear life. Even when he was out for a date, I asked him to call me in the evening. It tore me apart...but I held on.

This one particular day, I asked him to call me in the evening after his date. He agreed. I waited and received a call at 10pm. He immediately said "I gotta go" and hung up. I was confused and kept trying to call, but he kept declining. I eventually get a call 2 hours later.

I asked "Where were you?".

"I was at her house"

"What?...What were you guys doing?"



After that conversation, I went NC. I couldn't torture myself anymore. I was healing, but he contacted me after 2 months. I broke NC and I'm stuck again. I'm waiting to get unstuck...I'm waiting for the moment I'll be able to walk away again.


So, when was your EXACT moment?

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I think it just comes to a point when you realise enough is enough and you have to let go for your own piece of mind and emotional health.


For me its when you realise that old saying "plenty more fish in the sea" is actually true, you may go out with friends and find yourself talkign to lots of different girls/boys and then you realise it isnt all bad and life goes on.

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For me, mine was the day I went to the OB for a follow-up post miscarriage. I was surrounded by pregnant women, and their boyfriends/husbands. The hour I waited alone for the doc, I just sat there thinking, I should not be by myself. He should have been here, he should be with me, supporting me. Even if he never knew what to say, just knowing he was there would have been enough. I already knew I would never go back with him, but that was the straw that broke that camel's back, the defining moment.

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i think today is the day, my friend made a fake account on a dating site the other nite, she spoke with my ex, he sort of knew it was fake he thought it was me but he wasn't sure, he said some nasty * * * * about me, like i had the body of a 60yr old woman, and that i was past it, i sent him a copy of the convo that she emailed me, then sent it along to him, with a long letter from me! answering back to all the crap he said about, well he emailed today told me he knew it was me, even tho it wernt, and he said, its over!! get on with your life!! your making it worse with your little games!! soo i text told him i dont love him anymore anyway...so its done. its over i can move on.

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I tortured myself at the end of my first marriage, all through couples councilling, a trial seperation, working things out, not working things out, moving out for a month, everything. I shed so many tears feeling it was all my fault and thinking I was a failure because I couldn't make it work. When it finally came down to telling him we needed to divorce, all our conversations of a amicable split went right out the window. He became nasty, talking about me and telling friends and family lies about me, traeting me like I was the scum of the earth, telling me that everything was all my fault, he didn't speak one word to me when we signed our divorce papers. After our last meeting for that, I left there with a new feeling towards my situation. I had the epiphany that it was NOT all my fault, he was emotionally and verbally abusive and I had just signed not only the divorce papers, but a new lease on life for me. I decided to never shed another tear over him again.... and I haven't.

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When I finally accepted there was someone better out there for me and I didn't need him in my life. I was fine before him and I will be fine after him. I realized he's probably not sitting around shedding tears for me or us so I need to move on.

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Simple. It was the moment after a few years of deliberation that i finally realised my ex'es heart was not mine to own. It only took one look for him to be offering his heart to another person. I sat there and watched it myself. He wanted it, someone else to own it. He wanted out. At the same time kicking my heart to the kirb. Not a nice feeliing. Hey hoy!

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When she came back LOL


But before that, when I realized she was nothing but a selfish starts with a B and ends in an H ( I got an infraction for spelling out a very commonly used acronym so I have to be choosy with how I swear LOL). After that, I spilled less tears and spewed more venom.

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For me, there came a point when feeling sad became exhausting. Yes, I lost sleep over the months, but my body's threshold gave in. I realized that I can continue exhausting my body, but ultimately, in the end, no matter who surrounds me, i am left to fend for myself. That's when I realized that tears are inconsequential.


The strength and heart that embody me have never left. Yes, it's bittersweet; however, being heartbroken over someone who doesn't possess the equivalent sentiments is not fair for the self. I came to the conclusion that yes, I still love my "ex"; however, he broke us. I don't want a friend out of guilt. A true friendship isn't culminated out of guilt. That's when I realized that my tears for him are moot.


Cry. Be bitter. Take time to grieve. Times will get betterr. Times will get worse. But I do promise you that times will look up.



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When I decided to realize I was worth more than the pain he was causing me.


Same here. I cried and I felt like I was dying because of the pain. Then I questioned myself "who the heck is he to cause me all these pain? " He is a nobody. So then I was like ...forget it. I don't want to get hurt anymore. I rather be on my own than endure these pain every other day. I rather be happy and even when I am alone or feel sad, then it won't be as painful.

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Which time? My healing was a long and winding path. My tears were for the loss of our relation which was very valuable to me, even after it was over. I was torn up precisely because I thought he was worth it. These days the saddest thing is that he didn't think he was worth it.

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The first breakthrough was when I went to lunch with my mom and two friends, who are all happily married and I'd be VERY VERY surprised if they ever divorce. They told me their horror stories with their ex boyfriends. They told me "everything works out the way it's supposed to be." It also showed me that some day I will be as happy as them when I find the right person, even if i go through hell first like they did.


The other push was when I found out my ex had lied to me about his reasons for the breakup. Realizing he lied def. knocked him off his pedestal in my mind.

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