Jump to content

Recommended Posts

We dated for 4.5 years, she aged 19-24 me aged 23-28. she cheated, left me for guy #1. Dated him for a few months, left him for guy #2, did not have a good relationship with him and left him on bad terms after 2 months for guy #3.


14 months after we broke up, our paths cross, for no other reason other than love we end up back together, her leaving guy #3 for me.


About 3 months into the relationship she is back in contact with guy #2 asking him for some belongings. they decided (she tells me) that although the relationship didnt work they could be friends. so occasionally goes to visit. telling me the primary reason is to see his daughter upon whom she dotes. this eventually turned into a bi-monthly event where on each occasion she would stay for just under a week filling a hole for guy #2 while he was looking for a new babysitter.


Every time she goes to visit, the level of attention she pays me (volume of calls texts etc) drops significantly, I once picked her up about this and she said she was always busy there, which i found a little odd as the daughter is at school for the majority of the time.


Ive had to move away for the time being and wont be back for around 6 months, about 10 days ago she went to see guy #2 and went with his daughter and him to visit his parents for a few days which is about a 5 hour drive. she didnt tell me she was planning on doing this until i contacted her sometime after she'd arrived.


During the 4 or 5 days in which she was away, the little bubble of insecurity inside me caused by wandering what may or may not be going on with her and this guy exploded. I had a go at her on more than one occasion. telling her she was being insensitive towards me and didnt seem to care about me.


The next day she would barely talk to me. so I asked her outright if this was because of the way i'd spoken to her or if she was cheating. she said it was because of the way id spoken to her. I left the topic well alone for a couple of days when i spoke to her, then i appologized for the things id said, stating that my insecurity was my own problem and I shouldnt have spoilt her trip by demanding attention all the time.


Back when she was 24 and she left me for guy #1 I asked her during the time that she was cheating and I was unaware of him (about a 2 week period) if there was anything she should tell me and did she still want to be with me? she said no there was nothing to tell and she wasnt sure about us. i eventually found out about her and guy #1 when by coincidence i saw them together.


just the other day after we had argued I asked her the exact same 2 questions and got exactly the same answers. But right now she seems so off with me and she is saying it is because of the way i spoke to her.


I just wandered If anyine had any insight. what i really wanted to know is if in someones opinion it is genuine that she is just so mad at me for acting in a jealous way while she was hanging out with her friend and his parents OR if infact she is cheating all over again and coming out with the exact same lies.


not knowing is driving me crazy. asking her would be pointless. I know from the past once she has decided to lie she will stick to it.

Link to comment

This is just wrong, i think you should ditch this girl. I would not put up with this, but i guess thats just my opionion. Just from reading your story, even if you do put up with this for a while, something is gonna come between you two in the future so why delay the inevitable. Git rid of her, and start to focus on yourself and your happyness again and not worry about hers.


My two cents.

Link to comment

You are letting her stay for weeks at a time with ANOTHER man and his child? Are you crazy? Most likely she has some sort of affair going with him, even if it's only emotional. Something aside from the child is bringing her back to him and you are putting up with this.

Link to comment

She has a history of leaving one man and jumping into bed with the next, seemingly without feeling or regard for who she hurts.


She's galavanting around town with the ex and you have to ask if she's cheating?


Yeah she is....I'd be willing to bet my car payment on it.

Link to comment

OK, this woman hops from man to man with no break in between, so it could be that she really wants man #2, but he waffling about a commitment so she is still seeing you until he agrees to commit (or she finds some yet unknown new man).


This woman is not mature enough yet to be in a long term relationship, if she hops so easily from man to man. I would gather based on her history that she doesn't think there is anything wrong with cheating and chasing after her latest fantasy, so your days are probably numbered, whether she is cheating with #2 or not...

Link to comment

She is unfortunately cheating. She sounds like the kinda gal that craves the "chase" and the "thrill". I'm sorry but it takes a substantial relationship to make you want to see an exe's kid that isn't even related to you - like you said, the kid is at school, so what other reason could it be? Honestly, is this guy she seeing aware you even exist? You have every reason to end it. Trust me, your reasons are valid and there is no fault in yourself. Her behavior stems from her own insecurities and selfish needs. By ending it and making her realize that not ALL men are easily trapped into her lies, you will be doing her a favor. I would probably drive up to said friends house one evening (if you can control yourself) and have a mature chat between the three of you. If she was mature and had nothing to hide and was genuinely concerned about your feelings - this request would be accepted with grace and understanding. GL.

Link to comment

Lets just say she isn't cheating.....I know people I know just hear me out.


She leaves one guy after another for unknown reasons.

She ends back with you

She decides it is okay to spend qualtiy time with her ex bf.

She thinks nothing of your feelings as she spends weeks? with him and his daughter.

She gets upset with you when you have a problem with this strange arrangement.


If this was happening to your best friend what would you tell him to do?


She is cheating. She is being very selfish. She is very dis respectful to you and your relationship. She is CRAZY!!!


Run do not walk to the nearest exit.



Link to comment
  • 1 year later...
Dude, history repeats itself. You answered your own question when you said she lied and cheated last time. What makes you think things are different this time? Get out of this relationship and this time you get a girl number 2! For once give it back to her!!


Why are you responding to a thread that was started over 1 year ago?....chi

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...