Wine and Sublime... a new journal by Jen

[Daligal83]

I'm so sorry If you need to talk over PM or anything, let me know. I know how hard it is to lose a pet, especially two so close together.

 

I'm glad you got Cairo back by the way. Did your landlord change his mind about pets?

[jengh]

I'm so sorry If you need to talk over PM or anything, let me know. I know how hard it is to lose a pet, especially two so close together.

 

I'm glad you got Cairo back by the way. Did your landlord change his mind about pets?

 

Thank you. It was just so sudden. I feel so helpless Agh.

 

No, they didn't... I just snuck her back in. I know it may not be very wise, but I needed her and couldn't afford to move again. I might leave for the summer in early July and stay at home for awhile though.

[Daligal83]

I totally understand. Pets provide such unbelievable comfort. I wish I could have a pet, but I can't afford one and I'm rarely home so it wouldn't be fair.

[jengh]

I totally understand. Pets provide such unbelievable comfort. I wish I could have a pet, but I can't afford one and I'm rarely home so it wouldn't be fair.

 

I have never in my life been without a pet (except in England, where I'd visit cat sanctuaries hah) and just couldn't handle not having one.They're such an important part of my life. My animals have always been everything to me. I was just thinking yesterday how much I miss Minka, I can't believe D1ckens is gone now.

[sophie274]

I'm so sorry Jen. You're having a rough go of it lately. I'm on here, but in a train so my internet is spotty, and on my phone. You know you can get in touch any time.

 

Apres la pluie le beau temps. I just know things are going to get better for you and you're going to have a wonderful summer.

[jengh]

I'm so sorry Jen. You're having a rough go of it lately. I'm on here, but in a train so my internet is spotty, and on my phone. You know you can get in touch any time.

 

Apres la pluie le beau temps. I just know things are going to get better for you and you're going to have a wonderful summer.

 

Thank you sophie. Your friendship and support really does mean the world to me!!!

 

I just want to curl up and cry right now.

[sophie274]

I think it's ok to curl up and cry. I mean, sometimes you just need to let it all out, allow yourself to have a major pity party, and then, once you've let it out, try to pick yourself up and keep going. You've had a rough few months - you don't have to be dealing with it like a pro.

 

If it were me, I'd probably curl up in my bed with Cairo and cry and then maybe watch a movie, and then make it a really early night and then start tomorrow off well.

 

But do whatever makes you feel better, if you can think of anything. Take care of yourself Jen.

[Daligal83]

Yea absolutely let yourself cry. When we put my dog down I sat in the waiting room at the vet's and bawled hysterically until it was over. You have to allow yourself to grieve.

[jengh]

Yeah, I know it's healthy and I'm definitely one to be open with my emotions... I'm just so overwhelmed. I had a terrible panic attack earlier. I couldn't breathe, I felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room. It was scary-I'd never had one quite like it.

 

On the plus side, I got a gigantic watermelon for $3.50 and it's fantastic. Sigh.

[jengh]

Yeah, I know it's healthy and I'm definitely one to be open with my emotions... I'm just so overwhelmed. I had a terrible panic attack earlier. I couldn't breathe, I felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room. It was scary-I'd never had one quite like it.

 

On the plus side, I got a gigantic watermelon for $3.50 and it's fantastic. Sigh.

[Catdancer]

Aww Jen, I'm so sorry about your fur baby! My cat Bud, died so suddenly. Luckily I was right there and was able to hold him until he passed. We think he had a sudden massive heart attack. He was pretty old too. And the sweetest boy ever. It was hard because it was so sudden. But I am also thankful that it wasnt something prolonged and painful.

 

Hug Cairo, cuddle up and let yourself grieve. Then put your big girl panties on, hold your head up and keep going. Huggs!!!

[Shortpants]

Oh Jen, when it rains it pours. I am so sorry about your kitty, two in two months is just too much to bear. I'm just glad you managed to get Cairo back with you.

 

Take care and cry as much as you need to.

[jengh]

Thanks ladies, it means a lot

 

Not much to say today. It's rainy and crap out. All I want to do is get some sun and chill. I can't focus and I have a crap-ton of reading to get done for tomorrow which I usually do by the pool.

 

Overwhelmed.

[sidehop]

I'm very sorry Jen

 

We were at the local SPCA so our daughter can look at all the animals there including a horse outside. What was so sad too is that the overwhelming number of cats that were there compared to last time and as much as we'd like to take home every living creature there (we have three cats and a dog) this one particular cat looked SO sad. The note on his cage read he's here because the 'owner deceased'. My heart just sunk just looking at him.

 

Cats and animals are wonderful existence to us.

[jengh]

I'm very sorry Jen

 

We were at the local SPCA so our daughter can look at all the animals there including a horse outside. What was so sad too is that the overwhelming number of cats that were there compared to last time and as much as we'd like to take home every living creature there (we have three cats and a dog) this one particular cat looked SO sad. The note on his cage read he's here because the 'owner deceased'. My heart just sunk just looking at him.

 

Cats and animals are wonderful existence to us.

Oh, how sad. That poor little cat I really hope someone brings him into their home. I can't go to shelters, I would end up with 50.

[jengh]

Okay, I need a happy fun post for once in this damn thing.

 

I like experimenting with various drinks and mixers and some are good, some not so good but I really outdid myself this time.

 

I call it the banana breeze (I googled it and didn't find any drinks of such name).

 

3 parts watermelon vodka

4 parts banana puree juice

splash of sparkling lemonade

watermelon ice cubes (freeze cubed watermelon!)

 

Mix banana and vodka together in a shaker with ice, strain into glass and top with lemonade. Garnish with lime.

 

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[greywolf]

that looks good!

[jengh]

It's so delicious! You can't really taste the alcohol at all and it's very summery. I wish I could make one for everyone!

[jengh]

I'm so freaking sick of my friends screwing me over time and time again. We've had plans to go to Michigan's Adventure, a theme park/water park for over a month now. We had been really fired up about it and I'd been saving for awhile (I'm poor so $60 couldn't just be pulled out of thin air). Today she tells me she's going to Chicago with her friend next weekend to see a guy she met last year. She knows what I've been going through and how I've been severely depressed lately and she just ditches me?

 

I'm planning on staying in Harbor for the summer and she made a HUGE deal out of me "leaving" her (I'll be down here once a week for therapy anyways!) but she's constantly bailing on me and making everyone else a priority. She's my closest friend in Grand Rapids so it's just really crappy that this is what my friendships have come to.

 

I've always been so closely tied to my friends in the past and now it's like nothing. I don't understand. My feelings are very hurt. I know she didn't forget because we've been talking about it nonstop.

[renaissancewoman101]

That was real crappy of your friend. Do you have another friend you could go with on such short notice?

 

Waterparks are cool.

[jengh]

Up north was good. I got to see Jackie. I miss her so much. We can not talk for a month, then see each other and it's like no time has passed at all. She's like my friend-soulmate. No one gets me like she does. We all (Jackie, her boyfriend Cayce, her son, Will and I) went to Sturgeon, had a couple of beers on the beach, went swimming (COLD) then had a bonfire back at her house and had a glass of homemade peach wine. It was so much fun, so chill. The next day I had my appointment, got prescribed an anti-depressant and a sleeping pill. I've had issues with my insurance and can't get it filled until I jump through a few hoops. Hopefully, next week sometime I can get it. If I have to pay out of pocket, it will be $150 for the AD and $250 for the sleeping pill. Eek. My mom and I really got into it on Thursday and she was blatantly lying to me (Will can back me up on that one). Ugh. We had a nice dinner at a Polish restaurant (my dad was in heaven) and drove back down here.

 

Had a blast at the waterpark, despite my friend bailing. It was just Will and me. We were on the lazy river for like 2 hours. We got there right as it opened and left when it was closing. I was EXHAUSTED. They had some super scary (fun!) slides and a wave pool that made HUGE waves. I kept getting yelled at by the lifeguard for going out too far (I wanted to yell at her that I was a lifeguard too haha).

 

Last night, Will and I went out to the local bar. I think I attract crazy alcoholics. Some guy started talking to me (us) and he was absolutely hammered. He had just gotten out of prison (!). He was 33 and had been in since he was 15. Yikes. I ventured to ask what he was in for. Attempted murder. How lovely. He bought us shots though haha. It was nice to get out. The bar is cheap and I needed to do something social. It was a lot of fun, even with the creeper.

 

The following posts will be some photos from the past week.

[jengh]

Up north was good. I got to see Jackie. I miss her so much. We can not talk for a month, then see each other and it's like no time has passed at all. She's like my friend-soulmate. No one gets me like she does. We all (Jackie, her boyfriend Cayce, her son, Will and I) went to Sturgeon, had a couple of beers on the beach, went swimming (COLD) then had a bonfire back at her house and had a glass of homemade peach wine. It was so much fun, so chill. The next day I had my appointment, got prescribed an anti-depressant and a sleeping pill. I've had issues with my insurance and can't get it filled until I jump through a few hoops. Hopefully, next week sometime I can get it. If I have to pay out of pocket, it will be $150 for the AD and $250 for the sleeping pill. Eek. My mom and I really got into it on Thursday and she was blatantly lying to me (Will can back me up on that one). Ugh. We had a nice dinner at a Polish restaurant (my dad was in heaven) and drove back down here.

 

Had a blast at the waterpark, despite my friend bailing. It was just Will and me. We were on the lazy river for like 2 hours. We got there right as it opened and left when it was closing. I was EXHAUSTED. They had some super scary (fun!) slides and a wave pool that made HUGE waves. I kept getting yelled at by the lifeguard for going out too far (I wanted to yell at her that I was a lifeguard too haha).

 

Last night, Will and I went out to the local bar. I think I attract crazy alcoholics. Some guy started talking to me (us) and he was absolutely hammered. He had just gotten out of prison (!). He was 33 and had been in since he was 15. Yikes. I ventured to ask what he was in for. Attempted murder. How lovely. He bought us shots though haha. It was nice to get out. The bar is cheap and I needed to do something social. It was a lot of fun, even with the creeper.

 

The following posts will be some photos from the past week.

[jengh]

Petoskey

 

The docks:

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The waterfront with a crazy fog over the bay:

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Harbor Springs is on the other side of the bay but you can't see it because of the fog:

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[jengh]

Sturgeon!!!

 

Pathway leading to the beach:

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Sand dunes:

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Perfect evening:

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Beach:

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[jengh]

Sturgeon, Part II

Lovelovelove:

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Sun!

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